Two-fer Team Tuesdays: Double Ds - DeLoppes

by Mike Constanti I am here to bring you what I think are the hands-down favorites to win the 2012 WSEM championship, the most complete and well-balanced team in the league, the Wiffling DeLoppes. Last season this team came up short in the championship series against a very powerful Git r' Done team (now the Thunder Ducks). Chad Hoppe has his team ready to compete every series, and still has that nasty pitch that I dubbed "the broken zipper".

Joey DeLano at bat while 2011 RotY Nick Snow sizes up the pitcher. The DeLoppes powerful offense is led by the best player in the game: Joey DeLano. Check the record books if you challenge that claim. He has it all: wonderful hitter who can hit for power, has speed to burn and the best hands in the field. If you hit the ball in his direction, he will make double and triple plays happen all day long. Joey is not the only threat the DeLoppes possess, though; there are literally no weak spots in the batting order. From short-swinging Cliff Comstock and rookie sensation Nick Snow (who always puts the ball in play) to high OBP man BJ Hoppe, and, who I feel is the most underrated player in the league, Bobby Hoppe.

If you think that offense is tough, try hitting off Chad, Cliff, Bobby, or their closer Chuck McDonald. Yeah, the DeLoppes have a closer in the pen, and that helps make up best staff in Wiffleball. Not taking anything away from the Thunder Ducks with Pearson as their workhorse, but you will not see a stable of horses like the DeLoppes have. Cliff Comstock takes the mound at Frenchtown Field  -  BJ and Bobby Hoppe try to manufacture a run.

Their ballpark, Frenchtown Field, is well-suited to their style of play. Perfectly suited in fact. They play fast. With the new tag up rules in place, expect flames coming out of their asses rounding second and heading into third. I could go on and on about these guys, and with good reason: I believe this is their year. The DeLoppes are returning their complete roster, are only going to get better, and are built in a way to benefit from the new rule changes. I do not see anyone beating this team at all.

Two-fer Team Tuesday: Double Ds - Donkeys

by Adam G. The Donkeys are the Northwestern Wildcats of WSEM - purple notwithstanding. They are not the most talented team in the league, but have the ability to beat anyone at any time. They have a solid core of players that have played together and know each other, which is a good base. Joe Seto also welcomes a few veteran players to his core unit: Alex Shore and Maclin Ma…. I avoid typing his whole name due to each letter referring to how many games he will likely come to.

Joe Seto on the mound in front of former captain, your author, Adam G. We all know Alex Shore has the biggest mouth in the league. However, Joe Seto had the advantage of playing for Adam Grant last season, so he should have a basic knowledge for handling individuals who like to talk a lot on the field. The Donkeys could still provide the first scandal to hit WSEM, though. With Joe Seto being an avid photographer, it would not surprise me to see Seto taking pictures of Deloppes practices. Thus, adding New England Patriots of WSEM to their comparative monikers, if only in terms of questionable - yet artistic - tactics for game preparation.

Spagnuolo rips a shot down the RF line. On the field, the stats for Don Shaw and Joe "Spags" Spagnuolo from last season are nothing to brag about (.111/.182 AVG and .273/.345 OBP, respectively; 9 TB in 10 combined GP), but with a full season I expect both will improve on their stats. Alex Shore provides increased batting presence with his .417 AVG, .787 SLG, 12 HR, 100 TB and 39 RBI from 2011. If Joe Seto can finish the season like he began 2011 (.397 AVG, .828 SLG, and 8 HR through the first five weeks of the season), this could be the Miguel Cabrera/Prince Fielder batting order that the Donkeys have been trying to secure during the offseason.

My prediction: The Donkeys will end the season in the middle of the league, with a few upsets scored along the way. If Shore is able to regularly bring some of his Westside Warrior buddies into the lineup, such as Whelan or Myers, this team might even finish better than that. Seto offers only the following comment: What? No bold Commandos vs. Donkeys prediction?

The Balls: 1st Inning

[Mike Constanti takes center stage today debuting his column that is sure to get a reaction and generate some buzz around WSEM this offseason. Here is Mike with The Balls.]

INTRO:

What's up to all the Wiffle ball freaks out there? Mike Constanti here to give you all not only something to read about while taking a ..., but a trip to the underbelly of what is known as the WSEM. I'm gonna put out 5 articles over the offseason on what has been pissing me off, who deserves a reality check, and my annual run down of the bottom 5 teams and why they sucked! Kind of like Ken Burns baseball. Get it? 5 innings, 5 articles. If you get through the entire article pissed off, there will be a bonus article which I'll mention in the end. So, without further ado let's get it on!


