Showing posts with label Alex Shore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alex Shore. Show all posts

Hashtag #Friends

by Jason Hollister

When I joined WSEM, I never could have imagined that I would meet some of my best #friends. While playing competitive Wiffle Ball is fun, the real fun comes in the times shared with some of the greatest people on Earth. People around the league, and around the community are always asking me “Hollyweird, who are your top 5 best #friends in the league?!” I usually respond with “Who are you!?” or “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Well Wiffle-Nation, I am here to answer that age old question in a little article I like to call “Hashtag #Friends.”

5. Jason Louise Matt
As many of you know, during Jason’s stint at Meijer, he recruited me to join a “semi-pro” Wiffle Ball league. I will never in my life forget Jason Matt because he introduced me to a life changing league. But, what many of you do not know is that Jason Matt is actually the father of my child. Back in 2009 Jason Matt and myself were hanging out at a club and we met 2 attractive young ladies. They both seemed very disinterested in me and were all about Jason’s red beard. I pulled Jason over to the side and let him know that I would really like to have a child with the Amazon looking one, because I couldn’t get over her amazing bone structure. Without hesitation, Jason told me “Don’t worry man, I’ll take care of it.” 2 years after conception, my first born child was born and I have Jason Matt to thank for that. However, I had to give the child up for adoption because I had noticed violent tendencies in him. This was directly confirmed to be genetic after Jason Matt’s recent run in with the Seattle Police.

4. Nate Alexandria Motta
Many of you will wonder who exactly Nate Motta is, but if you didn’t know, your ass better call somebody. When playing against Onanism, you may see a shoeless Wiffle Ball player with above average looks, but when you get to actually know Nate you will find he has a story so profound you will want to cry. After our games against Onanism I had a chance to talk to Nate. I was asking all the right questions, and I could see he was holding back. When we hugged before we left, he started to sob up and shake a little. I immediately asked him what was wrong and he told me, “That was the first hug I ever received in my life.” Without knowing how to respond I started to cry and he opened up to me like never before. When Nate was a child, his mother and father left him to survive on his own from birth and he was raised in the wilderness by a pack of wild turkeys. Nate never had human contact until Kiefer asked him to join his Wiffle Ball team this year. Ever since this occurance, Nate and I have been going on “hug-dates” where we just hang out and hug a lot in public. So if you play Onanism, be sure to give Nate Motta a nice hug… you will never know how much it means to him.

3. Alexander Ramona Shore
Many of you actually do know Alex, and probably are not surprised that he is on my top 5 #friends list. Last year I faced Alex a few times and always thought he was a pretty cool guy, but not really someone I would consider a friend. My entire view changed on Alex after we were both at the same pizza parlor the night of November 2, 2013. I was just ordering a slice of pizza when I looked over both my left and right shoulder and happened to see Alex Shore surrounded by 10 females, that when added up from a scale of 1-10 in attractiveness, were somewhere around 96.8. I walked over nervously to Alex being fed pizza by these women, and said hello. After talking extensively to Alex and the women, he asked if I wanted to go back to his grandma’s house for a party with us 12. I agreed, of course. Alex packed us all into his BMW and we made the 6 hour journey to Grandma Shore’s house. After a wild night of partying and crying, Alex and I called a cab for the women and went into the bedroom for the night. It was that night of card playing, Instagram picture taking, and prank calling that Alex and I became very close and now we see each other at least 4 times a week.

2. Dave Miranda Buhr
First thing’s first, Dave Buhr is not just an “I’ve been thinking about all the prime numbers for a week straight” Facebook status kind of guy. Dave Buhr is an intelligent and thrilling person to be around. Dave was my first ever captain and from that bond we created something very special. The night that started it all began last year after a Belgian win over Whiteford. Dave told me that he was on such a high from the victory that he didn’t want the night to end. “I just finished Breaking Bad and you know what? I think tonight is the night I try crystal meth.” Not surprised in the least bit about this desire, I agreed to hang out and do some meth that night with Dave. After calling his meth dealing friend, Dave and myself went downtown to visit old Tiger Stadium to try to relive some of the past. We enacted every season from 1910 through 1982 that night before we saw some people trying to steal from the park. Dave and I approached the people to ask what they were doing, and one of them promptly grabbed me and pointed a gun at my head. Within seconds of this occurring, Dave pulled out his newly acquired iPhone, opened up the smart piano app, and started playing and singing a song so breathtaking, the bandits decided to release me. Dave Buhr, you saved my life and I will always love you for that.

1. Jordan Michele Wagner
Jordan is the 6th, and lesser known member of El Diablos, and he is my best friend. Jordan and I first met the summer of 1998 when we attended “St. Peters Catholic Camp for Young Boys” and ever since then we have enjoyed a friendship that I wouldn’t trade for front row tickets to Bruno Mars. My fondest memory of Jordan was the day the article was published on this very website about my addiction to being a clown prostitute. Upon hearing the news, Jordan rushed over to my house where he found me in a red wig crying downstairs. This was the lowest point in my life now that I was exposed to the entire world and Jordan was there for me every step of the way. Jordan and I went to counseling that very day and still continue to go to counseling today. Jordan you are my rock, you are my stability in an unstable world. I love you man.

What to Watch for in 2013

  by  Alex Shore

Stealing, black bats, and good-looking people are among some of the things that will make their presence known in 2013. Given that MLB pitchers and catchers reported to training camp this morning, I thought I would actually acknowledge my duties as WSEM players representative, report to my couch, and write a player based article. This season the league is down to eight teams, with lots of realignment within existing and rookie organizations. I will examine each team and give you my opinion on their pros and cons. Thus, without further delay, let's begin with the Garcia division.


The reigning Garcia champion Ducks are the staple team in this division. What to watch for: Dennis Pearson, Dylan Braden and Michael Constanti. Cons: Now, last year I was onto something when I said Lewis would throw off the team chemistry, and now, I see the same out of Constanti disrupting the team chemistry. Bottom Line: Watch out for Dennis' and Dylan’s batting, (Remember these kids could crush the ball at one point, and now we give them a bigger bat?) and Constanti’s pitching help. They are shaky in their lack of depth, though, and that is alarming. Dennis and Mike could be relied on heavily, and I really don’t see any other options for this team.

The Belgian Wiffles are next up. What to watch for: yet another plethora of rookies brought to you by David Buhr. Cons: Do they even have a pitcher? Bottom Line: Look for a team here that I predict will have a rebuilding type year, considering half of last year's Belgian Wiffles went on to form another team.

That team would be El Diablos. What to watch for: Explosive young talent. Chandler Phillips, Kyle Tomlinson (2012 ROTY), and Craig Skinner took the league by storm last year and played very well for the Belgian wiffles. Cons: They struggled a bit at the plate last year. Bottom Line: If they hit better and pitch as well, I can see a top four team here.

The last team in the Garcia is the Islanders. What to watch for: A new team with some old faces, and a potentially deadly lineup. Linebrink signed Ryan Bullard, Jason Hewlett and Joe Seto, all of these players have been around the game and have proven themselves. Cons: Gotta step it up at the plate if they want to stay alive this season.


Moving onto the Ringler Division, I’ll start with the champs: the Whiteford Wicked Aces. What to watch for: Austin Bischoff, Joel Crozier, and Evan Bortmas?!!? That’s a powerful team. Cons: Do you see any? I don’t. Bottom Line: They are a force and, in my opinion, are this years “team to beat.” This team is completely well rounded.

