Field of Crazy Dreams

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Oh, historic Dodger Stadium… how you bore me: 315’ down the lines, 385’ to the power alleys, and 395’ to center, perfectly symmetrical, a field so perfectly generic and without character. This is the field Nickelback or a politician would design for you: overly precise, methodical, not one single thought even beginning to approach any side of the box. C’mon! How about a short porch? A tall wall? An overhung upper deck? Any kind of outfield upper deck? Involve a building somehow? Hell, I will even take a façade! Maybe do some drugs and put a hill out there? Or lose the drugs, let the mind breathe for a second, and lay out the dimensions like you didn’t live on the edge of a mirror?

I like design. I like using your imagination and bringing in some character to a project. Circles, ellipses, and boxes do nothing for me; make something that catches the eye, give the batters something to aim for when they hit the long flies, make something spectacular. For the most part the MLB fields have been doing a better job of this recently. Houston’s got it, for sure, with the short porch, train, arches, flag pole in play, and of course that hill. Nice targets for batters, fun with dimensions, and one really strange gimmick. Sure, the older “out of the box” stadiums have built their own undeniable charm from the exploits of those who became legends on the field. The players’ blood, sweat, and accomplishment absorbed into the stadiums bringing them to life.* The new generation fields seemingly spring up from the ground with their own life and character already created, simply because of their aesthetic appeal.

When building a wiffleball field there is unlimited potential for what you can do. You can find an open field and put up any kind of fence you have or can find in any shape that comes to mind. You can find a location that has elements already in place that can be part of your fence, and just fill in the gaps with whatever creativity and supplies you have. While the merits and versatility of the open-field style are indisputable, it is the latter, building a field into the existing elements of a location, that I think really gives a field character and life of its own, like the new generation MLB ballparks. When you build into and off of a location you are letting the field tell you what it wants to be, and you listen to it. Invariably that give and take results in unique quirks, and births the personality of the field.

Of the three fields Carl and I have constructed together only Danger Field was an “open field” design. Admittedly, the design was fairly tame as our first attempt at building a wiffleball field. The Rodney was 85’ down the left field line, 80’ to right, and center peaked at either 95’ or 100’. Most of the outfield fence was orange snow fencing and was set up as an unremarkable ellipse from the right field line over to left-center. Left-field, though, had its charms: a three-tiered monster, built from various chain-link construction fences. That tall wall was the appeal and pride of the Downriver Wiffleball League, and we keep a piece of it alive and with us to this day. The Rodney had one more incredibly impressive feature to its name: 30’ foul poles! The “Danger monster” and towering foul poles gave Danger Field character, but the fact that it was the first field we built, played on, and put so much heart into magnified that character into a fascinating, larger-than-life personality.

Pacman Park, our second major undertaking, was a completely different beast. In the four-year gap between playing we had lost the snow fencing and two of the three Rodney segments, and we were too broke to afford new fencing materials. We knew from past tournaments that we could build a field on the opposite side of the tennis courts from where the Rodney had been, and would not need many supplies to complete a home run fence. Right field was built around a corner of the tennis court fence: 12’ high, cutting 8’ into the field of play, and then running away quickly at a sharp angle into right-center. Left-field was a 3’ high track fence following the curve of the track out into left-center. Oh yeah, and these lines were laughably short: 68’ to right, 78’ to left. Left-center and right field got to a respectable 90’, but to counteract the short distances of the lines we drove subdivision streets on garbage nights looking for fencing materials that would be capable of making center field into right-center incredibly deep. Mission accomplished. We found a span of wooden posted fence that looked like it came off a farm long enough to build a fence that stretched back to 124’ in deep right-center.

After playing on the field a few times it became apparent no one was going to hit near that depth, not even with the aluminum bat we allowed at that time. So, we left open a 10’ segment in the new fence when we constructed it and used 12” high garden fencing to form a triangular “mouth” cutting into the field. This is a good time to mention, too, that because we left open the span in right center, there was left over fence that curled into a circle, or "an eye," where it met the track fence in deep left-center. The mouth and the eye made Pacman the only possible name. The mouth provided a lot of interesting scenarios in the game. Including the chance for crazy diving plays, batters getting screwed by missing one foot to either the right or left, and times where spectators were sitting in front of the game action. For that last one the mouth earned the nickname, “the best seat in sports.” Unlike the Rodney, Pacman got its character from the location it was shoehorned into, the disparity of long and short fences, and crazy center field gimmicks, not just the effort we put into it.

Four of our teams are constructing unique home fields this year. Go crazy! Have fun building them, guys! Assembling the fields you play on can be as much fun as playing on them. In a way it is almost like creating your own super villain, since whatever you put out there has the chance to screw you over at some point during the season. Although, since you built it, maybe you know how to beat it. Build to your team’s strengths, or your opponents weaknesses. Get creative and do something ridiculous: a strangely shaped wall, an outrageous distance, random asymmetry, or something that is just complete nonsense. Wiffleball is a weird, wacky game at times. Do yourself the favor and erect your field as a monument to that!

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Kevin Costner's Stunt Double

Scorekeeping 101

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

So, I’ll admit it: this is a misstep right at the start. Keeping track of the league's stats does not fall into my happy zone whatsoever! Although, that is in large part due to a lot of the junk that you guys out there are responsible for. So, there is that, at least. Don’t get me wrong, having all the stats to look over, assess your performance, and compare yourself to your league rivals is awesome and provides hours, sometimes days, and even lost weeks of fun. It’s just that our scoresheets are set up in a way that makes keeping score so simple, yet you guys still find a few absolutely befuddling ways to make a mess of it; forcing us to insert a bit of guesswork into the finals numbers, which is obviously not optimal. Having accurate and properly recorded stats is every bit as important as your play on the field, since the stats will go down in history as what you really did on the field… whether or not it is what you really did. So, consider this article your academic requirement before being allowed on a WSEM field of play, as I am going to lay out the proper way of filling out these scoresheets to ensure that all of the stats get done correctly, so we will have a proper history of the season. First, though, a little catharsis before getting into it: some of the comically all too common mistakes, or just asinine things people screw up or overlook.

