Which is Really the Right Side of the Plate?

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We compare everything around here: years, fields, teams, players, designs, colors, penises... How is it possible that we have never set left next to right to answer an ancient, troubling question of the game: why do some players bat from the wrong side of the plate? Is there a quantifiable advantage to the ass-backward mechanics and starting two feet closer to first base?

To find out once and for all I took the career stats (hits, total bases, and at bats) for all seasoned WSEM players, tallied them up by side of the plate,* calculated the average and slugging percentage for each, then compared the results.


John "Sharlow" Sharlow bats left-handed.
Ryan "Ryan A" Alexia bats right-handed.

17

PLAYERS

74

No big surprise here, just some table setting. We know lefties are the rare breed, but now we see they are outnumbered by slightly less than 4.5 to 1. This is actually a little closer than I expected, as it sees them representing 18.7% of WSEM players.

.266

AVERAGE

.259

Lefties strike first, hitting for average. The .007 advantage may seem quaint, but at a 2.7% margin is actually fairly significant. Both the best (.559) and worst (.083) performing lefties also beat out the respective ceiling (.540) and cellar (.035) from the right-handed side to make it an even more decided advantage.

.416

SLUGGING %

.443

Righties strike back in the power game, and do so by a much wider spread: .027, representing a 6.5% margin. The low end for both sides remains the same as average, however, the top performing righty now outperforms his lefty counterpart by over one-hundred points, 1.161 to 1.059. There is a definitive advantage here.

2

MVPs, RotYs, Batting Champs, & HR Kings

11

The disparity in offensive awards seems the most lopsided, and while it is "advantage righties," it is a much closer margin than 11-to-2 first appears. Remember that lefties represent just 18.7% of the league, and thus play with that percentage chance of winning any award. They have managed to win 15.4% of the offensive-focused Handies, a falloff of only 3.3%. For those keeping score, on the flip side that means righties, who make up 81.7% of the league, have taken home 84.6% of the awards.

So, where does this leave us: lefties make better contact? Righties have more power? Award nominations are dominated by a biased right-handed conglomerate? Perhaps, apparently, and that's the way it should be! be careful making such lofty accusations are the respective answers there.

We may get mixed results when breaking down production, but the titular question is, "which is really the right side of the plate?" Well, the right side clearly is not always the right side. Additionally, at the risk of unsettling the ghost of Gerry Bertier, the left side is not the strong side. So... push. Both sides seem to have some claim to the qualification. It may need to be decided one day on one field. Who wants to see a "Lefty-Star vs. Righty-Star Game" to settle things once and for all?

* Switch hitters were placed onto the side from which they are most frequently seen batting.

3rd Annual WSEM Fantasy Snowball Fight

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

Congrats to Squirrels ace, Jason Hewlett. As the #10 seed, he took down the 3rd Annual WSEM Fantasy Snowball Tourney! pic.twitter.com/9qkApuySAk — Wiffle in SE MI (@wiffleinsemi) January 29, 2014

How Things are Shaping Up

		The Castle Chronicle
		by David Castle

After last Friday’s division draw video, which was interesting to say the least, we now have half of each division drawn. It’s too early to bust out any predictions, but we certainly can see how things are shaping up.


To start, we have the defending champion Whiteford Wicked Aces representing Ringler along with the Westside Warriors and the Onanism. Not much has to be said about the Wicked Aces, they’re always good, always have pitching, and are always in contention. But, without their best hitter and quite possibly the best hitter in league history in Evan Bortmas, how do the Aces plan to replace his production? Alex Shore went out in the offseason and pulled a Steinbrenner and got a bunch of talent at high cost in Evan Bortmas and David Castle; he looks to dethrone the defending champs which will be no easy task, I predict nothing less than a season split between the Warriors and the Aces if the Warriors are at full strength, and that is a big IF. Now, I don’t mean to say so little about the Onanism, but there are just too many question marks to make any logical forecasts for this team. Yes, we know Kiefer has thrown a perfect* game, but this is a pitchers’ league. Will he bring good pitchers? Will his rookies be as good as the Belgian 2012 rookies (Skinner, Phillips, Tomlinson, Castle)? Or the 2013 Belgian/King Friday rookie brothers (Mark and Greg Brannan)? Only time will tell, but with them having a background in baseball, they should be just fine. At this point, anyone could contend for the Ringler pennant.


