End of the Season Top 10 Hitters

Coffee Time
by Carl Coffee

I originally said the hitter rankings would be one or two weeks after the pitcher rankings, but as you know, things go much slower in the offseason. I will just blame the delay on this; hitter rankings are obviously much tougher to decide since everyone hits.

This season was all about pitching. We did not have anyone hit over .400, and only five players hit over .300. The pitching was so dominant, it has caused us to make some rule changes next year to help boost up hitting.

Instead of boring everyone with stats, I am going to try to make this article a little bit more personal. I will be mentioning the ten guys’ strengths, and how their offensive abilities helped their respective teams. There will be some stats thrown in here and there, but it won’t be overkill. Congrats to everyone who made the list!

10. Joel Crozier  –  Whiteford Wicked Aces
Joel Crozier is the ultimate grind it out type of player. I would compare him to Andy Dirks, who does a lot of things well. Even though Joel’s stats aren’t eye poppingly amazing, all of his offensive stats are above average. His stats impressed the league enough to vote him onto the very talented Ringler All-Star team. Joel is the guy any team would love to have, and I expect another big year out of him in 2013.


9. Alex Linebrink  –  Campus Commandos
I love seeing Alex on this list, and he deservingly earned a spot on it. Alex’s 2012 season earned him both the Most Improved Player award, and a spot on the Garcia All-Star team. He was the glue to the Commandos, and his 24 games played were highest on the team. Alex will not return to the Commandos in 2013 but instead will run his own team. I believe he deserves to have his #7 retired at Lafayette Park.


8. Dennis Pearson  –  Thunder Ducks
Dennis sure did set the bar high in 2011, so although he had a terrible season for his standards, he still had a decent year for league standards. His batting average and RBI total took a dive, but he is still one of the most feared power hitters in the league. Dennis once again had double digit home runs with 10, which was fourth best in the league. The Ducks will live with Dennis batting ~.250 if he continues to pound the ball next year. However, I expect with the new rules in place, he will see his average once again rise over the .300 mark.

7. Austin Bischoff  –  Whiteford Wicked Aces
What doesn’t Austin Bischoff do? Well, not much. The Clown Shu winner also is one of the top hitters in the league. His stats are similar to Joel’s, just a tad better in every category. I don’t believe you will ever see Austin win a HR or a batting title, but he brings consistency, which is very valuable.



6. Josh Nagorski  –  Thunder Ducks
Cue Rodney Dangerfield, “I get no respect”. That should be Josh’s battle cry, because quite frankly, I don’t think the league knows how good he truly is. Josh had a .333 batting average which is good enough for fourth best. He brings occasional power as well, along with nearly a .400 OBP. Josh has now flown under the radar for two seasons, and you have to wonder if he will finally earn some respect in 2013.


5. Sam Hatt  –  Manchester Punchouts
Sam Hatt was the third best hitter on the Punchouts… let that soak in. No wonder this team went 26-2 and most likely would have won the title if they had more than two players in the end. Even though Sam is more known for his pitching, he is nowhere near a slouch in the batters box. Sam was one of the five players in the league to bat over .300, and also is one of the quickest on the base baths. His power numbers are average, but he served as the perfect table setter for his teammates.


4. Dylan Braden  –  Thunder Ducks
When I first started thinking about who would make the list, I knew Dylan would find his way on it. I figured Dylan, who has always been looked at - in my eyes - as the sidekick of the DD Boys to Dennis, would be in the 8-10 range. Looking at his stats, though, he is now the leader of the DD Boys and a true power hitting star. Dylan was third in the league in both home runs (13) and OPS (.986). For the second straight season, Dylan’s power numbers earned him a spot on the All-Star team. Dylan is quietly becoming one of the best hitters in the league, and I only see him getting better.

3. Dakota LaDouceur  –  Manchester Punchouts
Dakota had a huge season hitting 20 home runs and had 64 RBIs. He probably deserves to be ranked second, but a lot of his home runs came against a weak Seamen team, and an Adam Grant pitching Commandos team. I wish I could have seen more of Dakota, and I hope the rumor of him taking over as the captain of the Punchouts is true.

