Walk-up Music 2012: Vol. 1

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Walk-up themes! Mmmm, yeah! Let's get sexy! This year I am going to put these out in small doses, like a series of EPs throughout the year. Remember what the thought behind this is: first, an amusing anecdote about the player to hopefully get a chuckle, then - only as an accidental afterthought - the "cool" factor you would normally go for with a walk-up theme. Come to think of it, that's kind of the thought behind Wiffle all the time. Get excited, because here we go!


"I'll Tumble 4 Ya"  - Culture Club -  Jason Matt  -  Jason Mattseals



Jason is no stranger to laying out for pop flies, whether he's tracking back towards the wall or sprawling off the mound. And sometimes his eyes reach a little further than his arms, or body. Nevertheless, if he has any shot at the ball at all, Jason will tumble for ya!



"Ace is in the House"  - Tone Loc -  Mike Constanti  -  Flying Squirrels



Ever since his new captain gave him the number-one starter job with the Squirrels, reports have frequently come in of Mike traveling from club to club with an entourage that belts out "yo' ace is in the house" with each ever-more grandiose entrance. We don't expect a lowly boombox; we expect a DJ and full-on dance routine!



"Rollin' with Kid N' Play"  - Kid N' Play -  Josh Nagorski  -  Thunder Ducks



According to commissioner Coffee, Josh is a kid. According to his 2011 playoffs, Nagorski can play. He's willing to laugh off the former, especially if the low-light of the "kid" nickname can help prove the latter to his neasayers.



"Escape from Ohio"  - Electric Six -  Eric Pfefferle  -  Campus Commandos



Eric lives in Perrysburg, OH. Let's just say it; no ifs, ands, or buts... having us to get him the heck out of there is the best thing "Pfeiffer" has going on!



"I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)"  - Genesis -  BJ Hoppe  -  Wiffling DeLoppes



BJ comes to the park dressed for the big time: home white pants, road grey pants, always high-cuffed; the only way to wear your baseball pants. Sure, he could rock a song like "Sharp Dressed Man", but BJ's style is unique on the Wiffle diamond, and all you can say is, "he knows what he likes." Or that Petey G. fits better than the beards.

Two-fer Team Tuesdays: Double Ds - DeLoppes

by Mike Constanti I am here to bring you what I think are the hands-down favorites to win the 2012 WSEM championship, the most complete and well-balanced team in the league, the Wiffling DeLoppes. Last season this team came up short in the championship series against a very powerful Git r' Done team (now the Thunder Ducks). Chad Hoppe has his team ready to compete every series, and still has that nasty pitch that I dubbed "the broken zipper".

Joey DeLano at bat while 2011 RotY Nick Snow sizes up the pitcher. The DeLoppes powerful offense is led by the best player in the game: Joey DeLano. Check the record books if you challenge that claim. He has it all: wonderful hitter who can hit for power, has speed to burn and the best hands in the field. If you hit the ball in his direction, he will make double and triple plays happen all day long. Joey is not the only threat the DeLoppes possess, though; there are literally no weak spots in the batting order. From short-swinging Cliff Comstock and rookie sensation Nick Snow (who always puts the ball in play) to high OBP man BJ Hoppe, and, who I feel is the most underrated player in the league, Bobby Hoppe.

If you think that offense is tough, try hitting off Chad, Cliff, Bobby, or their closer Chuck McDonald. Yeah, the DeLoppes have a closer in the pen, and that helps make up best staff in Wiffleball. Not taking anything away from the Thunder Ducks with Pearson as their workhorse, but you will not see a stable of horses like the DeLoppes have. Cliff Comstock takes the mound at Frenchtown Field  -  BJ and Bobby Hoppe try to manufacture a run.

Their ballpark, Frenchtown Field, is well-suited to their style of play. Perfectly suited in fact. They play fast. With the new tag up rules in place, expect flames coming out of their asses rounding second and heading into third. I could go on and on about these guys, and with good reason: I believe this is their year. The DeLoppes are returning their complete roster, are only going to get better, and are built in a way to benefit from the new rule changes. I do not see anyone beating this team at all.

