Walk-up Music 2012: Vol. 1

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Walk-up themes! Mmmm, yeah! Let's get sexy! This year I am going to put these out in small doses, like a series of EPs throughout the year. Remember what the thought behind this is: first, an amusing anecdote about the player to hopefully get a chuckle, then - only as an accidental afterthought - the "cool" factor you would normally go for with a walk-up theme. Come to think of it, that's kind of the thought behind Wiffle all the time. Get excited, because here we go!


"I'll Tumble 4 Ya"  - Culture Club -  Jason Matt  -  Jason Mattseals



Jason is no stranger to laying out for pop flies, whether he's tracking back towards the wall or sprawling off the mound. And sometimes his eyes reach a little further than his arms, or body. Nevertheless, if he has any shot at the ball at all, Jason will tumble for ya!



"Ace is in the House"  - Tone Loc -  Mike Constanti  -  Flying Squirrels



Ever since his new captain gave him the number-one starter job with the Squirrels, reports have frequently come in of Mike traveling from club to club with an entourage that belts out "yo' ace is in the house" with each ever-more grandiose entrance. We don't expect a lowly boombox; we expect a DJ and full-on dance routine!



"Rollin' with Kid N' Play"  - Kid N' Play -  Josh Nagorski  -  Thunder Ducks



According to commissioner Coffee, Josh is a kid. According to his 2011 playoffs, Nagorski can play. He's willing to laugh off the former, especially if the low-light of the "kid" nickname can help prove the latter to his neasayers.



"Escape from Ohio"  - Electric Six -  Eric Pfefferle  -  Campus Commandos



Eric lives in Perrysburg, OH. Let's just say it; no ifs, ands, or buts... having us to get him the heck out of there is the best thing "Pfeiffer" has going on!



"I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)"  - Genesis -  BJ Hoppe  -  Wiffling DeLoppes



BJ comes to the park dressed for the big time: home white pants, road grey pants, always high-cuffed; the only way to wear your baseball pants. Sure, he could rock a song like "Sharp Dressed Man", but BJ's style is unique on the Wiffle diamond, and all you can say is, "he knows what he likes." Or that Petey G. fits better than the beards.

Two-fer Team Tuesdays: Double Ds - DeLoppes

by Mike Constanti I am here to bring you what I think are the hands-down favorites to win the 2012 WSEM championship, the most complete and well-balanced team in the league, the Wiffling DeLoppes. Last season this team came up short in the championship series against a very powerful Git r' Done team (now the Thunder Ducks). Chad Hoppe has his team ready to compete every series, and still has that nasty pitch that I dubbed "the broken zipper".

Joey DeLano at bat while 2011 RotY Nick Snow sizes up the pitcher. The DeLoppes powerful offense is led by the best player in the game: Joey DeLano. Check the record books if you challenge that claim. He has it all: wonderful hitter who can hit for power, has speed to burn and the best hands in the field. If you hit the ball in his direction, he will make double and triple plays happen all day long. Joey is not the only threat the DeLoppes possess, though; there are literally no weak spots in the batting order. From short-swinging Cliff Comstock and rookie sensation Nick Snow (who always puts the ball in play) to high OBP man BJ Hoppe, and, who I feel is the most underrated player in the league, Bobby Hoppe.

If you think that offense is tough, try hitting off Chad, Cliff, Bobby, or their closer Chuck McDonald. Yeah, the DeLoppes have a closer in the pen, and that helps make up best staff in Wiffleball. Not taking anything away from the Thunder Ducks with Pearson as their workhorse, but you will not see a stable of horses like the DeLoppes have. Cliff Comstock takes the mound at Frenchtown Field  -  BJ and Bobby Hoppe try to manufacture a run.

Their ballpark, Frenchtown Field, is well-suited to their style of play. Perfectly suited in fact. They play fast. With the new tag up rules in place, expect flames coming out of their asses rounding second and heading into third. I could go on and on about these guys, and with good reason: I believe this is their year. The DeLoppes are returning their complete roster, are only going to get better, and are built in a way to benefit from the new rule changes. I do not see anyone beating this team at all.

Two-fer Team Tuesday: Double Ds - Donkeys

by Adam G. The Donkeys are the Northwestern Wildcats of WSEM - purple notwithstanding. They are not the most talented team in the league, but have the ability to beat anyone at any time. They have a solid core of players that have played together and know each other, which is a good base. Joe Seto also welcomes a few veteran players to his core unit: Alex Shore and Maclin Ma…. I avoid typing his whole name due to each letter referring to how many games he will likely come to.

