Here We Go!

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

There have been a lot of attempts to predict where teams fit in the 2013 WSEM landscape: simulated seasons, pro/con analysis, team ratings, power rankings... All of these are nonsense, though. It is time to introduce a system that allows everyone to easily visualize exactly who and what they are dealing with. Of course, there is only one source in which you can find such clarity: Mario Kart 64! This simple driver plus item combination delivers, in no uncertain terms, how teams are poised to win on the field and navigate through the rankings this season.

TEAM	DRIVER	ITEM	RUNDOWN
			Donkey Kong w/ Red Shell: Underestimated at the beginning, they steadily push past competition to get into the thick of the race. They have put in more practice than anyone and will be a lock to take out opponents in front of them.
			Princess Peach w/ Super Mushroom: Can jump to the front of the pack and continue to pull away, but can slide out of control just as quickly. Their roster is stacked with players capable of keeping a win-streak surging for an extended period.
			Toad w/ Star: Capable of blowing everyone else away from the get go, but prone to getting wild at moments. Multiple pitchers and hitters are able to take a game into their hands and make the team unstoppable.
			Wario w/ Green Shell: Won't leave teams in the dust, but are not going to be run over. A bit cocky; they have the ability to deal a knockout blow, but will have to line things up perfectly to make it happen.
			Bowser w/ Banana Bunch: Perhaps slow off the start, but this group of veterans will gain momentum throughout the season. They have many pieces in place that can surprise opponents and cause them to slip up, resulting in exciting victories.
			Mario w/ Mushroom: Balanced, steady team on both sides of the ball. Not many elite qualities per se, but no real deficiencies either. This team will be great in spurts to surge past other teams on the field and in the rankings.
			Luigi w/ Fake Item Block: Not likely to run away and hide, but capable of commanding a top spot. Questions about this team have arisen, but asking them may find you in a trap, blown up and falling further behind before you know it.
			Yoshi w/ Lightning: Instantly out front and not looking back; this team controls their own fate. They often look like a giant when compared to the competition, and are capable of squashing any opponents who get close.