The number-one most frustrating thing people do, or rather do not do is keep track of pitchers entering and exiting the game. If you do not let us know who is pitching and when, we sure as hell cannot represent your pitchers properly in the stats. In the past I have seen games where three pitchers were used, but when I look at the scoresheet later to work on the stats only one pitcher is written down. So, am I supposed to give him all the credit, or do I have to CSI through the at-bats to try and figure out when the switches were made? More commonly, people are nice enough to write down all the pitchers’ names, yet they still forget to put down the point at which he took the mound! So, this still leaves determining that important detail up to complete guesswork, and frustration. Even though our past version of the scoresheet was already simple with “put name here and inning here,” we’ve made a modification that should simplify the direction of what you are supposed to write down even more. I will highlight that later in the detailed teaching seminar section.

The second most frustrating, all too common, and ridiculous thing people do is actually a combination of two oversights. The first of which is not writing the final score on the sheet. Now, on its face that does not seem too difficult, since you should just be able to look through the innings and locate all the runs pretty easily, right? Wrong. Far too often people will be in a hurry, thinking about the game or other things, and while marking the hit will forget to draw the diamond to track a runner’s progress on the base path or shade it in when the runner scores. One game in the June 2010 tournament really sticks out because of this. Team A won the game and moved on in the playoffs and Team B went home, but in the official stats Team B’s pitcher was awarded a win and Team A’s a loss; all because A’s runs in the 4th inning were not marked. We realized the mistake and fixed it quickly, but for about a week Team B had a phantom win on their record! Now c’mon we are playing a kids game, the least we can do is draw and color in some diamonds; we are not even asking you to stay in the lines! Just like with the simplified and more apparent direction given to the pitchers section, we have added a “Final Score” box and made adjustments to the at-bat entry columns on the sheet to make it even more obvious what each square is to be used for. Details on what to do with both of those are coming in just a minute, as we move on to the learning part.

Here is the scoresheet for 2011. Bask in it, bathe with it, paper your walls with it, draw little “I *heart* WB” doodles in the columns of a copy you carry with you. Pay attention, there will be a quiz: 28 of them to be exact. Use one scoresheet for a game: your lineup on one side, and your opponent's on the reverse.

When you take your first look at the “revamped to be even easier for 2011” scoresheet the first thing you will probably notice is that it has a listing for twelve players, and you will say to yourself, “don’t teams only have four to six players on their roster?” Yes, but it is set up this way, so that if you have four players you can triple up the listing, and if you have five or six, then you can double up. Please, take advantage of the ability, as their will be many innings where you bat through your order and this allows you to keep an inning in one column and for the sheets to be read much more cleanly later on. So, that is simple enough right? Fill in the extra spaces with your batting order as many times as you can.

Slide back up the page for minute to something I am sure you overlooked or shrugged off as unimportant. “Date” and “Game #” may seem arbitrary in freely set scheduling, but they will allow us to keep track of winning and losing streaks, as well as properly keep track of how events of the season play out. So, write down the date on each sheet with month and date next to "Date" [i.e. 4/30, 6/11, etc.], and next to “Game #” indicate which game in sequence is being played against that team on that day [i.e. 1, 2…]. Next to those spaces there are two blanks separated by “vs.” Write your team’s name in the first space before “vs.” and the name of the opposing team in the space following. This is incredibly basic, I know, but you would be surprised how often this kind of stuff has been completely left out in the past.

Next, one of the most critical parts, slightly altered from last year: recording plate appearances. Under each inning notice there are two columns: the one on the left has lots of acronyms, and the one on the right is blank. For each plate appearance circle or mark the result of the plate appearance (K, HR, BB, etc.) in the left column. If the batter is out, do nothing with the right column. If the batter reaches base, begin drawing a diamond to track their progress around the basepaths in the right column; continue to draw their diamond as the inning advances. If they end up forced or tagged out, then stop their diamond’s progress at that point: you may choose to keep track of outs by marking a “1,” “2,” or “3” if you choose at this point, but it is not required. If the baserunner scores, remember to complete the diamond in their box and shade it in to make it easy to locate runs scored. When an inning ends draw a thick line under the last out to make it obvious when you come back up to bat next inning where to pick up in your lineup. So, there are a couple steps here, but all are pretty obvious, right? And you know they are important to get right, right? I know a game can get fast and hectic, but please, make sure to get this information written down; stats are a huge part of tracking the league, and if they are not handled properly, then we lose the validity of that. Also, notice we give you two extra innings, if you end up in a game that goes past the seventh inning, then move on to a second sheet; keep extras on hand. Just remember to include the sheet with those final innings with the first sheet of the game when you turn them in.

Simulated inning: Delano singles. McDonald out at first, Delano advances to second. Snow doubles,
scoring Delano. Bobby Hoppe walks. Chad Hoppe flies out. BJ Hoppe grounds out. Inning over.

Now, drop down to the lower left corner of the page to what is historically the most frequently screwed up part of scoring: pitchers. [I almost want to restate that sentence: Now, drop down to your knees and say your prayers if you can’t get this part right… but I'll just take breath…] There are six slots for pitchers in a game, and if you are using more than that, then you are probably not doing something right. At the start of the game, write in your team’s starting pitcher in the “1)” slot on your sheet; we know he is the starter, but just to get you in the habit of doing so write “1” in the “Inning Entered” box. When a new pitcher enters WRITE IN THEIR NAME, AND the point in the game at which they entered: i.e. they take the mound in the 4th inning with one out; write down “3 1/3.” Also, try to mark their entry on the opponent’s PA grid (reverse side of the sheet) with a quick comment (just their name for instance) in case they enter while a team is going through a string of batters with only one out. If the new pitcher comes in to start an inning, then write “0” in front of the “/3” just to keep in the habit.

Chad Hoppe starts the game. McDonald enters with 1 out in the 5th inning.