Joe Seto on the mound in front of former captain, your author, Adam G. We all know Alex Shore has the biggest mouth in the league. However, Joe Seto had the advantage of playing for Adam Grant last season, so he should have a basic knowledge for handling individuals who like to talk a lot on the field. The Donkeys could still provide the first scandal to hit WSEM, though. With Joe Seto being an avid photographer, it would not surprise me to see Seto taking pictures of Deloppes practices. Thus, adding New England Patriots of WSEM to their comparative monikers, if only in terms of questionable - yet artistic - tactics for game preparation.

Spagnuolo rips a shot down the RF line. On the field, the stats for Don Shaw and Joe "Spags" Spagnuolo from last season are nothing to brag about (.111/.182 AVG and .273/.345 OBP, respectively; 9 TB in 10 combined GP), but with a full season I expect both will improve on their stats. Alex Shore provides increased batting presence with his .417 AVG, .787 SLG, 12 HR, 100 TB and 39 RBI from 2011. If Joe Seto can finish the season like he began 2011 (.397 AVG, .828 SLG, and 8 HR through the first five weeks of the season), this could be the Miguel Cabrera/Prince Fielder batting order that the Donkeys have been trying to secure during the offseason.

My prediction: The Donkeys will end the season in the middle of the league, with a few upsets scored along the way. If Shore is able to regularly bring some of his Westside Warrior buddies into the lineup, such as Whelan or Myers, this team might even finish better than that. Seto offers only the following comment: What? No bold Commandos vs. Donkeys prediction?

Interview: Chad Hoppe

		Captains Corner
		with David Buhr

Chad Hoppe may not be feared like Dennis Pearson, however, he is a force to be reckoned with on the mound. Though Dennis may be the most feared, Chad is perhaps the most lethal. Finesse can often be underrated, leading people to believe a power pitcher is harder to hit, when in fact it's that perfectly placed breaking ball that buckles a player's knees-something Mr. Hoppe knows all too well. Chad seems to recognize that pitching is an art and is perhaps the most masterful artist in our Wiffleball league. He is who I would call the "Greg Maddux" of our league. The use of power pitching seemingly escapes Chad, but there is no need with his fine tuned arsenal. In fact, exaggerations abound when speaking of how many pitches this great artist can hurl. Also, beware of his "Benjamin Button" syndrome-and since he looks so much younger than he is, he can fool you by making you think he lacks the experience, but trust me, it's there.

Full Name: Chad Vincent Hoppe #61
Birthday: April 5
Height: .00113 Miles
Weight: .45 Carls

1. How did you come up with your team name?

When I started the team, there was just Joey (DeLano), my brothers, and me, so I combined our last names... and it stuck.

2. How many different pitches do you actually throw (I've heard as high as 15 but I don't know if that's an exaggeration or not)?

I throw about 9 different pitches... Well, I mean I have 9 different combinations of grip and arm slot angle... but who realy knows what a wiffleball is going to do? and that's why it seams that I throw more pitches.

3. Do you think the league will be more competitive this year or do you think that only a couple of teams will dominate the league?

Adding the rotation rule alone will make the league more competitive. Having a year of experience under the belts of many new players also will help.

4. Who do you think is the most underrated player on your team and why?

The guys on my team played in many games. They are proven. We don't have a team full of unknowns with unknown potential that played in a handful of games. But, if had to pick one, I'd go with Snow. He did have a good season, but he is much better than his numbers.

5. I heard that you were somewhat influential with the new pitching rule? Do you think it will help the league be more competitive? And as a pitcher yourself, how do you think it will affect you and your team?

My brothers and I suggested it. I answered the next question in #3, and we already used a rotation last year, so it won't affect our defense. On the other hand, it will have a positive effect on our offense, and other teams' offenses as well.

6. What was your favorite sport growing up?

I have always been a Tiger fan; so, baseball has always been my fave.

7. What was your favorite hobby?

I have been collecting baseball cards and memorabilia since I was little.

8. Did you ever have any cool or crazy nicknames? If so, any good stories behind any of them?

No, nothing cool or crazy, but in high school I went by "Marlin". Also, Choppy, Chadwick, Chadalack and just plain Hoppe have been thrown my way over the years.

9. Random question: Have you ever been told you look like anyone famous?

Boris Becker, Eric Stoltz, Kris Draper, The Heat Miser

10. How do you feel about all the trash talk that goes on? Is it healthy for the league? Is there too much of it? Should it be toned down? Or do you just sit back and enjoy seeing it happen?

You suck, your team sucks, you have no sportsmanship. We're gonna kick your butt, my team is the best, we're gonna repeat, you don't know what you're talking about, your field sucks, these rules suck... What's not to like about it?
Thanks David