Two-fer Team Tuesday: Double Ds - Donkeys

by Adam G. The Donkeys are the Northwestern Wildcats of WSEM - purple notwithstanding. They are not the most talented team in the league, but have the ability to beat anyone at any time. They have a solid core of players that have played together and know each other, which is a good base. Joe Seto also welcomes a few veteran players to his core unit: Alex Shore and Maclin Ma…. I avoid typing his whole name due to each letter referring to how many games he will likely come to.

Joe Seto on the mound in front of former captain, your author, Adam G. We all know Alex Shore has the biggest mouth in the league. However, Joe Seto had the advantage of playing for Adam Grant last season, so he should have a basic knowledge for handling individuals who like to talk a lot on the field. The Donkeys could still provide the first scandal to hit WSEM, though. With Joe Seto being an avid photographer, it would not surprise me to see Seto taking pictures of Deloppes practices. Thus, adding New England Patriots of WSEM to their comparative monikers, if only in terms of questionable - yet artistic - tactics for game preparation.

Spagnuolo rips a shot down the RF line. On the field, the stats for Don Shaw and Joe "Spags" Spagnuolo from last season are nothing to brag about (.111/.182 AVG and .273/.345 OBP, respectively; 9 TB in 10 combined GP), but with a full season I expect both will improve on their stats. Alex Shore provides increased batting presence with his .417 AVG, .787 SLG, 12 HR, 100 TB and 39 RBI from 2011. If Joe Seto can finish the season like he began 2011 (.397 AVG, .828 SLG, and 8 HR through the first five weeks of the season), this could be the Miguel Cabrera/Prince Fielder batting order that the Donkeys have been trying to secure during the offseason.

My prediction: The Donkeys will end the season in the middle of the league, with a few upsets scored along the way. If Shore is able to regularly bring some of his Westside Warrior buddies into the lineup, such as Whelan or Myers, this team might even finish better than that. Seto offers only the following comment: What? No bold Commandos vs. Donkeys prediction?

Interview: Chad Hoppe

		Captains Corner
		with David Buhr

Chad Hoppe may not be feared like Dennis Pearson, however, he is a force to be reckoned with on the mound. Though Dennis may be the most feared, Chad is perhaps the most lethal. Finesse can often be underrated, leading people to believe a power pitcher is harder to hit, when in fact it's that perfectly placed breaking ball that buckles a player's knees-something Mr. Hoppe knows all too well. Chad seems to recognize that pitching is an art and is perhaps the most masterful artist in our Wiffleball league. He is who I would call the "Greg Maddux" of our league. The use of power pitching seemingly escapes Chad, but there is no need with his fine tuned arsenal. In fact, exaggerations abound when speaking of how many pitches this great artist can hurl. Also, beware of his "Benjamin Button" syndrome-and since he looks so much younger than he is, he can fool you by making you think he lacks the experience, but trust me, it's there.

Full Name: Chad Vincent Hoppe #61
Birthday: April 5
Height: .00113 Miles
Weight: .45 Carls

1. How did you come up with your team name?

When I started the team, there was just Joey (DeLano), my brothers, and me, so I combined our last names... and it stuck.

2. How many different pitches do you actually throw (I've heard as high as 15 but I don't know if that's an exaggeration or not)?

I throw about 9 different pitches... Well, I mean I have 9 different combinations of grip and arm slot angle... but who realy knows what a wiffleball is going to do? and that's why it seams that I throw more pitches.

3. Do you think the league will be more competitive this year or do you think that only a couple of teams will dominate the league?

Adding the rotation rule alone will make the league more competitive. Having a year of experience under the belts of many new players also will help.

4. Who do you think is the most underrated player on your team and why?

The guys on my team played in many games. They are proven. We don't have a team full of unknowns with unknown potential that played in a handful of games. But, if had to pick one, I'd go with Snow. He did have a good season, but he is much better than his numbers.

