What Could Have Been...?

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

The Whiteford Wicked Aces are the two-time defending champs, and it is a safe assumption that if they win it all in 2014 you can call them a dynasty. As I think about their dominance over the past two seasons, my mind wanders to the Manchester Punchouts and their historic 2012 season.

Just like the Wicked Aces, the Manchester Punchouts joined WSEM in 2012 and also once had their own league. Evan Bortmas was the commissioner of the Manchester Wiffleball League and then became the captain of the Punchouts when they joined WSEM. They had a great field, dominant pitching, lightning speed, flawless fielding, and even hit well in the ‘Year of the Pitcher.’

After starting the season 1-2, they then pulled off 25 straight wins to finish 26-2. They beat the Aces three times in the regular season, swept the very talented Belgian Wiffles and Thunder Ducks teams, and rolled into the playoffs super-hot. In the 2nd round they took care of Belgian three games to one, and then they were matched up with the Aces in the Best of 7 Championship Series.

At this point in the season the Punchouts were rolling with three guys: Bortmas, Sam Hatt, and Dakota LaDouceur. So not only were they dominating the league, but they dominated with one less fielder than their competitors. The problem though with only having three committed guys was that if one of them could not make it, the team did not have enough to play. So guess what happened as we were ready to start the Championship? Yep...

The league truly was robbed in 2012. That would have been an amazing Championship to watch and be a part of. The Aces took home the Commissioner’s Cup, the Punchouts broke up with the players all joining different teams in 2013, and the rest is history.

What if the Punchouts would have been able to play the 2012 Championship Series? They probably would have won it all. That is not a slam against the Aces. Check out the stats and their head to head regular season meetings: the Punchouts were just better. To be honest, I truly believe they were the best team in the entire NWLA that year.

So if the Punchouts would have won, would they have then returned in 2013 to defend their title? Would they be the team in the midst of being called a dynasty? Would Bortmas, Hatt, and LaDouceur be the players winning National Wiffy Awards? I cannot help but think what could have been.

No Orchiding: a Wolfpack Prognostication

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We may have our first good omen for a team in the 2014 season, and it appears to come for the Wolfpack. Yesterday, Pantone Inc. announced "radiant orchid" - a hue very similar to one being used by the Wolfpack - as the 2014 color of the year.

"Orchid is growing on us: A version of the purple hue is Pantone Inc.'s color of the year for 2014." - Detroit Free Press

"Officially known as radiant orchid, the tropical shade is... a little different, it's a little off the beaten path... It's an invitation to innovation," a Free Press article announcing the decision detailed. Off the beaten path and a little different, huh? Well, if that doesn't signal an innate connection with Wiffleball, I don't know what does. And the part about being an invite for innovation? That can only suggest great things for the 'Pack, and it's just the beginning.

Colleen Sharin, senior fashion director for Saks Fifth Avenue, goes on to praise radiant orchid as, "very relevant for spring, but I think even going into next fall (it will be)." Obviously, Sharin speaks to its place in fashion, but in our interconnected world her words promise even greater results in the context of Wiffleball. "Into the fall," is commonly used in MLB lingo when talking about playoff runs or races. Even though WSEM ends our season in August, it's not hard to extrapolate the meaning over to our game: being very relevant in the playoff picture. Any team has to like having that behind them.

Of course, it should be pointed out that Emerald Green is the color of this year, and while just a few shades away from what the Ducks used that relationship did not coalesce into anything more than a .393 season on the Wiffleball field and missing out on the playoffs. Still, with all the places the article expects to see radiant orchid show well - handbags, women's fashion, cosmetics, upholstery, desserts - it's hard not to jump in on the excitement and add Wiffle to that mix!

Let us know what do you think: a good omen for team of the year, or just a great color for 2014?

Photo Finish

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

We've all told someone, "I play Wiffleball," before, and we've all seen the bewildered, quizzical look on the people's faces to which that statement has been told. Because of that there's even a long-running joke around the Wiffle community that the only thing more embarrassing than admitting you play Wiffleball is to proclaim that you're good at Wiffleball. This is all due, mainly, to the fact that most laymen see Wiffle as child's play: a small step up from your seven-year-old-self tossing up a rock and hitting it with the stick you found laying next to said rock. Fair enough, I enjoy that game quite a bit. However, the reality is those backyard games that most remember playing as kids now have as much in common with Major League Baseball - which we were emulating back then - as they do the brands of Wiffleball being played around the globe today.