2. Kyle Tomlinson  –  Belgian Wiffles
Kyle came out of nowhere to have an amazing rookie season, which earned him the Rookie of the Year award. His lightning speed and quick bat equaled a .346 batting average which was second in the entire league. Unlike some of his teammates who have been known to chirp on and off the field, Kyle quietly plays the game, and is well respected for it. I believe you have to put Kyle in the preseason conversation for 2013 MVP talk, he is just that good.


1. Evan Bortmas  –  Manchester Punchouts
Evan Bortmas had a very similar season as the 2011 MVP, Joey DeLano. Both guys led the league in batting average and home runs in their respective MVP seasons, but finished second in RBIs to just miss a Triple Crown. Like DeLano, Bortmas was an easy and well deserved choice for MVP. Besides RBIs and triples, Bortmas led the league in every single offensive category, even walks. The captain of the Punchouts took the league by storm, but it appears won’t be back next season. If that is the case, Evan Bortmas sure knows how to make a mark.

Taste the Rainbow

Your Junk my Happy Zone
by Brandon Corbett

Belgian Wiffles
RGB: 81, 61, 0
HEX: 513d00
RGB: 252, 248, 0
HEX: fcf800
Belle Islanders (*proposed)
RGB: 254, 161, 0
HEX: fea100
RGB: 0, 151, 254
HEX: 0097fe
Campus Commandos
RGB: 25, 68, 0
HEX: 194400
RGB: 171, 177, 53
HEX: abb135
Flying Squirrels
RGB: 138, 170, 223
HEX: 8aaadf
RGB: 62, 31, 15
HEX: 3e1e0f
Holy Balls
RGB: 71, 0, 169
HEX: 4700a9
RGB: 0, 0, 0
HEX: 000000
RGB: 225, 255, 0
HEX: e1ff00
King Friday
RGB: 201, 10, 26
HEX: c90a1a
RGB: 0, 63, 159
HEX: 003f9f
Thunder Ducks
RGB: 207, 181, 59
HEX: cfb53b
RGB: 32, 32, 32
HEX: 202020
RGB: 174, 179, 180
HEX: aeb3b4
Westside Warriors
RGB: 0, 0, 0
HEX: 000000
RGB: 226, 67, 0
HEX: e24300
Whiteford Wicked Aces
RGB: 0, 0, 102
HEX: 000066
RGB: 255, 255, 0
HEX: ffff00
When we first launched the website in 2011, Señor Café exalted his favorite part of the site as the teams page, seeing the wide array of colors next to one another. Not only does it liven up the look on the site, but a unique color scheme is one of the easiest ways to immediately stand out from the rest of the pack, too. Three teams have fallen to the ranks of "historic" after a year and half, with another four joining them after completion of season two, while we added four teams before 2012 and our looking at three new franchises for 2013. One thing that has remained the same, though: a splendid rainbow.

While not technically a color of the rainbow, brown is represented well and so very welcomed in WSEM. The Belgian Wiffles pair a lighter shade of the tone with a bright yellow, perfectly imitating the buttery goodness of their namesake and hearkening back to when the Padres had a respectable identity. The Flying Squirrels use a darker chocolate hue with a cooler sky blue, taking the color in a totally different direction with their look. The Squirrels will see many changes in 2013, including roster and logo changes, but their now iconic colors will remain part of their identity.

Despite what the table at right shows, red has been the most used color in WSEM's two years. Git r' Done was the sole team to utilize it in 2011 before changing to the gold and charcoal of the Thunder Ducks, when King Friday, the Donkeys, and the Manchester Punchouts donned it in 2012. Impressively, none of the teams ever shared the same shade. GR'D used a straight, bright red; King Friday kept the brightness, but muted the tone slightly, and paired it with royal blue for a very Pistons-like look; the Donkeys darkened up the GR'D tone a couple steps, and the Punchouts took the closest stab at crimson-esque color, fully invested in hexadecimal numbers. The Punchouts also used a dark, midnight blue along with an almost aqua to make for one of the best palettes in league history. Despite such a rich history, red - specifically maroon/burgundy - is one of the most standout colors out their for a new franchise in 2013.

