 by Richard Hurd |
No one on the King Friday team has ever played a game of Wiffleball, nor would anyone with any prior experience be allowed to be. My sole purpose of joining the league is to dominate it with rookies. Everyone on the team is a fierce competitor and will only be happy with a playoff berth. A little about myself: Richard A. Hurd, captain of King Friday. I played eight years of organized baseball and softball, and made the all-star team all eight years. I also played three years of high school football and played varsity all three years. Taking a look at me you may find that hard to believe; I am a big guy and way out of shape, but I love to win and almost always find a way to do so. Beer pong has been my game for the last 3 years, as well as the game of most of the players on my team. I have won a large amount of money playing organized pong and have beaten some of the best players in the country. Playing pong is how I came to know Carl Coffee and in turn how I came to learn about this Wiffle league. It is hard to make predictions not having seen any of the teams in the league play, but myself and most of the players on the team have dominated every activity we have ever tried. So, if near the end of the season we do not at least still have a chance to make the playoffs, I would see the season as a complete failure. I would expect King Friday to have two or three players make the All-Star team. I do not know what the home run record is,1 but whatever it is it will not be the same after I am done. We are old-school ballers, we played ball when most of this league was still watching Teletubbies. We win no matter what it is. Wiffle Ball will be no different; King Friday will have 14-20 wins, depending on how quickly we get acclimated to the league. I would guess it will be to the higher end of that scale. I know only a few members of the league: Carl Coffee, Ryan Bullard, John Hill and Jason Matt. Having played beer pong against all of them, I can honestly say I am not at all worried about making the playoffs if they are any measure of the talent in WSEM! 1 The HR record is 17, set by Joey DeLano. |
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Team Tuesdays: King Friday
Off-season Training Regimens
 | Your Junk my Happy Zone | |
| by Brandon Corbett |
Everybody trains in the off-season. Okay, that is not true. Many of us probably have joined hippie colonies in order to avoid touching plastic since September. I did not touch a bat or ball until the couple days of pick-up games we have played. The off-season, for me, is the time to have the real fun with this game: make ridiculous side-project websites, do increasingly ridiculous podcasts, and let the crazy fly! The Wiffle community is crazy! Learn to love that! Still, some do take the down time to enhance their skills in the game: batting practice, pitching the snow pitching in a garage (it did not snow this year), running stairs, math and science. Then there are people who take training to a whole new level; techniques so advanced that you know they are poised to take over the league. The following are a few of those wonderful men.
Mike Merlo (P, Flying Squirrels) has the honored status of "old guy sturdy veteran" in WSEM. Fittingly, in accordance with the age-appropriate tendency to say things like, "in my day we used to walk up-hill both ways to and from school," Mike actually went through the expense and filed all the zoning paperwork to bring "his day" back today! What Merlo did was engineer a system that adjusts the altitude of both his home and workplace, changing the plane between them so that it can always be set to an incline. Genius! Nobody has told him, however, that since he drives to work he is not actually doing more work himself.
Josh Nagorski (OF, Thunder Ducks) wants to become a defensive star and perennial winner of one of the Diamond Digit awards. Nagorski also knew of the phrase "hot hand", so he devised a way to always ensure himself of having that hot hand: use ice cream to practice throwing. On one hand (no pun intended), digging into the bulk-size container of the frozen stuff and balling it up quickly improved his dexterity and "ball" control. He realized almost instantly, though, that even with the grip on the cold mass it was still too easy to hit a stationary target; he would need to find moving targets to simulate a game situation. It was on his next trip to the freezer section of the grocery store that he realized the perfect solution: train right there in the frozen foods aisle! With plenty of ice cream at hand and a steady stream of people passing by, Josh had an efficient means to hone his skills. Later, after being questioned by police - most likely to learn how to improve their softball squads - when the handcuffs were removed Josh realized the success of his training: his hands had never felt so hot!