Still, that's a very difficult reality to convey to outsiders. Our friends over in the OCWA recently did the Wiffle-world a great service in that regard by creating this side-by-side video comparison of a batter's reaction time when facing a Wiffleball pitcher to that when facing an MLB pitcher. In the Wiffle corner is Ryan Bush, 2012 NWLA Player of the Year and 2012 NWLA Tournament MVP. In the MLB corner is Aroldis Chapman throwing his record breaking 105mph fastball. Spoiler alert: in the boxing metaphor it's a perfectly fitting double KO, but it really lends itself better to the racing terminology... a photo finish!

"If anyone tells you that wiffleball is easy, just show them this video. For anyone who doesn't recognize the guy on the right, that's Aroldis Chapman's record breaking 105-mph pitch." - Justin Tomkins

Playoffs?

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

Every offseason we have made many rule changes and this offseason was no exception. The big one was obviously the talent cap and the smaller one that has kind of been unnoticed is going from five innings to six.

Something else that has changed, which I am very excited about, is the new playoff format. In the first two seasons we had eight playoff teams, which I felt really watered down the regular season. In 2013, instead of leaving it up to a vote, I made a rare commissioner’s decision to put in stone to only have four teams advance to the postseason. Now with 10 teams signed up for the upcoming season, I once again implemented a new playoff format without a vote, and that is to have five teams advance.

A running bit with Corbett and me has been calling the opening game a “play-in” game and technically not calling it a playoff round. I have been guilty of calling it that myself, but I do consider that one game to be a full-fledged playoff round. Before I breakdown why the new playoff format will be the best yet, let’s look at the boring nitty gritty.

As always, the two division winners will be the #1 and #2 seeds and host the best of 3 first round games. The top wildcard team will then be the #3 seed and will play at the #2 seed. The next two wildcard teams will be the #4 and #5 seeds, and this is where it gets fun. This will be my favorite day of the season: the #4 and #5 seeds will then play at the #1 seed’s home field with the #4 seed being the home team in a one game win-or-go-home “opening round” matchup. Then immediately following that, the winner of that game will play the #1 seed in a best of 3 series. Get it? Got it? Good.

Another thing I love is the set playoff dates. The end of summer is a busy time and sometimes it is unavoidable to miss games. Having set days to play will give you many months in advance to set your personal schedule.

If this playoff format looks familiar, it is because I bummed it off Bud Selig. Some people hate the one game Wildcard “round”, but I am a huge fan. I know we are six months away from opening day of WSEM, but with the current rosters as is, I want to break down some things and give you even more proof why the new playoff format is best yet.

Okay, let’s be honest when looking at the current ten teams and make some assumptions. Wicked Aces, El Diablos and Warriors will probably be the top three seeds, and King Friday will probably be punching a ticket to John Hill for the Thrill. I have some doubts about the Warriors because of availability of some of their guys, but for the sake of argument let’s put them in the top three. That leaves six teams in the running for the last two wildcard spots: Holy Balls, Wolfpack, Flying Squirrels, Belgian Wiffles, Islanders and Onanism.

Gun to my head I am making the Holy Balls the #4 seed. They have too much talent and the best power hitter in the game, Dennis Pearson, is now on their team. I would say most unbiased people would have the same four teams as the #1-4 seeds. If we only had a four team playoff, how boring would that be? Sure, we could still have a playoff race, but having that third Wildcard spot really opens up the possibility of making the playoffs for many other teams.

It is really hard right now to predict who the #5 seed will be. I did say on the October podcast that the Wolfpack are my prediction at the current time. I am not 100% confident in that choice, though. The Squirrels, Belgian and Onanism will go as far as their rookies take them. The Islanders have Mundel who is capable of winning any game he starts, so you have to put them in the conversation as well.

It took three seasons to finally have a decent postseason, but I believe 2014 will blow this past postseason out of the water. In addition to that excitement will be the playoff race at the end of the season. Those late July games will have more meaning than ever. My final season being Commissioner has the makings of truly being something special. Don’t let me down.

