We find all of WSEM... Quilty

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

So, it's kinda cold outside. Here's a quilt to keep you warm!

Each square panel represents one of 108 WSEM players who have recorded 50 plate appearances in a season, or are a member of the incoming 2014 rookie class. The colors indicate the different franchises to which the player has belonged, and the portion of his career spent with each. Solid color panels can represent either rookies or loyal one-team veterans. Vertical halves are used to identify a two-year player who has moved around, vertical thirds for a three-year player, and quadrants for a player who has been with WSEM since our first rodeo four years ago. Further division of one of those segments indicates a mid-season trade.

65 of the 108 panels are a solid color: meaning 60% of players have belonged to only one franchise. When the 12 incoming rookies are excluded from this, however, the percentage of all players in WSEM to have ever called a different clubhouse home increases to 45%.
How many of these players can you recognize from their panel?

AK

BW

CC

DK

DU

EL

FS

HB

IS

JM

KF

MP

ON

WW

WA

WD

WO

Pitching FTW

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

There are few certainties in wiffleball. The wind can turn a game into a slugfest or a marathon pitcher’s duel. A batter can stick his bat out with his eyes closed and knock it over a short porch. A below average fielder can even throw out a runner at home from 80 feet away with a peg to the strike zone. However, after three seasons of WSEM I have learned one thing: pitching wins.

Pearson dominated in 2011 and led Git r’ Done to a championship before the rotation rule was set. The Bischoff brothers did the same in 2012 for the Aces. 2013 saw Evan Bortmas as the Aces #4 pitcher, so guess who won that year? I am not shocking anyone here with earth shattering scientific analysis, this is common sense stuff. It is simply tough to win it all if you do not have a deep, dominant pitching staff.

Can you still win with good, not great pitching? Yes, look at the Holy Balls last season. Chris Paquin stepped in as the ace with a revolving door of #2 pitchers and they won 18 games. Can you have great pitching and still lose? Yes, look at the 2012 Mattseals who had a 1.66 team ERA and finished in 6th place.

Not every roster is set for 2014, but you can plainly see which teams are set at pitching and which teams have question marks. I look at the ten teams and can break them all into three categories: ‘Scary Good’, ‘Could be Good’, and ‘Who Knows?’ I also ranked each team’s top 3 guys, and also gave them a grade. It is January though, so don’t take anything too seriously.

Who Knows?

Onanism These guys epitomize the ‘Who Knows’ category. In 2013, a lot of really solid pitchers didn’t reach the 30 inning mark which you need to qualify for league leader categories, so when it was all said and done Kiefer Haffey finished 3rd in ERA. He isn’t a top 3 pitcher nor is he a top 10 pitcher, but he is a solid #2 or #3 option on a competing team. In judging their top 3, I just picked out two rookies to join Kiefer. Top 3 1. Kiefer Haffey 2. Dan Simms 3. Nick Hool Grade: Incomplete

King Friday I do have a pretty good idea that King Friday’s pitching situation will be less than good, but they do have some question marks that could surprise us. 75% of the roster took 2013 off after playing in 2012, so maybe a year off has helped guys like Tristan Birotte or Ryan Hurd Jr. Also, they did sign a rookie named Rich Beach who is very enthusiastic about playing this year. He could be lightning in a bottle. Top 3 1. Rich Beach 2. Tristan Birotte 3. Ryan Hurd Jr. Grade: D-

Belgian Wiffles Belgian lacked an identity on the mound in 2013, but for the upcoming season they will rely on a nice combination of proven veterans and hopeful rookies. No one knows how good Travis Strojny and Stephen Farkas will be, but they will be given a lot of innings early in the season to show their worth. Nick Braden and even Josh Nagorski will also get a lot of innings on the hill. Top 3 1. Travis Strojny 2. Stephen Farkas 3. Nick Braden Grade: C-

Flying Squirrels Much of what I said about the Belgian Wiffle pitching can be said about the Flying Squirrels. They have rookies and veterans and it is unknown if they will mesh. One thing is different though, their rookies did pitch in the Flying Squirrels invitational and one of them (Kevin Doby) pitched well. Doby will join Jason Hewlett as their expected 1-2 punch, and I assume newly acquired Zac Adams will also be in the mix. Top 3 1. Jason Hewlett 2. Kevin Doby 3. Zac Adams Grade: C

Could be Good

Wolfpack The Wolfpack have some of the most athletic players in the league, but can those athletes pitch? I am very curious to see who will emerge as the team’s ace in the upcoming season. Mark Brannan has the most pitching experience and tied for 2nd in strike outs in 2013. Andrew Piasecki is being hyped up and Nicco Lollio is going to get his chance as well. There were some rumors they might sign a rookie or two to pitch, but those rumors have fizzled out as of late. Top 3 1. Mark Brannan 2. Andrew Piasecki 3. Nicco Lollio Grade: C+

Islanders The Islanders are capable of winning any game Will Mundel starts, but when he is absent or when their #2 pitches, they are usually the underdog. Alex Linebrink always seems to find new guys, and he is rumored to have found some in the YMCA league his team won over the fall. Right now Linebrink and Murtha are penciled in as the #2 and #3, but I have a feeling they will find a rookie stud to pair up with Mundel. They could be really dangerous. Top 3 1. Will Mundel 2. Alex Linebrink 3. Matt Murtha Grade: B-

