News Conference: Commandos Call in the Cavalry!

Adam Grant  at the podium

Campus Commandos suffered a few rough losses this season. Never one to let my team go down for the count, I had a plan to lead us to the biggest upset in wiffleball history. Armed with a winning attitude –– and a new haircut to match –– I set out to turn our team around.

Campus Commandos needed a boost. We are a big market team that has fans that aren’t afraid to let management know it wants wins. We have a field similar to Fenway that is historic yet falling apart. After all it was built in 1956 and deemed a United States historic district. Look it up! The uniforms were phase 1 of my plan. That sparked merchandise sales to put gas in the tank to go on a recruiting road trip.

Grant parades out his new signings, Mott (left) and Mitchell (right)

I found the one-two punch we needed in an unlikely place: the football field.

One look at Andrew Mott and Marty Mitchell, and I knew we could skip tryouts. I felt like Don King watching “The Greatest” walking into the ring. Rumbbbble in the Jungle. Thrilla in Manilla. Be a part of history.

Now making his way to the ring, at 6’0”, weighing in at 181 lbs and hailing from Paulding, OH...Andrew “The Bonfire” Mott! Andrew was named First-Team All-Northwest Ohio and was tabbed as the area’s best wide receiver by the Van Wert Voice.

And from the red corner, at 6’1” and weighing in at 208 lbs, he hails from Dearborn, MI...Marty “The Rival” Mitchell! Marty is currently a student at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, PA. In high school, he was ranked as the #5 QB in the state of Michigan by rivals.com.

Andrew and Marty led Campus Commandos to three straight wins last weekend. Our once-lackluster lineup is now a force to be reckoned with, and we’re heading into the playoffs with fresh, hungry talent. (Note: In order to avoid going over the CAP, the Commandos have released Dan Egan.)

The gauntlet has been thrown.

Team Tuesdays: Campus Commandos

by Brandon Corbett

The Campus Commandos roster is straight out of Field of Dreams. Adam Grant built a field in downtown Detroit, and grown men wander out of the streets in droves to relive the baseball glory days of their youth. Substitute the corn for a city skyline and it is an exact recreation. The guys who show up may not be playing for world championships or making national headlines with their play, but they are in their own little world. And when the camera pans out over the field you can see headlights lined up for miles; even if that is just traffic backed up leaving Comerica Park. Hell, had Rick Snyder not chased the film industry out of the state, I bet we could have even gotten James Earl Jones down for an afternoon. So, just who are these players who appear on WSEM's urban Field of Dreams, LaFayette Park? Well, the Commandos have a doctor, Kelly Walsh, who, like his movie counterpart, only appeared in one game last season before being unable to return. Grant has said Walsh will be available to play more frequently in 2012, which is just the hint of stability this revolving door of a roster needs after the loss of two part-time players and last year's number-one pitcher to cross-divisional rival, the Donkeys. Last season saw nine players with less than ten games played, while only three players appeared full-time. Alex Linebrink pitching at Frenchtown Field Two full-timers are returning for 2012: captain Adam Grant and Alex Linebrink. Linebrink is a southpaw who grooved into the number-two pitcher role for the Commandos in 2011. His season numbers may not be pretty (8.78 ERA, 3.41 WHIP, 64 BB : 51 K), but Alex shows promise on the mound and got better as the season progressed. In the month of July his ERA was half of that: 4.47. Alex also turned his K/BB ratio around in July, posting 38 K to only 25 BB. That progression is important for the Commandos, as preaseason chatter names Linebrink as the opening day number-one starter. If he is able to find a rhythm, as a lefty he can be a nuissance on the outside corner to a predominately right-handed league, much like first-team NWLA pitcher Cliff Comstock of the DeLoppes. Finding a steady number-two should be the big concern for the Commandos at pitcher.

