Fan Bases

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We are just over one week away from Opening Weekend of WSEM's inaugural season and without throwing a pitch our teams are already growing in popularity and beginning to build fan bases. Some of the interest in our teams comes simply from friends and excited word of mouth: real grassroots franchise building from the ground up. Other teams' interest comes from the top down: having achieved national attention for one reason or another, and now cashing in on that spotlight. We have teams' popularity ranked by page views and are here to give the reasons why we think each team falls where they do in the public eye.

1. Belgian Wiffles
   501 page views
   
   
   The Belgian Wiffles are one of the teams with the large national fan base already. There are two key components to their widespread interest. The first is, quite simply, their name. It has received love on the NWLA message board, and been championed by the Wiffler's Digest blog. The second key to Belgian popularity most likely comes from their roster having connections to the Wifflehouse. Alan Garcia's Wifflehouse is one of Michigan's greatest wiffleball icons and is highly regarded by wiffler's around the country. Having members on your roster who have played there definitely raises your team's fame.
   
   So, what's in a name? Evidently, for the Belgian Wiffles, a lot, including the largest fan base in the league.
   
   
   
2. Git r' Done
   472 page views
   
   
   Coming in with WSEM's second largest fan base, Git r' Done is one of the teams who built their popularity in a grassroots fashion. Part of the younger generation they have gotten their friends interested in the success of the team. When accolades of Git r' Done players show up on facebook they get the quickest response and the most likes and comments. Another reason for piqued interest in Git r' Done stems from their rivalry on and off the field with the other young WSEM team, the Westide Warriors. The talk between the two is unavoidable, the games are thrilling, and everyone is excited to see what they are capable of accomplishing.
   
   Git r' Done's fan base is mostly local at the moment, but with the caliber of game they play and success they seem due for expect their national following to boom before this season is up.
   
   
   
3. Westside Warriors
   438 page views
   
   
   Westside is the one team other than Git r' Done who have the real ability to cultivate a large amount of local interest, turning their friends into Warriors fans. Obviously, they also benefit equally with Git r' Done from their intense rivalry, and have all eyes in the league on them. Expect the Warriors national popularity to explode, as well, when they shoot to the top of the standings and put up impressive numbers for all to see.
   
   The game Westside talks will keep local eyes on them, and the game they play should bring in a bunch of national attention.
   
   
   
4. Flying Squirrels
   423 page views
   
   
   The Flying Squirrels are another top-down, nationally followed team. The reason for this is obvious: league founders and commissioners Coffee and Corbett are the two most well known members of WSEM seen in the national light, and both play for the Squirrels. Basically, if you are seen you will be looked at.
   
   It is not all window dressing as the Squirrels' pedigree does make a case for itself (13-7 record, a championship), but if painting on a nice face draws greater interest the Squirrels will take it.
   
   
   
5. Jason Mattseals
   359 page views
   
   
   The Mattseals are the newest WSEM franchise and are already jumping up the popularity charts. They have led team page views every week since they signed on. I think this is all about the ladies. Well, the logo actually, but the chicks dig that seal!
   
   I suppose it could be all the new players checking in and site viewers checking in on the progress of the new guys, but c'mon... you know the Jason Mattseals want us to say they have all the ladies rooting for them.
   
   
   
6. Ass Kickers
   348 page views
   
   
   The Ass Kickers ranking as the sixth most popular WSEM franchise surprises me a bit. They have won they only championship they played for and have a massively hyped superstar pitcher, so why do they get overlooked. It could be due to that they have not played since last June or maybe their just recently completely roster, but I think it is due to the team's "in the clubhouse" mentality. They focus their attention on the field, on how to play the game. They are not outspoken or looking for any spotlight. The Ass Kickers do not seem to care about building up any hype, they will let impressions be formed by what they do on the field.
   
   I expect to things from the Ass Kickers: an impressive record and huge interest following their on-field success.
   
   
   
7. Wiffling DeLoppes
   346 page views
   
   
   The Wiffling DeLoppes fall into a similar trap as the Ass Kickers: they are not interested in anything outside of the game play itself, probably even less than the Ass Kickers. They spend no time around the trash talk, and look at online updates only on a limited basis. Most of the DeLoppes interaction with other teams is done in ways to help the league; either with ideas that might make things run smoother, or in reaching out to set schedules. It is funny, because on game day the DeLoppes roster are some of the most approachable, outspoken characters at the field.
   