November Power Rankings

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I love power rankings whether they are during the season or in early November. Releasing the rosters has given me the itch again. Right now I believe there are 3-4 powerhouse teams, but never before have I seen such a cluster in the middle. The 2014 season has the potential to be the most wide open in league history.

10. King Friday Richard Hurd is the only returning member of the 2013 King Friday team that was actually pretty competitive. He is bringing back six guys from his 2012 team and each of them is a one star player. It’s not about winning for this team, they just enjoy playing. I do think there are some bright spot on this team though. Tristan Birotte was decent in 2012 on the mound but I think the star of this team will be Ryan Hurd Jr. He showed some signs two years ago, and will now return bigger, stronger and better. I am glad this team is back, but I don’t see them anywhere else but #10 all season.

9. Oakland County Onanism It is really hard to predict this team. It reminds me of the 2012 Belgian Wiffles, and how clueless I was on how well they would actually be. Kiefer Haffey is very enthusiastic about his team and he did have a very nice rookie season, but I have no idea who anyone else is. Apparently his team is full of baseball players so I expect they will do alright at the plate. But as everyone knows, it will come down to pitching. This team could be full of rookie of the year candidates, or they could be full of duds. Until we see them play, I really can’t put them anywhere but #9.

8. Islanders When you look at the Islanders roster, it really isn’t that bad. This team will compete for a playoff spot but they do have some holes. After Mundel, their pitching really drops off. Linebrink and Murtha can both throw and will likely alternate starts as the #2, but they are both coming off bad seasons. The reason this team can compete is because Will Mundel is capable of winning any game he starts. It may sound crazy, but after Austin and Skinner, I think Mundel is right there as the top pitcher. Besides a #2 pitcher, their biggest question mark is hitting. Andrew Mott and Daniel Egan are both above average at the plate, but they aren’t always reliable. It should be a fun season though for these guys now that they have Mundel from start to finish.

7. Belgian Wiffles I do like how this team was put together, but the truth is I have no clue how well Belgian will perform. A lot is riding on the arms of rookies Stephen Farkas and Travis Strojny. They will be a part of a rotation that also includes Nick Braden. Josh Nagorski signed as well and will provide a very reliable bat. If the rookie arms do prove their worth I truly believe this team can compete for a playoff spot. If not, this could be a long season for a team coming off only four wins.

6. Flying Squirrels I absolutely love the way Sessions put this team together. It has the perfect combination of veteran leadership mixed with two rookies who have huge potential. The Squirrels will be in it until the end. Ryan Bullard and Ryan Alexia will anchor the left side of the field and all they do at the plate is get on base. Hewlett proved his worth at the plate with the black bats and also gives the Squirrels a solid pitching option. The other pitchers will be Adam Cosby and Kevin Doby. Doby had a nice showing in the September tournament and Cosby is rumored to have better availability in 2014. This team will be near .500 all season, and will be right there in the playoff race.

5. Wolfpack Jason Hollister quietly assembled a very athletic team. Nicco Lollio went from being another piece of the puzzle with El Diablos, to the centerpiece of the Wolfpack. No one is questioning this team’s ability to hit, but they will go as far as their pitching takes them. Mark Brannan was the ace of the Belgian Wiffles last year, and was then put in the King Friday rotation after being traded. No pitcher saw more innings than Mark in 2013, so you have to believe he will be the ace of the Wolfpack. The #2 spot in the rotation looks to be Andrew Piasecki. Lollio can also give you innings, but Hollister, Greg Brannan and Dancza are not pitchers. It really scares me to rank them at #5 with all of the question marks, but I had to put someone here.

4. Holy Balls The Holy Balls were the biggest surprise in 2013 and although I feel they got better on paper, will the chemistry be there in 2014? Their 6th roster spot is rumored to be Phillip Morris, who would add pitching depth to a team full of pitchers. Dennis Pearson doesn’t need an introduction. He provides the most feared power bat in the game and will be most likely be the ace. Paquin, Corbett, and Morris (if he signs) will compete for the #2 spot in the rotation. Chris Lewis is saying he will have a bigger role next season, and Dylan Braden gives this team another big bat. These guys lost a lot of talent in free agency, but you have to be impressed with Paquin’s signings this offseason. They reloaded quickly.