Next up on the list are the returning Westside Warriors. What to watch for: some upgraded uniforms, new rookies, and returning veteran players. Cons: With the loss of Sam Hatt, pitching is thin. The Warriors need someone to step up and become a solid number three option. Bottom Line: This team can be deadly with the old Maclin Malloy, new Kiefer Haffey, and the bats of Shore and Greg Voutsos, not to mention the return of Nick Woods.

Next up is King Friday. What to watch for: Two Coffees, a Matt Murtha sighting, and Adam Cosby. The cons: This team needs someone to step up on the batting end. Bottom Line: It's nice to see King Friday upgrade, look for a better season out of this team than last years King Friday squad.

The last team up is Holy Balls. What to watch for: A group of WSEM veterans that can always take a game or two away from you at any time. Cons: A need for rookie players and pitching depth. Bottom Line: This team can make a run at the playoffs and are the potential surprise squad out of this season.
Fans everywhere enjoy a good friendly, everyone enjoys giving into a good fantasy, and everyone loves the Fall - just too bad there isn't much Wiffle going on. Ah-ha! (Take on Me) That's where the the friendly and fantasy can come across even stronger. Four teams of five have been arbitrarily selected to compete and entertain us over the slow months. To determine the outcome of each at-bat a random number generator from 1 to 1000 is used. Each player's number ranges are different: their AVG and OBP are multiplied by the opposing pitcher's WHIP to set the ranges for hits and walks; from there a player's percentage of singles, doubles, triples, and home runs are spread over their "hit range": singles start at 1, home runs end at the highest number in the hit range. Walks follow above hits, and a pitcher's number of strikeouts in the 2012 season set the strikeout range after walks. Every number above that is an out made in the field: numbers closer to 1000 are fly outs, while lower numbers are ground outs. Depending on the situation sacrifice flies, advancing runners, peg outs, and double plays also come into play. You'll see that strikeouts and walks are disproportional to a real game, and that just adds to the entertainment! Let's just say everyone agreed to play these friendlies mid-pitch.


Game 5: Risers (0-2)  VS.  Cheese (1-1)


- The Risers got the offense started last game (to the tune of 15 runs), but still couldn't get the win. They again choose to change things up, this time going with a "feel" thing in addition to just going by the numbers. Tomlinson says he hits best at fourth in the order, and he is .300 with 3 R but no RBI or HR, so he is moving down to the four slot. Constanti, Seto, and Mushinski are all coming off big games (4-6, HR, 4 RBI ; 2-4, HR, 5 RBI; 3-5, 2 HR, 5 RBI - respectively) and will move up to the one through three slots. Franzen, struggling in the fall (.143 AVG), bats fifth. Constanti (0-1, 5.00 ERA) takes the mound for his second start.

- Confident in their lineup's performance, the Cheese make just one switch with Cosby (0-1, 7.00 ERA) taking the mound for the second time. Cosby, hitting .444 and coming off a 2-4 game with a HR, will switch to the third slot with Lewis (.333 AVG) taking over the fifth. They have put up 15 runs in 2 games. Led by Crozier (.636 AVG, 5 R) at the top of the order with Pfefferle bringing them home (.444 AVG, 6 RBI).

Top 1st -
Cosby starts out strong getting two easy groundouts and a lazy pop fly to Crozier in center.

Bot 1st -
Constanti matches with a sound start of his own: a slow-roller and soft line drive to Franzen in right, and a pop up to Seto in left. Pitchers on their game, no baserunners after one.

Top 2nd -
Cosby starts out the second looking to continue dominance. He strikes out Tomlinson, then gets Franzen to roll over on a pitch for an easy out by Shore in left. Constanti then gets to him with a sharp single to center, and Seto follows by pushing a ball behind Pfefferle down the right field line for an RBI triple. Mushinski then flies out to left to end the inning. One run in.

Bot 2nd -
Constanti runs with his team's 1-0 lead, three-up/three-down in similar fashion to the first: two pop outs, and a roller back to the mound. Risers take a 1-0 lead to the third.

Top 3rd -
Tomlinson leads off with a single to left; Franzen hits into a fielder's choice and trades places with him. Constanti steps to the plate and helps out his cause, blasting a 3-0 inside slider over the left field fence. Cosby responds by striking out Seto on three pitches. Mushinski slaps a seeing eye single into right, then Cosby Ks up Tomlinson for the second time to end the inning. 3 strike outs on the day, but 3 runs also for the Risers.

Bot 3rd -
Constanti keeps pitching to contact, and keeps getting outs. Shore and Cosby both fly out to Tomlinson in center to start the inning. Back-to-back walks to Pfefferle and Lewis follow, before Crozier gets underneath yet another ball for a pop fly to Seto in left. Out. 3-0 lead for the Risers heading to the fourth.

Top 4th -
Cosby comes through for his team with a blank inning. Soft line out and a grounder back to the mound start the inning; Seto then ropes a two-out single to left, but gets stranded as Mushinski grounds out to Pfefferle right.

Bot 4th -
Cheese need runs, and Shore answers the bell by leading off with a triple that runs along the wall in right-center. He scores immediately on a ground ball out by Cosby. They add a walk later in the inning, but are unable to get anymore going with two lazy fly outs. Cheese close the gap to 3-1 with three outs left.

Top 5th -
Cosby starts finishing off the game strong with two ground outs. Constanti then draws a walk and Seto singles to right, before Mushinski lines out to Tomlinson in center. Cheese need 2 runs, last call!

Bot 5th -
Shore fouls off a few pitches leading off, then turns on a strike, but hits it right at Franzen in right. One down. Cosby fights off a close, tight first pitch, but squibs it right back to the mound for out number two. Constanti stays with the inside pitch against Pfefferle and gets him to roll over one to Seto in left, relayed quickly to the circle for the final out. Risers end their Fall season with their first win, 3-1 over the Cheese!


1 2 3 4 5 R H
0 1 2 0 0 3 7
0 0 0 1 0 1 1


Risers  (1-2)Cheese  (1-2)
      OFFENSE      OFFENSE
Constanti2-4, HR, BB, 2 RBI, 2 R Crozier0-4
Seto3-5, 3B, RBI Shore1-3, 3B, R
Mushinski1-5 Cosby0-4, RBI
Tomlinson1-4 Pfefferle0-3, BB
Franzen0-4, R Lewis0-1, 2 BB
      PITCHING      PITCHING
Constanti 1 R, 1 H, 3 BBCosby 3 R, 7 H, 1 HR, 1 BB, 3 K


Standings
W L +/-
2 0 +3
1 1 -2
1 2 -1
1 2 0
The MVP of this game is an easy pick. Mike Constanti went 2-4 with a HR and had a hand in each run scored for the Risers in their first win of the Fall. He also nearly shut down the Cheese offense completely. The Risers' lineup moves paid off, with Joe Seto and Constanti providing a great one-two punch at the top of the order. It seems like nothing the Cheese could have done would have affect the result; Constanti was straight dealing on the mound. Shore gets a big nod for coming through late with a hustling triple in a huge spot to spark a run and late life for the Cheese. This was a vintage Wiffle game (without the Ks): low scoring with timely hitting deciding the day.

The Risers' win locks them into a third place finish. A 12 2 6 Curves (1-1) win over the Sinkers (2-0) has them both finish 2-1 to claim the first and second spots, respectively. The Risers would claim third over the Cheese with the head-to-head victory. A Sinkers win over the Curves grants them a perfect 3-0 first-place finish, while three teams finish 1-2, which would cause the head-to-head tiebreaker to be thrown out. Run differential would then decide the final placing. In such a scenario the Cheese are in top position at an even 0, the Risers again place third with a -1, and the Curves finish fourth going into their final game with a -2.

