Dressed to the 14s

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Three teams have released their 2014 jersey designs so far: Belgian Wiffles, Holy Balls, and Westside Warriors. I'll break down what those looks bring to the table first, before jumping into rumors, expectations, and "PLEASE, make this happen!" hopes for the rest of the league. The sets known for the three teams have already included some surprises and clever, new ideas. Could WSEM be on our way to the best looking season on the fields, as well the most competitive? Read on and be the judge.




The Belgian Wiffles kicked off the 2014 jersey releases in time for Slow in the Snow. It's the team's third different look in three years, which is fitting for the team's third roster turnover in three years. At first glance the most notable thing about the 2014 design is the use of the fun "Swinging Butterworth" logo below a playful script on the front. In a sense, it's a combination of both prior looks - team name only, big logo only. At the same time it's completely different from both. The most innovative aspect of the jersey is the yellow-on-yellow number on the back. It doesn't sound like it should work, but it does, so well. It's quickly become my favorite part of this look. #SuckIt Butterworth!



This Holy Balls design seemingly came out of nowhere. Up until the night it was unveiled all talk hinted at only a "minor update" coming to their 2013 design. The reason for the overhaul is best summed up by Dylan Braden, "Gotta switch it up. New (roster), new jerseys." That switch up? Big balls. Literally. Their logo is blown up to cover the full shirt. The four holes from their original Wiffle ball design take center stage across the chest, occupying the space you'd normally expect to see the team name, as well as on the back above the numbers. The old English "HB" secondary logo also sees its first real-world use in a sort of Tigers-meets-Blue Jays application on the lower front of the jersey. This design is certainly out-of-the-box, since it clearly won't let itself fit inside of one.
Update: We now have photos of the actual jerseys: front and back, detail.


Before this year's redesign the Westside Warriors had worn the same design on a couple templates, contrast piping and solid black, since 2010. That design won the "best dressed" award in 2011. Big shoes to fill. How does the new look measure up? Well, for starters, the update of the Warrior head logo is a rousing upgrade. The Evan Bortmas original is heavy on the details: the sexiest being the Wiffle ball incorporated into the headdress. The new black jersey features their logo much more prominently than the design it replaces, overlapping the Warriors script even. Westside is the first team to announce two jerseys for 2014. Their second shirts again go big logo style, using their secondary roundel, which stole the show during the unveil, on grey. The black numbers outlined in orange on both jerseys will be especially interesting on the black, where they'll look either amazing or be a nightmare to read. Overall the new look is a bolder one; fitting for a team thrusting themselves into championship discussions.



El Diablos have said they'll be wearing grey jerseys with teal graphics. Which of their logos or scripts they use and where is anyone's guess. They are getting their shirts through Nike or UnderArmor, though, so one thing we know for sure: the company's branding will be every bit as apparent as El Diablos'.

As with much of what's happening with the Flying Squirrels, there has been no word on what direction the team will take with their jerseys. Light blue? Brown? Script? A "Tipsy" crest? Debut of the Wiff-acorn? The Squirrels have gone through a lot of historical laundry, Sessions could easily dip back into that. He also has the entire logo catalog to play with, though, so could just as easily come up with something entirely new.

What we know from the Islanders camp is that they will not bring back the white/black raglans. It's a loss from a style perspective, but the reasoning for it is hard to argue with: long sleeves are a poor clothing decision in the summer.

King Friday will likely don red shirts again, and I'd be surprised to see use them use anything other than their KF logo, as done in 2012, or the wiffled shield from last season. One thing to cross fingers and anxiously await here: might the outlined numbers from 2012 return?

Oakland County Onanism are another in the unknown category. Grey or green are their options, and we're heavily rooting for green, since it will be a unique color on the fields this season. Throw on the O and excretion logo in white or grey, and voila!

The Whiteford Wicked Aces already have three jerseys in their lockers, so it's possible they don't make any additions or changes. However, since their debut in the 2011 fall tournament they have added a new jersey each season. They also have another streak going on during that same time frame. Sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on, ya know?

We know for certain that the Wolfpack will not wear radiant orchid, the color of the year. Like with the Onanism, we hope they go with orange over grey to make themselves stand out on the fields. What we REALLY hope is that they go with the amazing piece of handiwork pictured to the right! (Get them here, Hollister.)

Rob Oden

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

On February 7th, 2014 Dennis Pearson went under the knife for what he thought was a routine, tortuous pulling of wisdom teeth. However, little did he know that once the anesthesia kicked in he was in for a much more radical sort of surgery.


Dennis in the "dentist's chair" Holy Balls captain, Chris Paquin, didn't just desire the perfect Wiffleball player, he obsessed over the idea. Noting that the WSEM rulebook doesn't outlaw robots, androids, or cyborgs from playing, Chris parlayed his love for Megaman and the Terminator into developing his flawless Wiffler. He secured a secret location and assembled a team of the world's most brilliant scientists (none of whom spoke English) along with one outstanding bartender (who also couldn't speak English) and the entire of cast of Top Gun for nightly reenactments. Billions of dollars and a handful of prototypes in, the team kept running into the same problem: the machines couldn't comprehend what Wiffleball was!

