Back to Third

		A Cup of Nick Coffee
		by Nick Coffee

I don’t want to say that if I was the 3rd base coach for every game at the NWLA tournament in 2013 that the WSEM Big Wood team would have done better. I don’t want to remind everyone that I was probably the main reason why we did so well in 2012. And I definitely don’t want to guarantee that we will do a lot better, if not WIN the whole tournament this year if I’m the 3rd base coach for the new team. Unfortunately, I am going to say all of those things.

When I heard that Carl and Galloway were starting up a tournament in 2012 for some of the marquee leagues in the NWLA to determine the best of the best, I was thrilled to go. Not because I thought I had a chance to play, but because I knew that I could hang out with awesome dudes and drink all weekend. It didn’t sound too different from what I was normally doing in my life at the time, but the difference was that I could be outside and watch some great competitive wiffle ball.

When it came time to go down to Ohio for the tournament, it was hard to focus on anything else besides my triumphant return to London for the coveted “Largest Slow-Pitch Wiffle Ball Tournament in Central Ohio”. I didn’t know how much fun or how successful the first attempt of the NWLA tournament could be. Besides the great food, the amazing fields and equipment, and the convenience of the hotel location (across the street) it was great to just hang out. There was a need for a third base coach and I took on that role. We had more than enough spectators for a coaching staff at the time. Not only did our team have a 3rd base coach, 1st base coach and manager, we also had bench coach, passed ball retriever and bullpen warmer-upper. We were very prepared.

Everyone knows by now that the first tournament was a success, all the teams that were there are now returning for their 3rd year in a row for this year’s tournament and our very own WSEM Big Wood took home 3rd place! I know I didn’t contribute too-too much in their winning, but I was always the guy the players looked at when they were up to bat. I let them know how many outs there were and I held up the count and let them know the situation. I was the first person to give them a high-five after a home run and I would hold them up at 3rd or wave them home if I knew they could make it. I did not make one bad call. I did grab someone rounding 3rd going home because I was afraid they would get thrown out. It was either Hatt or Bortmas, I couldn’t really tell those guys apart anyway.

The next year was different. All the teams had bigger and better expectations. They opened the tournament up to 13 teams (12 showed up) and they weren’t going to have their tournament around the London slow-pitch tourney. I had to choose whether or not to play in London and miss the entire first day of games. Ultimately, I did choose to play in London and acted as the captain of the WSEM SeMIs. We only won one game and it was a rotten experience. I coached 3rd base for the first game Sunday morning; we lost and Big Wood was out of the tournament. The rest of the day I got black-out drunk and don’t remember anything else.

This year will be different, I still plan on getting pretty drunk (not as much as last year), but I won’t be participating in the London tournament. Paquin is going to take over that responsibility and the best of luck to him and The Step Dads. I am taking 5 days off of work and flying up for a long weekend because I know how much fun I am going to have. Thursday night in downtown Columbus will be a hell of a time! Friday, I hope to scrimmage on the London fields during the day and enjoy an awesome dinner with all the teams across the country, as well as the watch all the great festivities that evening. Let the games begin on Saturday! I don’t want to promise that I will be the 3rd base coach for every game, but if I’m around and I’m somewhat sober, I’ll do it. I’ll be that first high-five after your home run, I’ll be the guy flashing the signs and giving the count, I’ll be your crying shoulder and I’ll be the best damn 3rd base coach the NWLA has ever seen. Good luck Dads of WSEM and sYa in Dublin!