   The DeLoppes are isolationists; it helps them fly under the radar. While that might not bode well for a fan base, it just may help them on the field: the element of surprise.
   
   
   
8. Campus Commandos
   265 page views
   
   
   The Commandos are the Marlins of WSEM; far behind in fan numbers. Even with their 15 man roster they are unable to draw in much attention. Then again, that shouldn't be much of a surprise. Captain Grant showed up to the Winter Meeting, but since then only one Commando has shown up to a Spring Training event: free agent pitcher, Joe Seto.
   
   This team has enough trouble drawing up interest from their lineup; how are they supposed to draw attention from others to grow a fan base?
   

But let's not go out on a low note! When you joined a wiffleball league you probably did not expect to create any sort of interest outside of the league; hell, it is hard enough telling your friends you play wiffleball, right? Well, you have, and the league's fan base is not limited to just national attention; this is WSEM Deportes! Every week the WSEM website receives visitors from around the world. Most international hits are on the Skinny, teams pages, and the front page. Our biggest international fan bases are found in Colombia and Germany with Denmark, Kuwait, and Canada close behind. I know what you are thinking: spammers. Maybe you are right, but c'mon get lost in the fever of the moment! Let yourself embrace your international fan base, and let WSEM Deportes bring them to you!

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Escritor Famoso

"Wind Up" Preview & Odds to Win

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

I have looked at more weather forecasts in the past week than a lottery junky does their fifty daily three tickets clutched in hand while drooling themselves into a coma staring at the screen. I have watched the first five and last five minutes of every local newscast and dug up new weather websites with the same aimless hope in mind as those daily lottery losers: just hoping for one thing to break my way. April is a terrible time for wiffleball; it is wet, windy, and can snap back to cold in one day’s span. Right now, it is sixty degrees, clear skies, and the wind is calm, but today is Wednesday not Saturday. In my continuously ravenous watching of Saturday’s forecast there is at least one lucky break: it is getting warmer! Into the mid fifties, now! However, the chance of rain keeps climbing, up to eighty percent now, and today has thrown in a wild card, the arch-nemesis of wiffleball, twenty-one mph winds. *Sigh*… So, close. Got one number right with my picks!

Whatever the weather chooses to throw at us on Saturday, WSEM will be playing our Preseason “Wind Up” Tournament as our final Spring Training event of the year before league play starts up in two weeks. This will be the first time for most league teams that (mostly) complete rosters are on the field together instead of pick up squads, so we will get our first look at how the teams look in 2011. Six of WSEM’s teams will brave the elements: Belgian Wiffles, Flying Squirrels, Git r’ Done, Jason Mattseals, Westside Warriors, and Wiffling DeLoppes. We will also be hosting, and possibly sheltering, two non-league teams: the Donkeys and “Travelers.”

The Donkeys have played in a couple of our tournaments over the past two years, and are captained by (P) Joe Seto of the Campus Commandos. The Donkeys were asked to join the league, but Joe was unable to get the commitment from the other guys for a full season. Later when Commandos team captain, Adam Grant, wanted to sign a regular to his roster with wiffle pitching experience, Joe, excited to get out and play this summer, answered the call and joined their roster. While they could not commit the time for league play, the Donkeys, like their captain, were quick to jump at the chance to play when the seventh and eighth tournament spots were left open by the Commandos and Ass Kickers. In their first tournament with us the Donkeys put up impressive numbers and went on a good run, however, in their second time out last September they did not fare as well. Still, the team is capable of good offensive numbers and Seto’s pitching is solid enough to give them the opportunity to win games.

The “Travelers” (an unofficial name, given since some of team is traveling down from Bay City) are captained by Jay Mac of the Belgian Wiffles. As parenthetically mentioned this team consists of Wifflehouse veterans, and even though they may only be bringing a three-man roster, they should still be considered dangerous… as well as VIPs who are important to impress.

