Simulated Season #1: The One Without Divisions or Playoffs

   

Last November Carl gave us an all-time mock tournament, which featured every team that has and will ever play in WSEM. The 2011 Commandos, ranked 22nd of 27 teams, went on a mad run and lost to the 2012 Punchouts in the championship game. With preseason hype in MLB at full-steam, NFL mock drafts coming out more than a streaker's utensil, and the recent loss of the awesome Virtual Wings, I thought it a good time to adopt Carl's system and apply it to our upcoming season. Here is a quick refresher on how it works: I took the eight teams and ranked them 1 to 8; #8 gets 1 point and #1 gets 8 points. I modified Carl's method slightly and multiplied by 10 to get more numbers to better indicate "close games" along the way. Throw the numbers into a random number generator to decide wins, and voila! To simulate the four-game season series each team was given the first block of numbers for two road games and the highest block of numbers for two home games.

Simulated Standings
	W	L
Ducks ^	20	8
Wicked Aces	20	8
El Diablos	18	10
Westside Warriors	15	13
Holy Balls	14	14
King Friday	13	15
Belle Islanders	7	21
Belgian Wiffles	5	23
^ Clinch home field with h2h tiebreaker.

The returning champion Wicked Aces are the preseason number one (getting 80 numbers) with the retooled Garcia champion Ducks at number two (70 numbers). El Diablos are currently seen as the number three team (60 numbers), and the Westside Warriors follow at number four (50 numbers). Holy Balls at number five (40), King Friday with their recent signings at number six (30), Belgian Wiffles at number seven (20), and Belle Islanders at number eight (10) round out this very early preseason ranking.

You can see the results of this first simulated 2013 season in the table, and I will provide some insight on how this outcome came about and a few key games along the way. Obviously, all we know of the divisions until Saturday is that the Ducks are in Garcia. They win that pennant for the second straight season, and also get home field in the playoffs by going 3-1 against the Wicked Aces to get the tiebreaker. The Ducks also sweep two teams, Friday and Belgian, while going 3-1 against two others. The only teams they do not have a winning record against are the Islanders (2-2) and Warriors (1-3) - who they would face in round one.

The Wicked Aces 20-8 season mirrors the Ducks (duh!): two sweeps, three 3-1, a 2-2, and 1-3 series. All that keeps them out of the top spot is their 1-3 series coming to the Ducks. The Westside Warriors are the 2-2 series for the Aces; not only do those two Warriors wins decide the top seed, but they are clutch wins in the last games of the season that get the Warriors into the playoffs. The Warriors struggles came against El Diablos and Holy Balls: going 0-8 against them. However, they have winning records against everyone other than those two and the Aces.


Simulated Season #1 Top Seed El Diablos earn the three seed by beating the teams they were supposed to and dominating their closest competition, Warriors, with a sweep: none of those games were close, either. The bad news for El Diablos, though, is they have a 2-6 record against the Ducks and Aces. They were able to get a win at Poolside Park, though; so an upset in round one over the Wicked Aces would not be out of the question, no matter the format. Given the shot to pull that off, you know they would root for the Warriors over the Ducks on the other side.

Mentioned above, the Aces are not the only team burnt by the Warriors' two-game sweep on the final day of the season. The Holy Balls swept Westside on the season, but are jumped over by the Warriors and left out of the playoffs. What did the Balls in was being the only team to drop two games to Belgian, and dropping three games to King Friday. They also went 2-2 against El Diablos, meaning - unlike El Diablos - they did everything they were not supposed to: lose to teams below them, and beat teams that finished above.

Rounding out the seasons of the For the Thrill participants: King Friday dominated the Balls, Islanders, and Belgian getting ten of their thirteen wins against them, and were in the playoff hunt until the final week. The Belle Islanders got wins against six teams - all but the Aces. The problem is they were only able to beat one team twice: the Ducks. I suppose that alone is something to hang their hats on. The Belgian Wiffles on the other hand struggled across the board, being swept in five season series. They do have a winning record (5-3) against the Islanders and Balls, though.