5. I heard that you were somewhat influential with the new pitching rule? Do you think it will help the league be more competitive? And as a pitcher yourself, how do you think it will affect you and your team?

My brothers and I suggested it. I answered the next question in #3, and we already used a rotation last year, so it won't affect our defense. On the other hand, it will have a positive effect on our offense, and other teams' offenses as well.

6. What was your favorite sport growing up?

I have always been a Tiger fan; so, baseball has always been my fave.

7. What was your favorite hobby?

I have been collecting baseball cards and memorabilia since I was little.

8. Did you ever have any cool or crazy nicknames? If so, any good stories behind any of them?

No, nothing cool or crazy, but in high school I went by "Marlin". Also, Choppy, Chadwick, Chadalack and just plain Hoppe have been thrown my way over the years.

9. Random question: Have you ever been told you look like anyone famous?

Boris Becker, Eric Stoltz, Kris Draper, The Heat Miser

10. How do you feel about all the trash talk that goes on? Is it healthy for the league? Is there too much of it? Should it be toned down? Or do you just sit back and enjoy seeing it happen?

You suck, your team sucks, you have no sportsmanship. We're gonna kick your butt, my team is the best, we're gonna repeat, you don't know what you're talking about, your field sucks, these rules suck... What's not to like about it?
Thanks David

2012 Preseason Top Ten: Hitters

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

Determining the top ten hitters in the league is a lot tougher than ranking the pitchers. Obviously, everyone in the league bats, therefore the pool of players to choose from is much higher. It was so difficult picking only ten, I had to pick 11. To keep it a top ten list though, I’ll call the first two I name, 10a and 10b. There are a lot of very good hitters I had to leave off this list, and I will not be surprised to see my revised mid-season top ten list to have five or six different players on it. With that said, enjoy this list that even shocked me a bit!


10a. Josh Nagorski  -  Thunder Ducks

Josh can easily be forgotten about on his stacked Thunder Ducks team. With star offensive players Dennis Pearson and Dylan Braden in the spotlight, Josh quite often gets overlooked. I personally did not take notice of Josh’s offensive greatness until the playoffs, when he had an 8 for 8 game against the Jason Mattseals. Josh finished the postseason season with a .304 batting average, and his 14 playoff hits tied him for second in the league. Although Josh doesn’t have the power numbers his teammates have, he is the perfect table setter for the Thunder Ducks.



10b. Cliff Comstock  -  Wiffling DeLoppes

You are going to see a lot of DeLoppes on this list, but this DeLoppe has to surprise you the most. Cliff wasn’t on my original top ten list, but after looking at his 2011 regular season stats, I would be a fool to leave him off. Cliff optimizes a patient hitter. He waits for his pitch and if he doesn’t see it during an at bat, he is more than happy to take a walk. In 128 plate appearances, Cliff walked 31 times. That ranked him fourth in the league and first among the players on this list. He doesn’t have great power, but still finished the season with two home runs. His most impressive stats in my opinion were his.508 on base percentage and his .351 batting average. Cliff would be the perfect leadoff hitter for any team in the league, but since the DeLoppes have Joey DeLano, they get to use him as one the best #2 hitters.



9. Austin Bischoff  -  WWA

I might get in trouble for this, but I truly believe Austin is deserving of this spot. Obviously his pitching overshadows his hitting, but his offensive numbers from 2011 weren’t bad at all. Austin only had 26 plate appearances during the regular season where he hit .348. In the playoffs however, which showed a sharp decline in most everyone’s offensive numbers, Austin excelled. Besides Whelan and Chris Lewis who only played in two playoff games, Austin led the league in playoff batting average, hitting .343. His 12 hits were the highest among players who did not play in the championship series. His low power numbers can be attributed to playing all of his games at the Drey, which is a very tough field to hit home runs at. Midseason, when I make new top ten hitters list, I guarantee you will see Austin on it, and he’ll be ranked higher than ninth.