New to the game of Wiffleball, Rich Hurd (C, King Friday) has been avidly watching as much tape on the sport as he can. His real irregular training began during his seventh watch-through of "The Bird: Give it to 'Em", WSEM's video highlighting pitchers, though. While trying to incorporate the styles he saw in the video into his beer pong game, Rich realized that not only was it getting him nowhere with Wiffle, but it was also negatively affecting his beer pong form. After finishing off the eighth, ninth and tenth cups, he took a break and scrolled through other "suggested videos" that might be of help. It was by accident that a Bars of Gold video was selected initially, being the band featured in "The Bird". However, that happy accident led Hurd down a trail of ever-more enticing videos about real bars of gold. Time-skip two months forward: Rich along with a cheeky local trail-guide and a Saigon whore are Indiana Jones-ing it up, trekking through jungles in search of the lost bars. Hurd's goal: well... nobody really knows how it relates to Wiffleball. But who cares?! He is going to be filthy rich! (No pun intended.) Besides, tangling with snakes, jungle cats, aborigines, and ancient booby traps is sure to hone skills relating to everything.
You may have seen this one on late night television alongside other famous infomercials, as it has become a championed training exercise. Joe Spagnuolo (OF, Donkeys) had an epiphany one night while looking forward to the 2012 Wiffle season: "if I can hit a brick, I can hit Dennis Pearson!"; the sort of advice that a bizarro Rip Torn might give. Taking heed to the sage advice, Joe promptly set a brick on a tee and started taking swing after increasingly aggressive swing with the plastic bat. Eventually, after a mere seventy-four hopelessly misshapen bats, Joe began to move the brick impressive distances away from the tee: eight, maybe nine feet! Spags knew he was onto something, but was it enough? Better to be safe than sorry, he evolved the setup: hit a swinging brick. Eighty-six snapped-in-half bats later he was connecting with enough force to break the string suspending the weight and flip it a few feet forward. He had done it. Joe knew he could now handle an 85 mph plastic ball, no problem. With that came the Spags Power Smash Swing, and infomercial stardom!
Mike Merlo (P, Flying Squirrels) has the honored status of "
Josh Nagorski (OF, Thunder Ducks) wants to become a defensive star and perennial winner of one of the Diamond Digit awards. Nagorski also knew of the phrase "hot hand", so he devised a way to always ensure himself of having that hot hand: use ice cream to practice throwing. On one hand (no pun intended), digging into the bulk-size container of the frozen stuff and balling it up quickly improved his dexterity and "ball" control. He realized almost instantly, though, that even with the grip on the cold mass it was still too easy to hit a stationary target; he would need to find moving targets to simulate a game situation. It was on his next trip to the freezer section of the grocery store that he realized the perfect solution: train right there in the frozen foods aisle! With plenty of ice cream at hand and a steady stream of people passing by, Josh had an efficient means to hone his skills. Later, after being questioned by police - most likely to learn how to improve their softball squads - when the handcuffs were removed Josh realized the success of his training: his hands had never felt so hot!New to the game of Wiffleball, Rich Hurd (C, King Friday) has been avidly watching as much tape on the sport as he can. His real irregular training began during his seventh watch-through of "The Bird: Give it to 'Em", WSEM's video highlighting pitchers, though. While trying to incorporate the styles he saw in the video into his beer pong game, Rich realized that not only was it getting him nowhere with Wiffle, but it was also negatively affecting his beer pong form. After finishing off the eighth, ninth and tenth cups, he took a break and scrolled through other "suggested videos" that might be of help. It was by accident that a Bars of Gold video was selected initially, being the band featured in "The Bird". However, that happy accident led Hurd down a trail of ever-more enticing videos about real bars of gold. Time-skip two months forward: Rich along with a cheeky local trail-guide and a Saigon whore are Indiana Jones-ing it up, trekking through jungles in search of the lost bars. Hurd's goal: well... nobody really knows how it relates to Wiffleball. But who cares?! He is going to be filthy rich! (No pun intended.) Besides, tangling with snakes, jungle cats, aborigines, and ancient booby traps is sure to hone skills relating to everything.You may have seen this one on late night television alongside other famous infomercials, as it has become a championed training exercise. Joe Spagnuolo (OF, Donkeys) had an epiphany one night while looking forward to the 2012 Wiffle season: "if I can hit a brick, I can hit Dennis Pearson!"; the sort of advice that a bizarro Rip Torn might give. Taking heed to the sage advice, Joe promptly set a brick on a tee and started taking swing after increasingly aggressive swing with the plastic bat. Eventually, after a mere seventy-four hopelessly misshapen bats, Joe began to move the brick impressive distances away from the tee: eight, maybe nine feet! Spags knew he was onto something, but was it enough? Better to be safe than sorry, he evolved the setup: hit a swinging brick. Eighty-six snapped-in-half bats later he was connecting with enough force to break the string suspending the weight and flip it a few feet forward. He had done it. Joe knew he could now handle an 85 mph plastic ball, no problem. With that came the Spags Power Smash Swing, and infomercial stardom!Interview: Alex Shore
 | Captains Corner | |
| with David Buhr |
He's competitive. He's talented. He's bold. He's brash. He's Alex Shore. That brashness is what I believe helped put WSEM on the NWLA radar. A sarcastic mouth, bold predictions and assumptions, and the numbers to back you up generate good stories. Alex quite possibly lives by the credo, "It's not bragging if it's true". Well, he certainly has the stats to prove himself. What can really be appreciated about Alex, however, is his passion, his drive to win, and his love for the game. He generates competition throughout the league which may be one of the best things for the league. It's sad that he'll only be able to play a couple of weeks this year before a season ending surgery. I'm sure he'll still show up to games and remain an active part of the league with Twitter. Now I present to you a humbler, though no less talkative, Alex Shore.