The finer points going into the final game: Whoever wins, Sinkers or Curves, is the Fall Champion. If Sinkers win: 2nd place is Cheese, 3rd is Risers, and 4th is Curves. If Curves win: 2nd place is Sinkers, 3rd is Risers, and 4th is Cheese.
Fans everywhere enjoy a good friendly, everyone enjoys giving into a good fantasy, and everyone loves the Fall - just too bad there isn't much Wiffle going on. Ah-ha! (Take on Me) That's where the the friendly and fantasy can come across even stronger. Four teams of five have been arbitrarily selected to compete and entertain us over the slow months. To determine the outcome of each at-bat a random number generator from 1 to 1000 is used. Each player's number ranges are different: their AVG and OBP are multiplied by the opposing pitcher's WHIP to set the ranges for hits and walks; from there a player's percentage of singles, doubles, triples, and home runs are spread over their "hit range": singles start at 1, home runs end at the highest number in the hit range. Walks follow above hits, and a pitcher's number of strikeouts in the 2012 season set the strikeout range after walks. Every number above that is an out made in the field: numbers closer to 1000 are fly outs, while lower numbers are ground outs. Depending on the situation sacrifice flies, advancing runners, peg outs, and double plays also come into play. You'll see that strikeouts and walks are disproportional to a real game, and that just adds to the entertainment! Let's just say everyone agreed to play these friendlies mid-pitch.


Game 4: Cheese (0-1)  VS.  12 2 6 Curves (1-0)


- Following their 7-6 defeat in Game 1, the Cheese make a few lineup shifts to get the most out of their offense. Crozier (2-4, BB) bumps up to the lead off spot, followed by Shore (1-5) who brings a lot of extra base power. Lewis (2-4) takes over the three-hole, with Pfefferle (2-4, HR) backing him up, and Cosby rounding out the order. Lewis gets the start.

- The 12 2 6 Curves make only one change in their lineup: bumping Buhr (2-3, 2 BB) up to the two spot. Evan Bischoff (3-6, 2 2B) stays at lead off, and Nagorski (3-6, HR) moves down to third in the order to put him in position to best do damage with another home run. Hewlett and Coffman remain in the four and five slots. Hewlett is on the mound.

Top 1st -
Crozier leads off the game with a shot into left-center for a single. Shore just misses on a 3-1 pitch, flying out to Buhr in right. Lewis puts a ball on the ground to Bischoff in left, who gets the ball to the circle for the out at first; Crozier safe at second, two outs. Pfefferle draws a walk, then Cosby rolls over a pitch and grounds out to left.

Bot 1st -
Bischoff starts things off for the Curves with a line drive directly at Shore in left for out number one. Buhr then puts a ball on the ground the other way, but Cosby charges and flips to the pitcher in time for the second out. A routine ground ball out off the bat of Nagorski ends the inning. 0-0 after one.


Cheese scoresheet
Top 2nd -
Hewlett makes quick work of the Cheese in the second, throwing just 8 pitches. Crozier grounds out to Bischoff in left on the second pitch he sees, Shore sees three pitches and drives a single to right, Lewis then pops up the first pitch back to the mound, and Pfefferle fouls off a good first pitch then hits a high fly to Nagorski in center to end the inning.

Bot 2nd -
Hewlett draws a walk to start the inning, then Coffman pops out behind the pitcher's circle. Bischoff hits another ball hard to left, this time for a single; runners on first and second. Buhr puts a ball on the ground to left-center, Crozier charges to his right and makes the throw to the circle for the out at third. Nagorski puts a ball down the left-field line, Shore gets to it in time to hold him to a single and Buhr at second. However, Bischoff scores from second. Hewlett then walks for the second time in the inning, loading the bases. Coffman puts the ball in play, and Cosby makes the catch in right to retire the side. Curves take a 1-0 lead after two.

Top 3rd -
The Curves run wakes up the Cheese offense, and fiercely! After a Cosby ground out, Crozier singles to center, Shore and Lewis draw walks to load the bases, then Pfefferle ropes a single into right-center that scores Crozier and Shore from second. Cosby walks to load the bases for the top of the order, and Crozier drops a single between Nagorski and Buhr to score Lewis; bases remain loaded. Shore works the count, fouls off four tough pitches, and eventually draws his second walk of the inning; this one pushing Pfefferle across the plate. Lewis follows slapping the ball into right field, Bischoff whips his throw to the circle in time to get Cosby at home; two out. Pfefferle connects on a high pitch, and hits it deep to right field; Buhr camps under it and shudders the flood gates. 4 runs cross the plate, Cheese take a 4-1 lead.


12 2 6 Curves scoresheet
Bot 3rd -
Bischoff leads off the third with a long battle, drawing a walk, and Buhr follows with an infield single; a charging Shore holds the ball at third to not throw it away. The play looks smart as Nagorski trickles a ball just past the 20' dead-ball line for another infield single, but cannot push across a run. With the bases loaded Hewlett hits a single to right, Bischoff scores, Buhr rounds third and tries to score; Cosby throws a relay to Lewis in front of the plate, but they miss the peg; two runs score and Nagorski moves up to third on the throw. On the first pitch Coffman hits a ball on the ground to left; Shore throws to Crozier at second and he attempts to turn the double play in the circle, but the throw is just late. RBI for Coffman on the fielder's choice at second. Bischoff then knocks a ball over Lewis' head into short center; Crozier charges, tags the bag, and whips the ball to Lewis for the double play to end the inning. Curves add 3 to bring things back even at 4 heading into the fourth.

Top 4th -
Just as in the third, the Cheese offense responds furiously. Cosby leads off by crushing a 2-0 fastball over the fence in left. Three consecutive singles by the top of the order push across a second run, with Shore advancing to third on Lewis' flare to right. The Curves catch a break turning a double play (left-second-circle) on Pfefferle; Shore scores from third on the play for the third run of the innings, bases empty. Cosby keeps things going with a single to center, and Crozier belts a deep drive over the wall in right-center; the second home run of the inning and fourth and fifth runs. Swinging on the first pitch Shore nearly adds to both those numbers, but has a home run taken away by Buhr in right. Big inning for the Cheese puts them up 9-4 just six outs away from a win.

Bot 4th -
It took until the fourth inning, but this is what the Curves' lineup shift was meant to do. Buhr gets on with a single, then Nagorski knocks the ball over the fence in left-center. Lewis rebounds with his first strike out and a ground out, before Bischoff knocks a ball into right for a single. Lewis tidies up quickly getting Buhr to fly out to Shore in left. Curves chip away at the lead with 2 runs, still trail 9-6 as we go to the fifth.

Top 5th -
Hewlett has his best inning since the second. He opens up dealing his first strike out of the day against his counterpart, Lewis. Pfefferle dribbles an infield single, followed by a seeing eye variety off the bat of Cosby. Hewlett then gets Crozier to weekly fly out to Nagorski in center, runners hold, and bookends the inning with a swinging strikeout by Shore. Last call for the Curves needing 3 runs.

Bot 5th -
Lewis looks locked in to close the game down. He gets Nagorski out on a weak pop up to Pfefferle, and Hewlett on a slow roller to Shore. Coffman then gets to him with a single down the left field line, and Bischoff follows with a walk to bring the tying run to the plate. Buhr puts a nice swing on Lewis' patented riser, but drives it to the deep part of the park in center. Crozier gets underneath of it and records the final out. 9-6 Cheese win!