Pfefferle in the box at LaFayette Park Offensively, the Commandos best returning hitter is Eric Pfefferle, who played in eight games last season. Eric's AVG is underwhelming at .229, however his OBP and SLG% hover right around the league average at .426 and .400, respectively. That is the trend team-wide, as well, with OBP being twice a player's AVG. Adam Grant was atop the league with 40 BB, and Linebrink was directly behind him with 34. Clearly, these Commandos are patient at the plate and get runners on base. Grant has a healthy list of names who will play at least a few games this season: Dave Crechilio, Brian Bandemmer, Patrick Minch, and Daniel Egan to name a few; if some of these part-time players can bring big bats with them, then that may be solution enough to their offensive woes.

It is hard to make a prediction with so many unknowns for the 2012 Campus Commandos. With a year under his belt, though, Adam Grant is approaching the game with a new attitude and better understanding. To paraphrase from another famous group of famous commandos: that is half the battle.

Supplemental: Another unknown for the Commandos is their own "Wiffle Centipede." In December the Commandos made a huge acquisition in free agent pitcher, Steven "Céspedes" Harris. Harris is sold as having been putting on amazing displays of outstanding pitching for many years. The first dose of unknown, though, is that - like Yoenis Céspedes Milanés - nobody has seen Harris play to confirm his skills on the mound. Still, like "the Cuban Centipede" again, everyone is buying the hype as realiy, and believing the Commandos have made a home run signing. However, there is a second dose of unknown in this story. After signing his deal to come to the organized leagues, Steve Harris went on a vision quest to prepare himself. He removed himself from the internet, gave his phone to charity, and reportedly set off on foot to climb the first mountain he could find. We are assuming he did not mean Mt. Trashmore, Holly, nor even Boyne, and is heading west through the desert to cleanse his soul before his ascent. Nothing is known of his condition or whereabouts. Will he surface before the season? Will his slider be even stronger after his journey? Is he alive? All of these questions have the same non-answer. So, we wait to see.

Oh, Hey Todd.

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

So far this season WSEM has gotten away virtually Todd free it seems. You remember Todd, right? So, where has he been? The DeLoppes have played all of their games in the friendly confines of Frenchtown Field, and you can confidently say that the little specter's one-nutted curse has not affected them. Likewise the Commandos, who will play their first road games this weekend, have rather been blessed with what many believe is an overachieving .500 record at home to start the season. Who knows? Maybe the wretched weather we have had over the start of most of the season made him decide to loom over India a bit longer after the World Cup of Cricket for a rash of spontaneous holiday haunting. Or maybe he has been here all along and was the weather that has been plaguing us. Well wherever Todd has been, his hex unquestionably made its first huge supernatural play against the home team in WSEM league games.

The Westside Warriors opened their Westside Reservation on Sunday with what was to be a four game series against Git r' Done. However, they only played two, and only five complete innings at that. No, it was not on behalf of the weather; it was high 70s and sunny. It was at the behest of the de-balled and bereft Todd. The Warriors were mercied quickly in both games, and just as swiftly the minds of the team were distracted and floating this way and that on anything but the game. At one point Warriors outfielder Nick Woods was seen texting on his phone in the field, possessed by Todd who was likely prank texting the Detroit Cricket Club; the records of the texts in question have yet to be released to prove this. The sense of "don't wanna be here" ectoplasm emanating off the Warriors is the most severe amplification of Todd's abilities to affect the concentration and skill level of a wiffleball home team yet seen. Maybe he brought back some new tricks from his recent stint in India?

Nick Woods caught on film possessed by Todd sending spooky,
yet horribly out-dated with early 80s slang text messages.

