A New Kind of Legend

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

During Saturday’s 3-2 series win by the DeLoppes over the Squirrels the members of WSEM present were met with a moment of transcendence, one which fell just short of magic. Following twenty-three shutout innings pitched by Cliff Comstock and Austin Bischoff, the stars began to align after BJ Hoppe’s two-run home run in the bottom of the first inning put the DeLoppes ahead in the deciding game of the series. One by one the dragonflies broke their flutter and set down on bat knobs, back stops, and the sporadic taller blades of grass missed by the grounds crew. The gaggle of young toads, which had hopped around the field more often that day than Austin Bischoff kicked out bases on hard slides, now stood at attention. Friends, they felt that something big was about to happen.

Carl Coffee cast his eyes over the field, squinted, took a deep breath, cocked his bat, and stepped up to the plate for the Squirrels. A missile from the right hand of Chad Hoppe followed, passing mere inches from Carl’s head. The peanut gallery shouted oohs, aahs, and one distinct hell yeah! baby! The ball came to rest on the other side of the drainage ditch twenty yards away. Carl gave no reaction.


He then waved his bat in front of his hips, and unfurled two ponderous questions in succession: “you gonna throw the ball? You scared?” Chad stood perplexed, a hundred thoughts running through his head: was Carl taunting the veteran pitcher? Was the blistering sun getting to Coffee? Is Coffee really not better when served hot? Chad shook his head, steering his concentration to not let Carl get into his head. Hoppe then eased through his steady wind up, released the ball from a three-quarters arm slot, and dropped a patented “Broken Zipper” just under the zone; it could not have missed by more than half a centimeter! Carl Coffee stood statuesque. “Oh my God! How could you take that!” Bobby Hoppe exclaimed from right field, with the sentiment echoed by members of both teams. “Take what?” Carl deadpanned. Chad’s jaw dropped on the mound. Down by two runs, Coffee really was trying to show him up out there!

Hoppe stopped playing around. He stiffened his delivery, started a hard slider up and in, which cut sharply, like a German army through France, drilling the upper-inside corner of the zone, and actually sent splinters flying. Chad just stared a cold stare from the mound; so effective it actually got cold in Death Valley for a second, until Carl came through with the quote that restored temperatures to normal: “Wow! I really shouldn’t try to play without contacts in! That pitch sounded amazing; wish I’d been able to see it!” Laughter mixed with the restored croaks from toads and wisps of dragonfly wings, and below it all you could hear the beginning murmur of a legend coming to life:

“and look who's coming up. All year long, they looked to him to light the fire. All year long, he answered the demand; until he was physically unable to see tonight with two bad eyes: the only thing, getting through Chad Hoppe. And with two out, you talk about a roll of the dice. This is it!”

Team Tuesdays: Wiffling DeLoppes

I have to think that being a Wiffling DeLoppes fan must be a lot like being a Chicago Cubs fan. You love them, they’re all great guys, great competitors, they always seem to be in the hunt, but just don’t come out on top. Although maybe in the Detroit area, we should say it is more like being a Detroit Lions fan. They play a ton of close games, but just can’t get the “big play” when they need it, so their record [6-11, two wins in each tournament they’ve played] doesn’t show you how tough of an opponent they really are. Forget the cubs, except the loveable part – the DeLoppes are one of the most fun teams you’ll ever share a field with. The DeLoppes are the Detroit Lions of wiffleball, with one critical difference: the Lions’ problem is defense; the DeLoppes have defense in spades, but can’t seem to find the offense when they need it.

Led by captain and pitcher Chad Hoppe the DeLoppes play more one-run games, walk-offs, and extra inning games than any team should ever have to suffer. The tension and sense that the entire game could be decided on any single at-bat is nearly always hanging overhead in a DeLoppes game.  The location and break of every pitch needs to be precise, even more so than usual. As a batter you need to capitalize on any mistake you see, and leg out any pitchers’ pitch you’re able to fight off onto the ground into fair territory. On the base paths you need to be aggressive, because going first-to-third may present the only true scoring chance you’ll get in the game. As a defender… no errors, that’s you’re thought, no errors and keep it in front of you.

What’s the reason behind this heightened, “elephant on your shoulders,” any and every play means the world level of competition? Chad Hoppe; he’s a pitcher. On a bad day most pitchers might have one or two pitches working, Chad will have four. He has somewhere around eight in his repertoire, six-ish in heavy rotation: there’s a riser, slider, sinker, effective fare of that normal sort, and then there’s something that no one is sure about: is it a curve, a sinker… a change-up? No one knows. So, opponents have bestowed upon it the name “broken zipper,” after the odd gyrations it puts your legs through when trying to swing at it, in a sacrificial attempt to appease whatever wiffle deity gifted the pitch. Seriously, here are some pictures of what the broken zipper does to otherwise coordinated men:

Behind that pitching the DeLoppes’ defend the field smoothly: lots of ground balls, lots of clean plays and throws from the other Hoppe brothers, Bobby and BJ. Joey Delano playing LF gives them the big play ability in the field, as well, and is the big bat in their lineup. Cliff Comstock debuted in the September tournament and will join the everyday roster this season, providing the DeLoppes a relief arm out of their bullpen. The DeLoppes one problem is stringing together hits to produce runs. They get men on base, but cannot get timely hits to push them across the plate. Thus, they often find themselves unable to capitalize on chances in low-scoring affairs. Captain Chad Hoppe is promising a remedy for their offensive woes in the 2011 season with the additions of the bats of Nick Snow and Chucky McDonald to the roster. Chad has gone on record in offseason talks saying, “we won’t  just be heart and defense anymore.”

Wiffling DeLoppes' games are every bit deserving of the "wiffle" in their name: exciting, demanding, competitive, and always fun. If Chad is right and they get their offense clicking, even just enough to get two or three runs per game, they will find themselves atop the league standings and being gunned for in some of the most buzzed about playoff games come July. Oh yeah, in case you didn’t catch it, they divined their team name from a mash-up of the last names of their first roster: perhaps a real testament to a team made up of and depending on all of its parts.

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/wiffling-deloppes.html

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Brandon M. Corbett
F'n Squirrels, 17, P
President of Tangential Operations