Unable to compute, the first prototype autocorrected to "waffle," and became the world's number one producer of the breakfast food. A failure, yes, but the added revenue allowed the team to further advance its facilities. Later models recognized their priority as a sport, but always defaulted to the much more commonplace option of baseball. Seven of these prototypes were on display during the 2013 World Series. Paquin ultimately realized that he needed the human component to be successful.

Thus began the plan to get Dennis in the chair, under anesthesia. As soon as he was knocked out Paquin, three of his scientists, and Clarence Gilyard, Jr. (Sundown from Top Gun) moved Dennis to a secure facility where they began the transformation. Already a strong pitcher, they sought to improve his performance by using the ligament tightening procedure theorized by Rookie of the Year in his right arm. His left arm was outfitted with a threat detection system to identify and intercept incoming objects: i.e. flying wiffleballs. Electromagnetic joints replaced those in his legs and pelvis to improve his speed. A rocket motor was installed in his ass, because the team thought it would be really cool (and could aid in robbing home runs). His shoulders received similar electromagnetic upgrades to his legs, but quick-burn rocket thrusters were also added to his wrists to boost his already impressive swing. They also pulled out his wisdom teeth, since that was actually a thing.

Upon first activation Robo Dennis' initial mission was to hit the urinal. The scientists were excited about this, since it meant the human mind was still in play. Providing even more excitement to the team was that after relieving himself Dennis immediately crafted four Wiffleballs out of the very urinal he used, then threw three of them for perfect strikes 150 yards away - breaking the board in the process. The scientists celebrated. Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards, and Tom Skerritt popped champagne; the bottle Tim Robbins was working on was
Rob Oden wants you! tricky, but Robo Dennis walked over and opened it with no more than a thought. It was at this point, when the new Dennis spoke for the first time, that the team learned there was a single, minor flaw in their revolutionary creation.

"I am Rob Oden. I will play Wiffleball. Who are my opponents?"

Rob Oden? The eyes of team members darted around. Glasses rattled. Tom Cruise looked like a douche. The labored, uncomfortable silence ended when Paquin looked up from his phone that he'd been frantically scrolling through and spoke: "I... Yeah, that's my bad. I accidentally typed a space in there when assigning the project name. Kinda cool, though." Rob Oden pointed to Paquin from across the room, "you can be Rob Oden's wing man!" Tom Cruise instinctively yelled back, "no you can be mine!" Rob Oden rashly cracked open Tom's skull with the fourth Wiffleball, then proceeded to craft another out of it.

Oden, Paquin, the scientists and surviving Top Gun cast have since gone underground to seek out the best, nay, wipe out the filthiest Wiffleball talent. Rumor has it they're currently hanging around Philadelphia. Anyone in the mood for cheese steaks?

Which is Really the Right Side of the Plate?

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We compare everything around here: years, fields, teams, players, designs, colors, penises... How is it possible that we have never set left next to right to answer an ancient, troubling question of the game: why do some players bat from the wrong side of the plate? Is there a quantifiable advantage to the ass-backward mechanics and starting two feet closer to first base?

To find out once and for all I took the career stats (hits, total bases, and at bats) for all seasoned WSEM players, tallied them up by side of the plate,* calculated the average and slugging percentage for each, then compared the results.


John "Sharlow" Sharlow bats left-handed.
Ryan "Ryan A" Alexia bats right-handed.

17

PLAYERS

74

No big surprise here, just some table setting. We know lefties are the rare breed, but now we see they are outnumbered by slightly less than 4.5 to 1. This is actually a little closer than I expected, as it sees them representing 18.7% of WSEM players.

.266

AVERAGE

.259

Lefties strike first, hitting for average. The .007 advantage may seem quaint, but at a 2.7% margin is actually fairly significant. Both the best (.559) and worst (.083) performing lefties also beat out the respective ceiling (.540) and cellar (.035) from the right-handed side to make it an even more decided advantage.

.416

SLUGGING %

.443

Righties strike back in the power game, and do so by a much wider spread: .027, representing a 6.5% margin. The low end for both sides remains the same as average, however, the top performing righty now outperforms his lefty counterpart by over one-hundred points, 1.161 to 1.059. There is a definitive advantage here.

2

MVPs, RotYs, Batting Champs, & HR Kings

11

The disparity in offensive awards seems the most lopsided, and while it is "advantage righties," it is a much closer margin than 11-to-2 first appears. Remember that lefties represent just 18.7% of the league, and thus play with that percentage chance of winning any award. They have managed to win 15.4% of the offensive-focused Handies, a falloff of only 3.3%. For those keeping score, on the flip side that means righties, who make up 81.7% of the league, have taken home 84.6% of the awards.

So, where does this leave us: lefties make better contact? Righties have more power? Award nominations are dominated by a biased right-handed conglomerate? Perhaps, apparently, and that's the way it should be! be careful making such lofty accusations are the respective answers there.

We may get mixed results when breaking down production, but the titular question is, "which is really the right side of the plate?" Well, the right side clearly is not always the right side. Additionally, at the risk of unsettling the ghost of Gerry Bertier, the left side is not the strong side. So... push. Both sides seem to have some claim to the qualification. It may need to be decided one day on one field. Who wants to see a "Lefty-Star vs. Righty-Star Game" to settle things once and for all?

* Switch hitters were placed onto the side from which they are most frequently seen batting.