It is surprising/vindicating/eerie [choose your adjective] how closely many of these W-L totals match up with early predictions being made around the league, give or take a game or two. In fact, just a few days ago someone was talking about how he expects the Warriors and Balls to tangle for that final playoff spot. Not liking the outlook? No worries. We will let the randomness sort one of these out every month or so, as we get a better idea about the teams. Additionally, after we decide playoff series length at the Winter Meeting, future installments will feature simulated playoffs for the complete virtual experience!

Nifty Fifties

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

This offseason Wiffleball100, who runs the NWLA, has been putting out top 50 lists for NWLA teams and players on Twitter. Since 2006, he has always kept track of top teams on the season, and until this past year was also responsible for ranking the websites. With these latest lists, though, he is ranking based on all-time careers. So far, he has done the top 50 NWLA teams of all time and just yesterday finished running down the top 50 NWLA pitchers of all-time. It is a remarkably monumental task Hundy takes on developing each list, and these are definitely something we all can get excited about - even if you only know the names in this league. One thing to keep in mind is that longevity plays a large role in the rankings. Makes sense; a longer career leaves a larger imprint behind. Who do think made the cut from WSEM, and where do you think they fell? Read on to find out, and follow the NWLA on Twitter to be kept in the loop for new lists when they come out.

 TOP 50 NWLA ALL-TIME TEAMS 

Longevity, both in terms of being a young league and having frequent team name changes, hurt us in this list. Only one team broke into the top 50. They never won a championship and only played one year, but they put up a 26 win season and did not lose over the last 10 weeks. They went 5-1 in games played during the playoffs before forfeiting the Championship Series. Had those last five words not had to be said, the Manchester Punchouts likely would have come in much higher than #47. They finished their only season in WSEM as the number four team in the NWLA.

Team

W

L

PCT

RS

RA

DIFF

GB

DIV

iDIV

STRK

L5

Punchouts 4

26

2

.929

171

11

+160

--

15-1

11-1

W25

5-0

 TOP 50 NWLA ALL-TIME PITCHERS 

It is no shock that we fare much better on this list. Pitching ran the show in 2012; nine pitchers had an ERA below 1.00, and 13 had a WHIP below 1.50. On top of that, there were SEVEN perfect games thrown! 2011 was more forgiving for the offense by comparison, but soaring strike out numbers stole the show in the pre-rotation era. Impressively for a young league, WSEM snagged 4 spots of the top 50.

Counting down, our first hit comes at #46, Evan Bortmas. He has only played one season in the NWLA with us, but was one of the most veteran players in the league immediately upon his arrival. Evan had been doing it for years in the Manchester Wiffleball Association, and had developed filthy stuff over that time. The break on his curve/slurve could only be matched by his Punchout teammate. He also featured a nice riser, and a demented screwball that baffled opponents even at the NWLA Tournament. Most worthy of accolades, though: he taught any pitcher willing to learn the grip he used to throw his pitches. Stand up guy, who sat down batters. Evan adds another dominant arm to an already stocked Wicked Aces rotation in 2013.

	G	IP	R	H	BB	K	W	L	S	ERA	WHIP
2012:	12	50	7	13	34	136	10	1	0	0.70	0.94

WSEM's second pitcher on the list is another Punchout, Sam Hatt, at #38. Coming into his first season, most saw him as Manchester's number two behind Bortmas. Sam's swooping riser dazzled everyone at the first satellite tournament, but his fastball and breaking pitches did not leave as impressive a mark. The, the season happened. Hatt's drop-ball and cutter outshined the previous amazement of his riser. He was neck-and-neck in the Clown Shu race and proved to be WSEM's ace at the NWLA Tournament. For the 2013 season, Sam has tossed his hat into the ring with the Westside Warriors, and is penciled in as their ace to start the year.

	G	IP	R	H	BB	K	W	L	S	ERA	WHIP
2012:	11	55	3	13	39	138	10	1	0	0.27	0.95

At #35, Mike Constanti is a guy who benefits from having two years under his belt. Don't get me wrong, he is very deserving of a spot on the list. But if offered the choice of pitcher to take an at-bat off of, nine out of ten WSEM hitters would choose Mike over the two guys behind him. That said, Constanti is absolutely an ace through and through. He features a fantastic cut fastball and is dominant with it, paired along with his off-speed and breaking stuff. He is one of only two pitchers to defeat the potent Punchouts offense in the 2012 season, afterall. In 2013, Mike will join the next name on this list in a Ducks rotation that aiming to repeat as Garcia Division champs.