1 2 3 4 5 R H
0 0 4 5 0 9 13
0 1 3 2 0 6 9


Cheese  (1-1)12 2 6 Curves  (1-1)
      OFFENSE      OFFENSE
Crozier5-7, HR, 3 RBI, 3 R E. Bischoff2-4, 2 BB, 2 R
Shore2-5, 2 BB, RBI, 2 R Buhr2-6, 2 R
Lewis1-5, BB, RBI, R Nagorski3-5, HR, 3 RBI, 2 R
Pfefferle2-5, BB, 2 RBI, R Hewlett1-3, 2 BB, 2 RBI
Cosby2-4, HR, BB, RBI, 2 R Coffman1-5, RBI
      PITCHING      PITCHING
Lewis 6 R, 9 H, 1 HR, 4 BB, 1 KHewlett 9 R, 13 H, 2 HR, 5 BB, 2 K


Standings
W L +/-
2 0 +3
1 1 +2
1 1 -2
0 2 -3
The lineup changes for both teams were successful at boosting offensive production to the tune of three more runs for the Cheese and one more for the Curves. Though, obviously, those results are more apparent for the Cheese. Crozier thrived in the move to the lead-off spot: going 5-7 (now hitting .637 this Fall), getting his first HR and first 3 RBI, as well as scoring 3 more runs for 5 on the Fall. Pfefferle had his second two-hit game and added his fifth and sixth RBI of the Fall. Cosby also had his second two-hit game, getting his first HR and RBI, expertly fitting into the five slot. Nagorski had another great game for the Curves: his second three-hit game of the Fall (hitting .545), second HR and third, fourth, and fifth RBIs.

At 1-1 both teams are still in the hunt for the Fall Championship with just two games left to play. The Cheese close out their season against the 0-2 Risers, and the Curves go head-to-head with the 2-0 Sinkers. Both games have implications on crowning the champion. The cleanest way to decide the champion is A) a Sinkers victory; at 3-0 they would stand alone with no need for any tie-breakers. A 1-2 Curves team would finish third with a loss to the Cheese and win over the Risers. However, a Curves victory in that game makes things much more interesting. B) A Curves win and a Cheese win makes three teams 2-1, each with a head-to-head win over one of the others: Cheese over Curves, Curves over Sinkers, Sinkers over Cheese. Therefore the champion - as well as second and third place - would be crowned by run differential.* C) A Curves win and a Cheese loss makes the Curves the outright champion with their victory over the only other 2-1 team, Sinkers - Sinkers would be second, Risers third, and Cheese fourth.

Bottom line on what's at stake in these final two games: Sinkers and Curves can finish anywhere from first to third; Risers can still place as high as second; and Cheese can finish anywhere on the board - first to last! #MeaningfulGamesInOctober

* On the other end of the spectrum, a loss by both the Cheese and Curves puts three teams at 1-2 and will see second through fourth place decided by run differential.

Fans everywhere enjoy a good friendly, everyone enjoys giving into a good fantasy, and everyone loves the Fall - just too bad there isn't much Wiffle going on. Ah-ha! (Take on Me) That's where the the friendly and fantasy can come across even stronger. Four teams of five have been arbitrarily selected to compete and entertain us over the slow months. To determine the outcome of each at-bat a random number generator from 1 to 1000 is used. Each player's number ranges are different: their AVG and OBP are multiplied by the opposing pitcher's WHIP to set the ranges for hits and walks; from there a player's percentage of singles, doubles, triples, and home runs are spread over their "hit range": singles start at 1, home runs end at the highest number in the hit range. Walks follow above hits, and a pitcher's number of strikeouts in the 2012 season set the strikeout range after walks. Every number above that is an out made in the field: numbers closer to 1000 are fly outs, while lower numbers are ground outs. Depending on the situation sacrifice flies, advancing runners, peg outs, and double plays also come into play. You'll see that strikeouts and walks are disproportional to a real game, and that just adds to the entertainment! Let's just say everyone agreed to play these friendlies mid-pitch.


Game 1: Sinkers @ Cheese


Top 1st -
Sinkers start out hot with a single off the bat of Justin Hughes, followed immediately by a Dylan Braden double. Adam Cosby settled in to retire the next two batters before a walk to Chris Roszell. With the bases loaded he got Hughes out in front for a lazy fly ball to end the inning.

Bot 1st -
Chandler Phillips got outs every way possible: on the ground, in the air, and with the K. However, between those he gave up singles to Joel Crozier and Chris Lewis, and then hung a ball right in Pfefferle's sweet spot - resulting in a deep fly over the left field wall that put the Cheese up 3-0 early.


Sinkers scorecard
Top 2nd -
Sinkers respond quickly with six runs scored on four 2-out hits. A single by Hughes brought Alexia in from second; then a double to the wall by Braden scored both Phillips and Hughes; Alexia kept it alive with an infield single, and finally Phillips hit a 3-run blast to straight away center before Cosby got Roszell to ground out to end the inning. Sinkers on top 6-3.

Bot 2nd -
The Cheese get two runs back. Pfefferle delivers again in his second at-bat with a sac-fly to left, scoring Cosby; Sinkers tried to make the out at home, advancing Lewis to third. Alex Shore then got his first hit of the day to push Lewis across the plate. Cheese pull back within one. 6-5 Sinkers lead after two.

Top 3rd -
Sinkers put the ball in play, but the Cheese didn't give them any breaks. A single, fielder's choice on the lead runner (at second), single, and another fielder's choice on the lead runner (at third) set up a Chris Roszell single with runners on first and second. Sinkers tried scoring Alexia from second, but he was cut down by a peg from the pitcher on a good relay from the outfield. Sinkers remain up 6-5.

Bot 3rd -
Easy inning for Phillips and the Sinkers, surrendering only a Pfefferle single between two Cheese fly outs and Phillips' second strike out. Score remains 6-5 Sinkers after three.


Cheese scorecard
Top 4th -
Sinkers threaten, but are unable to score - in almost identical fashion to the first inning. A lead-off single, a double that wasn't deep enough to score the lead runner, two weak outs right at the pitcher, a Roszell walk, and a high fly-out to end the inning. Cheese keep it close, down one going into the home half of the fourth.

Bot 4th -
Phillips has settled in, now: getting the first 1-2-3 inning of the day, and retiring the last 5 batters. Cheese are running out of chances. 6-5 Sinkers going to the 5th.

Top 5th -
Cosby got routine ground balls from the first two batters for easy outs, and looked poised to take his team to the plate needing only one run. However, Phillips helped out his own cause - and gave his team their first run since the six-run second - with a home run that snuck over the right field wall on the first pitch; his second of the game. Roszell then drew his third walk of the game off a seemingly shaken Cosby. Adam settled down quickly, though, getting a third easy ground ball out off the bat of Hughes to end the inning. 7-5 Sinkers; final call for the Cheese.

Bot 5th -
Phillips started off the 5th confidently by retiring his six consecutive batter. He then got into a lengthy battle with Crozier, who fouled off multiple close strikes before coaxing a walk and bringing the tying run to the plate. Cosby stepped up and drove a first-pitch single into right field that pushed Crozier to third. Lewis then hit a drive to the wall in left-center, but watched it get robbed by a great Roszell grab. Crozier scored from third on the sacrifice, but the ball came in quickly to hold Cosby at first. Two outs and Pfefferle, already 2-3 with 4 RBI, coming to the plate. After a hard hit line-drive foul, Pfefferle got jammed and hit a lazy pop fly to Alexia at short to end the game. Sinkers hold off the cheese to win 7-6.