3. Westside Warriors The 97 Marlins…I mean the Westside Warriors went all out this offseason in hopes of winning a title. Alex Shore is hungry and could almost taste it last year after Sam Hatt returned from injury. If you could promise me Hatt and Bortmas would show up consistently and start 20 games combined, this team may have got the #1 ranking. Hatt lives in Chicago and no one ever knows where Bortmas lives. Lost in the shuffle is David Castle, who will be called upon a lot this season. Woods and Voustos add speed and solid hitting, but in the end I see the Warriors as a wildcard team.

2. Whiteford Wicked Aces Am I an idiot for ranking an Austin Bischoff team #2? Do I really want to motivate him and make him angry? Eh, oh well. I just don’t know about the Aces in 2014. Bortmas is gone. Crozier’s availability is unknown. Hughes (if he signs) is always a question mark. Their core three are Fisher, Little E, and Austin, who are all top 10 pitchers in the league. I believe that 4th spot in the lineup will be a revolving door. This team will still compete for a title and in no way do I think they will struggle, but I also don’t see them winning 25 games again.

1. El Diablos No disrespect to the two-time champs, but I believe 2014 will be the year of the Fighting Chickens. Losing Lollio doesn’t hurt as much as the Aces losing Bortmas, but it does sting a little. Their 6th roster spot will be a rookie, and even if he isn’t Nicco 2.0, they still have a ridiculous top four guys. Skinner/Chandler may be the most dangerous 1-2 punch in the league. Most of these guys now have two years of WSEM experience under their belts, so I believe their 3rd time (year) will be the charm.

This... is my Boomstick! Comparing Offensive Stats from 2012 to 2013

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Feliz Dia de Los Muertos! Let us talk about things that have come and gone. A lot was made of the bat switch this past season, and a lot of fun was had with the bat switch this past season. But what exactly did the bat switch mean when all was said and done?

The trick to comparing 2012 and 2013 stats from WSEM is that you cannot take the numbers at face value. Since, the two seasons featured a different number of teams playing, and thus a different number of games played, you must first account for that by dividing the "counting" stat categories by the number of teams involved: 8 for 2013, 10 for 2012. After doing that you will see that the number of hits per team saw a modest increase of 15.6% this season. That is just about exactly what we were looking for with the switch. It led to a league-wide batting average of .263, which falls just north of the MLB average of .253. For comparison: the WSEM average in 2012 was .226.

Stat	% change from 2012-2013
H/team	115.6
2B/team	142.0
3B/team	62.5
HR/team	171.4
TB/team	132.5
BB/team	178.0
R/team	196.7
AVG	116.4
SLG	133.5
OBP	128.7

Stat	WSEM '12	WSEM '13	MLB '13
AVG	.226	.263	.253
SLG	.360	.481	.396
OBP	.355	.457	.318
R/G	2.43	4.78	4.17
PA/R	8.61	4.92	9.13

The power numbers are where things really took off. The .037 (16.4%) increase in league batting average led to more than triple that for slugging percentage, with a league-wide jump of .121 in that stat: an increase of 33.5%. Bolstering that inflation were the number of doubles per team increasing by 42%, while the number of home runs per team saw a staggering 71.4% increase. Obviously, the bigger barreled bats account for part of the boom, but can we really find them solely responsible for the power surge? After all: "band boxes" and "tail winds" were things evidently. The fact that triples per team decreased by 37.5% this past season seems to back up the shared role that smaller fields other factors also played in the slugging increase. Now for a related, but irrelevant, fun fact: there were only 7 triples hit in the 2013 season, and each came from a different player.

One more place the bat switch was hugely successful, and my favorite stat boom to see from 2012 to 2013, is how runs per team nearly doubled this season! That 96.7% increase moved home plate from the desert littered with 15+ inning 1-0 affairs to much more fertile tracks of land. Another way to look at the run production boost is how many plate appearances came between there were per run scored. In 2012 this number was 8.61, and it dropped sharply to just 57.1% of that in 2013: 4.92. Bringing a run around to score every fifth batter instead of every eighth or ninth certainly makes for much more exciting action for the 75% of the league who are not pitchers. Plus, when you look at the minimum number of plate appearances in a game (15 for WSEM, 27 for MLB), having our PA/R be a little over half the MLB makes it much more analogous.