1. How did you come up with the Westside Warriors team name last year?
If my memory serves me correctly, Woods and I entered the Rally-around-the-flag-a-palooza tournament and decided we needed a team name. Ironically earlier that day we were talking about how cool the Brother Rice Warriors (my high schools rival) color scheme and logo is. We were the only team at the time from Oakland County and ironically the only team on the west side of metro-Detroit, so thus the Westside Warriors were formed.
2. Now that the Warriors have been disbanded, how do you think you and your new team will fare in the league this year?
This is only a one-season thing. The warrior crew will be back. This is just the best way for the guys to stay active while I’m out for the season. Hopefully depending on how successful the season is, Joe and his guys, will become warriors if they need a team.
3. Between Austin Bischoff and Dennis Pearson, who do you think is better? Do you think you're better than either of them?
I respect both of these players' vast amounts. If I had to choose the better amongst the two, it would be Bischoff. My sole reasoning is that Dennis has had multiple years in WSEM and has grown into an equal player to the current Bischoff. Austin Bischoff is a rookie who still has much room for improvement, given that he will become more acquainted with the game and the league. My prediction is that after this season, Bischoff will emerge into the most dominant two-way player in the history of WSEM. Furthermore, I do not see myself superior to either of these ball players.
4. What team do you think has the most legitimate shot at winning it all this year? Do you think it'll be a repeat or will the Ducks be shot down?
In my “Science of Power Rankings” article I gave a pretty in-depth description on why the DeLoppes will run away with this title. The Ducks will NOT repeat, as a matter of fact they might not even COMPETE. Lewis was a huge addition but as we saw in September, that addition has messed up the Ducks team chemistry. If Dennis is only a threat for two to three innings on average, this team is very beatable for two reasons. First, they are far from great defensively, and second, the Ducks had a huge amount of close 1 to 2 run games that they had won in extra innings last season with Dennis pitching the whole day. Not enough depth here to win it all this year.
5. What was your favorite sport growing up?
Hockey. Always has been, always will be.
6. Did you have a favorite hobby?
Travel Baseball Umpiring
7. Did you ever have any awesome or unusual nicknames?
Shore, Jersey, A-train
8. What are your thoughts on the new pitching rule? Which team do you think will benefit the most from it? Which team do you think it might hurt the most?
I absolutely love the new pitching rule. It challenges depth and pure talent of your team as a whole. Great rule all around. The team that will benefit the most is the Deloppes considering they have already played with this rule for an entire year. Obviously enough, the team that will hurt the most is the Ducks.
9. Where do you think the biggest rivalry will lie this year?
Ducks vs WWA : It’s like a Crosby (Dennis) vs. Ovechkin (Bischoff) rivalry in '09.
10. You've kind of been the catalyst for the trash talk around the league. Do you think that it's been healthy for the league? Do you think some take it too far? Is it fair to say that you'll probably never stop with it?