1 2 3 4 5 R H
0 6 0 0 1 7 13
3 2 0 0 1 6 9


SINKERS  (1-0)CHEESE  (0-1)
      OFFENSE      OFFENSE
Hughes4-6, RBI, RShore1-5, RBI
D. Braden3-5, 3 2B, BB, 2 RBI, RCrozier2-4, BB, 2 R
Alexia2-6, 2 RCosby2-5, R
Phillips3-6, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 3 RLewis2-4, RBI, 2 R
Roszell1-3, 3 BBPfefferle2-4, HR, 4 RBI, R
      PITCHING      PITCHING
Phillips6 R, 9 H, HR, BB, 3 KCosby7 R, 13 H, 2 HR, 4 BB, 1 K

Can Big Wood Perform on the Big Stage?

  by  Alex Shore
 
Bold predictions, smack talk, and a little bit of love were present in the WSEM NWLA Inaugural Tournament podcast. Sure, we got some heat from the other seven leagues, but I must say, it started to get people excited for the NWLA Inaugural Tournament. Now, I had WSEM as the best team, but not only was that a pump up for my team, but I feel if we want to see success, we will have to do much more than actually believe in ourselves. I will present to you want needs to be done by each player in order for WSEM to get their first ever National Championship.

1)  Austin Bischoff
Austin needs to do what he is known for, pitch dominantly. And by dominantly, I mean the Austin that only gives up a run approximately 2% of the time he pitches, a jaw dropping statistic. In addition, Austin has to get the bats moving, as he could be one of the games deadliest hitters with his power. Considering he has hit three homers in one game this year, two of which were over 135 feet in distance!!

2) Dennis Pearson
Dennis has taken a little bit of a slump this year, he isn’t exactly dominant on the hill, and his batting is down. What needs to happen out of Dennis is a massive 2011-esque pitching performance. I’m talking the Dennis who pitched 47 innings in last year’s championship series and, I kid you not, did not give up a single run. Oh did I mention he struck out 83? Or that was all in one day?? Anyway, he also needs to step up the bat. He is one of the most powerful people I have seen, and can hit the ball a country mile. If Dennis does this, we will be tough to beat.

3) Brandon Corbett
Corbett needs to keep on keeping on! By that I mean continue his pace and play. He had a down year in 2011, but right now he is killing the ball and also pitching well. If he can do this, Brandon could be a useful reliever and also a batting threat as well. His 22 RBI’s through 22 games speak volumes. Meaning if Corbett knocks in one run per game in Columbus, and is in addition complemented by the rest of the lineup, this team has prime chances of winning games!

4) Sam Hatt
Mr. Perfect! And by that I mean the fact that he has thrown a perfect game this year and also has an ERA of 0.12 and a 7-1 record!! He is a pitching threat and he is on a roll this year! If he brings that to Columbus other teams will have a tough time getting on base, let alone a hit!! Sam’s batting stats of an OBP of .417 and 34 total bases make him an offensive threat, as well. If Hatt can continue to get on base, that will make it tough for other teams to beat us, when he is complimented by the others in this lineup.

5) Evan Bortmas
Evan has not only pitched a perfect game but he is without a doubt one of the league’s best hitters. No matter how hard you pitch, Evan can hit you. His .314 batting average, .450 OBP, .721 SLG and 1.170 OPS speak volumes. Evan also has a 0.45 ERA, 0.76 WHIP, 72K’s and a 6-1 record on the hill! If Evan just does what he does, I see him having a lot of success in Columbus!

6) Alex Shore
I need to elevate my level of play. As captain of this team, I feel that leading by example will lead these guys to out do me. If I get on base, I feel they will drive me in. 2012 has been a down year for me, but I need to rekindle my 2011 season in which my batting average was .417, my OBP was .516, and my SLG was. 787. My base-running needs to be at its peak considering that is what I do best. Speed and power are a deadly combo, and that has to be present for us to see success in Columbus.


Captain’s Final Note: I know my guys can play with the best of them, I know my guys are tough to beat, and I know for a fact, that we have the best pitching around. It is an honor to have been elected to lead this team as captain. It is an honor to play against some of the best leagues around. It is an even bigger honor to feel that we can walk away champions.

Best of luck to all teams competing. I hope to meet some of you and also have a great time.


Alex Shore C
#33 Big Wood - WSEM

Team Tuesdays: Flying Squirrels


by Alex Shore

When the average person thinks Wiffleball, you think of a yellow, hollow bat and a childhood game. I, on the other hand, think of one of the most fun summertime activities I have ever been a part of. All of that success is credited to Carl Coffee and Brandon Corbett. When Carl asked me to write this article about the team I was truly flattered. The Squirrels are a team that is the most beloved team in WSEM, it would be much like playing for the LA Lakers or even The Boston Red Sox. So, with no further delay, I will write about the most prestigious team in WSEM.


King of the World, Carl Coffee
My first ever-organized game of wiffleball was on June 26th 2010 against the Flying Squirrels of WSEM. At the time I didn’t think too much about it or even realize what it all meant, but now I realize just how special it was. It was a roster consisting of Carl Coffee, Matt Murtha, Brandon Corbett and Ryan Keith Bullard. This team is not great on paper but you can very much consider these four as some of the all time legends of WSEM. It was like playing Mickey Shore, Pat Lafontaine, Darren McCarty and Al McInnis in a 4 v 4 pick up hockey game! Anyways bringing it to the 2012 season Carl and Brandon still are on the squad, but Michael Constanti, Mike Merlo, and a few other rookies now accompany them.


Wiffleball: it's all in the thighs.
In my science of power rankings article I have them at number five on paper. Now, given the magic that can happen during the summer and seeing them play in the satellite tournaments, I do not expect them to actually finish there. Carl’s expert defense, Brandon’s clutch hitting (.306 AVG, .537 SLG%, 7 HR and 7 2B in 2011), Merlo’s “Jamie Moyer-esque” dominance (0.24 ERA, 0.80 WHIP, 32 K and 4 BB in 20 IP in 2011), and Constanti’s help (1.54 ERA, 1.48 WHIP, 121 K and 42 BB in 61.2 IP in 2011) could lift this team above and beyond expectations. I expect big things from the Squirrels that had a mediocre season statistically and finished .500 in 2011. If they can find a way to get on base and score the runs necessary (more than one), they can make a top three run. Basically put: they have to step up at the dish and continue to play solid defense if they want late season success. This is truly a great group of guys, I’m glad to call them my friends and competitors; they truly make WSEM one hell of a league. If I had to assign each player to a famous athlete: Carl would be Mark Messier, Brandon would be Shaquille O’ Neal, Constanti would be Ron Artest, and Merlo would be Gordie Howe.


Bumper stickers are $1


Good Luck to all this season,

Alex Shore

Interview: Alex Shore

Captains Corner
with David Buhr

He's competitive. He's talented. He's bold. He's brash. He's Alex Shore. That brashness is what I believe helped put WSEM on the NWLA radar. A sarcastic mouth, bold predictions and assumptions, and the numbers to back you up generate good stories. Alex quite possibly lives by the credo, "It's not bragging if it's true". Well, he certainly has the stats to prove himself. What can really be appreciated about Alex, however, is his passion, his drive to win, and his love for the game. He generates competition throughout the league which may be one of the best things for the league. It's sad that he'll only be able to play a couple of weeks this year before a season ending surgery. I'm sure he'll still show up to games and remain an active part of the league with Twitter. Now I present to you a humbler, though no less talkative, Alex Shore.