	G	IP	R	H	BB	K	W	L	S	ERA	WHIP
2012:	9	45	5	37	21	79	7	2	0	0.56	1.29
2011:	13	61.2	19	49	42	121	9	3	0	1.54	1.48

Dennis Pearson, 2011 NWLA Strike-out King, is our highest ranked pitcher on this list, coming in at #19. Twenty wins and 363 strike outs over two seasons is an impressive body of work, and the NWLA is paying attention. Dennis puts up those numbers by being the hardest thrower in WSEM, able to climb over 80 mph. His bread-and-butter pitchers are a pair traveling that fast: one breaks away from right handed hitters, while the other cuts back in. During the 2012 season he also brought an off-speed riser into his repertoire to keep hitters off balance. You can bet 2013 for Pearson will be all about taking the Ducks back to the WSEM Championship and reclaiming the Clown Shu.

	G	IP	R	H	BB	K	W	L	S	ERA	WHIP
2012:	11	49	11	16	61	128	6	3	1	1.12	1.57
2011:	19	80.2	21	18	97	233	14	4	1	1.30	1.43

This, of course, will leave a question hanging on the lips of most WSEM players: "No Austin Bischoff?" Austin was our 2012 Clown Shu with a 0.49 ERA, 0.68 WHIP, and 141 K. Over 4 games pitched late in the 2011 season Austin also had a 0.00 ERA, 0.75 WHIP, and 56K. Wiffleball100 explained Bischoff's omission on a post at the NWLA boards:

Austin Bischoff- WSEM gets a bit shorted like several other leagues for limited playing seasons. - Wiffleball100

It may seem puzzling, then, that Bortmas and Hatt make it, but not Bischoff - with an additional half-season played to his name. However, all other WSEM pitchers on this list have a season on their resumes in which they pitched in 11+ games. Since, the Aces threw a three (and sometimes four) man rotation, Austin only pitched 9 games this season. That lends the appearance of him being a less active player, especially when looked at alongside a 4 game season, and that seems to be the reason he was not held in as high of regard as Pearson, Constanti, Bortmas or Hatt. Even if you think Austin was "snubbed", you cannot give anything but respect and kudos to Wiffleball100 for the effort he puts into this: looking over thousands of players and tens of thousands of stats to give us something to talk about during the dead of winter.

Diamond Ditch-It

		A Cup of Nick Coffee
		by Nick Coffee

Diamond Digit? More like plastic pinky. Did not winning this award really matter in my life? Hell yeah! My whole life I try to be the best I can be, even when it comes to grown men playing a silly game like Wiffleball. When I apply myself with a task or a goal, I complete and accomplish it the best I know how. I am not cocky and I am not the best at everything I do. I am totally content with being average at some things, but when there's something that I know I can win, I know I deserve, I'm not going down easy.

When growing up with an older brother and hanging out with older kids on my street I always strived to compete with them. Even though they were only a year or two older than me, they put me on their level of athletics. I could hold my own with these guys! In 2nd grade, I played Little League with 3rd and 4th graders. Doesn't seem fair looking back at it now; I think 2nd graders are in coach pitch nowadays. As they grew, I grew to their level and in some cases surpassed their ability. I talked about this on my last story, but Carl and I would make up games and play them for years and years. We would master techniques and our ability to do the stupidest things. We both wanted to win, we both wanted to be the best.

I'm not the smartest guy in the world. I'm not the most athletic. I am extremely good looking, but not the most handsome. I'm average in just about everything I do. However, there are a few things where I can say I'm above average. I believe I'm a pretty good problem solver, I'm good with numbers, I can juggle, I think I have a pretty good singing voice, I can throw a pigskin a quarter mile, and I am an above average outfielder in Wiffleball.