One thing here that does not make the game more exciting, unless you are the Mayor or Billy Beane, is the big 78% jump in walks per team. Much like the HR/team numbers and overall slugging percentage, though, the big change in this one stat only corresponds to a league-wide on-base percentage increase of 28.7%, slightly less than double the increase in league batting average. In the spirit of full disclosure, I find myself quite responsible for the large increase in walks: in 2013 I had 46 walks, which perfectly matched my number of career walks from the previous two seasons combined.

The inflated walk total seems to be something that is already remedying itself. Pushing the mound back three feet was something we knew would make pitchers adjust, and those adjustments seemed to be made as the season went on: i.e. pitchers found the zone with more practice from 48'. Figuring I needed some facts to back that statement up for this article, I ran the numbers for five random pitchers. I took their walk totals over their first five games in 2013, then compared that to the rest of their season. All but one of those five pitchers saw a decrease in walks per inning as the season went on. These four all saw double-digit percentage decreases in their walks: 13%, 17%, 25%, and a Jim Price "wow!" worthy 67%. In addition, two of them were giving up less than one walk per inning over the second half of their season. The takeaway here? Pitchers are only continuing to get better from 48', and walks will settle down.

That is essentially what we expect heading forward: the offense had an up year last year with the changes, now - with no sweeping rule changes - pitching will start to counter. Managing the quality of competition in a Wiffleball league is a balancing act. Pitching will always be the centerpiece of Wiffleball; pitching prowess is the reason the ball exists, after all. But with the majority of players in the league never toeing the rubber, it is nice to see the pitchers take a slap across the face once in awhile.

Bingo Bango

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

Jason Hollister joined the Belgian Wiffles in the 2013 season and quickly made a lot of noise. The outspoken rookie was a part of the opening night games in Detroit where he went 5 for 8 which earned him a Munson. He later was traded to King Friday and helped the team stay in the playoff hunt until the last week. After it was all said and done, Jason had a very nice season and established himself as a very fine role player. What the league doesn’t know is Jason’s interesting past. A past so dark and strange, it is hard for me to write about.

Jason grew up in Gibraltar, MI, graduated from Carlson High School, and was semi-popular. The jocks liked him and the nerds didn’t hate him, so he was accepted in every social clique. After graduating in 2010, he was bored with his mundane life, so he decided it was time for
Jason Hollister, captain of the Wolfpack, during his days as Bangoa change. He didn’t know what he wanted to change, he just knew it needed to be something dangerous or exciting, or even twisted.

One boring afternoon, it finally hit him. Jason wanted to become a prostitute. At the time, male prostitution was a pretty popular profession thanks to the down economy, and that worried Jason. After more research, he found out that there were no clown prostitutes in the Metro Detroit area, so he would have no competition.

No one grows up in hopes of being an underground clown prostitute, but Jason didn’t care. For the first time in his life, he was doing something exciting. After he was done with his college classes or his job at the local Meijer, Jason would lock himself in his bathroom, apply his makeup, put on his goofy clothes and clown shoes, and would hit the town.

The first few months were very discouraging for Jason but he never gave up. Two out of every five people are afraid of clowns, so Jason only had 60% of people to work with. He sometimes wondered if he should leave prostitution and instead focus on children parties or even join the circus, but he stuck it out. He later gave himself a name, “Bango the Clown”, but that didn’t help much either.

It was the spring of 2012, and Jason finally caught a break. After roaming the streets of Melvindale one night, a Bachelorette Party Bus saw Bango and picked him up. These girls were drunk, but they knew the ‘bride to be’ had a twisted fascination with clowns, a twisted sexual fascination actually. Bango let the girls know his fee, and they paid up so their friend could have Bango for the rest of the night. Bango and the ‘bride to be’ did weird sexual clown stuff all night, and in the morning he went on his way.

Jason was on top of the world, but something happened that night. He developed feelings for this mystery girl. He was very discouraged and knew the #1 rule of prostitution was to never fall for one of your clients, and he fell for his first and only client. Jason was upset and burned his clown attire and threw away his makeup. Never again would he become Bango, never again would he sell his body. He was done.