Name:Alexander Michael Shore
DOB:01/07/1993
Height:182.88 cm
Weight:72.7 Kg

1. How did you come up with the Westside Warriors team name last year?

If my memory serves me correctly, Woods and I entered the Rally-around-the-flag-a-palooza tournament and decided we needed a team name. Ironically earlier that day we were talking about how cool the Brother Rice Warriors (my high schools rival) color scheme and logo is. We were the only team at the time from Oakland County and ironically the only team on the west side of metro-Detroit, so thus the Westside Warriors were formed.

2. Now that the Warriors have been disbanded, how do you think you and your new team will fare in the league this year?

This is only a one-season thing. The warrior crew will be back. This is just the best way for the guys to stay active while I’m out for the season. Hopefully depending on how successful the season is, Joe and his guys, will become warriors if they need a team.

3. Between Austin Bischoff and Dennis Pearson, who do you think is better? Do you think you're better than either of them?

I respect both of these players' vast amounts. If I had to choose the better amongst the two, it would be Bischoff. My sole reasoning is that Dennis has had multiple years in WSEM and has grown into an equal player to the current Bischoff. Austin Bischoff is a rookie who still has much room for improvement, given that he will become more acquainted with the game and the league. My prediction is that after this season, Bischoff will emerge into the most dominant two-way player in the history of WSEM. Furthermore, I do not see myself superior to either of these ball players.

4. What team do you think has the most legitimate shot at winning it all this year? Do you think it'll be a repeat or will the Ducks be shot down?

In my “Science of Power Rankings” article I gave a pretty in-depth description on why the DeLoppes will run away with this title. The Ducks will NOT repeat, as a matter of fact they might not even COMPETE. Lewis was a huge addition but as we saw in September, that addition has messed up the Ducks team chemistry. If Dennis is only a threat for two to three innings on average, this team is very beatable for two reasons. First, they are far from great defensively, and second, the Ducks had a huge amount of close 1 to 2 run games that they had won in extra innings last season with Dennis pitching the whole day. Not enough depth here to win it all this year.

5. What was your favorite sport growing up?

Hockey. Always has been, always will be.

6. Did you have a favorite hobby?

Travel Baseball Umpiring

7. Did you ever have any awesome or unusual nicknames?

Shore, Jersey, A-train

8. What are your thoughts on the new pitching rule? Which team do you think will benefit the most from it? Which team do you think it might hurt the most?

I absolutely love the new pitching rule. It challenges depth and pure talent of your team as a whole. Great rule all around. The team that will benefit the most is the Deloppes considering they have already played with this rule for an entire year. Obviously enough, the team that will hurt the most is the Ducks.

9. Where do you think the biggest rivalry will lie this year?

Ducks vs WWA : It’s like a Crosby (Dennis) vs. Ovechkin (Bischoff) rivalry in '09.

10. You've kind of been the catalyst for the trash talk around the league. Do you think that it's been healthy for the league? Do you think some take it too far? Is it fair to say that you'll probably never stop with it?

I have an extensive hockey background. Playing for almost my whole life competitively, trash talking is a part of the game. As an umpire for travel baseball for nearly seven years, trash talking exists everywhere. For example “swing batter batter”, “this guy can't hit” and even coaches and parents blatantly firing their teams up while shouting negative attributes about other teams. This ties into WSEM because talking makes the game fun. This is a competitive league and trash talking is a part of competitive nature. Obviously, no one is trying to clear benches or anything, but if you can't handle some trash talk, go play softball in your local rec league. Do you think professional athletes go home and cry about what people say? The obvious answer here is "no", they speak with actions and shut people up. As far as taking something too far is concerned: once the talk gets personal and degrading, such as Michael Constanti’s article about me, I would then draw the line as too far. As long as the talk remains baseball oriented, it's "no harm no foul" to me. Lastly, I (nor the entire league for that matter) will not stop with the trash talking. It's fun and allows you to express some emotion towards our league. If you can’t handle some fun trash, I hear there are plenty of golf leagues in the Detroit area to join over the summer.

The Science of Powers Rankings

   by Alex Shore   (33, Donkeys)

It would be safe to say that in past power ranking articles of WSEM the rankings have all been largely based off of favoritism, reputation, and history of a given few star players. I look to focus on TEAM UNITS as a WHOLE. There is no “I” in team and no “ME” in Championship. I feel that two categories of a team’s success as a unit are heavily overlooked: team chemistry and statistical analysis. With either of these upset a given team’s success could be at risk. I will attempt to power rank the eight teams based off of team chemistry and statistical output in past years in relation to the upcoming season.


Starting at number eight, I have the Campus Commandos. As far as team chemistry goes, turbulence is a key word. Adam Grant has a turbulent relationship with many players in WSEM, which leaves his teammates and competitors to be rather “up-in-the-air” as to how to play the game around him. Now as far as Statistical analysis goes, it is no secret that the Commandos need A LOT of improvement in every major area if they wish to compete for a championship. Also, with the loss of a veteran player in Joe Seto, the team has a substantial hole to fill in both batting and pitching numbers. Joe Seto and his fill-in players (who are now the Donkeys) accounted for roughly 44% of the Commandos run support and roughly 48% of the team’s hits. That will account for nearly half for the team’s offense. This is a detrimental loss in an area in which they already struggled. The Commandos finished second to last in team batting average last year and without any major changes in chemistry or stats, I don’t see much improvement at all. We do not even need to talk about pitching, because aside from Seto that was it. Seto accounted for 80% of the team’s win, a whopping margin. Linebrink showed some promise based on his two wins and 57 K’s; however, unless someone steps up, consider this team a GONER with the new pitching rotation and not one stud on the hill. Imagine the chemistry of the Charlestown Chiefs and also the record of the 80’s “Dead Wings”, and that is what you have to look forward to from the Commandos.


At seven, I have the Belgian Wiffles. Chemistry on this team will be top tier in the league. David Buhr is an affable person and chances are, that some of his rookie players are ball players from his soccer team. If so, they will respond well to David’s criticism and could potentially result in a unified team, which could make a late season push. There is no team harder to beat than a unified team, especially a team with a qualified leader in Buhr. Now, jumping into statistical analysis could be a bit tougher. The Wiffles lost their stud pitcher and batter in Chris Lewis. He accounted for 37% of the team’s hits and 32 % of the teams run production. Lewis was by no means a top batter in the league either, and as a result, this should scare the Wiffles. Lewis racked up 82% of his teams wins on the mound. Given the rotation rule, Buhr needs to find not only one, but two go-to pitchers. The upside to all of this is that Buhr’s players are probably incredibly athletic, and if they are his ball players, he should have no problem molding them into decent players over a season while being a player/coach. Buhr can be considered a player much like that of the captain of the Mystery Alaska Hockey team.