When it comes to Wiffleball, baseball, or any sport for that matter, most people like offense. Hitting the most homeruns, scoring the most points, passing the most touchdowns, and just flat-out beating your opponent. These are things that are important to athletes and fans. How can a 2-1 score be that exciting? I'll tell you how; a diving catch to save the tying run in the bottom of the ninth. Defense wins championships. I'm not the best batter at Wiffleball. In fact, I'm pretty terrible. But I would take standing out in left field over being up to the plate with a chance to drive in the winning run. I know most people would rather be a DH; I would choose to be a DF, designated fielder.

This isn't a story to bitch about me not winning a Diamond Digit and it's not to say I deserved it over any other player who received one. It's simply to announce that not winning one affected me. I love the left field position. I love diving over fences and the side of a pool to rob homeruns. I love throwing out batters from deep in the field. Next season I am going to be in every play I can sacrifice my body with. Next season I will dive to catch out-of-reach balls, slide to stop a passing ball and save a double, and throw out batters trying to run home. Next season there will be no question for who the best left fielder in the league is. Next season, I will win that award.

Team Tuesdays: Ducks

by  Will Smith  &  Brandon Corbett   In 2011, the Ducks (then Git r' Done) were out to show us old folks that "Parents Just Don't Understand." Some say they had a sophomore slump in 2012 as the Thunder Ducks, but they were just having fun playing the game this time around: "chillin' out, maxin, relaxin' all cool. And all (playing) some ...ball outside of the where there used to be a school." Now in 2013, the Ducks are poised to "(Get) Jiggy Wit' It" as they ascend to Ali-esque greatness and blockbuster status. While there may be some truth in 2012 being a down year for the franchise, they were successful in winning their second consecutive pennant: this time with the best record in the Garcia Division. The Ducks also held their own against their rival, and eventual 2012 Champions, the Wicked Aces: splitting the regular season series 2-2. However, in the semi-finals they were swept 3-0 and outscored 8-1 by the Aces in an absolute route. While unconfirmed, that dismantling by the Aces pitching staff seems to have set the Ducks' template for the re-assembly of their 2013 roster. The loss of Chris Lewis and, career Git-r'-Duck, Nick Braden to the upstart Holy Balls in free agency was quickly overcome with the pick ups of Mike Constanti and David Castle. The Switch to Constanti (0.56 ERA, 1.29 WHIP in 2012) is an upgrade at pitcher over Lewis (3.55 ERA, 1.42 WHIP). While Castle and N. Braden are comparable at the plate, .340 and .327 SLG respectively, Castle also adds a third pitcher capable of providing a shut down performance on the mound. That option gives the Ducks the ability to keep a dominant starter in during long games and not worry about having to shut him down for two games. Their rotation is now stocked with more arms than the Wild Wild West. D. Braden, Nagorski, and Pearson The returning Ducks - Dennis Pearson, Dylan Braden, and Josh Nagorski - still bring the thunder. D & D are perennial Bad Boys at the dish. Dylan averages 37 H and 11 HR per season; in 2012, 20 of his 39 hits were for extra bases. Dennis is the only player to have consecutive seasons with double digit home runs: 15 in 2011, 10 in 2012. He also has 91 hits over his two seasons, 40 for extra bases. It is no longer "Just the Two of (Them)", either, as Josh Hitched himself on with an impressive 2012: .333 AVG and .489 SLG with 7 2B and 5 HR. The Ducks' problem will be, as it always has been, defense behind their pitchers. True, they do make some damn nice quick reaction plays from time to time, but I, Robot in the field they are not. Consistency on routine plays, good positioning, and team speed are aspects the Ducks notoriously lack. Perhaps the most fascinating footnote in Ducks history is that they are the only WSEM team to take a first round playoff series to three games twice. You can sign your Hancock to that fact, and also that the 2013 Ducks, with their "Brand New Funk," are aiming to end that trend. "I Think I can Beat Mike Tyson" is the attitude I expect out of the Ducks this season. Will they have a third pennant locked up by Independence Day? Maybe not that soon, but come "Summertime" expect nothing other than the Ducks to have reestablished themselves as the elite of WSEM.