As for the league teams, some will be coming with makeshift rosters. Belgian will field Buhr, Strawser, Lewis, and fill in gaps with two non-league players brought down from Bay City by Lewis. If there wasn’t already a healthy rivalry built-in having one of their players captaining another team for this tournament, then maybe having Bay City players on both teams, as well, will get the two teams after each other. The Flying Squirrels will fill McKinnie’s key spot in their outfield with the range and good hands of former Squirrel, Ryan Bullard, currently from the non-participating Ass Kickers roster.

Other league teams are either playing without pieces or still unsure of how many or who will be on their rosters. Git r’ Done will be without Nick Braden for most of the day, but do sound as though they will have four men in the field. Westside is certain that Shore, Malloy, and Whelan will be present, but are still uncertain if they will have a full four-man roster. If the Warriors do play with three, this will be their second consecutive tournament doing so; in September they placed second with only three players. The Jason Mattseals will make their first Spring Training appearance. Captain Imran Kakli has expressed that he wants his whole team to be together Saturday for the tournament, though it is unclear exactly which members of their roster will attend. Even the host team, the Wiffling DeLoppes, are unsure which pieces of their roster will be playing, but do expect to field at least four. The DeLoppes may be the one team excited for the wind and rain, even if it means their yard getting torn up, as the weather may keep Todd away from the action.

The two round-robin match-ups are set up for each team, and the schedule will be announced later this week. With rosters incomplete and consisting of replacement parts it makes calling the favorite a little bit tough. On top of that the weather conditions make calling the favorite even tougher. As forecast, the winds out of the south will favor lefties and opposite-field hitting righties. Westside, DeLoppes, and Belgian all have lefties in their lineups, so they get a slight bump from Mother Nature. The wind will mess with all pitchers’ stuff and make it impossible to make a call until Saturday when you can see who is capable of having what pitches working.

Betting men never miss a chance to play the odds, though. We put our best statistician on it and he came up with these numbers for odds to win the 2011 Spring Preseason “Wind Up” Tournament. So, get ready to pick the numbers that get you hard, clench your papers in hand, glue your eyes to the action, and zone out all else around you. The oddsman has your big money making opportunities on the Jason Mattseals as your long shot at 50:1, the Donkeys at 18:1, the Travelers at 15:1, Git r’Done a little safer at 12:1, and the Flying Squirrels at 10:1. The safer picks begin with the Westside Warriors and Wiffling DeLoppes both at 8:1, still bringing a good payoff if they win out, and leaving the Belgian Wiffles as the favorite to win it all at 5:1. “Safe” bets in this field with these conditions are anything but safe, really, and that is good luck in itself, since anywhere you put your money down you will be getting a good return. Okay, so maybe this really is more like playing the lottery than placing intelligent bets, but that is a great thing early in the year: the field is wide open!

Team Tuesdays: Jason Mattseals

Finding seven WSEM teams was a piece of cake. Finding an eighth… not so much. Evan Bortmas and his friends from the Manchester Wiffleball Association were the original owners of the eighth franchise, but in less than a week they dropped out. Then, the Johnny III Truckers signed on as the eighth team. They ended up leaving to form their own league. Since we had such bad luck expanding (literally) with those teams, we decided to look locally and finally found a stable eighth team: the Jason Mattseals.

There actually is some history to this team. In early April of 2009, Downriver Wiffle returned after a four year hiatus. A tournament was held at Owen Park in Trenton, and a whopping three teams showed up. The weather was bad and with only three teams playing the tournament was canceled and a pickup game was held instead. Well, one of those three teams that did show up that day was the Jason Mattseals.

The only member of the Mattseals who played in 2009 that is currently on the roster is Jason Matt. Jason was an active part of Downriver Wiffle in the early months of 2009. He did not play at all last year, but is once again back at it this year. Jason wears an ‘A’ as the admiral of the team, which is fitting if you have ever seen a picture of Admiral Nelson.


Rumors run rampant that the Admiral ran his ship aground and built a
practice facility from its hull; pitching machines may be retooled cannons.