8. Brandon Corbett  -  Flying Squirrels

Offensive production was not a strong suit for the Flying Squirrels in 2011. Corbett was hyped up to be their main offensive provider, but had a very slow start. When he was demoted to their #3 pitcher, he was able to focus solely on hitting. You then saw a tremendous increase in his offensive numbers. Corbett’s .306 batting average isn’t earth shattering, but when you combine that with his .425 OBP and a .537 SLG, you start to see why he is such a valuable offensive player. His seven home runs in 2011 would easily be in double digits if he: A) did not play his home games at the Drey, and B) did not have two or three 100-foot home runs robbed by Danny Johnson. Corbett claims to hate taking walks but he did have 25 of them, which does show great patience at the plate. The Squirrels have already said Corbett will bat 3rd for them going into the 2012 season. He will also have a full season focusing only on hitting, and that should mean his numbers will easily improve from 2011.



7. Dylan Braden  -  Thunder Ducks

The second half of the DD Boys did not disappoint in 2011. Dylan was predicted to be a top five home run hitter last season; he made me look smart by finishing in 5th with nine home runs. He added two more home runs in the playoffs which show that Dylan is a threat to go deep at any time. Dylan’s offensive numbers were great in every category. He batted .340, had a .469 OBP, .621 SLG, and also had 29 RBIs. I only saw one flaw in his game, if you even want to call it that. If Dylan doesn’t knock the ball over the fence for a home run, he usually only settles for a wimpy single. He finished the regular season with zero doubles but did have one rare triple. Dylan also benefits by batting ahead of slugger Dennis Pearson. If your strategy is to pitch around Pearson, you face the tough task of having to pitch to Dylan first. Dylan many times has hurt you if you choose that route. I believe you will see a solid 2012 season out of the younger Braden brother. I’ll make that prediction an even bolder one by saying he will hit more home runs than he did last year.



6. Bobby Hoppe  -  Wiffling DeLoppes

Going into the 2011 season, everyone thought the DeLoppes only had one offensive threat in their lineup, Joey DeLano. Boy, were we wrong! The sample of the youngest Hoppe brother’s stats from tournament play was not very impressive. Well, it is safe to say regular season Bobby is A LOT better than tournament play Bobby. Bobby can do it all at: he can hit for average, power, and has good speed on the base paths. He finished the 2011 season with a .373 batting average, .505 OBP, and a .613 SLG%. Bobby also had an OPS of 1.119, which ranked him 5th. Hitting home runs isn’t a part of Bobby’s game, but when he wants to go deep, he can. He ended the season with three round trippers along with 26 RBIs. The DeLoppes are stacked with talent, so many times Bobby goes under the radar. Attention WSEM pitchers, never overlook Bobby Hoppe again!



5. Joe Seto  -  Donkeys

If you read what I wrote about Joe Seto in the pitching article, you saw that he carried the Commandos last season on the mound. Well, he also carried them at the plate. Seto led the Commandos in every single offensive category except for walks. Yes, he played his home games at a very friendly hitter’s field, but, opposing pitchers many times pitched around Seto to face weaker hitters. As the season went on, Seto saw less and less hittable pitches. Seto started the 2011 season on a tear, and was even in early MVP talks. As the season progressed, his stats did decline, but he still finished with amazing numbers. Nobody on this top ten list had more plate appearances (167) or at bats (140) than Seto. His 43 hits, 11 home runs, and 37 RBI’s all ranked him 4th in the league. Seto will now be on a team with a solid group of hitters, so you can no longer pitch around him. I don’t expect his power numbers to be as high this season, but I do predict Seto will improve on his .307 batting average, and .419 OBP.