One thing is undeniable about Todd since his return, though: he is much more thorough, much more ruthless, he is not after-living within limits or playing by any rules. Not only did he destroy the Warriors' will to win or compete on the field, but his twisted hex followed the players into the clubhouse and in its insatiable evil is threatening to disenfranchise the team. Literally. Disenfranchise: as in to no longer be a franchise. The team's complacent, unenthusiastic attitude has pushed captain Alex Shore about as far as he is willing to go. Alex, for his part, seems to be immune to Todd's non-corporeal wiles; or maybe Todd's just such a sick bastard now that he just wants to watch someone suffer while he intertwines his tricks. Whether or not Alex is the chosen one to ultimately defeat Todd or if he is just another pawn, talk over the past week has set in motion the possible folding of his Westside Warriors and signing with another team to finish the 2011 season and beyond. I suppose we can answer the "where has Todd been" question, though: in Farmington, nefariously plotting. He seems to have put all the pieces in place and pulled the strings perfectly to enact his plan and exact his revenge.

Is this hooded figure Todd admiring his handiwork
from the outfield at the Westside Reservation?

What a motherfucker! But even if Todd is able to take down one of our teams with his curse, we will not let it infect, hang over, or haunt the rest of the league or this season. If it comes to it, we will play with seven teams; one or two of whom's roster will get a great pick-me-up addition and new found life in the clubhouse. What will not happen is that we will not let losing one team mean we lose the league, our simultaneous sense of comradery and competition, or site of what we want WSEM to become. Sure, looking at the standings week after week and seeing that team permanently relegated to the 8th spot will be disappointing, but it doesn't weaken the league. It could actually do a couple things to boost the competition and mentality of the league: 1) There would be a play-off bye to shoot for, so teams may fight for that through the last day of the season. 2) The level of enthusiasm off the field and energy on the field would jump through the roof (if we had a domed field). The players who would be lost were apathetic about the game and league, but the ones who would stay to picked up by other teams would be playing out of their minds to prove themselves and show their former teammates what they left behind. So, everyone who remains in WSEM is enthusiastic and involved in the league, all about it. Try and find something bad about that!

In the Cards #2: Eric Pfefferle

In the Cards #2: Eric Pfefferle
Campus Commandos

Eric Pfefferle is primed for a card in that he is largely unknown throughout the league. Hell, the commissioner just called him "Pfeiffer" on the last podcast... Not that being referred to in the company of Michelle is necessarily the worst thing. It's just that he is so low under the radar that if the nickname "Pfeiffer" doesn't stick, then "the Stealth Bomber" has a real good shot.

The "bomber" part of that nickname is every bit as viable as the "stealth," too. In 4 games played and 24 AB Eric has 2 HR, 7 RBI, 7 RS, a .500 SLG%, and a .419 OBP. Okay, so these aren't world beating stats, but they are a solid, dependable strike toward getting the job done in concert with his team. Pfefferle has also proven himself capable of coming through in the clutch when behind enemy lines, err... I mean behind on the scoreboard; it was a hit off his bat with the bases loaded that left the yard at Lafayette Park to tie the first game with the Westside Warriors on May 20th and was responsible for sending it to extra innings for 3 hours and 12 innings worth of wiffleball. One last poor stealth bomber comparison and a segue into the next shoddy metaphor: Eric lives in Perrysburg, OH, but plays his home games for the Campus Commandos in Detroit. So, whenever he comes to play he is being sortied across borders on long round-trip missions. You know he wants to make those miles worth it by winning and doing his part in the batters box.

While at Lafayette Park or other WSEM fields Eric is a stealth bomber, in Ohio Mr. Pfefferle is a staff accountant working in tax services. Am I now going to say that makes him an accountable player, or that he knows the numbers and how to run them? Maybe he knows how to hide his teams' assets so they can better use them on the down-low? Or that he just knows how to keep everything balanced? Yes, I will. Consider this entire paragraph as something I just said, because I did, and Eric can and will do all of those things. Just watch. You thought we were outing his wiffle abilities with this article so that he won't be able to surprise you on the field, but you're not that lucky. He has behind the scenes talents that no one can know... until it's too late.