Representing the Garcia Division is the runner-up and last year’s Garcia pennant winning el Diablos, along with King Friday and the Belgian Wiffles. I feel as if the Diablos are the team to beat this year after coming up just short of a championship, I have a feeling that it just doesn’t sit well with Chandler James and the gang that they came so close and went home empty handed. King Friday will finish last… but I hope they don’t; Rich Hurd deserves far better than that. And as for the Belgian Wiffles, the signings that David Josiah made this offseason were rather surprising from my perspective. He has a tendency to just sign a bunch of rookies every year, but with the addition of some good veteran talent in Nick Braden and Josh Nagorski, they should be able to contend for a wild card spot. But, with that being said, any of the remaining four teams could be drawn for the Garcia and it wouldn’t matter. Playing four games against the Diablos just isn’t fun for anyone but the Diablos. The Diablos win this division easily.

To conclude, I think the Ringler is and will end up being the better division in the coming season. Since the divisions were made, Ringler’s record against Garcia is 92-32. History will repeat itself, the Ringler is better and will kick the Garcia Division’s ass. Sorry little brother, that’s just how things are.

Wiffle Year Power Rankings

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

I remember I used to power rank things as a young lad even before I knew what power rankings were, so as you can see I have an unhealthy obsession. Whether it was my friends, ninja turtle characters, or baseball cards, I would power rank anything and everything. You may be sick and tired of my obsession, but I am the commissioner for one more year, so you have to deal with it!

Anyways, as we enter the fourth season of WSEM I have a good feeling it may blow previous seasons out of the water. So it made me think, which year has been my favorite? I included the three WSEM years, two Downriver Wiffle years, the one DWL year, and even 2004.

2004 London: Lugnuts (3-3) Built our first makeshift field at BMS and played pickup games

2005 Started the Downriver Wiffleball League Built Danger Field at BMS Memorial Day Tournament (8 teams) Built Gill Yards Flag Day WIfflepalooza (6 teams) London: Lugnuts (3-3) New Carlisle Tournament (3rd place out of 16)

2009 Rebranded ourselves as Downriver Wiffle Built Pacman Park Downriver Wiffle Fast Pitch Tournament (8 teams) Wifflefest Tournament (0-4) WOW Whiffle Chilocothe Tournament (2-4) London: Jammers (6-2)

2010 Built South Field and Pitcher’s Park Rally Around the Flag-a-Palooza! (6 teams) London: Flying Squirrels (2-3) Hoppe’s September Tournament (5 teams)

2011 Started Wiffle in Southeast Michigan (8 teams) Launched WSEM Podcast Wind Up Tournament (8 teams) London: Flying Squirrels (1-4) Git R’ Done wins WSEM Commissioners Cup Beat It Tournament (8 teams)

2012 WSEM Year 2 (10 teams) Two Preseason Satellite Tournaments London: Flying Squirrels (2-3) Inaugural NWLA Tournament (5-3) Wicked Aces win WSEM Commissioners Cup John Hill for the Thrill/All-Star Game HalloWiffle

2013 Slow in the Snow (4 teams) WSEM Year 3 (8 teams) Two Preseason Satellite Tournaments London: SeMIs (1-4) 2nd annual NWLA Tournament (2-4) Wicked Aces win WSEM Commissioners Cup 2nd annual John Hill for the Thrill/All-Star Game HR Derby Flying Squirrels Invitational (6 teams) 2nd annual HalloWiffle

#7  -  2004

2004 probably shouldn’t even be included on this list, but it is the year I discovered competitive wiffleball, and it’s when I fell in love with this game. I sent a team of childhood friends and my brother down to London, OH, for the London Slow Pitch Tournament and we were decently competitive. I was working at a summer camp three hours from home this summer, but when I would come on the weekends we would play pickup games at Brownstown Middle School. We didn’t know at the time, but we would later make BMS our wiffle home.