Finally, move your eyes a half-inch to the right: “Final Score.” You would be amazed how many scoresheets have been turned in without a final score written down. You would really expect at least one team to want those numbers to be known and reported, would you not? So, this year we are giving you this nice, centrally located box to hopefully remind you that you should write down the final score from now on. What we ask you to do here is incredibly simple: write the road team and their final score in the top row where it says “road,” and the home team with their final score in the bottom row where it says “home.”

Okay, so, you think you can handle that? Congratulations! You have now successfully kept score at a third grade level!

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Statistician Assassin

74

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

With this being our inaugural season of Wiffle in Southeast Michigan, we really do not know what to expect. After years of playing pick-up games, traveling across state lines to play in tournaments, and hosting our own tournaments, we have finally made enough wiffle connections to start an actual league. We have seven solid teams who will all be competitive, and with any luck that number will soon be eight. Oh yeah, and we also have a rivalry… Oh, do we have a serious rivalry! Two of our teams are made up entirely of high schoolers, and there is absolutely no love lost between these guys.

Git r’ Done made their debut in our August 2009 tournament and really did not make much of an impression. They went two and out, but still had a blast, got a taste for the game, and kept in touch. They returned the following year and had a shockingly deep run, finishing second at the Rally Around the Flag-a-Palooza tournament in June, making themselves a threat to be reckoned with. The Westside Warriors debuted in that same Flag-a-Palooza tournament and did pretty well, and then finished second at the Hoppe's in September with a three-man roster in their second tournament.

There are a lot of similarities in the teams’ on field successes: Git r’ Done’s 2010 record was 6-7, Westside’s was 7-6, and both have played in and lost a championship game, and boy-oh-boy do they like to throw around talk of their high points and head-to-head escapades. Since both of these teams are filled with Generation Yers, they are very active on the league's facebook page. Dennis Pearson, captain of Git r’ Done made a recent post boasting that he is pitching 74 mph and his pitches are "hittin the strike zone" and that post has produced an amazing string of 100 comments! Alex Shore and rookie Tom Heffernan of the Warriors led the charge to dispute Dennis's claims. Shore quickly stated, “last time I checked that 74 mph pitch was in the dirt and you issued more walks (than) the three day march for breast cancer,” and one of Tom’s first lashings, “I’m jackin two out on you. Don't worry I’ll watch for you hanging your head when I’m trotting around the bases.” Dennis held his ground: “don’t worry (you) won’t be able to hit it and it’s gunna be strike out city… (we’ll) see when (I’m) blowin it right pass (you) make (you) look stupid,” and Dennis even threw down a gauntlet for the Warriors, “don’t worry. If it’s against (you) guys (I’ll) make sure I pitch the whole day.” It has been incredibly entertaining to watch the rivalry build up, and many other league members have chimed in. Michael Constanti of the Ass Kickers shrugged off Dennis’s confidence mockingly, “bring that shit to my kitchen and (I’ll) put that in the train tracks at Constanti Field.” DeLoppes captain, Chad Hoppe, digs the enthusiasm, “I love how the West Side/ Git r’ Done rivalry didn’t miss a beat.... The damn season hasn't even started yet!” The back-and-forth trash talk between the younger teams has really started to ramp up the excitement for the start of the season.

A scene from the genesis of the Westside Warriors /
Git r' Done rivalry on field at the 2010 Flag-a-Palooza

Just what else, tangible, has this rivalry produced for the league, you ask? Well, Git r’ Done and the Westside Warriors are now scheduled to kick off the regular season on April 30th at Chad Hoppe’s field. Chad has proposed hosting a tri-meet, which will also include the DeLoppes, with each team playing two games against each other. Even though I am sure that the Warriors and Git r' Done will meet at the preseason tournament on April 16th, I still cannot wait to watch these guys play on opening day. In fact, the whole WSEM front office is opting out of playing on opening day to take in these three series and whatever fallout comes from them. WSEM Sec. of Defense, Brandon Corbett, issued a memo to me with this message, “April 30th, whatever time: I'm bringing peanuts, some choice adult beverages, kicking back and will be thrilled to watch these games go down! Carl, forewarning, even if it is opening day of the season, I'm taking 4/30 off as a vacation day,” and I agree one-hundred percent with his request!

So, as the founder and co-commissioner of this league, as well as captain of a squad, I for one am very excited to have such a heated rivalry in our ranks already. It is easily the number one storyline in the league going into the season, and I can't wait to see how it all pans out. Who do I think has the better team? Gun to my head, I would say the Warriors, but if Dennis has dialed in his accuracy, then he has the ability to be a star and change that prediction. There you have it, folks! Rivalries! Nothing else like them! The MLB has Red Sox/Yankees, college football has OSU/UofM, college basketball has Duke/UNC, and the WSEM has Warriors/Git r’ Done!

-

Carl Coffee

Flying Squirrels, 18, SS

Commissioner, League's Counselor, and all around Cool Guy

Team Tuesdays: Flying Squirrels

Founders… Before fabricating this feature, I first need to pour a treat from the Founders Brewing Co.; I often fall back on their Dirty Bastard as a standout favorite. Okay, now then… Founders! The Flying Squirrels are the team of the Wiffle in Southeast Michigan, and Downriver Wiffle before that, founders, Carl Coffee and Brandon Corbett. When you think of a founder, you usually think of a rock, tradition, unchanging. Well, forget that. This team’s history is a nightmare to follow! Just look at the list of team names used over the past 5 years: (The) Lugnuts, Don’t Parade in Our Rain, Jammers, Mike Babcock’s Hair, Skat Beletons, CoCoBuMu, and finally Flying Squirrels. The lineup has been shuffled around just as schizophrenically, including being two separate franchises early on. However, the current lineup of Coffee, Corbett, Jon McKinnie, and Matt Murtha, as well as the Flying Squirrels name, seem to have taken root as both have taken the team to their first championship and will, for the first time, see use spanning longer than one year.