At Six, I have the Jason Mattseals. I know this may come as a surprise to some, but one can’t overlook potential. The chemistry of this team is middle of the run. Hewlett, Matt and his team are close friends on and off the diamond, so expect a tight knit group of players. Captained by Jason Matt, this team showed some games of beauty, and others of misery. Statistically speaking this team was the worst offensive team in the league. If players like Hewlett, Johnson, and Biegas perform with slightly improved numbers, the seals can find a decent amount of production in hits and runs. These players accounted for 68% of the team’s hits, and 70 % of the team’s runs. With slight improvement, these numbers can continue to grow, since the Seals will have all of their players returning next year. Johnson is still up in the air to return but the Seals signed a promising rookie in Greg Franzen and hope to make a push in the playoffs. Pitching is promising for these Seals! That is right; Hewlett is the team’s saving grace. Accounting for 100% of the team’s wins, this man is a machine and he is returning. The only question is… Is there a number two? Hewlett could potentially develop this number two person over the season, and if the Seals can manage to split most series, this team could be dangerous down the stretch. Say bye to the “loveable losers” and hello to the Flint Tropics under Ed Monix. A changed club with a whole lot of potential!


At five, I just barely have the Squirrels. This team has the Chemistry of the Russian 80s men’s Olympic hockey team. A group of guys who have known each other since high school, the Squirrels are in it to win it, crack a brew, and have a good time. This will prove helpful in the long run, because a tight knit group tends to find success. An exceptional group of guys for the most part, and only good things will come this season. Most of all the Squirrels added Michael Constanti, an All-Star pitcher, and Ryan Bullard, a Diamond Digit winner. The Squirrels have a solid one-two punch at pitcher in Mike Merlo and Constanti, and have stepped up their defensive prowess in adding Bullard to complement Carl Coffee. Statistically speaking this team finished fifth in both batting and pitching. The Ass Kickers finished fourth and the squirrels now have absorbed the ace of the Ass Kickers. The Squirrel batting also has become improved as a result. Coffee and Brandon Corbett accounted for 58% of the hits and 58% of the runs. A major problem last year was the runners left on base and the lack of run support for the pitchers. Now, the Squirrels acquired another bat in Constanti and even more importantly, a person who has a high on base percentage. Ryan Bullard was on base roughly 47% of the time in the 14 games he played. This will prove to be crucial to the Squirrels as a unit, who were only on base 38% of the time in 28 games. A quick chemistry lesson: when a reaction is in equilibrium, the reaction is highly reactive. Watch out for this team in equilibrium to be highly dangerous on any given day!


At four, I have the Donkeys. This unit is number three in team chemistry. Joe Seto, as previously mentioned, is a force to be reckoned with. He has a great group of guys in Haapala, Shaw, and Spagnoulo, not to mention the additions of Shore, Malloy, Whelan and the Westside crew; the team has a lot of potential. What you notice from previous tournaments is the Donkeys take one car, sit together, and enjoy the game. Not to mention they made it to the championship in the most recent tournament with players of the new squad. This kind of unification would have Rick James screaming unity! Now, on to the statistics. Last season, Seto accounted for nearly half of the commando’s production in all areas. This was done with no other stud players around to take any heat off of him. The new Donkeys have Haapala and Shaw: two utility players that proved useful in both pitching and batting. Although both players do not have plausible stats, they show potential based on their tournament performance. The addition of Malloy will be a huge lift to the Donkeys pitching. When Malloy is on his game he can rival pitchers like Bischoff and Pearson. Malloy only pitched 39 innings on the year and only in 9 games out of 28 games total. In nine games he racked up 83 strikeouts. That is average of two strikeouts per inning, and was 40% of the Warrior’s total strikeouts. In addition, he had a 3.36 ERA and only allowed 28 hits. Seto, Shore, and Shaw carried the team to a championship run, Just think of the potential with Malloy as well! Shore and Whelan are a huge lift in the hitting aspect. Shore was top three of the league in homers, hits, RBIs and average. Whelan was top five in average with a batting average of .412. Look for the Donkeys to explode onto the scene and make everyone’s heads turn. Imagine this team as the ‘06 Tigers: major signings, new look in the front office, and hungry to win.


At three, I have the Thunder Ducks. This unit was almost clear in my book with team chemistry until the addition of an unknown. In chemistry the addition of an unknown could either be a catalyst to the reaction in terms of success or detrimental in terms of failure. The Ducks are a group of kids that dominate the game. Lewis was added to this mix in the offseason. Although it may look good on paper, I am anxious to see how this plays out during the season. How will the team function and get along with Lewis? Will tempers flare? Who knows? This is partly why I have the Ducks low, this huge debacle in team chemistry. One area that is not up for debate is statistics. The Ducks were second in pitching and batting as a team in the league. In addition, last year, Dennis Pearson carried the majority of the workload in both categories. He was accountable for 32% of the hits, 40% of the total bases, 50% of the homeruns and 40% of the RBIS. Solid numbers matched this major production by the rest of his team, however, much lower numbers. With all of this said, a similar year out of Pearson and a better year from players like Nagorski, Nick Braden, and Chris Lewis at the dish could make for a Yankees type explosive batting lineup. The pitching rotation rule was almost a total scare for the Ducks until Lewis signed with them. Last year Pearson accounted for 64% of the wins, 63% of the innings pitched, and pitched nearly 50 more innings then the number two pitcher in Dylan Braden. This much productivity will be nearly cut in half with the new rotation rules, making Pearson much less harmful to teams. Lewis will help a lot, but this one two punch is still not top in the league. Imagine the Ducks as a modern day New England Patriots: always contenders, led by a star, and the team that everyone would love to one day be good enough to beat.


At two, I have the Whiteford Wiffleball Association. This team has great chemistry as a unit (#2), has motivation to play, and most of all has no one person who wants to miss a beat of the action. This kind of unification is a manager’s dream. It is a job well done by Joel Croizer, and with a continuation of this team chemistry, I see big things for this squad as a unit. In the tournament this past September, the team did not lose, took down the Ducks, DeLoppes, and won the whole thing! It was not a one-man show but a team effort; everyone contributed in pitching, batting, and motivating. This is unlike anything WSEM has experienced before and will pay big dividends throughout the upcoming season. This is a group of enthusiastic newcomers who the league should be more than excited to play against. Statistically, there isn’t much to base all of the players off of. I can speak on behalf of Lake, Crozier, and Hughes and Evan Bischoff. They all can pitch, bat, and field with the best of them. They enjoy the game and also are very dynamic athletes. Austin Bischoff is the Alexander Ovechkin of this team. He is a leader, who can do it all, and speak volumes with his play. In his time with the Squirrels in the 2011 season, he played five games, had a batting average of .348, and had eight hits. In the playoffs, he led the Squirrels in all major categories in both batting and pitching. And in a total of nine games pitched he only allowed ONE RUN! That means when he pitched, he only gave up a run 2% of the time! Watch for this team to take the league by storm and become a Detroit Red Wings style team: using all of their players dangerously!