#6  -  2010

2010 was sandwiched in between the year we brought competitive Wiffle back to SE Michigan, and the year we started WSEM. The focus of 2010 was the Rally Around the Flag-a-Palooza!, which was supposed to be bigger and better than our big 2009 tournament. Unfortunately, three teams were no shows for this tournament, and it left a stain on the hard work we did to prep for this. Also, we were riding high on our 2009 London finish and brought another competitive team down to Ohio. We unfortunately couldn’t recreate our magical run and won only two games. One bright spot in 2010 was towards the end of the summer we finally realized we had enough interest to form a league for the next year.

#5  -  2012

2012 started out great. We grew to ten teams, we split into divisions, we implemented new rules that helped tremendously, and we were establishing ourselves as one of the premier leagues in the country. The good times didn’t last long though. Early in the season was filled with forfeits and complaints. The DeLoppes quit which caused a headache for everyone but even more so for the league office. The Commissioner’s Cup was won by forfeit. It was just a weird season. Some of the bright spots were the inaugural NWLA tournament where Big Wood finished in 3rd place. The first ever John Hill for the Thrill and All Star game were also a success and we also had a good time in the HalloWiffle game. It really was a year of ups and downs.

#4  -  2011

2011 was the year we started Wiffle in Southeast Michigan. We didn’t know what to expect, but I remember talking with the league office after the season and giving our first season a solid ‘B’ grade. We had some times of stress, but in the end it wasn’t a disaster. The playoffs didn’t go very smooth, but we learned from them. We had two pretty successful tournaments before and after the season. The latter tournament included guys from the Whiteford Wiffle Association and Manchester Wiffleball League, who later joined in 2012. London was a complete failure, as our only win came from a forfeit. There is a reason this year is right in the middle and it’s because it was just kind of ehhhh.

#3  -  2009

Even I am surprised 2009 was ranked ahead of two WSEM seasons, but things just went right this year. After three years away from competitive wiffleball, it was brought back in 2009. At BMS we went all out on building a field in between the tennis courts and track formerly known as Gill Yards, and named this new field Pacman Park. We then hosted an eight team, double elimination tournament that was extremely popular. To this day that is easily my favorite tournament I have ever hosted. I also traveled to three tournaments that year. London was played in October, and we brought a team that somehow made a deep run. To this day it’s the only year we have ever won a London playoff game, and we won three this year. It was simply a fun, stress-free year of wiffle for me.

#2  -  2013

I made some decisions early in 2013 that at first kind of looked bad, but I think ultimately helped our league. First, I decided to fold the Flying Squirrels franchise which made our league drop to eight teams. Second, I decided to have a four team playoff instead of eight. We had some drama with the Ducks, but for the most part all eight teams involved this year were great. The playoffs were finally a success, and the Wicked Aces won back to back championships. HalloWiffle, For the Thrill, and the All-Star game were also a success, and we also added a HR derby that will be brought back in 2014. Slow in the Snow debuted this year, and is also going to be brought back. We struggled both in London and in the NWLA tournament, but not enough to damper my time on Ohio. 2013 was a very smooth year and easily my favorite of the three WSEM years.

#1  -  2005

How can I pick 2005 as my favorite season!?!? Besides Corbett and my brother, no one else involved now was even around then. I don’t care. It was just a carefree year of wiffleball and everything I approached was brand new for me. It was the first year we built a real field, and it was a beautiful site to be seen. It was the year we hosted our first tournament, and the tournament was actually pretty successful. It was the year we launched our first website, and although it was absolute crap, I was still proud of it. You know that first time you feel up a girl’s shirt? Well I compare 2005 to just that. For the first time I was getting a true taste of what competitive wiffleball in SE Michigan was like, and I loved every second of it. 2005 will be extremely tough to beat, but since 2013 came close, I think 2014 has a real good shot of taking that sacred #1 slot.