Silly word play aside, Eric's a good guy whose following of sports is equally as good. He loves himself some Lions and Wings, dislikes the Penguins, can't sympathize with millionaires feeling they are underpaid, will call out a manager who consistently goes on streaks of making poor-to-horrible decisions, loves finding gems of pre/post-game quotes (usually those with a laughable-to-ridiculous twist), and won't miss the chance to celebrate while rubbing in a win. Oh yeah, Pfefferle can also rip off some great one-liners that come soaked in sarcasm and the sound effect "zing!" Some examples from his facebook page: Kentucky Derby Day... the only day of the year when people in Kentucky get to see a full set of teeth. ... [accompanying a picture of the rail transit at Metro]Amazing... Detroit Metro Airport has as much of a mass transit system as the City of Detroit! ... It could just be the weather in Detroit, but I think hell just froze over because the Lions won!

Have to say, though, Eric's best quality, like any good ballplayer worth his weight in the dirt he wears home, could be his love for three things that really are one thing: Detroit Beer Company, Jameson, and lunch booze.

Eric's 2011 stats (as of May 27th) to complete the card treatment:

Player	PA	AB	H	BB	HR	RS	AVG	OBP	SLG	RBI
Eric Pfefferle	31	24	6	7	2	7	.250	.419	.500	7

Team Tuesdays: Campus Commandos

The story behind the formation of the Campus Commandos is a kindred spirit to that of the genesis of Wiffle in Southeast Michigan. Team captain, Adam Grant, played in a tournament in East Lansing. He was placed on the roster of a team called the Jackson 5, and they battled through the long journey of the losers’ bracket and ended up in second place. Adam fell in love with the game, and after moving to Detroit after college he wondered if he could find a way to continue wiffling. Now, I will turn it over to Adam for a minute, so he can tell you, himself, how he found our league and started putting his team together.

Like any Gen Y’er, I Googled it. My search turned up the league Wiffle in Southeast Michigan. I called anyone in my cell phone to put a team together. No one on the team is going to make the MLB, but I am pretty sure if we hit the ball with all our strength it will just get over the fence. 'Beginners Luck! Beginners Luck,' the rest of the league will shout as we start moving up the leader board!

Adam Grant (far left) making his wiffle debut in East Lansing

Well, maybe no one will be going to the MLB, but at least one of his recent free agent pick-ups, Joe Seto, is a pitcher who could well be on his way to the WSEM all-star team. In two Downriver Wiffle tournaments Seto has a 4-1 record and a 2.18 ERA, and only allowing 1 ER in 12 innings (0.41 ERA) in his most recent performance. Damien Rogers, another everyday player recently slotted into the Commandos, calls himself, “a team player who likes to just play. Competitive.” [Edit: Damien is now a member of the Newport Ass Kickers, where he will bring another everyday, consistent player to the roster.] Don’t be fooled when you look at the Commandos’ lineup. It is a huge list of names, but like Adam said: he called everyone in his phone to put a team together. He is not sure how regularly most of his roster will be available, so the addition of everyday, every play guys like Seto and Rogers are a big help to both the team, and Adam’s sanity.

Adam and Commissioner Carl Coffee share similar stories with how they came to the game of wiffleball: they each played in a tournament, fell in love with it, and wanted to find a way to play more. For Carl it took awhile, but he has managed to put together a league of the best wiffle talent in five Michigan counties. While it may take some experimentation and adjustment early on along with the fun on the field, Adam definitely brings a tremendous excitement to the game and if his wiffleball story continues at the same beat as WSEM's, there is no ceiling to the level the Campus Commandos could be competing at by the end of this 2011 season or what they could accomplish.

Thanks to Adam for letting us know about his background with wiffle and how he came to find us. To repay that favor, here is Adam again to tell you some information about his college student’s advertising blog, from where his team takes their name:

While I have your attention. If you know of any company that needs help reaching the college demographic let me know. http://www.campuscommandos.com - The Campus Commandos may one day afford a billboard in a MLB stadium, but for now we will take the shameless promotion on this blog! - Adam Grant

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/campus-commandos.html

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
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