Finally at one, I have the Wiffling DeLoppes. What more can I say about these guys? They are more than just a ball club, they are a family. Not only do these guys have the best team chemistry, they come dressed to play, focused, and determined to win. They are the ideal picture of unity. As far as I am concerned, this is a major reason for their success as a team. If half of the WSEM teams had this kind of togetherness, this league would have so much talent that every game would be a marquee matchup. A final chemistry lesson: the first Law of Thermodynamics is that “energy cannot be created nor destroyed.” For the DeLoppes it is entirely true, but for them it pertains to winning and enthusiasm and they certainly will not be destroyed! Statistically they jump off of the paper. The DeLoppes were number one in both team batting and team pitching in the regular season. They are the only team who did not need to make any roster moves in the off –season. It is also safe to say that had there been a rotation rule last year, this team would have run away with the Championship. Cliff Comstock and Chad Hoppe had ERAs under 2.00, had over 90 strikeouts, had WHIPS under 1.27, and at least 9 wins apiece. They are the most well-rounded and dynamic one-two punch in the league. I also feel that they will only improve for this coming year since they are hungry for a title that was ripped out of their hands by Dennis Pearson. On the other hand, the DeLoppes had stellar batting. Joey DeLano and Nick Snow were major contributors in this aspect. DeLano was atop the league in homers, RBIs, average, runs, and hits. He was a force when paired with Rookie of the Year Nick Snow. As a unit the Deloppes were on base nearly 50% of the time. That is: for every out, there is a runner on. They also had a team OPS of 1.122, accompanied by 206 hits as a unit. With the amount of heart and practice this team puts in, the rewards will be high. They are a well-rounded unit and in my opinion will be lifting the trophy in the upcoming season. Imagine this team as the LA Lakers in the Shaq and Kobe Era: dominant, hard-working, and by all means superb.

I look forward to an interesting and exciting season.


*Stats from League Lineup
*Mostly Regular Season Stats
*Based on teams as a unit

Counterpoint, "Re: The Balls"

by Alex Shore

Thanks for the touching article Michael, i would like to take this time to point out several FLAWS throughout your "touching piece".

Flaw 1:
After the playoff games in which you defeated us, i shook every player on your teams hand and congratulated them. Further more, As far as Kirk's " i wanna whoop your ass, cant handle my emotions" attitude, i apparently caught him on a bad day and he is very ...temperamental. This goes on the record as saying he is a loose cannon and can be mad at anyone at any given time. Lastly, did i mention why he was mad? Well, it was because i was talking fun trash with my teammates. TRASH TALK IS A PART OF BASEBALL! Hell, if the pro's went out on the diamond and complained about the trash talking they heard, they would want you to write them an article. If this league cant handle trash talk, we just change the name to the WWSEM (Similar to WNBA).

Flaw 2:
I am nothing of what you made me out to be in that article. Do you really think Joe Seto of all people would want some "arrogant" "Smarmy" and "immature" player to play for his team? i didn't think so. Not only is this article so poorly written, content wise and grammatically, it would take someone with little to none actual knowledge of the sport to write. You basically just listed two players that you don't like, with your own BS reasons for not liking them, and seized you opportunity to slander them by this article. This not only tears down the integrity of the league but also your integrity as a person. If you want to complain to someone get a therapist, not a blog.

Flaw 3:
I hope your other four articles aren't as sad and pathetic as this one. People want entertainment in an article, not the kind that you would hear at a meeting with an anger management adviser. Seriously, I hope you have the dignity to redeem yourself with at least one of these articles. This flaw touches upon my non-affability. How was I invited to London, voted to an all star team, and voted as a head figure of this league by the national website, if i was all of the interesting characteristics that you make me out to be. This shows how biased you really are and how false the information in this article really is.

With all this being said,

This article may be the worst piece of literature to cross my eyes. As far as this goes, Mike, take all your negative energy back to your nitty gritty softball diamonds.

Best Regards,
Alex Shore

Get into my Yard, III - The Westside Reservation

Your Junk my Happy Zone
by Brandon Corbett


When last we loitered on the land of others and littered it with lavish words it was at our southernmost field, Frenchtown Field in Monroe County. Today we stick with the "F," but flip the compass and travel to the most northern site to feature Wiffle in Southeast Michigan action: The Westside Reservation in Farmington. Carl and I were ecstatic when the Warriors announced mid-season that they were building a field, as that gave us fields in three counties! That is an impressive way to increase the size of your footprint.

The journey to getting the Westside Reservation built was not an easy one, however. The initial field location - a little league sized ballfield with a grass infield, benches, and a backstop - had to be abandoned due to conflicts with a home-owners association and painting lines on the field. Hey! Remember that "angry neighbors" stat from earlier this season? "Chalk" up a couple more for their mid-season resurgence! Never one to give up on his team or vision, Alex Shore, captain of the Warriors, had a back up plan ready to go no more than a day later it seemed. [Insert gag about Alex being quick at everything he does here.]

The second field location, the Reservation we all know and love (or hate), is located in the vacant back lot of a Church that is kind enough to let us park in their lot. According to Shore, the Church was excited that someone asked to do something with the land, as it usually just went used. The land itself is a hard, shallow clay surface with a slight roll in the infield, which makes for some interesting bounces on ground balls. While topography and ground conditions are unlikely to have been studied beforehand, this actually is something that plays into the Warriors aggressive style. Waiting back to field a ball can lead to mistakes, while charging in will limit the chances at the ball taking odd hops. Above ground the field is covered in fuller, nicer grass than other fields in the league. Note: I did not say longer. The Warriors do a good job making sure the field is cut into good playing condition before games. It is nice to have a playing surface that is not a putting green, like Frenchtown, a semi-arid savanna, like the Drey, or a jungle, like Lafayette.

One fault with the Reservation is a result of the hard ground. It is impossible to pound the stakes for the silt fence all the way into the ground, and there is a four to six inch gap left between the ground and bottom of the fence. When the first games were played ground-rule doubles were frequent. The problem was quickly rectified by instating a new ground rule: when the ball goes under the fence, the runners go back to the last base touched (excluding home-to-first, where the runner is given first). It is a fair solution that nullifies what would otherwise be an unavoidable, yet considerable problem with the field construction.

The fence is still the most talked about aspect of the Reservation. Although, with that ground rule in place, players are free to talk about the dimensions of the fence instead of how it sits. A topic much more baseball, and much more fun! The first build of the field had a fairly standard, elliptical outfield wall. However, with Shore being a lefty, so few other lefties in the league, and at least one team building their field to screw lefties, the Warriors redesigned the outfield wall to lefty-friendly accommodations. [Unfortunately, no pictures of the new dimensions are available.] There is a short-porch in right field approximately 60-65' down the line and running perpendicular through right-center, before jumping straight back to a deep center field estimated around 110', and coming around to a fairly average 85' down the left field line. Many opponents call bullshit on Shore's friendly confines, but hey, is that not why you build a home field? To have an advantage? To build to your strengths or opponents' weaknesses? As a righty who can only hit pull field and a fan of odd, extreme field design, I simultaneously bitch about the short porch because I cannot hit into it, and praise the clever creativity of the complete asymmetry and the huge leap in depth; my left brain hates it, my right brain cannot help but love it. The Reservation easily gets the award for "most off the wall wall!"

Every WSEM team but the DeLoppes made the trip to play at the Reservation this year. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. I am proud of Shore and the Warriors for putting it together, and of the Commandos, Ass Kickers, Git r' Done guys, Mattseals, Squirrels, and most of all the Belgian Wiffles for making the trip. More than what happens on the field, this league and this game as a whole is about giving guys the opportunity to make something: a field they can be proud of, or just a memory of a once-in-a-lifetime experience taking the team bus to Farmington to swing plastic on wacky dimensions behind a church. "Once" because the Warriors will not be returning to WSEM next year, as their roster is heading off to college. So, even if the home field advantage of the Westside Reservation could not get the Warriors past the Ass Kickers in the first-round in 2011, hopefully, "hey, remember that summer we were in a Wiffleball League together and built that awesome/ridiculous/ridculously awesome field?" will be a question asked to spark conversation by the 2011 Westside Warriors years down the road.

Here is a montage thrown together by their captain for Westside's 2011 season:
(It includes a few shots we do not have from around the Reservation.)