4. Nick Snow  -  Wiffling DeLoppes

The 2011 WSEM Rookie of the Year and NWLA All-Rookie 2nd Teamer had a remarkable season. He gave the DeLoppes another threat at the plate, and was consistently a force in the middle of their lineup. Nick Snow is just about the same player as Bobby Hoppe, with slightly better statistics. Snow’s most impressive numbers were his .379 batting average, nine doubles, 35 RBIs, and 1.134 OPS which was fourth best in the league. I believe that if Snow wanted to be a power hitter, he could be. His four home runs seem low, but it is only because he is content with just getting on base or knocking in a runner, not trying to be a hero. Snow also in my opinion is the most fearless hitter in the league. There is nobody else in the league that can make contact at such a consistent level against fireballers such as Pearson or Bischoff. Snow is a great fit for the fundamentally sound DeLoppes, and he should easily have another All-Star caliber season.



3. Alex Shore  -  Donkeys

The most controversial and outspoken player in WSEM comes in at third in the hitter’s rankings. Some of the league may not care for Alex, but they respect him. So much so, he was voted in as an All-Star last season. How could you not vote for Alex when you see his stats? Alex ranked in the top three in almost every offensive category. His .417 batting average, .516 OBP, .787 SLG, and 1.304 OPS ranked second best. His 12 home runs, 39 RBIs, and 100 total bases all ranked third best. Alex was the only consistent player in the revolving door roster of the Westside Warriors last season. His 22 games played which resulted in 155 plate appearances and 127 at bats ranked near the top of the league. Alex got a lot of heat for his short porch in right field at his home, The Reservation. Yes, you probably wouldn’t have seen 12 home runs for Alex if he had average dimensions out there, but that doesn’t take away from his dominant 2011 season. I believe if The Reservation had average RF dimensions, it would have resulted in more doubles and triples for Alex, and his batting average and OBP would be close to the same. Alex will play the 2012 season with the Donkeys, but will still play his home games at The Reservation. Alex will also miss part of the season because of surgery. It is unknown how many games he will miss, but it is safe to say he will once again be an offensive force in this league.



2. Dennis Pearson  -  Thunder Ducks

Dennis Pearson is a maniac. To be ranked as the #1 pitcher in the league and #2 hitter is an incredible feat. Dennis is the purest power hitter in WSEM. Nobody is feared more to go deep at any time than him. Although DeLano had the regular season Home Run title, if you combine playoff home runs with regular season ones, Dennis edged him out, 20-18. Dennis did win the RBI crown, finishing with 52 overall. Although he is above average in statistics such as batting average (.390) and OBP (.457), those aren’t exactly mind blowing. The reason why is simple, Dennis doesn’t want to just get out base, he wants to hit the ball over the fence in every at bat. Dennis crushed the ball in the playoffs, hitting five home runs. The #2 HR hitter in the playoffs only had two. That is what impresses me most about Dennis; he is a gamer when his team needs him the most. There is no doubt in my mind that Dennis will have another great season. He should easily be close to 20 HRs, 50 RBIs, and a .400 batting average. I also predict he will take the home run crown away from DeLano.



1. Joey DeLano  -  Wiffling DeLoppes

I hope you are sitting down for this, because what you are about to read will blow you away. Joey DeLano’s 2011 season was *insert ridiculous adjective of your choice* amazing. In a year where pitchers dominated, DeLano simply destroyed the ball. Before I list off DeLano’s statistics, I found it pretty cool that he was the only player in the league to play in all 28 games. Some of that can be attributed to luck, since the DeLoppes never took a forfeit or had to forfeit. Still, playing in every single game is an impressive feat on its own. DeLano led the league in eleven offensive categories. His .560 batting average was .143 points higher than second best, Shore. DeLano is also the fastest base runner in the league, which helped him score the most runs at 53. Out of DeLano’s 61 total hits, 16 were doubles, 3 were triples, and 17 were home runs. That gave DeLano an incredible 1.229 SLG. If you add that to his .639 OBP, it equals a 1.868 OPS. That is just a stupid number! DeLano easily earned the MVP award, to go along with the batting and HR crown. He was an obvious All-Star nod, and on a national scale, he made the NWLA 1st Team for hitters. Last preseason, I put DeLano as the #1 hitter and he did not disappoint. He will once again finish at the top because quite frankly, you cannot stop this guy!