No Orchiding: a Wolfpack Prognostication

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We may have our first good omen for a team in the 2014 season, and it appears to come for the Wolfpack. Yesterday, Pantone Inc. announced "radiant orchid" - a hue very similar to one being used by the Wolfpack - as the 2014 color of the year.

"Orchid is growing on us: A version of the purple hue is Pantone Inc.'s color of the year for 2014." - Detroit Free Press

"Officially known as radiant orchid, the tropical shade is... a little different, it's a little off the beaten path... It's an invitation to innovation," a Free Press article announcing the decision detailed. Off the beaten path and a little different, huh? Well, if that doesn't signal an innate connection with Wiffleball, I don't know what does. And the part about being an invite for innovation? That can only suggest great things for the 'Pack, and it's just the beginning.

Colleen Sharin, senior fashion director for Saks Fifth Avenue, goes on to praise radiant orchid as, "very relevant for spring, but I think even going into next fall (it will be)." Obviously, Sharin speaks to its place in fashion, but in our interconnected world her words promise even greater results in the context of Wiffleball. "Into the fall," is commonly used in MLB lingo when talking about playoff runs or races. Even though WSEM ends our season in August, it's not hard to extrapolate the meaning over to our game: being very relevant in the playoff picture. Any team has to like having that behind them.

Of course, it should be pointed out that Emerald Green is the color of this year, and while just a few shades away from what the Ducks used that relationship did not coalesce into anything more than a .393 season on the Wiffleball field and missing out on the playoffs. Still, with all the places the article expects to see radiant orchid show well - handbags, women's fashion, cosmetics, upholstery, desserts - it's hard not to jump in on the excitement and add Wiffle to that mix!

Let us know what do you think: a good omen for team of the year, or just a great color for 2014?

This... is my Boomstick! Comparing Offensive Stats from 2012 to 2013

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Feliz Dia de Los Muertos! Let us talk about things that have come and gone. A lot was made of the bat switch this past season, and a lot of fun was had with the bat switch this past season. But what exactly did the bat switch mean when all was said and done?

The trick to comparing 2012 and 2013 stats from WSEM is that you cannot take the numbers at face value. Since, the two seasons featured a different number of teams playing, and thus a different number of games played, you must first account for that by dividing the "counting" stat categories by the number of teams involved: 8 for 2013, 10 for 2012. After doing that you will see that the number of hits per team saw a modest increase of 15.6% this season. That is just about exactly what we were looking for with the switch. It led to a league-wide batting average of .263, which falls just north of the MLB average of .253. For comparison: the WSEM average in 2012 was .226.

Stat	% change from 2012-2013
H/team	115.6
2B/team	142.0
3B/team	62.5
HR/team	171.4
TB/team	132.5
BB/team	178.0
R/team	196.7
AVG	116.4
SLG	133.5
OBP	128.7

Stat	WSEM '12	WSEM '13	MLB '13
AVG	.226	.263	.253
SLG	.360	.481	.396
OBP	.355	.457	.318
R/G	2.43	4.78	4.17
PA/R	8.61	4.92	9.13

The power numbers are where things really took off. The .037 (16.4%) increase in league batting average led to more than triple that for slugging percentage, with a league-wide jump of .121 in that stat: an increase of 33.5%. Bolstering that inflation were the number of doubles per team increasing by 42%, while the number of home runs per team saw a staggering 71.4% increase. Obviously, the bigger barreled bats account for part of the boom, but can we really find them solely responsible for the power surge? After all: "band boxes" and "tail winds" were things evidently. The fact that triples per team decreased by 37.5% this past season seems to back up the shared role that smaller fields other factors also played in the slugging increase. Now for a related, but irrelevant, fun fact: there were only 7 triples hit in the 2013 season, and each came from a different player.

One more place the bat switch was hugely successful, and my favorite stat boom to see from 2012 to 2013, is how runs per team nearly doubled this season! That 96.7% increase moved home plate from the desert littered with 15+ inning 1-0 affairs to much more fertile tracks of land. Another way to look at the run production boost is how many plate appearances came between there were per run scored. In 2012 this number was 8.61, and it dropped sharply to just 57.1% of that in 2013: 4.92. Bringing a run around to score every fifth batter instead of every eighth or ninth certainly makes for much more exciting action for the 75% of the league who are not pitchers. Plus, when you look at the minimum number of plate appearances in a game (15 for WSEM, 27 for MLB), having our PA/R be a little over half the MLB makes it much more analogous.

One thing here that does not make the game more exciting, unless you are the Mayor or Billy Beane, is the big 78% jump in walks per team. Much like the HR/team numbers and overall slugging percentage, though, the big change in this one stat only corresponds to a league-wide on-base percentage increase of 28.7%, slightly less than double the increase in league batting average. In the spirit of full disclosure, I find myself quite responsible for the large increase in walks: in 2013 I had 46 walks, which perfectly matched my number of career walks from the previous two seasons combined.

The inflated walk total seems to be something that is already remedying itself. Pushing the mound back three feet was something we knew would make pitchers adjust, and those adjustments seemed to be made as the season went on: i.e. pitchers found the zone with more practice from 48'. Figuring I needed some facts to back that statement up for this article, I ran the numbers for five random pitchers. I took their walk totals over their first five games in 2013, then compared that to the rest of their season. All but one of those five pitchers saw a decrease in walks per inning as the season went on. These four all saw double-digit percentage decreases in their walks: 13%, 17%, 25%, and a Jim Price "wow!" worthy 67%. In addition, two of them were giving up less than one walk per inning over the second half of their season. The takeaway here? Pitchers are only continuing to get better from 48', and walks will settle down.

