Dressed to the 14s

Your Junk my Happy Zone
by Brandon Corbett

Three teams have released their 2014 jersey designs so far: Belgian Wiffles, Holy Balls, and Westside Warriors. I'll break down what those looks bring to the table first, before jumping into rumors, expectations, and "PLEASE, make this happen!" hopes for the rest of the league. The sets known for the three teams have already included some surprises and clever, new ideas. Could WSEM be on our way to the best looking season on the fields, as well the most competitive? Read on and be the judge.




The Belgian Wiffles kicked off the 2014 jersey releases in time for Slow in the Snow. It's the team's third different look in three years, which is fitting for the team's third roster turnover in three years. At first glance the most notable thing about the 2014 design is the use of the fun "Swinging Butterworth" logo below a playful script on the front. In a sense, it's a combination of both prior looks - team name only, big logo only. At the same time it's completely different from both. The most innovative aspect of the jersey is the yellow-on-yellow number on the back. It doesn't sound like it should work, but it does, so well. It's quickly become my favorite part of this look. #SuckIt Butterworth!



This Holy Balls design seemingly came out of nowhere. Up until the night it was unveiled all talk hinted at only a "minor update" coming to their 2013 design. The reason for the overhaul is best summed up by Dylan Braden, "Gotta switch it up. New (roster), new jerseys." That switch up? Big balls. Literally. Their logo is blown up to cover the full shirt. The four holes from their original Wiffle ball design take center stage across the chest, occupying the space you'd normally expect to see the team name, as well as on the back above the numbers. The old English "HB" secondary logo also sees its first real-world use in a sort of Tigers-meets-Blue Jays application on the lower front of the jersey. This design is certainly out-of-the-box, since it clearly won't let itself fit inside of one.
Update: We now have photos of the actual jerseys: front and back, detail.



Before this year's redesign the Westside Warriors had worn the same design on a couple templates, contrast piping and solid black, since 2010. That design won the "best dressed" award in 2011. Big shoes to fill. How does the new look measure up? Well, for starters, the update of the Warrior head logo is a rousing upgrade. The Evan Bortmas original is heavy on the details: the sexiest being the Wiffle ball incorporated into the headdress. The new black jersey features their logo much more prominently than the design it replaces, overlapping the Warriors script even. Westside is the first team to announce two jerseys for 2014. Their second shirts again go big logo style, using their secondary roundel, which stole the show during the unveil, on grey. The black numbers outlined in orange on both jerseys will be especially interesting on the black, where they'll look either amazing or be a nightmare to read. Overall the new look is a bolder one; fitting for a team thrusting themselves into championship discussions.



El Diablos have said they'll be wearing grey jerseys with teal graphics. Which of their logos or scripts they use and where is anyone's guess. They are getting their shirts through Nike or UnderArmor, though, so one thing we know for sure: the company's branding will be every bit as apparent as El Diablos'.

As with much of what's happening with the Flying Squirrels, there has been no word on what direction the team will take with their jerseys. Light blue? Brown? Script? A "Tipsy" crest? Debut of the Wiff-acorn? The Squirrels have gone through a lot of historical laundry, Sessions could easily dip back into that. He also has the entire logo catalog to play with, though, so could just as easily come up with something entirely new.

What we know from the Islanders camp is that they will not bring back the white/black raglans. It's a loss from a style perspective, but the reasoning for it is hard to argue with: long sleeves are a poor clothing decision in the summer.

King Friday will likely don red shirts again, and I'd be surprised to see use them use anything other than their KF logo, as done in 2012, or the wiffled shield from last season. One thing to cross fingers and anxiously await here: might the outlined numbers from 2012 return?

Oakland County Onanism are another in the unknown category. Grey or green are their options, and we're heavily rooting for green, since it will be a unique color on the fields this season. Throw on the O and excretion logo in white or grey, and voila!

The Whiteford Wicked Aces already have three jerseys in their lockers, so it's possible they don't make any additions or changes. However, since their debut in the 2011 fall tournament they have added a new jersey each season. They also have another streak going on during that same time frame. Sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on, ya know?

We know for certain that the Wolfpack will not wear radiant orchid, the color of the year. Like with the Onanism, we hope they go with orange over grey to make themselves stand out on the fields. What we REALLY hope is that they go with the amazing piece of handiwork pictured to the right! (Get them here, Hollister.)

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