In the Cards '13 - #4: Jason Hewlett

Jason Hewlett has something to show you. Yes, it is his nipple... and more. He moonlights as a stripper,* and utilizes the tools of that trade in his game. Jason's most popular, and daring, maneuver on the field is to do a pole dance on the bat while the pitcher starts his wind-up, spin out of it, land elegantly and then take a powerful swing. Pitchers routinely hang a breaking ball, amazed at the erotic show they are being given: 5 of Jason's 6 HR this season have come when using this technique. He also features a deep repertoire of seductive bends, flashes, and thrusts. Easily distracted fielders are frequently seen glassy-eyed and drooling as they stare at Hewlett in the box. Occasionally, you even catch one digging through his pockets for singles. This has led to a career high in hits just halfway through the season. On the mound Jason has been known to utilize body glitter to all its advantages. Dazzled batters have been seen falling on swings, frozen in their fantasies, and - on at least one occasion - running out to the mound instead of first base. Hewlett has successfully parlayed his riveting after-hours gig into being a top-ten player in WSEM; now he just needs to find a way to turn his before-hours game into as big a money-maker.

* According to a tip provided by Hewlett's now-teammate Jason "other Jason H." Hollister, who would not share his stage name.

Career Stats
Batting	AB	H	BB	2B	3B	HR	SF	R	RBI	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG
* 2013:	33	12	13	1	0	6	0	15	17	0	0	.364	.543	.939
2012:	90	9	32	1	0	3	0	9	10	-	-	.100	.336	.211
2011:	59	10	21	2	1	1	0	10	6	-	-	.169	.387	.288
Pitching	G	IP	R	H	BB	K	W	L	S	SB	CS	ERA	WHIP
* 2013:	5	18.1	15	18	19	36	2	2	0	1	0	4.09	2.02
2012:	7	30.1	9	26	16	40	1	4	0	-	-	1.48	1.38
2011:	14	51	59	83	44	79	3	8	0	-	-	5.78	2.49
* As of 6/13/2013