That is essentially what we expect heading forward: the offense had an up year last year with the changes, now - with no sweeping rule changes - pitching will start to counter. Managing the quality of competition in a Wiffleball league is a balancing act. Pitching will always be the centerpiece of Wiffleball; pitching prowess is the reason the ball exists, after all. But with the majority of players in the league never toeing the rubber, it is nice to see the pitchers take a slap across the face once in awhile.

BIG NAMES

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

The 2012-2013 offseason saw a surprising amount of movement in free agency. That was awesome! Some of the moves were groundbreaking. Others just settling. Now, with the introduction the talent cap for 2014, as well as two new franchises, we are expecting an even more active offseason. Listed below are six of the players who I think are the BIGGEST NAMES in 2013-14 free agency, and the reasons why I think they fit there. Obviously, there may be more than these names floating around, and I hope to be blindsided by a few big moves, too! But, let this be an appetizer for the main course coming up on October 1st. Let's look at some of the early BIG NAMES!

	22 HR	★	DENNIS PEARSON Pearson ran away with the Country Strong HR King title in 2013. The closest player to him was 9 behind and nearly doubled up on. 22 of Dennis' 38 hits on the season were home runs. That's 58%! Putting more numbers to that, it was once every 4.7 at bats that Pearson hit a home run! Spurred by his home run totals, Dennis also led the league in RBI (45) and slugging (1.038). The latter of which was over .100 better than his closest competitor! Also, his 38 hits see him tied for fourth, while at 36 runs scored he came in sixth. Pearson is gold standard of offensive production, and a quintessential 5-star played based on that alone. The fact he can rack up 130 K on the mound in a season, which is tied for second, is just the cherry on top. Teams linked to:  El Diablos were hard after Dennis, but affording him would prove tricky. Holy Balls and Pearson were reportedly in talks a couple weeks back, although those appear to have stalled. Squirrels brass has mentioned Pearson's name, though it is unknown if any talks have occurred.
	1.038 SLG	★
	45 RBI	★
	38 H	★
	130 K PITCHING	★

	.426 AVG	★	DAVID CASTLE The big noise Castle made in 2013 was with his 22 stolen bases en route to the first-ever Great Lakes Stealer handy. Really, though, that sideshow just distracts from the incredible season he had offensively. His 13 home runs were second in the league, as were his 47 runs scored. His .861 slugging percentage was third best in the league. His .426 average was good enough for fourth, while David led the league with 49 hits, including 9 doubles and a triple. Castle's impact after signing with Holy Balls in 2013 was huge. His production led a team projected to finish near .500 to 8 games over that at the end of the season, easily in possession of the third seed. In addition to his stout offensive numbers, David also provides teams with a solid option as a number two or three pitcher. Likely landing spots: Castle was excited to test the market, so it may be a long list of suitors. He will most likely remain downriver, though. So, with El Diablos unable to bring in high star talent, a return to a former team - Belgian or Balls - could be in the cards. Although, do not rule out David possibly forming part of a solid core with Hollister's new team, either.
	.821 SLG	★
	47 R	★
	22 SB	★
	13 HR	★

	.796 SLG	★	Evan Bortmas Perennial All-Star. 2012 MVP, and in the discussion again in 2013. If he had thrown more innings with the Aces in 2013, Evan would also have been in the running for Clown Shu both years, as well. Bortmas may be the most well-rounded player in WSEM: hitting for average, hitting for power, pitching, speed, and defense are all strengths of his. In 2013, Bortmas finished sixth, fourth, fifth, and third respectively in batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and RBI. His career numbers are a .397 AVG, .545 OBP, and .835 SLG. Teams linked to: The Aces could hold onto him and pay a luxury tax, but inquiries made to the front office make it seem like they will not head in that direction. More rumors about where Evan may be residing have spurred lots of talks. Hearing he may live in Detroit has the Islanders pursuing the opportunity to sign him and form a dynamite 1-2 combination in their rotation. Reports indicate the Warriors have similarly been trying to work out an arrangement to reunite the elite tandem of Bortmas and Hatt.
	.591 OBP	★
	10 HR	★
	45 R	★
	39 RBI	★

	.686 SLG	★	Dakota LaDouceur An unconfirmed, but likely, cap casualty of El Diablos, Dakota is a great pickup for any team. He has hit over .325 in both of his seasons in the league, slugged over .685, and gotten on base better than fifty percent of the time. He was a co-Country Strong HR King in 2012, and his accomplishments seem to only ever be overshadowed by teammates. Think Prince Fielder to Miguel Cabrera. He is still a beast. In 2013, LaDouceur was eighth in slugging percentage (.686), sixth in on-base percentage (.557), and tied for eighth in home runs (9). Teams linked to: Belgian are reportedly offering Dakota free breakfast at IHOP for the duration of the season. The Squirrels also seem to be angling to lure LaDouceur in, although no terms have yet leaked out from Sessions' camp. It is assumed their incentives are not be breakfast-based, however. The Islanders are also rumored to be poking around, citing that Dakota would make a great pirate.
	.557 OBP	★
	40 R	★
	38 RBI	★