A look back at some of the franchise's schizophrenic
(and quite bright!) logo and jersey history

Without a doubt the most important event in the history of the Flying Squirrels franchise is the moment they ran into Kickin’ Rocks, the team’s simpleton spirit guide met on the teams’ annual trek into central Ohio. One of his punted pebbles plunked Corbett on the head as the team rode into town on horseback; the divine intervention of fate. This is the teaching Kickin’ Rocks gave to the Squirrels: sometimes you’ll shank, sometimes you’ll fly true, sometimes you’ll whiff and look like an idiot, but just keep on doing what you’re doing and you’ll achieve everything; a simple confidence. The second critical event for the Squirrels happened mere hours later in what became known as “Brawling Pianos;” watching McKinnie delicately tickle the ivories, while at the same time pounding skulls invoked a zen-like extra-sensory concentration in the Squirrels’ roster. Oh, and then there was that time last September when they won a championship! These events have solidified this lineup of Squirrels and elevated them to a high flying level of competition, from which they have never come back down.

Corbett channeling the power of Brawling Pianos and
the spirit of Kickin' Rocks' teachings for the first time.

The two constant team members through the years, Carl Coffee and Brandon Corbett, love playing wiffleball so much they took it upon themselves to form tournaments and now a league in order to seek out the best competition and talent. When Carl moved back to Michigan in 2009 and reformed the squad, they quickly realized no one on the roster was a pitcher. Well, it did not take long before Corbett stepped on the mound, and the Squirrels realized they did have a pitcher, and a damn good one at that. Corbett has quickly turned into one of the league's elite pitchers, getting more dominant with each performance, and is a top contender for the Clown Shu award (WSEM's "Cy Young") in this inaugural season. Corbett already brought a power bat to the lineup, and although Carl can be streaky at times, he is still one of the better hitters in the league, and very capable in a clutch situation. Jon McKinnie, who played two tournaments with the Squirrels last year and tickled the ivories in Brawling Pianos, will step up as the everyday lead-off hitter and left fielder this season. His speed makes him very dangerous both on the base paths and defensively, and he has some surprise power mixed in with his swagger. Matt Murtha’s contribution is often overlooked, but he plays a consistent role that is very important to his team’s success. Murtha is an accurate pitcher who spot starts in games to save Corbett’s arm. John Hill has been given the role of “the voice of the WSEM.” He will be co-hosting the podcasts and will be the booming play-by-play announcer for live broadcasts. He also has a perfect fielding percentage, and will be used situationally as a defensive replacement for Coffee at shortstop.

From R to L - Carl Coffee, Murtha, and Corbett
in a defensive battle with their rivals, the Wiffling DeLoppes

Coffee, Corbett, McKinnie, and Murtha will comprise the Squirrels’ opening day roster, but they have two other solid players who will make appearances throughout the season, giving their lineup an even greater punch. Evan Bortmas from the Manchester Wiffleball Association, was penciled in to captain the 8th team in our league, however things fell apart for him and his team unfortunately had to drop out. Coffee and Bortmas did some talking and Evan ultimately agreed to bring his talents to the Squirrels lineup this season. Currently the Squirrels plan to have Evan on the roster when they play a couple series, roughly 8 games, at his field in Manchester. Bortmas brings valuable experience to the mound and the addition of his arm will make an already stellar pitching staff even more dominant. The Squirrels’ latest addition also reaches back to one of their original sensations, Nick Coffee. Nick was a huge player in the early days of the Downriver Wiffleball League: he helped build the fields, run the tournaments, and made amazing plays on the field. Although Nick is a vacuum in the outfield, his greatest asset to the team is his true home run power. Nick will be in South Florida when the season starts, but when he makes his mid-season return to Michigan and wiffleball he will be teaming up with McKinnie in an outfield that will have virtually no holes. In short, the hits will just keep on coming, and the already stingy Squirrels’ defense will be even harder to get runs on with the additions of Nick’s range and Evan’s pitching arm to their arsenal.

Nick Coffee (left) and Jon McKinnie, shown batting here, will be
an outstanding tandem in the Squirrels' outfield later this season

The Flying Squirrels name fits the team well: they’re defensive minded, not afraid to scrap in the dirt and hoard runs, yet they can turn it up, hit the long ball, and take over a game - soaring above the competition. They have learned to use their enlightening off the field experiences with Kickin’ Rocks and Brawling Pianos to make better use of their on field skills, becoming the reigning champions as the 2011 season begins, and they continue to seek out and store talent on their roster for an additional surge in case the need arises.

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/flying-squirrels.html

-
Brandon Corbett (wsg Carl Coffee on the Roster and Who's)
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Wiffle Cool J

WSEM 2011 Fantasy Tournament

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

After an exciting fantasy draft, the four teams had a week to get acquainted and practice together. Now comes the fun part: time to play the 2011 WSEM Fantasy Tournament! The first round matchups have been randomly picked and they are:

Game 1: Friday, March 11 - The Kin Caides vs. Coffee is Hott

Game 2: Saturday, March 12 - Hill Thrillers vs. Falle Ball

Championship: Sunday, March 13

Game 1 will be played at the Flying Squirrels' home field at Brownstown Middle School in Romulus, and Game 2 will be played in Newport, home of the Constanti Brothers. The two winners will then face off in the Championship Game on Sunday, March 13. The home team for the Championship will be decided by who scored more runs in their first game.

2011 WSEM Fantasy Tournament Game 1
The Kin Caides @ Coffee is Hott
March 11, 2011 in Romulus, MI (Pitcher's Park / North Field)

The Kin Caides Lineup:

1. David Buhr, RF
2. Chad Hoppe, P
3. Chris Lewis, LF
4. Dennis Pearson, SS
5. Bobby Hoppe, DH

Coffee is Hott Lineup:

1. Nick Woods, LF
2. Brandon Corbett, P
3. Carl Coffee, SS
4. Adam Grant, DH
5. Maclin Malloy, RF


The Kin Caides 1st- Buhr flied out to LF. C. Hoppe struck out swinging. Lewis grounded out to SS. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Coffee is Hott 1st- Woods struck out on first pitch. Corbett flied out to LF. Coffee grounded out ro SS. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 1st Inning: The Kin Caides 0 - Coffee is Hott 0
The Kin Caides 2nd- Pearson struck out looking. B. Hoppe struck out swinging. Buhr struck out on first pitch. - 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Coffee is Hott 2nd- Grant struck out swinging. Malloy grounded out to SS. Woods singled to CF. Corbett popped out to P. 0 runs, 1 hit, 1 LOB