In addition to Friday's use of royal blue, three other teams have touched the color. The Ass Kickers (2011) and Whiteford Wicked Aces use the same shade of navy blue. Both teams also use yellow as a secondary color; the Aces use a bright yellow, while the Ass Kickers used a more athletic gold hue in their tenure. The Mattseals also wore a royal (perhaps Dodger?) blue as their jerseys in 2012, although their primary color was a kelly green shade.

Aside from the Seals' green, the only other team to touch the league's primary color is the Campus Commandos. They also double up and, fittingly to the Commandos name, take an olive drab hue, as well. Orange is one of the only less touched colors than green, and is all but owned by the Westside Warriors, who are returning for the 2013 season. Shore looks to bring in a lot of new talent into the Warrior roster, but expect the team to jump right back in and fill that vibrant void they left. Sure, they use orange as a secondary color behind black, but it more than makes them their own when compared against other teams that have used black, such as the Seamen or DeLoppes.

Black is also being used by the first new 2013 franchise, Holy Balls, who are the first team to use purple, giving them a unique identity right off the bat. Though, with the inaccuracy of the recent claim that the team is known as 'Quintin Berries', who knows what personnel will actually be joining Franzen and Paquin under the Holy Balls identity. Speaking of unconfirmed, the proposed scheme for the second new franchise, Belle Islanders, is far from a sure thing, but includes colors taken from Linebrink's Core Detroit company logo: bright orange (creamsicle!) and blue.

With the tenth team slot yet to be filled, whomever fills that slot has the opportunity to make themselves stand out right from the start. As mentioned above, maroon or crimson is one option to succeed in that fashion. No longer being used, kelly green is another great option out there on an island, with the Commandos dark and drab greens like distant cousins. Remember, also, veteran teams have until December 1st if they are looking to shake things up, spin the color wheel, and make themselves stand out like Mt. Pine's Purple House!

Sizzlin' Griddle: Fire it up

Offseason Sizzlin' Griddle
prepared by  The Swedish Chef


Quintin Berries logo (2013)
This year's griddle got greased during the For the Thrill festivities. The Mattseals franchise folded, Chris Paquin and Greg Franzen formed the nucleus of a new squad that played as the Quintin Berries. After an undefeated run to the Thrill championship, we now know that those two have a new franchise by the same name that will join the league in 2013. Speculation is that the other members of that one day roster - Nick Braden, Chris Lewis, and Brandon Corbett - may also return to play for the Berries in 2013. As per a league tweet from August 19th:

"The 1st move of the off-season is all but officially done. Can't be announced until 10/1, but all 3 parties involved are on board. #HugeMove"

No further developments or confirmations have been (nor can be) made public, but - if real - this sounds like it could be the deal to set the tone for the remainder of the offseason.

Corbett refuses to allow any public comment on roster moves until October, so we cannot confirm what the tweet pertains to - or even if it is legit; he has been overheard saying he hopes to make this offseason a circus, after all. It is known, however, that Corbett himself is fielding offers from multiple sources including his latest team, Belgian Wiffles, the newly formed Berries, and the Commandos. Two other big free agents are Joe Seto and Matt Murtha from the disbanded Donkeys. Likely landing spots for them include following Shore to the reformed Warriors, or joining up with the Squirrels as the team moves to Farmington.

Never one to be outdone on the open market, Carl Coffee made a statement regarding the aforementioned tweet: "Huge shake up in Squirrel town. It will make people not even notice (that move)." Asked about Seto and Murtha, Coffee responded, "much bigger than that." Our best investigative reporters have since been trying to figure out what this shake-up entails. Presently, signs indicate that Coffee will step down as team captain after two fourth seed finishes in two seasons. It is not yet known who is taking the job, but this "mystery captain" may also have a direct line to new talent for the Squirrels' roster.

Perhaps the most exciting news on the sizzling griddle are the happenings in Detroit. Alex Linebrink, 2012 All-Star and Most Improved Player, has left the Commandos to form the Belle Islanders. Word is that late season add, Andrew Mott, will follow Alex along with Daniel Egan, returning from the U.P. in time for the 2013 season. The three of them form a good nucleus for a team that can contend in the middle of the pack. More importantly than that, the idea of a "Renaissance Series" next season in Detroit is entirely exciting!

That is the news for now. We will keep our ears open, and keep you updated with all the new and evolving rumors that float our way.