I have an extensive hockey background. Playing for almost my whole life competitively, trash talking is a part of the game. As an umpire for travel baseball for nearly seven years, trash talking exists everywhere. For example “swing batter batter”, “this guy can't hit” and even coaches and parents blatantly firing their teams up while shouting negative attributes about other teams. This ties into WSEM because talking makes the game fun. This is a competitive league and trash talking is a part of competitive nature. Obviously, no one is trying to clear benches or anything, but if you can't handle some trash talk, go play softball in your local rec league. Do you think professional athletes go home and cry about what people say? The obvious answer here is "no", they speak with actions and shut people up. As far as taking something too far is concerned: once the talk gets personal and degrading, such as Michael Constanti’s article about me, I would then draw the line as too far. As long as the talk remains baseball oriented, it's "no harm no foul" to me. Lastly, I (nor the entire league for that matter) will not stop with the trash talking. It's fun and allows you to express some emotion towards our league. If you can’t handle some fun trash, I hear there are plenty of golf leagues in the Detroit area to join over the summer.
| Name: | Alexander Michael Shore |
| DOB: | 01/07/1993 |
| Height: | 182.88 cm |
| Weight: | 72.7 Kg |
1. How did you come up with the Westside Warriors team name last year?
If my memory serves me correctly, Woods and I entered the Rally-around-the-flag-a-palooza tournament and decided we needed a team name. Ironically earlier that day we were talking about how cool the Brother Rice Warriors (my high schools rival) color scheme and logo is. We were the only team at the time from Oakland County and ironically the only team on the west side of metro-Detroit, so thus the Westside Warriors were formed.
2. Now that the Warriors have been disbanded, how do you think you and your new team will fare in the league this year?
This is only a one-season thing. The warrior crew will be back. This is just the best way for the guys to stay active while I’m out for the season. Hopefully depending on how successful the season is, Joe and his guys, will become warriors if they need a team.
3. Between Austin Bischoff and Dennis Pearson, who do you think is better? Do you think you're better than either of them?
I respect both of these players' vast amounts. If I had to choose the better amongst the two, it would be Bischoff. My sole reasoning is that Dennis has had multiple years in WSEM and has grown into an equal player to the current Bischoff. Austin Bischoff is a rookie who still has much room for improvement, given that he will become more acquainted with the game and the league. My prediction is that after this season, Bischoff will emerge into the most dominant two-way player in the history of WSEM. Furthermore, I do not see myself superior to either of these ball players.
4. What team do you think has the most legitimate shot at winning it all this year? Do you think it'll be a repeat or will the Ducks be shot down?
In my “Science of Power Rankings” article I gave a pretty in-depth description on why the DeLoppes will run away with this title. The Ducks will NOT repeat, as a matter of fact they might not even COMPETE. Lewis was a huge addition but as we saw in September, that addition has messed up the Ducks team chemistry. If Dennis is only a threat for two to three innings on average, this team is very beatable for two reasons. First, they are far from great defensively, and second, the Ducks had a huge amount of close 1 to 2 run games that they had won in extra innings last season with Dennis pitching the whole day. Not enough depth here to win it all this year.
5. What was your favorite sport growing up?
Hockey. Always has been, always will be.
6. Did you have a favorite hobby?
Travel Baseball Umpiring
7. Did you ever have any awesome or unusual nicknames?
Shore, Jersey, A-train
8. What are your thoughts on the new pitching rule? Which team do you think will benefit the most from it? Which team do you think it might hurt the most?
I absolutely love the new pitching rule. It challenges depth and pure talent of your team as a whole. Great rule all around. The team that will benefit the most is the Deloppes considering they have already played with this rule for an entire year. Obviously enough, the team that will hurt the most is the Ducks.
9. Where do you think the biggest rivalry will lie this year?
Ducks vs WWA : It’s like a Crosby (Dennis) vs. Ovechkin (Bischoff) rivalry in '09.
10. You've kind of been the catalyst for the trash talk around the league. Do you think that it's been healthy for the league? Do you think some take it too far? Is it fair to say that you'll probably never stop with it?
I have an extensive hockey background. Playing for almost my whole life competitively, trash talking is a part of the game. As an umpire for travel baseball for nearly seven years, trash talking exists everywhere. For example “swing batter batter”, “this guy can't hit” and even coaches and parents blatantly firing their teams up while shouting negative attributes about other teams. This ties into WSEM because talking makes the game fun. This is a competitive league and trash talking is a part of competitive nature. Obviously, no one is trying to clear benches or anything, but if you can't handle some trash talk, go play softball in your local rec league. Do you think professional athletes go home and cry about what people say? The obvious answer here is "no", they speak with actions and shut people up. As far as taking something too far is concerned: once the talk gets personal and degrading, such as Michael Constanti’s article about me, I would then draw the line as too far. As long as the talk remains baseball oriented, it's "no harm no foul" to me. Lastly, I (nor the entire league for that matter) will not stop with the trash talking. It's fun and allows you to express some emotion towards our league. If you can’t handle some fun trash, I hear there are plenty of golf leagues in the Detroit area to join over the summer.