Score after 2nd Inning: The Kin Caides 0 - Coffee is Hott 0
The Kin Caides 3rd- C. Hoppe grounded out to P. Lewis doubled to RF. Pearson singled to LF; Lewis scored. B. Hoppe hit into a fielders choice to SS; Pearson out at 2nd. Buhr singled to CF; B. Hoppe to 2nd. C. Hoppe struck out looking. 1 run, 3 hits, 2 LOB

Coffee is Hott 3rd- Coffee singled to RF. Grant singled to CF; Coffee to 2nd. Malloy hit into a fielders choice to SS; Coffee out at 3rd. Woods flied out to RF. Corbett flied out to LF. 0 runs, 2 hits, 2 LOB

Score after 3rd Inning: The Kin Caides 1 - Coffee is Hott 0
The Kin Caides 4th- Lewis grounded out to RF. Pearson struck out swinging. B. Hoppe walks. Buhr lined out to SS. 0 runs, 0 hits, 1 LOB

Coffee is Hott 4th- Coffee grounded out to SS. Grant struck out swinging. Malloy struck out swinging. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 4th Inning: The Kin Caides 1 - Coffee is Hott 0
The Kin Caides 5th- C. Hoppe struck out swining. Lewis struck out on first pitch. Pearson singled to LF. B. Hoppe grounded out to SS. 0 runs, 1 hit, 1 LOB

Coffee is Hott 5th- Woods walks. Corbett doubled to CF; Woods to 3rd. Coffee grounded out to SS; Woods scored. Grant flied out to RF. Malloy grounded out to P. 1 run, 1 hit, 1 LOB

Score after 5th Inning: The Kin Caides 1 - Coffee is Hott 1
*Extra Innings*

The Kin Caides 6th- Buhr singled to RF. C. Hoppe singled to LF; Buhr to 2nd. Lewis singled to CF; Buhr scored, C. Hoppe to 2nd. Pearson flied out to LF. B. Hoppe struck out on first pitch. Buhr struck out swinging. 1 run, 3 hits 2 LOB

Coffee is Hott 6th- Woods singled to LF. Corbett singled to CF; Woods to 2nd. Coffee struck out swinging. Grant struck out on first pitch. Malloy walks. Woods singled to RF scoring Woods and Corbett. 2 runs, 3 hits

Final Score: The Kin Caides 2 - Coffee is Hott 3
Coffee is Hott
Hitting

Player	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	LOB
Nick Woods	LF	5	2	3	2	1	1	0
Brandon Corbett	P	5	1	2	0	0	0	3
Carl Coffee	SS	5	0	1	1	0	1	0
Adam Grant	DH	5	0	1	0	0	3	0
Maclin Malloy	RF	4	0	0	0	1	1	1

Pitching

Player	Res	IP	H	R	BB	SO
Brandon Corbett	W	6.0	7	2	1	10

The Kin Caides
Hitting

Player	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	LOB
David Buhr	RF	6	1	2	0	0	2	3
Chad Hoppe	P	5	0	1	0	0	3	2
Chris Lewis	LF	5	1	2	1	0	1	0
Dennis Pearson	SS	5	0	2	1	0	2	0
Bobby Hoppe	DH	4	0	0	0	1	2	1

Pitching

Player	Res	IP	H	R	BB	SO
Chad Hoppe	L	5.2	7	3	2	6

The first game did not disappoint. Two star pitchers showed no signs of rustiness, and both had stellar performances. Brandon Corbett and Chad Hoppe both had complete games, and were both very accurate. Hoppe gave up three runs off seven hits, while striking out six and walking two. Corbett barely outdueled him by giving up two runs off seven hits, while striking out ten and walking one.

Both pitchers kept the ball in the yard, and the game was won by playing small ball. The Kin Caides struck first by scoring a run in the 2nd inning. Chris Lewis doubled, and then a single by Dennis Pearson brought him home. Coffee is Hott tied the score in the 5th. Woods was able to draw a walk and then reached 3rd thanks to a double by Corbett. Carl Coffee did his job with weak ground out to SS that scored Woods.

In extra innings The Kin Caides came out hot and hit three straight singles. Unfortunately they only were able to score one run off of that. In the bottom of the 6th, Woods was the hero. He not only led off the inning with a single, but when the order went back around to him, he hit another single and scored two runs to win the game.

Very exciting first game! Tomorrow we head to Newport, MI, and we will see Falle Ball, led by #1 draft pick Brian Constani, take on the offensive powerhouse Hill Thrillers.




2011 WSEM Fantasy Tournament Game 2
Hill Thrillers @ Falle Ball
March 12, 2011 in Newport, MI (Constanti Field)

Hill Thrillers Lineup:

1. Dylan Braden, P
2. Joey DeLano, LF
3. Alex Shore, SS
4. Evan Bortmas, RF
5. Matt Murtha, DH

Falle Ball Lineup:

1. Jon McKinnie, LF
2. Joe Seto, SS
3. Brian Constanti, P
4. Michael Constanti, DH
5. Matt Whelan, RF

Hill Thrillers 1st- Braden walked. DeLano singled. Shore popped out to P. Bortmas hits into fielders choice; Braden out at 3rd. Murtha struck out on 1st pitch. 0 runs, 1 hit, 2 LOB

Falle Ball 1st- McKinnie lined out to SS. Seto grounded out to SS. B. Constanti flied out to LF. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 1st inning: Hill Thrillers 0 - Falle Ball 0
Hill Thrillers 2nd- Braden struck out swinging. DeLano flied out to RF. Shore doubled to RF. Bortmas struck out looking. 0 runs, 1 hit, 1 LOB

Falle Ball 2nd- M. Constanti walked. Whelan lined out to P. McKinnie singled to CF; M. Constanti to 3rd. Seto singled to LF; M. Constanti scored; McKinnie to 3rd. B. Constanti doubled to CF; McKinnie and Seto scored. M. Constanti grounds out to SS; B. Constanti to 3rd. Whelan singled to LF; B. Constanti scored. McKinnie flied out to LF. 4 runs, 4 hits, 1 LOB