The rest of 2012 was uneventful for Jason, and it wasn’t until his co-worker Jason Matt invited him to play wiffleball, where he was truly happy again. The rest of the league may look at Jason and see a quick witted role player who occasionally has a big game, but now you can look at him and see something else. You can now look at Jason Hollister and see a retired underground clown prostitute.

6-Pack Fun, Vol.6: Rivalries

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

Back in 2011, rivalries in WSEM were prevalent, but in the past two seasons they have died down. It appears that some are being reborn and created for this coming season, but let's look back at my favorite historic rivalries.

6.  Wicked Aces  &  El Diablos (2013) This was a quiet rivalry, but in a season where these two teams stood out above the others, it was still a rivalry on the field, nonetheless.

5.  Wicked Aces  &  Punchouts (2012) The Aces rarely lose, but the Punchouts had their number: going 3-1 vs. them in the 2012 regular season. If we had a list of biggest disappointments however, their non-played championship series would be #1.

4.  Flying Squirrels  &  DeLoppes (2011) When these two teams met in 2011, there seemed to always be something special about the games. Including what has to be the most dramatic best-of-five playoff series to date.

3.  Belgian Wiffles  &  Mattseals (2012) These teams just straight up did not like each other. Everything is fine now between the players, but in 2012 you couldn’t say that.

2.  Belgian  &  Squirrels (2011/12) Twice these teams met in the #4 vs. #5 playoff matchup and each team won one once. The last day of the season trade of Corbett for Skinner only made this rivalry better.

1.  Westside  &  Git r' Done (2011) No one can be surprised that this rivalry gets the top spot. Their facebook battles used to reach 200-300 comments in a matter of a couple hours and on the field it was always intense. Unfortunately for the Warriors though, Git r’ Done always seemed to have the last laugh after the games were played.

6-Pack Fun, Vol. 5: Games

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

This is the toughest list for me, but I will try and rank the six most memorable games in WSEM history. Obviously, most of these games I have either played in or watched, so I apologize if I missed any good ones.

6.   8/10/2013   All-Star Game
What started as a boring pitcher’s duel, turned into a very exciting game. Ryan Alexia’s peg of Evan Bortmas as he was a 1/2 step away from winning for Ringler ended up being the boost the Garcia team needed, as they were able to win the 8 inning affair 3-0.

5.   4/29/2011   Mattseals @ Commandos
The first game in WSEM history is one to remember. Joe Seto belted four home runs (including the first in WSEM history) and had 10 RBIs, as the Commandos easily won 13-3.

4.   7/29/2012   Belgian @ Mattseals
This 23 inning marathon set records that will probably never be broken. Tomlinson had ten hits, Chandler had 53 strike outs, and everyone watching fell asleep.

3.   5/5/2012   Donkeys @ Wicked Aces
This is the only game on the list that I wasn’t at, but the legend of Joe Seto once again made this game standout. His solo HR off of Austin Bischoff broke all of the laws of physics, but we also can’t forget about Shore’s shutout performance on the mound en route to a Donkeys 1-0 upset.

2.   7/30/2011   Game 4:   DeLoppes @ Squirrels
This is my favorite game that I played in, so it gets the #2 spot. The Squirrels down 2-1 in the best of 5 semifinals series had to win to keep their season alive. Austin Bischoff went toe to toe with Cliff Comstock, and the Squirrels won 1-0 in 12 innings.

1.   8/4/2013   Game 1:   Westside @ Wicked Aces
Everyone knew Sam Hatt vs. Austin Bischoff would be something special to watch, but no one predicted the game would end the way it did. Down 1-0 with two outs and a runner on, Joel Crozier hit a walkoff 2-run homer to win the game for the Aces.

6-Pack Fun, Vol. 4: Logos

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

We are very fortunate to have the man in charge of the Wiffle Logos site in our league, therefore crappy logos are rare.

6.	2012 Manchester Punchouts
I wonder how many people never noticed the fist in this logo is actually an ‘MP.’ That’s very clever.

5.	2012-13 Whiteford Wicked Aces
This logo won the NWLA logo of the year so it could be a crime if I didn’t include it.

4.	2011-13 Belgian Wiffles
This classic beauty will always be one of my favorites. It’s so simple yet so wonderful.