			Josh Nagorski Josh was underutilized in 2013. Still, he managed a top seven finish in batting average. He also had an extra base hit once every thirteen at bats, including a home run hit in every twenty six. When able to play a full season, Nagorski has proven to provide competitive numbers at the plate. Nagorski also has the humor to keep a bench loose in tense situations, which is an invaluable trait. On his career Josh has a batting average of .348, an on-base percentage of .412, and a slugging percentage of .483. Simply stated: get him to the field and he will come through. Teams interested: At three stars Nagorski is a good pick-up for most teams. He will likely be another downriver leaning player, though. Not much talk has come up with his name yet, but if Belgian continues to play in his backyard, that could be a potential fit. Hollister's expansion team is again a potential fit, as could be a team like Holy Balls looking for an offensive spark.
	.404 AVG	★
	.456 OBP	★
	.556 SLG	★

			Ryan Alexia Hear me out. Alexia is Billy Beane's wet dream. He was tied for third in walks for the 2013 season with 46, and was sixth in on-base percentage (.567). He was also second in steals, with 14. Alexia may not hit for power or drive in a ton of runs, but to restate what was said two sentences ago: he gets on base. If you put Ryan in front of quality hitters in a lineup, his presence will create many runs scored. Additionally, he is a very solid defensive shortstop. Teams linked to: The Squirrels have made a strong push for signing Alexia. Sessions is a big fan of sabermetrics, after all, so it makes perfect sense. The Balls could also be a good fit with Bullard and Alexia being close friends, as well as it also being rumored the Balls made a play for Alexia before the 2013 season began. We should not rule out the possibility of Alexia returning to Belgian, either, heading over to the team's facebook page still shows the team featuring Ryan as the face of the franchise.
	.567 OBP	★
	46 BB	★
	14 SB	★

The Charm

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Third time is the charm. This just completed WSEM Championship Series was the first ever to be played out properly, and as a result the first time the Commissioner's Cup was handed out at the field. Wicked Aces in four was the odds on favorite at 3:1, and that is exactly what happened. Still, the series was not without its unexpected turns.

We can start right with the setup of the series. During the season 87% of games were played on the the weekend: 50% on Sundays, 37% on Saturdays. With that the 2013 Championship Series is an oddball right from drawing table, as 50% of it was played on a weeknight. On top of that, the title was won on a Monday night in Ottawa Lake - the first Monday games of the entire 2013 campaign. Call it a special occasion for a special moment.

The little oddities found their way onto the field, too. The two teams seemed to have a gentlemen's arrangement made between them, since both rosters played half of the series without one of their best bats in lineup. El Diablos opened the series up last Sunday at Pervis Memorial without Kyle Tomlinson, 2012 Rookie of the Year and 2013 MVP candidate. In turn, Joel Crozier, who had provided late inning heroics twice during the 2013 playoffs already (including once in the championship), was unavailable for the back half of the series at Poolside Park. The additional curious note here, obviously, is that both guys missed the set of games at their home field.

The bats of Kyle and Joel were not the only notable absence either. Aces captain Austin Bischoff also was M.I.A. for the final two games of the series on Monday night. This left his little brother, Evan Bischoff, to handle the Aces remaining three-man roster. That leaves us with a pair of interesting quirks: one, the first time the Commissioner's Cup was presented on-field it was handed to an acting captain; two, the ensuing on-field celebration with the Cup was enjoyed by only three men. I guess good things do come in threes.

Finally, the predictions for a pitching dominated series with frequent trips to extra innings seemed to be spot on at the start. Games 1 and 2 both went into extras tied at zero. The Aces led the way in hitting with a .133 AVG, while El Diablos hit just .048. The back half of the series saw the offensive numbers take a big jump, though. Led by Nicco Lollio's 3 hits, El Diablos jumped nearly 100 points to .147 as a team. Meanwhile, the Aces finally pushed over the Mendoza line with a .206 AVG. It was the six hit performance by Evan Bortmas at Poolside that rallied the Aces. After going 0-12 in the first two games, Bortmas hit .462 in the final two and led the Aces to a sound victory in game 4.

The teams showed up. The series happened. It played out the way it was designed. Yet still, with all that said, some weird stuff went down.

#wiffleisweird

Now Batting... Batting... Batting...

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

2-0. When talking counts I think we call that one "Barry." Being down in the count is not something any of the pitchers had to worry about much at Pervis Memorial for the start of this Championship Series; 52 of the 78 outs in the two games were recorded by strikeout. However, even though Craig Skinner and Chandler Phillips both threw five scoreless innings - two regulation shutouts - in their starts, they and El Diablos now have to worry about being down 2-0 in the series.

Everybody expected to see the great pitching matchups and looming extra innings, but a team on their heels and teetering on the edge of being swept coming into Poolside Park is surprising. None of the Pickers took a sweep. In fact, three of them have the series going fivegames. The odds of a Wicked Aces sweep are the second longest, set at 18:1. On his preview podcast Carl also has the series going the distance. Another statement made by Carl around the 6:50 mark of that recording hints at why we find ourselves in this situation.