Score after 2nd inning: Hill Thrillers 0 - Falle Ball 4
Hill Thrillers 3rd- Murtha singled to LF. Braden hits into fielders choice; Murtha out at 2nd. DeLano hits HR to LF; Braden and DeLano scored. Shore struck out swinging. Bortmas grounded out to SS. 2 runs, 2 hits, 0 LOB

Falle Ball 3rd- Bortmas to P for Braden. Seto struck out looking. B. Constanti struck out on first pitcher. M. Constanti struck out swinging. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 3rd inning: Hill Thrillers 2 - Falle Ball 4
Hill Thrillers 4th- Murtha struck out on first pitch. Braden doubled to RF. DeLano grounded out to P; Braden to 3rd. Shore singled to CF; Braden scored. Bortmas popped out to SS. 1 run, 2 hits, 1 LOB

Falle Ball 4th- Whelan walked. McKinnie struck out swinging. Seto hits into fielders choice; Whelan out at 2nd. B. Constanti singled; Seto to 2nd. M. Constanti walked. Whelan flied out to RF. 0 runs, 1 hit, 3 LOB

Score after 4th inning: Hill Thrillers 3 - Falle Ball 4
Hill Thrillers 5th- Murtha grounded out to SS. Braden struck out looking. DeLano singled to CF. Shore tripled to CF; DeLano scored. Bortmas singled to LF; Shore scored. Murtha struck out on first pitch. 2 runs, 3 hits, 1 LOB

Falle Ball 5th- McKinnie flied out to LF. Seto grounded out to P. B. Constanti grounded out to SS. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Final Score: Hill Thrillers 5 - Falle Ball 4

Hill Thrillers
Hitting

Player	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	LOB
Dylan Braden	P/RF	4	2	1	0	1	2	0
Joey Delano	LF	5	2	3	2	0	3	0
Alex Shore	SS	5	1	3	2	0	1	0
Evan Bortmas	RF/P	5	0	1	1	0	1	2
Matt Murtha	DH	5	0	1	0	0	3	3

Pitching

Player	Res	IP	H	R	BB	SO
Dylan Braden		2.0	4	4	1	0
Evan Bortmas	W	3.0	1	0	2	4

Falle Ball
Hitting

Player	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	LOB
Jon McKinnie	LF	5	1	1	0	0	1	1
Joe Seto	SS	5	1	1	1	0	1	0
B. Constanti	P	5	1	2	2	0	1	0
M. Constanti	DH	2	1	0	0	2	1	0
Matt Whelan	RF	2	0	1	1	1	0	3

Pitching

Player	Res	IP	H	R	BB	SO
B. Constanti	L	5.0	9	5	1	10

Another exciting game in the WSEM Fantasy Playoffs! Down 4-0, the Hill Thrillers chipped away to a 5-4 comeback win. Brian Constanti, the #1 draft pick pitched for Falle Ball, while Dylan Braden pitched for the Hill Thrillers. Constanti started strong for the first two innings, but Braden was not as fortunate. Braden collapsed in the 2nd inning, giving up four runs. Bortmas came in to pitch for the Hill Thrillers and was flawless in three scoreless innings. Constanti actually looked human, giving up five runs the rest of the way. Constanti still managed to strike out ten batters while only walking one. Bortmas only allowed one hit, while walking two and striking out four.

The Hill Thrillers were drafted for their offense, and you can see why. Joey DeLano and Alex Shore both had three hits, while the other guys all had a hit a piece. DeLano hit the first HR of the tournament, while Shore had a rare triple. Falle Ball brought their bats for only one inning. Four out of their five hits came in the 2nd inning, along with all of their runs.

Since the Hill Thrillers scored more runs than Coffee is Hott, they will be the home team for the Championship game. Team owner John Hill has decided to play the game at the Hoppes in Monroe.





2011 WSEM Fantasy Tournament Championship
Coffee is Hott @ Hill Thrillers
March 13, 2011 in Monroe, MI (Hoppe Grounds)

Coffee is Hott Lineup:

1. Nick Woods, LF
2. Brandon Corbett, RF
3. Carl Coffee, SS
4. Adam Grant, DH
5. Maclin Malloy, P

Hill Thrillers Lineup:

1. Dylan Braden, RF
2. Joey DeLano, LF
3. Alex Shore, SS
4. Evan Bortmas, P
5. Matt Murtha, DH

Coffee is Hott 1st- Woods grounded out to SS. Corbett grounded out to SS. Coffee popped out to SS. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Hill Thrillers 1st- Braden struck out swinging. DeLano flied out to LF. Shore stuck out swinging. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 1st Inning: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 0
Coffee is Hott 2nd- Grant struck out on first pitch. Malloy struck out looking. Woods walked. Corbett singled to CF; Woods to 3rd. Coffee walked. Grant grounded out to SS. 0 runs, 1 hit, 3 LOB

Hill Thrillers 2nd- Bortmas struck out looking. Murtha struck out swinging. Braden struck out on first pitch. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 2nd Inning: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 0
Coffee is Hott 3rd- Malloy popped out to P. Woods lined out to SS. Corbett struck out swinging. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Hill Thrillers 3rd- DeLano singled to LF. Shore hit into fielders choice; DeLano out at 2nd. Bortmas singled to RF; Shore to 2nd. Murtha struck out looking. Braden flied out to LF. 0 runs, 2 hits, 2 LOB

Score after 3rd Inning: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 0
Coffee is Hott 4th- Coffee grounded out to SS. Grant popped out to SS. Malloy popped out to SS. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Hill Thrillers 4th- DeLano struck out on first pitch. Shore struck out swinging. Bortmas struck out swinging. 0 runs, 0 hits, 0 LOB

Score after 4th Inning: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 0
Coffee is Hott 5th- Woods flied out to LF. Corbett singled to LF. Coffee flied out to RF. Grant struck out swinging. 0 runs, 1 hit, 1 LOB