Holy Balls You can call Dennis Pearson an ace, but he is now a borderline elite guy. He will still get his wins and strike outs, but walking in runs is always a concern with him. With that said, did the Holy Balls improve in pitching? Of course. Let’s just imagine this scenario. The Holy Balls reach the #4 vs. #5 one game playoff and Dennis Pearson is on the mound. He gives them a chance to win against anyone. The rest of the roster is filled with guys who can pitch if needed, and Phillip Morris is rumored to complete their roster. Paquin is the obvious #2, and Corbett, Lewis, and Dylan Braden have all pitched well in the past. Top 3 1. Dennis Pearson 2. Chris Paquin 3. Brandon Corbett Grade: B

Scary Good

Westside Warriors This isn’t an article about player’s availability, but of course that is on everyone’s mind when talking about the Westside Warriors. Bortmas and Hatt are reunited and you cannot forget about their historic 2012 season where they went a combined 20-2. Bortmas could have a chip on his shoulder after the Aces demoted him to their #4 pitcher in 2013. Hatt came back from injury last year and was his dominant self. David Castle is a very nice #3 and will no doubt be called upon a lot. Top 3 1. Sam Hatt 2. Evan Bortmas 3. David Castle Grade: A-

El Diablos I do believe El Diablos have the best 1-2 punch in the league, but after that there’s a huge drop off. Luckily for them, Chandler and Skinner have always been very committed and do not miss many games. The dominant duo had a combined 21 starts in 2013, and if they are near that number in 2014 they will be at or near the 20 win mark. Dakota LaDouceur went 2-0 last year and will probably start a few games this upcoming season to give Chandler and Craig some rest. Top 3 1. Craig Skinner 2. Chandler Phillips 3. Dakota LaDouceur Grade: A

Whiteford Wicked Aces The ace of this team was just named the best pitcher in the entire country and doesn’t need an introduction. Little E is arguably the most underrated pitcher in the league and keeps getting better. RJ Fisher is another underrated guy who I believe is a top 5 pitcher in the league. When you play the Aces you never get an easy game. Crozier and Hughes aren’t slacks either and will get some innings. Wicked Aces sure is a well suited name for the two-time defending champs. Top 3 1. Austin Bischoff 2. RJ Fisher 3. Evan Bischoff Grade: A+

What Could Have Been...?

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

The Whiteford Wicked Aces are the two-time defending champs, and it is a safe assumption that if they win it all in 2014 you can call them a dynasty. As I think about their dominance over the past two seasons, my mind wanders to the Manchester Punchouts and their historic 2012 season.

Just like the Wicked Aces, the Manchester Punchouts joined WSEM in 2012 and also once had their own league. Evan Bortmas was the commissioner of the Manchester Wiffleball League and then became the captain of the Punchouts when they joined WSEM. They had a great field, dominant pitching, lightning speed, flawless fielding, and even hit well in the ‘Year of the Pitcher.’

After starting the season 1-2, they then pulled off 25 straight wins to finish 26-2. They beat the Aces three times in the regular season, swept the very talented Belgian Wiffles and Thunder Ducks teams, and rolled into the playoffs super-hot. In the 2nd round they took care of Belgian three games to one, and then they were matched up with the Aces in the Best of 7 Championship Series.

At this point in the season the Punchouts were rolling with three guys: Bortmas, Sam Hatt, and Dakota LaDouceur. So not only were they dominating the league, but they dominated with one less fielder than their competitors. The problem though with only having three committed guys was that if one of them could not make it, the team did not have enough to play. So guess what happened as we were ready to start the Championship? Yep...

The league truly was robbed in 2012. That would have been an amazing Championship to watch and be a part of. The Aces took home the Commissioner’s Cup, the Punchouts broke up with the players all joining different teams in 2013, and the rest is history.

What if the Punchouts would have been able to play the 2012 Championship Series? They probably would have won it all. That is not a slam against the Aces. Check out the stats and their head to head regular season meetings: the Punchouts were just better. To be honest, I truly believe they were the best team in the entire NWLA that year.

So if the Punchouts would have won, would they have then returned in 2013 to defend their title? Would they be the team in the midst of being called a dynasty? Would Bortmas, Hatt, and LaDouceur be the players winning National Wiffy Awards? I cannot help but think what could have been.

No Orchiding: a Wolfpack Prognostication

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We may have our first good omen for a team in the 2014 season, and it appears to come for the Wolfpack. Yesterday, Pantone Inc. announced "radiant orchid" - a hue very similar to one being used by the Wolfpack - as the 2014 color of the year.

"Orchid is growing on us: A version of the purple hue is Pantone Inc.'s color of the year for 2014." - Detroit Free Press

"Officially known as radiant orchid, the tropical shade is... a little different, it's a little off the beaten path... It's an invitation to innovation," a Free Press article announcing the decision detailed. Off the beaten path and a little different, huh? Well, if that doesn't signal an innate connection with Wiffleball, I don't know what does. And the part about being an invite for innovation? That can only suggest great things for the 'Pack, and it's just the beginning.

Colleen Sharin, senior fashion director for Saks Fifth Avenue, goes on to praise radiant orchid as, "very relevant for spring, but I think even going into next fall (it will be)." Obviously, Sharin speaks to its place in fashion, but in our interconnected world her words promise even greater results in the context of Wiffleball. "Into the fall," is commonly used in MLB lingo when talking about playoff runs or races. Even though WSEM ends our season in August, it's not hard to extrapolate the meaning over to our game: being very relevant in the playoff picture. Any team has to like having that behind them.

Of course, it should be pointed out that Emerald Green is the color of this year, and while just a few shades away from what the Ducks used that relationship did not coalesce into anything more than a .393 season on the Wiffleball field and missing out on the playoffs. Still, with all the places the article expects to see radiant orchid show well - handbags, women's fashion, cosmetics, upholstery, desserts - it's hard not to jump in on the excitement and add Wiffle to that mix!

Let us know what do you think: a good omen for team of the year, or just a great color for 2014?