3.	2013 Ducks
I believe this one is Corbs’ favorite and it’s up there for me as well.

2.	2012 Jason Mattseals
You just look at this logo and smile.

1.	2012 Campus Commandos
The 2011 Commandos logo may be the worst ever in our league, but the 2012 one is my favorite. What isn’t awesome about a toy soldier shooting wiffleballs out of a wiffle bat?!?!

BIG NAMES

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

The 2012-2013 offseason saw a surprising amount of movement in free agency. That was awesome! Some of the moves were groundbreaking. Others just settling. Now, with the introduction the talent cap for 2014, as well as two new franchises, we are expecting an even more active offseason. Listed below are six of the players who I think are the BIGGEST NAMES in 2013-14 free agency, and the reasons why I think they fit there. Obviously, there may be more than these names floating around, and I hope to be blindsided by a few big moves, too! But, let this be an appetizer for the main course coming up on October 1st. Let's look at some of the early BIG NAMES!

	22 HR	★	DENNIS PEARSON Pearson ran away with the Country Strong HR King title in 2013. The closest player to him was 9 behind and nearly doubled up on. 22 of Dennis' 38 hits on the season were home runs. That's 58%! Putting more numbers to that, it was once every 4.7 at bats that Pearson hit a home run! Spurred by his home run totals, Dennis also led the league in RBI (45) and slugging (1.038). The latter of which was over .100 better than his closest competitor! Also, his 38 hits see him tied for fourth, while at 36 runs scored he came in sixth. Pearson is gold standard of offensive production, and a quintessential 5-star played based on that alone. The fact he can rack up 130 K on the mound in a season, which is tied for second, is just the cherry on top. Teams linked to:  El Diablos were hard after Dennis, but affording him would prove tricky. Holy Balls and Pearson were reportedly in talks a couple weeks back, although those appear to have stalled. Squirrels brass has mentioned Pearson's name, though it is unknown if any talks have occurred.
	1.038 SLG	★
	45 RBI	★
	38 H	★
	130 K PITCHING	★

	.426 AVG	★	DAVID CASTLE The big noise Castle made in 2013 was with his 22 stolen bases en route to the first-ever Great Lakes Stealer handy. Really, though, that sideshow just distracts from the incredible season he had offensively. His 13 home runs were second in the league, as were his 47 runs scored. His .861 slugging percentage was third best in the league. His .426 average was good enough for fourth, while David led the league with 49 hits, including 9 doubles and a triple. Castle's impact after signing with Holy Balls in 2013 was huge. His production led a team projected to finish near .500 to 8 games over that at the end of the season, easily in possession of the third seed. In addition to his stout offensive numbers, David also provides teams with a solid option as a number two or three pitcher. Likely landing spots: Castle was excited to test the market, so it may be a long list of suitors. He will most likely remain downriver, though. So, with El Diablos unable to bring in high star talent, a return to a former team - Belgian or Balls - could be in the cards. Although, do not rule out David possibly forming part of a solid core with Hollister's new team, either.
	.821 SLG	★
	47 R	★
	22 SB	★
	13 HR	★

	.796 SLG	★	Evan Bortmas Perennial All-Star. 2012 MVP, and in the discussion again in 2013. If he had thrown more innings with the Aces in 2013, Evan would also have been in the running for Clown Shu both years, as well. Bortmas may be the most well-rounded player in WSEM: hitting for average, hitting for power, pitching, speed, and defense are all strengths of his. In 2013, Bortmas finished sixth, fourth, fifth, and third respectively in batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, and RBI. His career numbers are a .397 AVG, .545 OBP, and .835 SLG. Teams linked to: The Aces could hold onto him and pay a luxury tax, but inquiries made to the front office make it seem like they will not head in that direction. More rumors about where Evan may be residing have spurred lots of talks. Hearing he may live in Detroit has the Islanders pursuing the opportunity to sign him and form a dynamite 1-2 combination in their rotation. Reports indicate the Warriors have similarly been trying to work out an arrangement to reunite the elite tandem of Bortmas and Hatt.
	.591 OBP	★
	10 HR	★
	45 R	★
	39 RBI	★