Hill Thrillers 5th- Murtha struck out looking. Braden grounded out to SS. DeLano doubled to RF. Shore grounded out to P. 0 runs, 1 hit, 1 LOB

Score after 5th inning: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 0
*Extra Innings*

Coffee is Hott 6th- Malloy walked. Woods singled to LF; Malloy to 2nd. Corbett flied out to LF. Coffee struck out swinging. Grant grounded out to SS. 0 runs, 1 hit, 2 LOB

Hill Thrillers 6th- Bortmas grounded out to SS. Murtha flied out to RF. Braden walked. DeLano singled to CF; Braden to 2nd. Shore struck out swinging. 0 runs, 1 hit, 2 LOB

Score after 6th inning: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 0
Coffee is Hott 7th- Malloy struck out on first pitch. Woods grounded out to SS. Corbett doubled to RF. Coffee singled to LF; Corbett pegged out running home. 0 runs, 2 hits, 1 LOB

Hill Thrillers 7th- Bortmas walked. Murtha lined out to P. Braden doubled to CF; Bortmas to 3rd. DeLano singled to RF; Bortmas scored. 1 run, 2 hits

Final Score: Coffee is Hott 0 - Hill Thrillers 1

Hill Thrillers
Hitting

Player	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	LOB
Dylan Braden	RF	5	0	1	0	1	2	2
Joey Delano	LF	6	0	4	1	0	1	0
Alex Shore	SS	5	0	0	0	0	3	3
Evan Bortmas	P	4	1	1	0	1	2	0
Matt Murtha	DH	5	0	0	0	0	3	0

Pitching

Player	Res	IP	H	R	BB	SO
Evan Bortmas	W	7.0	5	0	3	6

Coffee is Hott
Hitting

Player	Pos	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	LOB
Nick Woods	LF	5	0	1	0	1	0	0
Brandon Corbett	RF	6	0	3	0	0	1	0
Carl Coffee	SS	5	0	1	0	1	1	0
Adam Grant	DH	5	0	0	0	0	3	6
Maclin Malloy	P	4	0	0	0	1	1	0

Pitching

Player	Res	IP	H	R	BB	SO
Maclin Malloy	L	6.1	6	1	2	11

Congratulations to the Hill Thrillers for winning the 2011 WSEM Fantasy Tournament. The game was an old fashioned pitchers dual, and in the end, rookie Evan Bortmas prevailed. After pitching three scoreless innings against Falle Ball, Bortmas once again did not let up a run. Bortmas allowed five hits, walked three. and struck out six. Coffee is Hott decided to pitch Maclin Malloy instead of Brandon Corbett, and Malloy was impressive. In just over six innings of work, Malloy struck out an impressive 11 batters while only walking two. Although he took the loss, he still had quite the performance on the mound.

Offensively, only two batters stood out in this game. For Coffee is Hott, Corbett had three hits and was about a foot away from scoring a run, until he was pegged out at home by Alex Shore. Joey DeLano once again had a lights out performance at the plate, having four hits including the game winning RBI.

All four fantasy teams looked good, but in the end, the team that was drafted for their offense won the tournament. Bortmas proved he was the steal in the draft, going in the 4th round. Now I will name the All Tournament Team, along with the MVP.




All Tournament Team
1. Evan Bortmas (Hill Thrillers) 2-0, 0.00 ERA, 10 Ks
2. Joey DeLano (Hill Thrillers) .636 BA, 1 HR, 3 RBIs
3. Alex Shore (Hill Thrillers) .300 BA, 2 RBIs, 1 Triple
4. Brian Constanti (Falle Ball) 10 Ks, .400 BA, 2 RBIs
5. Brandon Corbett (Coffee is Hott) 1-0, 10 Ks, .455 BA
6. Maclin Malloy (Coffee is Hott) 1.00 ERA, 11 Ks

Tournament MVP
Joey DeLano (Hill Thrillers)

-

Carl Coffee

Flying Squirrels, 18, SS

President of Fantastical Operations

Team Tuesdays: Campus Commandos

The story behind the formation of the Campus Commandos is a kindred spirit to that of the genesis of Wiffle in Southeast Michigan. Team captain, Adam Grant, played in a tournament in East Lansing. He was placed on the roster of a team called the Jackson 5, and they battled through the long journey of the losers’ bracket and ended up in second place. Adam fell in love with the game, and after moving to Detroit after college he wondered if he could find a way to continue wiffling. Now, I will turn it over to Adam for a minute, so he can tell you, himself, how he found our league and started putting his team together.

Like any Gen Y’er, I Googled it. My search turned up the league Wiffle in Southeast Michigan. I called anyone in my cell phone to put a team together. No one on the team is going to make the MLB, but I am pretty sure if we hit the ball with all our strength it will just get over the fence. 'Beginners Luck! Beginners Luck,' the rest of the league will shout as we start moving up the leader board!

Adam Grant (far left) making his wiffle debut in East Lansing

Well, maybe no one will be going to the MLB, but at least one of his recent free agent pick-ups, Joe Seto, is a pitcher who could well be on his way to the WSEM all-star team. In two Downriver Wiffle tournaments Seto has a 4-1 record and a 2.18 ERA, and only allowing 1 ER in 12 innings (0.41 ERA) in his most recent performance. Damien Rogers, another everyday player recently slotted into the Commandos, calls himself, “a team player who likes to just play. Competitive.” [Edit: Damien is now a member of the Newport Ass Kickers, where he will bring another everyday, consistent player to the roster.] Don’t be fooled when you look at the Commandos’ lineup. It is a huge list of names, but like Adam said: he called everyone in his phone to put a team together. He is not sure how regularly most of his roster will be available, so the addition of everyday, every play guys like Seto and Rogers are a big help to both the team, and Adam’s sanity.

Adam and Commissioner Carl Coffee share similar stories with how they came to the game of wiffleball: they each played in a tournament, fell in love with it, and wanted to find a way to play more. For Carl it took awhile, but he has managed to put together a league of the best wiffle talent in five Michigan counties. While it may take some experimentation and adjustment early on along with the fun on the field, Adam definitely brings a tremendous excitement to the game and if his wiffleball story continues at the same beat as WSEM's, there is no ceiling to the level the Campus Commandos could be competing at by the end of this 2011 season or what they could accomplish.