Imran Kakli is the captain of the Mattseals, and proved himself a good one when he did a great job putting a roster together in only a few days. Although Imran's sport of choice is basketball, his competitive nature will do well for him in this league. The rest of the roster is filled with athletes who excelled in baseball and even one in tennis. Jeff Biegas, a former standout tennis star in high school, is a very nice addition to the Mattseals. Much like Imran, he does not like to lose. Jason Hewlett has been getting some hype as the Mattseals ace pitcher. He is a baseball junky that is ready to give the sport of wiffleball a chance. Dave Gibbons, Jeff Philipart, and Chris Slapnik round out the roster for this rookie squad.

The Mattseals greatest strength will be their ability to surprise. Rookie teams have always done well in our tournaments, and it will be interesting to see if a rookie team can do that in our league. I would not underestimate this team. Imran handpicked a roster full of competitors and athletes, and in this sport that can go a long way.

-
Carl Coffee
Flying Squirrels, 18, SS
Kissed by a Rose at Home Plate

Plate Appearance Music

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Nothing pumps you up to come through in the clutch like the perfect song booming out of the speakers at your home stadium joined by the thundering crowd as you step up to the plate. It’s grandiose, over the top and that is what it is all about! Make that one moment the most important, take it to a level that is… dare I say?… epic. A duel between you and the pitcher to bring your men home safe and win one for the good guys. Everything is cooler when you up its fantastic quality!

Now, obviously pressing play on a boombox for a five second walk to the plate every appearance in wiffle is going overboard. But what if we were to indulge the fantasy for a bit here and have some fun with our players, personalities, the common occurrences and frequent follies? What songs would make the perfect momentous or ridiculous plate appearance themes for WSEM’s players?

Note that I’m not saying these would make good themes just that they fit the player’s idiom.

“Unsung” – Helmet

Nick Braden

You’re a solid player, don’t let your team down on the field, put up good stats, and come through in the clutch, yet no one sings your praises. The life of the role player can be hard and unrewarding in the public eye, but damn can you still get a heavy theme song!

“I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor

Maclin Malloy

Mac fouls off pitches like nobody’s business; he won’t go down without a hell of a fight. While Cake’s remake of the song would be cooler, the ridiculous atmosphere of coming up to the plate with Gloria Gaynor blaring is just too perfect to pass up… and maybe it can knock the pitcher off his game.

“Don’t Lose my Number” – Phil Collins

Bobby Hoppe

The story behind this appearance theme comes from a facebook photo comment in which Bobby’s #9 is mocked and Bobby pleads his case that it was supposed to be #96! Not being given the right number is an even bigger slap in the face to role players everywhere than not getting your contributions talked up!

“Breaking Glass” – David Bowie

David Buhr

Have we run this broken glass story into the ground yet? Who cares!? I hope we do, because if we drive it into the ground we’ll be playing that card as hard David plays the game!

“The Perfect Song” – The National

Carl Coffee

This one is all about the album cover. What does that classy man in the pool have in his hand? That’s right: a wiffleball! Sun, pool, wiffle… Yeah, that sounds pretty damn perfect. Since Carl started the whole wiffle thing around here, we’ll give him the honor of basking in the glow!

“Facing the Firing Squad” – HiFi Handgrenades

Chris Lewis

Chris gets hit by more pitches than the rest of the league combined. He is a human ball magnet… meant in the best way possible. It has gotten to the point where he has started lighting up a cigarette and blindfolding himself before every at bat. True story.

“Bulldog Skin” – Guided by Voices

Alex Shore

Alex is the first Butler fan most of us have ever met, so he is pretty much the flesh and blood manifestation of a Butler Bulldog around the league. Besides, “I waited for a proud display. I played around. I heard the sound of certain trouble on the way . I got bulldog skin. I took a car. I drove it far,” are lyrics that fit kind of well with Shore, right?

“Bombs in the Distance” – The Holy Fire

Dennis Pearson

While a lot of the focus on Dennis is given (deservingly) to his pitching arm, he is also the only player to have hit multiple home runs during Spring Training this year. Missiles on the mound, and hitting bombs at the plate: Dennis is an arsenal.

“Rubber Band Man” – Detroit Spinners (as performed by Electric Six)

Chad Hoppe

Technically the phrase is “pulled the string,” but a rubber band’s elasticity is going to whip, snap, and make the ball dance even more. “You’re bound to lose control when the rubber band starts to jam,” watch batters take swings, they nearly fall out of their shoes! String is for baseball; Chad and a wiffleball take it to the next level: rubber.