Team Tuesdays: Thunder Ducks
 by Carl Coffee |
| The Thunder Ducks return for their second season with a new team name, new team colors, a new home field, and a new number-two pitcher. Last season, as Git R’ Done, they finished 23-5 in the regular season, which earned them the #1 seed. Then, in the playoffs, they went 9-1 en route to the first ever WSEM Championship. Overall this team finished 32-6, which is absolutely astounding. So, with all that success last season, will the Thunder Ducks keep their winning ways, or will they be victims of a sophomore slump? I will not be making any predictions here, but I will showcase this talented young team. The Thunder Ducks are WSEM veterans; they first came onto the scene in the 2009 Fast Pitch Tournament as young rookies who went 0-2 and did not make much of an impression. They then shocked everyone by finishing second place in the 2010 Flag-a-Palooza. As a prelude to the WSEM championship last year, they also won the Spring Wind Up Tournament in dominant fashion. The Thunder Ducks shared Frenchtown Field last season with the Wiffling DeLoppes, but this season they will have a new home, The Swamp. We do not know much about this field yet, except for its location, which is in Waltz. Also, by the looks of the satellite view, The Swamp will have a lot of open space, so it will be up to the Thunder Ducks to make it either a hitters field or a pitchers field.  Besides Tim Dale, who moved to Florida, the Thunder Ducks return everyone from last season. Gaige Braden, who only played four games in 2011, looks to play a much bigger role this season. He adds speed and defensive quickness to a team who struggles in those departments. Zach Crabtree and Josh Roberts were also part-timers last season who hope to play a bigger role in 2012. In eight games Crabtree had 16 hits and batted .308. In just five games Roberts batted .400 and had a very impressive .649 OBP. Nick and Dylan Braden both had excellent 2011 seasons. Nick batted .358 with three HRs, while Dylan batted .340 with 9 HRs. Dylan’s successful 2011 campaign earned him a well-deserved All-Star nod. The Braden brothers also made an impact on the mound. Nick finished the season 3-0 with a 0.64 ERA, and Dylan finished 5-0 with a 3.30 ERA. Josh Nagorski did not make much of an impact in the 2011 regular season, but he sure made a splash in the playoffs. Nagorski hopes to ride his playoff success into the 2012 season.Even with everyone but Dale returning, the Ducks still wanted to get better, and did so by adding another arm to their already strong rotation. They not only added a veteran pitcher, they added All-Star veteran pitcher, Chris Lewis. Pitching for the Belgian Wiffles in 2011, Lewis went 9-9 with a 2.61 ERA and had 177 strike outs. He will now be the number-two pitcher on the Ducks, while also bringing a .259 AVG and 5 HR offensively. Last and certainly not least, captain Dennis Pearson is returning hungry for a second title. Pearson was dominating last season, both on the mound and at the plate. His pitching greatness earned him both an All-Star nod and the Clown Shu award, as well as the NWLA Strike-out King honor. He went 14-4 with a 1.30 ERA and recorded 233 strike outs. At the plate Dennis was second in the league in HRs with 15, and led the league in RBIs with 55. Dennis was just as dominant in the playoffs, where he finished with 5 HRs, a 6-0 record, 0.10 ERA, and 144 strike outs in ten games played. |
 With all of this talent on the team, and with the new rotation rule, Dennis has some real managing to do. He will only be able to pitch 14 games max during the season, but with Lewis and the Braden brothers, he can get creative in the other games. I am curious to see if this team will mesh as well as least season. Their identity has always been power, both on the mound and at the plate. With Lewis as more of a contact pitcher, the Ducks will have to change that identity every other game. The Ducks will be a fun team to watch in 2012, and it should be a tight race between them and the DeLoppes for the Garcia Division title. I am also very excited to see their rivalry games against the Whiteford Wicked Aces. With the target on their backs as league champions it will not be easy for the Thunder Ducks to keep that trophy; so, enjoy it while you can! |
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