We find all of WSEM... Quilty

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

So, it's kinda cold outside. Here's a quilt to keep you warm!

Each square panel represents one of 108 WSEM players who have recorded 50 plate appearances in a season, or are a member of the incoming 2014 rookie class. The colors indicate the different franchises to which the player has belonged, and the portion of his career spent with each. Solid color panels can represent either rookies or loyal one-team veterans. Vertical halves are used to identify a two-year player who has moved around, vertical thirds for a three-year player, and quadrants for a player who has been with WSEM since our first rodeo four years ago. Further division of one of those segments indicates a mid-season trade.

65 of the 108 panels are a solid color: meaning 60% of players have belonged to only one franchise. When the 12 incoming rookies are excluded from this, however, the percentage of all players in WSEM to have ever called a different clubhouse home increases to 45%.
How many of these players can you recognize from their panel?

AK

BW

CC

DK

DU

EL

FS

HB

IS

JM

KF

MP

ON

WW

WA

WD

WO

Pitching FTW

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

There are few certainties in wiffleball. The wind can turn a game into a slugfest or a marathon pitcher’s duel. A batter can stick his bat out with his eyes closed and knock it over a short porch. A below average fielder can even throw out a runner at home from 80 feet away with a peg to the strike zone. However, after three seasons of WSEM I have learned one thing: pitching wins.

Pearson dominated in 2011 and led Git r’ Done to a championship before the rotation rule was set. The Bischoff brothers did the same in 2012 for the Aces. 2013 saw Evan Bortmas as the Aces #4 pitcher, so guess who won that year? I am not shocking anyone here with earth shattering scientific analysis, this is common sense stuff. It is simply tough to win it all if you do not have a deep, dominant pitching staff.

Can you still win with good, not great pitching? Yes, look at the Holy Balls last season. Chris Paquin stepped in as the ace with a revolving door of #2 pitchers and they won 18 games. Can you have great pitching and still lose? Yes, look at the 2012 Mattseals who had a 1.66 team ERA and finished in 6th place.

Not every roster is set for 2014, but you can plainly see which teams are set at pitching and which teams have question marks. I look at the ten teams and can break them all into three categories: ‘Scary Good’, ‘Could be Good’, and ‘Who Knows?’ I also ranked each team’s top 3 guys, and also gave them a grade. It is January though, so don’t take anything too seriously.

Who Knows?

Onanism These guys epitomize the ‘Who Knows’ category. In 2013, a lot of really solid pitchers didn’t reach the 30 inning mark which you need to qualify for league leader categories, so when it was all said and done Kiefer Haffey finished 3rd in ERA. He isn’t a top 3 pitcher nor is he a top 10 pitcher, but he is a solid #2 or #3 option on a competing team. In judging their top 3, I just picked out two rookies to join Kiefer. Top 3 1. Kiefer Haffey 2. Dan Simms 3. Nick Hool Grade: Incomplete

King Friday I do have a pretty good idea that King Friday’s pitching situation will be less than good, but they do have some question marks that could surprise us. 75% of the roster took 2013 off after playing in 2012, so maybe a year off has helped guys like Tristan Birotte or Ryan Hurd Jr. Also, they did sign a rookie named Rich Beach who is very enthusiastic about playing this year. He could be lightning in a bottle. Top 3 1. Rich Beach 2. Tristan Birotte 3. Ryan Hurd Jr. Grade: D-

Belgian Wiffles Belgian lacked an identity on the mound in 2013, but for the upcoming season they will rely on a nice combination of proven veterans and hopeful rookies. No one knows how good Travis Strojny and Stephen Farkas will be, but they will be given a lot of innings early in the season to show their worth. Nick Braden and even Josh Nagorski will also get a lot of innings on the hill. Top 3 1. Travis Strojny 2. Stephen Farkas 3. Nick Braden Grade: C-