"I give the offensive edge to El Diablos," Carl caves when measuring up the teams. It is a sound proclamation. Lollio and Tomlinson both hit well over .400 on the season; Skinner, LaDouceur, and Chandler all follow them above .300, and every Diablo playing this series also provided over 6 home runs and 30 RBI. They earned the reputation of being a murderers row, however, they have not been able to get any production out of their bats so far in this series. Chandler leads El Diablos with a .111 AVG, LaDouceur is second in line at an even .100. Three of the four Aces are hitting better than that: Evan Bischoff at .154, Austin at .200, and Crozier leading everybody with a comparatively impressive .250. To state it all too simply: that is the difference in this series.

El Diablos will tell you that missing Tomlinson's bat for the opening games hurt them a ton, and that can be said fairly. Tomlinson followed up his 2012 RotY season with an MVP candidate caliber season this year: .420 AVG, 41 RBI, 56 RS, and a staggering 1.428 OPS. Kyle is scheduled to suit up when action gets back underway on Monday, and what is more is that the shoe may now be on the other foot. The Aces will be without Crozier and his late inning heroics for the remainder of the series. In addition to his Championship Series leading average, Joel also has two game winning hits this postseason. His absence is now a hole that the Aces must find a way to fill as they look to close out the series.

One thing is certain. Come Monday the Commissioner's Cup will be raised in victory on the field for the first time ever. The question is, who will pick up their bats first to earn that honor: a repeat champion or the third team in as many years?

Launching Pads

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

There were 222 home runs hit in the 2013 season; 55 more than in 2012. The black bats did their job and brought the swagger back! There's more to it than just the hardware, though. Where those home runs came at brings just as much intrigue; especially with how frequently terms or phrases like "bandbox," "short porch," "Polo Grounds," "no man's land," "wind assisted," "impossible," "deep as shit," and "seriously, why would you build this?" get thrown around. Our use of home fields certainly lends a great deal of variation in style of play when it comes to the long ball - or small ball.

On the above chart, the gold bars show the total number of home runs hit at each field in 2013. The team colored section of each bar indicates the number of home runs hit by the home team. The eight fields that finished the year are included, as well as the two fields Westside and Belgian had to abandon midseason; these two are sequestered to the right hand side in the slightly darkened section. The parenthetical number below the field name notes how many games were played there during the 2013 season. So, the graph allows us to look at not only which fields were the most home run happy, but also which provided the best home field advantage.

Field	HR/G	H:V Ratio
Wiff-Hill	3.50	.04
Reservation	3.40	.48
Make-Believe	3.25	.77
Swamp	2.29	4.33
Pervis Mem.	1.71	7.00
Holy Grounds	1.58	.73
Island	1.57	.47
Poolside	1.00	9.00
Wiffle Iron	2.33	.08
Warriors Den	0	--

To no one's surprise - based on its 68' RF and 74' LF fence - the The Field of Make-Believe surrendered the most ding dongs in WSEM, 39. What might be slightly surprising, though, as seen in the table to the right, is that it ranks third in home runs allowed per game. Also regarded as a launching pad, The Reservation is second on both charts: giving up 34 HR, 3.4 per game. While short dimensions led to Make-Believe's high number, it was a steady stream of strong tailwinds that inflated the Reservations home run tally. In fact, 25 of its 34 HR given up came in just two series: when El Diablos and Holy Balls visited town.

Wiff-Hill Grounds only saw 8 games, yet still managed to give up 28 HR, fourth most in the league. This gives it the honor of edging out the Reservation for highest number of home runs per game, with 3.5. What's noteworthy here is how Wiff-Hill managed to play even smaller than its predecessor, the tiny Wiffle Iron, which itself gave up 14 HR in just 6 games.

On the other end of the spectrum, Poolside Park's 10 HR surrendered seems on the low side with the relatively short right field. Of course, you have to account for the Aces pitching staff in that number. You could also cite only 10 games played, however, Poolside still has the lowest HR/G: just 1.0. The next two stingiest fields are just 1/100th off in HR/G. They also both share a massive three-level backstop in center field. These near-twins, The Island and Holy Grounds, surprise nobody by being pitcher friendly parks: 90' lines, power alleys at 100+', and cavernous center fields.

Looking at the other number in the table, home-to-visitor HR ratio, and the colors on the bar graph, it is apparent that there is no real home field advantage when it comes to the power numbers. Five of the eight - or six of the nine - fields surrendered more than half of their dingers to visiting teams. Belgian's two fields were by far the most hospitable to guests, never bringing their selfish ratio above .08. The The Island and The Reservation are the next most guest-friendly environments. They both gave up just over 2 homes to visitors for every 1 hit by the home club. Holy Grounds and Make-Believe fair a little better, but still spot the journeymen about 1.5 HR for every 1 for the good guys.

Three fields truly claim the title "friendly confines" when it comes to the long ball, though. One of those is the The Swamp. Led by Pearson's bat, the Ducks hit 4.33 HR on their home turf for every one given up: 81% of the home runs came off the bats of the home team. That's not the best advantage, though. Pervis Memorial said adiós to 7 El Diablos long balls for every one by a visitor; giving the home colors a whopping 88% of the tally. Still not the best advantage. As mentioned earlier, Poolside Park gave up a total of 10 home runs on the year. All but one of those were hit by the Aces! So, 90% of the souvenirs kids took home were given out by the good guys. Both rare and classy.

There we have it: a bit of everything from one end to the other for all types of players and observers. A few launching pads for fans of the long ball, a couple death valleys for old-school fans of manufacturing runs, and just enough home cooking to get your fill. I guess there's only one thing left to do: ask the question on everyone's mind.