Inning 1: Why do players believe their shit smells good?
What's that smell? It's everywhere. All teams got one. I sometimes get caught up in it. It's that odor that can make or break your game. It's that player who believes he's the shit. It smells like dandelions. No one can touch them. Oh, lord, "I am the shit" syndrome. To tell you the truth, nothing pisses me off more than when someone grandstands in front of the opposition (to the dismay of teammates), that he is gods gift to wiffleball, and everyone sucks and can eat a big fat one. Even though the player talking shit isn't that good, his team is getting their asses handed to them, or is in complete denial that you are good and he is just having an off day. In my opinion, I always believe you earn your stripes, get the respect you deserve by playing hard and let the stats speak for themselves. People just cannot come in and declare themselves to be the next Joey DeLano. The best players do not have to be outspoken. It takes a team to win in Wiffleball. As much of a beating the Ass Kickers took, I enjoyed playing with Bully, my brother, and Kirk. We didn't show off or talk shit. We know who we are and we didn't brag about it. I feel that the league is full of guys who need a quick reality check. I'm gonna give it to them. Here are my top three Dandelions of the sport that get on my damn nerves sometimes or all the time:

3.) Chris Lewis - It hurts me to put him on this list, because he is such a great guy. A lot of respect for him. The reason for Chris being here is that he has a mouth to go with that so called "intimidating" riser (not !). Great! He pitched in almost every game for Belgian last season. The part that irks me is that he brags about the amount of K'S he recorded and considers himself to be one of the elite pitchers of our game. Here is the reality check: granted I feel he is a top 10 pitcher. More towards number 10, though. He needs a better secondary pitch to make his riser more effective. It is mostly a go to pitch and everyone anticipates it. Three of my four homers came off that pitch. He may be the number-two man in the rotation for the Ducks, but I think he is the third best pitcher behind Pearson and Dylan Braden.

2.) Me - I am writing this article. Enough said.

1.) Alex Shore - This doesn't hurt me at all. In fact, he is the poster child for being full of shit. Nothing proves that to me more than the way his field looks, the smarmy arrogance, and lack of sportsmanship. I consider him the Rick Flair of our sport. He can wow and dazzle you with his speed and play on the field, but then he comes up to you and gives you a low blow from behind. His character shows when his team doesn't even want to play ball for him. That is sad. Talking shit ain't good when your team is getting their butts kicked. Example: Chris Kirk wanting to tear Alex and the Warriors' heads off after a poor sport attitude from him and his team after they got eliminated by the Ass Kickers in the playoffs. The worst part of all this is that Alex is an extremely talented player. He doesn't need a 65' right field wall or the shit talking. Top 5 player in the league. I don't know if it's immaturity or what. Hate to see what little respect he has go away because of his arrogance. I would take him on my team in a heart beat. That sucks. I hope that next season with the Donkeys he can straighten up and make them a huge contender for the title. He is in good hands with Joe Seto, but is it enough?

To end this topic, I feel that people should understand we play a game that we play growing up in the backyards, sandlots, or even the street you live on. There is no need for being full of shit and ruining this wonderful experience we have with the WSEM. It is for fun. Right?


Teams that sucked last season:
The Jason Mattseals

Great things happen to great people. I have a hard time believing that, because what Jason Matt went through last year is bullshit! His team struggled out the gate and it took them nearly two months to get in the win column. A lot of close games. The offense, aside from Jeff Biegas, was putrid to put it nicely. I think two or three guys were in the bottom five in offensive stats. Jason Hewlett got better as the season went on, but the team lacked a number-two starter. It is sad to see a team of good guys come out and make every game, just to get their butts kicked. They did make believers out of some people when they almost knocked out the champs, Git r' Done, in the playoffs. These guys have improved. They need a couple hitters and another pitcher to get there. Until then, it is batting practice for game days when scheduled to play the Mattseals.

That is it for Inning 1. Hope you guys liked this, but I don't expect you to. If you have any anger you would like to vent out, for our bonus section for the next article, fire away at my email, facebook post on my account or the league's, or give me a call and I will come out to drive Brian's truck on your front lawn. Top three complaints will make the article with a response from yours truly. In a couple weeks will be Inning 2: The art of ... Until next time Constanti out!