Thanks to Adam for letting us know about his background with wiffle and how he came to find us. To repay that favor, here is Adam again to tell you some information about his college student’s advertising blog, from where his team takes their name:

While I have your attention. If you know of any company that needs help reaching the college demographic let me know. http://www.campuscommandos.com - The Campus Commandos may one day afford a billboard in a MLB stadium, but for now we will take the shameless promotion on this blog! - Adam Grant

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/campus-commandos.html

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Mail Room

Fantasy Draft

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

In the baseball world, March is the time for spring training. In the fantasy baseball world, March is the time for the fantasy draft. So in honor of that, 20 of the 51 players from the current seven teams in WSEM will be drafted by four fantasy teams. Each team will pick five guys, and we will use ladder style. The four owners who will be drafting the teams are: Chris Kincaide, former member of the Belgian Wiffles, and a good friend of our league. Eric Falletich, the greatest pitcher ever to play in any of our tournaments. John Hill, a member of the Flying Squirrels, and the play by play voice for our future wiffle broadcasts. And Nick Coffee, my younger brother, and an important part of bringing competitive wiffleball to Southeast Michigan. The draft order has been decided, so here we go!

Round 1

1. Falle Ball - P Brian Constanti, Newport Ass Kickers
- .500 avg | .921 slg | 0.34 era | 8 rbi
2. Coffee is Hott - P Brandon Corbett, Flying Squirrels
- 0.26 era | 0.89 whip | .381 avg | .810 slg
3. The Kin Caides - P Chad Hoppe, Wiffling DeLoppes
- 1.56 era | 61 k | 1.38 whip
4. Hill Thrillers - OF Joey Delano, Wiffling DeLoppes
- .579 avg | .789 slg | 7 rbi

No big surprises here, Falletich took Brian Constanti who is the preseason #1 pitcher, and also the #2 hitter. Nick drafted another dual threat player in Corbett, the preseason #2 pitcher, and #4 hitter. Chris knows how important it is to have dominant pitcher, so he drafted Mr. Reliable, Chad Hoppe. John Hill stopped the trend of drafting pitchers and took the most dangerous offensive player in the game, Joey Delano.

Round 2

5. Hill Thrillers - OF Alex Shore, Westside Warriors
- 41 k | .400 slg | .428 obp
6. The Kin Caides - P Dennis Pearson, Git R Done
- 51 k | 6 rbi | .363 avg | .563 slg
7. Coffee is Hott - P Maclin Malloy, Westside Warriors
- 1.43 era | 1.24 whip | 31 k | .333 obp
8. Falle Ball - P Joe Seto, Campus Commandos
- .41 era | 23 k | .400 obp

John Hill shockingly passed over on a proven pitcher and took a gamble on a rising star, Alex Shore. Chris added a power bat in Pearson and a solid #2 pitcher. In a surprise move, Nick and Falletich both drafted pitchers in the 2nd round. Goes to show you just how important pitchers are.

Round 3

9. Falle Ball - OF Jon McKinnie, Flying Squirrels
- .400 avg | .500 obp | .640 slg
10. Coffee is Hott - OF Nick Woods, Westside Warriors
- .500 avg | .818 slg | 2 hr
11. The Kin Caides - P Chris Lewis, Belgian Wiffles
- no record
12. Hill Thrillers - OF/RP Dylan Braden, Git R Done
- .853 avg | 16 rbi | 6 hr | 36 k

With two proven pitchers on his roster, Falletich drafted speed, defense, and a solid leadoff hitter in Jon McKinnie. Nick also focused on offense on this pick and drafted Nick Woods. Chris took a gamble on his pick and drafted rookie Chris Lewis. John Hill in need of a pitcher, drafted Dylan Braden, who also brings a big bat.

Round 4

13. Hill Thrillers - P Evan Bortmas, Flying Squirrels
- no record
14. The Kin Caides - OF David Buhr, Belgian Wiffles
- .300 avg | .462 obp
15. Coffee is Hott - SS Carl Coffee, Flying Squirrels
- .320 avg | .565 slg | 7 rbi
16. Falle Ball - OF Matt Whelan, Westside Warriors
- .414 avg | .483 slg

John Hill wisely drafted Evan Bortmas, a pitcher who could turn out to be one of the league's elite. Chris went with his former teammate and speedster in David Buhr. Nick finally drafted his older brother Carl, who I must say is a slugger. Falletich drafted another solid offensive player in Matt Whelan.

Round 5

17. Falle Ball - OF/SS Michael Constanti, Newport Ass Kickers
- .366 obp | .472 slg | 5 rbi
18. Coffee is Hott - Adam Grant, Campus Commandos
- no record
19. The Kin Caides - OF Bobby Hoppe, Wiffling DeLoppes
- .355 obp | .320 slg
20. Hill Thrillers - OF Matt Murtha, Flying Squirrels
- .333 avg | .619 slg | .462 obp

In the final round, Falletich and Nick both drafted team captains in M. Constani and Grant. Chris took a veteran in Bobby Hoppe who will be teaming up with his brother, Chad. Mr. Irrelevant goes to Matt Murtha.

Well, that's the draft. Next Sunday, the four teams will play in a single elimination fantasy playoff. Here are the four rosters:

Falle Ball

1. Brian Constanti
2. Joe Seto
3. Jon McKinnie
4. Matt Whelan
5. Michael Constanti

Coffee is Hott

1. Brandon Corbett
2. Maclin Malloy
3. Nick Woods
4. Carl Coffee
5. Adam Grant

The Kin Caides

1. Chad Hoppe
2. Dennis Pearson
3. Chris Lewis
4. David Buhr
5. Bobby Hoppe

Hill Thrillers

1. Joey DeLano
2. Alex Shore
3. Dylan Braden
4. Evan Bortmas
5. Matt Murtha

-

Carl Coffee

Flying Squirrels, 18, SS

Level 42 Wizard