Flying Squirrels Much of what I said about the Belgian Wiffle pitching can be said about the Flying Squirrels. They have rookies and veterans and it is unknown if they will mesh. One thing is different though, their rookies did pitch in the Flying Squirrels invitational and one of them (Kevin Doby) pitched well. Doby will join Jason Hewlett as their expected 1-2 punch, and I assume newly acquired Zac Adams will also be in the mix. Top 3 1. Jason Hewlett 2. Kevin Doby 3. Zac Adams Grade: C

Could be Good

Wolfpack The Wolfpack have some of the most athletic players in the league, but can those athletes pitch? I am very curious to see who will emerge as the team’s ace in the upcoming season. Mark Brannan has the most pitching experience and tied for 2nd in strike outs in 2013. Andrew Piasecki is being hyped up and Nicco Lollio is going to get his chance as well. There were some rumors they might sign a rookie or two to pitch, but those rumors have fizzled out as of late. Top 3 1. Mark Brannan 2. Andrew Piasecki 3. Nicco Lollio Grade: C+

Islanders The Islanders are capable of winning any game Will Mundel starts, but when he is absent or when their #2 pitches, they are usually the underdog. Alex Linebrink always seems to find new guys, and he is rumored to have found some in the YMCA league his team won over the fall. Right now Linebrink and Murtha are penciled in as the #2 and #3, but I have a feeling they will find a rookie stud to pair up with Mundel. They could be really dangerous. Top 3 1. Will Mundel 2. Alex Linebrink 3. Matt Murtha Grade: B-

Holy Balls You can call Dennis Pearson an ace, but he is now a borderline elite guy. He will still get his wins and strike outs, but walking in runs is always a concern with him. With that said, did the Holy Balls improve in pitching? Of course. Let’s just imagine this scenario. The Holy Balls reach the #4 vs. #5 one game playoff and Dennis Pearson is on the mound. He gives them a chance to win against anyone. The rest of the roster is filled with guys who can pitch if needed, and Phillip Morris is rumored to complete their roster. Paquin is the obvious #2, and Corbett, Lewis, and Dylan Braden have all pitched well in the past. Top 3 1. Dennis Pearson 2. Chris Paquin 3. Brandon Corbett Grade: B

Scary Good

Westside Warriors This isn’t an article about player’s availability, but of course that is on everyone’s mind when talking about the Westside Warriors. Bortmas and Hatt are reunited and you cannot forget about their historic 2012 season where they went a combined 20-2. Bortmas could have a chip on his shoulder after the Aces demoted him to their #4 pitcher in 2013. Hatt came back from injury last year and was his dominant self. David Castle is a very nice #3 and will no doubt be called upon a lot. Top 3 1. Sam Hatt 2. Evan Bortmas 3. David Castle Grade: A-

El Diablos I do believe El Diablos have the best 1-2 punch in the league, but after that there’s a huge drop off. Luckily for them, Chandler and Skinner have always been very committed and do not miss many games. The dominant duo had a combined 21 starts in 2013, and if they are near that number in 2014 they will be at or near the 20 win mark. Dakota LaDouceur went 2-0 last year and will probably start a few games this upcoming season to give Chandler and Craig some rest. Top 3 1. Craig Skinner 2. Chandler Phillips 3. Dakota LaDouceur Grade: A

Whiteford Wicked Aces The ace of this team was just named the best pitcher in the entire country and doesn’t need an introduction. Little E is arguably the most underrated pitcher in the league and keeps getting better. RJ Fisher is another underrated guy who I believe is a top 5 pitcher in the league. When you play the Aces you never get an easy game. Crozier and Hughes aren’t slacks either and will get some innings. Wicked Aces sure is a well suited name for the two-time defending champs. Top 3 1. Austin Bischoff 2. RJ Fisher 3. Evan Bischoff Grade: A+