“Quiet” – This will Destroy You

Joe Seto

Joe has played in two tournaments with us and has quietly put up very good numbers. He and his stats have gone largely unnoticed around the league, but that seems to go over fine with Joe: he won’t run his mouth, he’ll just let his production on the field speak for him.

One more, not for a plate appearance, but that could be blared during our fourth inning stretch as a league wide anthem:

“Born to Run” – K-oS

Because if you’re not running the bases, you’re not having half the fun you should be out there!

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
DJ Wiffy Wiff

8 Observations from Yesterday's Scrimmage

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

The season is four weeks away, and players from six different teams shook off some rust and scrimmaged at Chad Hoppe's house in Monroe. It was a nice change of pace to play with guys from other teams, and fun times were had. Earlier in the year, I wrote an article on 8 Preseason Predictions. After watching a lot of guys play yesterday, I will now rework some of my predictions with eight observations I made.

1. Bobby Hoppe of the Wiffling DeLoppes is a much improved hitter. The youngest Hoppe brother looks like a completely different player at the plate this year. He is a lot more aggressive and fearless at the plate, and if he continues this, it could be the offensive boost his team needs to take them to the top.
   
2. Matt Murtha of the Flying Squirrels is an extremely underrated pitcher. On a team with a star pitcher Brandon Corbett, Matt Murtha is very much overlooked. In his few innings of work on the mound yesterday, he was accurate and dominant. Having him on the Squirrels roster will give Corbett relief when he needs some rest, and that is invaluable.
   
3. Alex Shore of the Westside Warriors will be the league's loudest shit talker. Whether Alex is pitching, hitting, in the field, on the bases, or just watching the game, this kid likes to talk. The part about Alex that is most entertaining is he does not forget anything. I am positive if you screw up a play in May, he will tell you about it in August. Although Alex is much younger than most league players, he is not intimidated by anyone.
   
4. Brian Constanti of the Ass Kickers is still dominant at the plate and on the mound. Hey, if you got every prediction right, they wouldn't be any fun! It was nice to play with the Constanti brothers yesterday, and it appears that Brian will not be a one hit wonder. No team in the league relies more on a single player, and if Brian can perform at the level he is capable of, the Ass Kickers could be taking home a trophy at the end of the season.
   
5. Chris Lewis of the Belgian Wiffles looks like he has been a wiffleball pitcher for years. Rookie Chris Lewis has quickly become one of the league's most active players. Chris loves to play, and he is only going to get better. He is a polarizing player, and when he takes the mound, he looks comfortable and poised. I am very curious to see how the Wiffles will do this year.
   
6. Dennis Pearson of Git R’ Done is a beast. It is safe to say the home run title is his to lose. Dennis was the only person to hit a home run yesterday, and he did it twice. No lead will be safe when playing Git R’ Done, because Dennis can change the game with one swing of the bat. Dennis also has a scary fast ball. He took the criticism about his accuracy problems like a man, and used his game to speak for him.
   
7. Maclin Malloy of the Westwide Warriors has the craziest windup in the league. Although his windup has caused some controversy, it is legal and effective. Maclin uses his entire body when he pitches, and he makes the ball do some crazy stuff. While pitchers like Chad Hoppe and Corbett showed only a fraction of their dominant pitchers yesterday, Maclin didn't hold back. When the Double Zero is on, the Warriors opponents will be putting up some zeros of their own.
   
8. Wiffle is Southeast Michigan is a pitcher's league. When we first started hosting completive wiffleball tournaments in 2005, the league was all about the home run and high offensive numbers. It is obviously no longer that, and pitching is now the name of the game. I am very curious to see the offensive leading stats at the end of the season. We could easily have a batting champ with a sub .300 average, or a home run champ with less than 10 homers. On the other end, the pitching leaders will have mind blowing stats. As someone who used to hit around .500 and hit home runs on a regular basis, I know now, those days are, to use a phrase we will not get to use often, loooong gone.

Thanks again to everyone who showed up yesterday, and a big thanks to Chad Hoppe for his hospitality. . It was a blast and I know this season is going to be be full of these fun times.

-

Carl Coffee

Flying Squirrels, 18, SS

The Eye of the Storm