"Who would have won that game if we'd played it somewhere else?"

Fore!

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Coming your way this week is the start of the head-to-head race for the fourth and final playoff spot. At 15-9 with a magic number of three and four games to play against the seventh and eighth place teams, Holy Balls all but have the first wild card slot in their pocket - barring a complete and embarrassing choke job, of course. On the other hand, the second wild card slot is wide open. The Westside Warriors have a magic number of six and are three games ahead of the Ducks, which sounds like a nice cushion. However, four of both teams eight remaining games will be played against one another. Two weeks, two teams, two series, just one spot to fill.

On Sunday, the home stretch starts off with a sprint! Westside and the Ducks meet at 3 pm at the Swamp in Trenton as the start of a two series day for both teams. With increasing amount of interest, here are the situations the results could put us in: a Westside sweep pushes their magic number down to two; a split drops the magic number to four, while keeping the Ducks three games back; a Ducks sweep brings them to one game behind and, more importantly, keeps the elimination number at six with six games to play.

Those six games obviously include the back half of the head-to-head series. For the Ducks the other four games will all be played against King Friday. The Warriors have King Friday for two themselves, as well as two with the Wicked Aces down in Whiteford. That makes the non-H2H portion of the schedule tougher on Westside, but they do come in with a little breathing room. Below is a graphic that both sums up the position in which each team sits and gives us the chance for some nice fore and four(th playoff spot) wordplay:

Individual Awards Races: Offense

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Country Strong HR King Player HR GR Avg HR/G at fields Pearson 15 10 2.6 Hewlett 12 8 2.5 Castle 10 6 1.6 Tomlinson 10 4 1.1 LaDouceur 9 4 1.1 If Pearson does not win 2013 Country Strong Home-Run King, then something will have gone seriously sideways. He has every major advantage: a significant lead, the most games left to play, and the most home-run friendly set of fields on which to hit. Both the Reservation and Field of Make-Believe give up around 4 HR per game, and Pearson has two games at each. Hewlett also has four games left at Make-Believe, but he will have to do serious work to edge out Pearson. The same goes for Castle, whose best chances to stockpile late home-runs come at the Wiff-Hill Grounds and Island. Los dos Diablos are listed, but must have huge multi home-run games at the Island and Poolside to really be in the conversation.

Batting Champion Player AVG GR Avg WHIP of opp. Nagorski .500 10 2.11 Lollio .483 4 2.53 Bortmas .433 10 2.47 Tomlinson .437 4 2.53 Pearson .385 10 2.11 Unlike with HR King, more games remaining actually hurts batters when chasing average; each week the leaders seem to slip further down. Still, Nagorski might need every one of those to even be eligible to win. He is at 38 PA - so, not represented on the current league leaders - and will need 50 by season's end. If he gets the plate appearances in, he still has to outlast the rest of the pack while facing the stingiest gauntlet of pitchers. Lollio and Tomlinson have the benefit of playing out this race between themselves at their games, although, their final four games are a story of yin and yang at the Island and Poolside. Bortmas' biggest luxury is being able to enjoy home cooking for all ten of his remaining games; a couple of those should present a great opportunity to tee off.

Great Lakes Stealer Player SB GR Opp. CS% Castle 17 6 .04 Alexia 14 4 .21 Two horse race for the newest year-end award, one of whom is my preseason prediction. Alexia needs to make up ground, though, without many strides left to do so: 8 attempts at most. Can also add "while on bad footing" there, as his final series come against staffs with the two best caught-stealing percentages in WSEM. Castle is in good shape: a head start, 150% of the opportunities to pull away, and those come against staffs who only catch base thieves 1 out of 25 times. Belgian and the Balls play in week 14, so we may get the chance to see these two run wild for the steals title in a fun finish.

Walker Texas Ranger Player BB GR Avg WHIP of opp. Alexia 46 4 1.71 Sessions 44 6 1.67 Tomlinson 41 4 2.53 A race that can even make watching walks fun! Sessions and Alexia have been back and forth all season at the top of this board. Now, the Mayor finds himself two back, but with two games in hand. Both ranger-hopefuls have some stiff pitching staffs to face down the home stretch: Aces and Balls for both, and Sessions also gets El Diablos. Tomlinson is not far behind with games coming up against the Islanders and Aces, but you have to think Kyle is more focused on the two hitting awards he is in contention for than getting the badge.

Wild Cards

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

With six weeks left in the season four teams have a realistic shot at the two wild card slots. All four - Ducks, Balls, Friday, and Warriors - have recently signed new roster acquisitions that strengthen their lineups and/or rotations for a playoff push. Current leaders in the Wild Card race, Westside Warriors, have reactivated Sam Hatt who had a lower body injury at the start of the season. Both on the mound and at the plate, Sam's presence will be a "huge boost for the team!" as praised by Alex Shore. Holy Balls, who currently hold the second Wild Card slot, have seen their offense surge after the signings of David Castle and rookie Andrew Piasecki. Castle is hitting .600 with three doubles, a

Wild Card
TEAM	W	L	E#
Warriors	11	5
Holy Balls	10	6
King Friday	6	8	11
Ducks	6	8	11
Islanders	4	16	3
Belgian Wiffles	4	20	E

triple, and eleven runs scored since joining the Balls; in six games, Piasecki has three home runs, eleven RBI, is hitting .381 and slugging .810.