	.686 SLG	★	Dakota LaDouceur An unconfirmed, but likely, cap casualty of El Diablos, Dakota is a great pickup for any team. He has hit over .325 in both of his seasons in the league, slugged over .685, and gotten on base better than fifty percent of the time. He was a co-Country Strong HR King in 2012, and his accomplishments seem to only ever be overshadowed by teammates. Think Prince Fielder to Miguel Cabrera. He is still a beast. In 2013, LaDouceur was eighth in slugging percentage (.686), sixth in on-base percentage (.557), and tied for eighth in home runs (9). Teams linked to: Belgian are reportedly offering Dakota free breakfast at IHOP for the duration of the season. The Squirrels also seem to be angling to lure LaDouceur in, although no terms have yet leaked out from Sessions' camp. It is assumed their incentives are not be breakfast-based, however. The Islanders are also rumored to be poking around, citing that Dakota would make a great pirate.
	.557 OBP	★
	40 R	★
	38 RBI	★

			Josh Nagorski Josh was underutilized in 2013. Still, he managed a top seven finish in batting average. He also had an extra base hit once every thirteen at bats, including a home run hit in every twenty six. When able to play a full season, Nagorski has proven to provide competitive numbers at the plate. Nagorski also has the humor to keep a bench loose in tense situations, which is an invaluable trait. On his career Josh has a batting average of .348, an on-base percentage of .412, and a slugging percentage of .483. Simply stated: get him to the field and he will come through. Teams interested: At three stars Nagorski is a good pick-up for most teams. He will likely be another downriver leaning player, though. Not much talk has come up with his name yet, but if Belgian continues to play in his backyard, that could be a potential fit. Hollister's expansion team is again a potential fit, as could be a team like Holy Balls looking for an offensive spark.
	.404 AVG	★
	.456 OBP	★
	.556 SLG	★

			Ryan Alexia Hear me out. Alexia is Billy Beane's wet dream. He was tied for third in walks for the 2013 season with 46, and was sixth in on-base percentage (.567). He was also second in steals, with 14. Alexia may not hit for power or drive in a ton of runs, but to restate what was said two sentences ago: he gets on base. If you put Ryan in front of quality hitters in a lineup, his presence will create many runs scored. Additionally, he is a very solid defensive shortstop. Teams linked to: The Squirrels have made a strong push for signing Alexia. Sessions is a big fan of sabermetrics, after all, so it makes perfect sense. The Balls could also be a good fit with Bullard and Alexia being close friends, as well as it also being rumored the Balls made a play for Alexia before the 2013 season began. We should not rule out the possibility of Alexia returning to Belgian, either, heading over to the team's facebook page still shows the team featuring Ryan as the face of the franchise.
	.567 OBP	★
	46 BB	★
	14 SB	★

6-Pack Fun, Vol. 3: Characters

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

We’ve had our fair share of good and bad players, but what about the guys who just always seem to standout as unique characters? Well, they deserve some attention for once!

6.	Craig Skinner	(2012)     (2012)     (2013-pres.)
Craig’s skill set could easily make him a giant douche, but instead he always has fun on the field. His little shimmy and hoot after striking out a batter always makes me laugh.

5.	Brandon Mushinski	(2012)
It was really sad when I found out Brandon wasn’t returning in 2013. It is a safe bet his #703 will never be worn again in this league.

4.	Cliff Comstock	(2011-12)
My favorite DeLoppe to play against was easily Cliff Comstock. His check swings, cigarette in mouth whether batting or pitching, and fun attitude on the field still stand out to me.

3.	Adam Grant	(2011-12)
Adam always seemed to be a big topic of conversation in 2011-12 with his lean-over-the-plate-never-swing batting approach, loud mouth, and controversy. He brought Wiffleball to Detroit though, so he always has a soft spot in my heart.

2.	Nick Coffee	(2011-12)      (2013)
Whenever Nick played, I played, so I got to see and hear a lot of him on the field. Most player’s drink of choice is water or Gatorade, but Nick’s was Bacardi Razz.

1.	Jason Matt	(2011-12)      (2013)
It is never boring when Jason Matt is at a game. He goes 100% in every at-bat, pitch, run to 1st, or catch attempt in the field. His signature mouth wide open look while playing is a beautiful thing.