Not to be outgunned, the trailing teams have also bulked up. The Ducks signed a rookie of their own, hard-throwing lefty Phillip Morris (not to be confused with big tobacco, but who wants to bet we start calling him that?). In his first appearance he recorded every out by strike out, but was a little wild: walking 13, including two runs pushed across. Michael Sessions of the Islanders added, "Morris' debut was exceptional as he homered on his first at bat." Rumors of Morris being "the left-handed Pearson" seem like they could be true; good news for the Ducks if so. King Friday made the biggest splash of any midseason signings with the six-player trade between themselves and Belgian. Mark Brannan, Greg Brannan, and Jason Hollister add a second strong arm to the King's rotation and some much need power in their lineup. In their first series with the team, Greg hit .500 with four home runs, Hollister also got in on the home runs with one of his own, and Mark - while not getting out of the park - hit a cool .500 with seven runs scored.

The biggest moves seem to have already been made, but with the trade deadline half a week away (June 25th) there is still a chance one of these teams could make another move for the stretch run. With that in mind let us take a look at the obstacles and advantages presented to these four teams over the final five weeks of the season.

Strength of Schedule = (∑(# of games remaining vs. Team * winning % of Team) / # of games remaining) * 10   

	Current Position	Games Remaining	Strength of Schedule
	1st Wild Card	12	6.24
	Home:  DU,  HB,  WA Remaining Schedule Road:  DU,  KF,  WA
	Anyway you look at it, four games to play against the Wicked Aces is rough. The remainder of Westside's games all being against teams in the playoff hunt can go either way, depending on your level of optimism. On one hand it makes the road that much tougher, and losses to trailing teams give them twice the boost. However, wins coming in those series will beat those teams back with twice the impact. This is a tough road. Realistically, going 5-7 over this stretch of the schedule would be impressive, and that could be enough to secure a playoff berth with their current 3 game lead. Tiebreakers H2H: 2-0 vs. against KF, cannot give up the tiebreaker / 1 more win earns it;  0-2 vs. HB, cannot get the tiebreaker;  yet to play DU, up for grabs Diff: Sitting at +8:  5 ahead of DU and KF (+3),  32 behind HB (+40)

	Current Position	Games Remaining	Strength of Schedule
	2nd Wild Card	12	4.71
	Home:  DU Remaining Schedule Road:  BW,  IS,  KF,  WW,  WA
	Whereas Westside has 12 games remaining against playoff contenders, the Balls have just 8: 2 against Whiteford, and 2 against each team chasing the Wild Card. There are still some tough series in there, but what makes the Balls schedule a much safer path to the playoffs is that they close out the season with four games the against Islanders and a deflated Belgian team. Getting 7 wins over their final 12 games is not asking much. Another thing in the Balls' favor is their opportunistic standing with the tiebreakers. There is only one of the three head-to-head variety they can potentially lose; following that, they have a commanding lead in run differential over the other teams in the running. Tiebreakers H2H: 2-0 vs. KF and WW, cannot concede either / 1 more win earns either tiebreaker;  1-1 vs. DU, tiebreaker up for grabs Diff: Sitting at +40:  32 ahead of DU and KF (+3),  32 ahead of WW (+8)

	Current Position	Games Remaining	Strength of Schedule
	3 Games Back	14	6.00
	Home:  DU,  HB,  IS,  WW,  WA Remaining Schedule Road:  DU,  WA
	Friday's remaining schedule is essentially a mirror of Westside's, including two dangerous series against the Wicked Aces. The one difference is the two extra games left to play, which come at home against the Islanders. Holding no tiebreakers at the moment, Friday needs to play 3 games better than Balls and Warriors, while taking both games remaining against both teams to avoid conceding to them the head-to-head tie-breaker. In all likelihood, they need to get 9 or 10 wins in their final 14 games to clinch a playoff berth. It will not be easy, but the restocked Friday roster has the advantage desperation provides on their side. Tiebreakers H2H: 0-2 vs. HB and WW, cannot get either tiebreaker;  yet to play DU, up for grabs Diff: Sitting at +3:  tied with DU (+3),  5 behind WW (+8),  37 behind HB (+40)

	Current Position	Games Remaining	Strength of Schedule
	3 Games Back	14	6.37
	Home:  EL,  KF,  WW Remaining Schedule Road:  HB,  EL,  KF,  WW
	The Ducks are the only team in the Wild Card hunt who are done with the Wicked Aces. However, they are also the only team with games remaining against El Diablos. Call it a push. Like Friday they need to play 3 games above the leaders to have a shot at making the playoffs. But like Westside they face the hard track of having to accomplish that task against a schedule entirely of teams in a playoff push of their own. One possible reprieve for the Ducks is that the head-to-head tiebreaker between them and each potential Wild Card team is still wide open; this yields a slight edge over King Friday while coming from the trailing position. However, the fact their additional games come against Westside (instead of the Islanders, as in Friday's case) makes their schedule that much more difficult to accumulate those wins. Tiebreakers H2H: 1-1 vs. HB, tiebreaker is up for grabs;  yet to play KF or WW, both are up for grabs Diff: Sitting at +3:  tied with KF (+3),  5 behind WW (+8),  37 behind HB (+40)