Bold Ass Predictions

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

For those unfamiliar, a bold ass prediction reaches well beyond expectations. It is absolutely not a safe bet; saying it may call into question your credibility and sanity. When it comes true, though, having said it earns you the respect of a savant. Feel free to share any of your bold ass predictions in the comments, and sign your name so we can praise your foresight in August. Here are five of my bold ass predictions for 2013.


Nick Coffee will have double-digit extra base hits.
He had zero in 2012, but his bat began livening up late and in offseason games. Nick's routinely knocking the ball over outfielders heads, and even blasting a couple monster home runs. Only 9 players in 2012 had double-digit extra base hits (6 of them with less than 15), so this is a greater feat than it at first may seem. I think he'll do it the hard way, too, by keeping it in the park for most of them: 7 doubles, 4 home runs. All this attention paid to his offense, though, will once again see Nick snubbed for a Diamond Digit.


The Westside Warriors will win the 2013 Commissioner's Cup.
There are many questions about what their final roster may be, but I'm buying the hype that Alex Shore is selling. With the list of names he's working with you can count on the Warriors running out a talented squad every game day, regardless of whether or not some pieces change from week to week. Also, even if only featured in a limited role, the addition of Sam Hatt sends Westside's stock skyrocketing. He and Shore will be a dangerous 1-2 lefty punch in the lineup, and his guidance can also calm Maclin Malloy's "Wild Thing" tendencies on the mound: making for a lights-out rotation.


Chandler Phillips will lead the league in Ks.
Chandler was fourth in 2012 with 131, just 10 shy of the league lead. He only toed the rubber in 7 games, however, for a total of 52.1 innings. While true that all the 2012 K leaders pitched between 50 and 55 innings, I expect Chandler's innings to increase to around 65 this season as he gets more regular starts. His KPI of 2.5 will see him cutting down 162 batters on the season, running away with the "K crown" as the pitchers ahead of him in 2012 are not likely to see their innings increase


The Wicked Aces will throw 5 perfect games on the season.
Justin Hughes, Evan Bischoff, and Austin Bischoff all threw one in 2012. New signing, Evan Bortmas, threw two. The bats may be bigger and the mound further, but these pitchers will just be better. Evan (Bischoff) will reprise his against King Friday; Bortmas will avenge his only loss from last season by sitting the Squirrels down; Hughes will get one against the Islanders; and Austin will come up with two in huge games: the first against El Diablos, and then a nine inning thriller against the Ducks in the playoffs as the exclamation.


Ryan Alexia will lead the league in stolen bases.
Alexia had a .377 OBP last season, which was over two-times his AVG. His second year in the league will bring an increase in number of hits, and that good eye of his will inflate his OBP into the high .400s. Expect David Buhr to employ steals intelligently as a new facet of the game. We will see Ryan turning singles or walks into doubles and scoring opportunities at will for the Belgian offense: successful in seven out of nine attempts, three of which set up a game-winning run.

Through My Eyes: The Beginning of WSEM

		A Cup of Nick Coffee
		by Nick Coffee

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. It might sound a bit blasphemous to compare Carl and me to God. Also, equate Wiffleball to the heavens and the earth, but that’s how it felt. We created something small that we could do in our spare time. Maybe host a couple tournaments at Brownstown Middle School, perhaps a few trips to other tournaments out of and around the state. We just wanted to play a game that we enjoyed. Practice what we loved. Build what we dreamt.

Growing up with a brother, especially one that you enjoy spending time with, is the best thing for a young boy. We would play countless amounts of games, most of which we made up. Carl was the mastermind inventing the games and together we would come up with rules, regulations, point systems, techniques, and any other way to make the game civil, competitive and all-around fun to play. We spent hours, days, even years playing games from: The Hitting Game, Coff-muda Triangle, Hacky Sack in the Cup Holder, and Marble to the Chapstick. It seems like we should have spent more time coming up with better names, however.

I’m not saying we came up with Wiffleball. If this were my claim, I’d get sued. But we wanted to take this game that we loved to play and bring other people we knew to share our passion. It all started when Carl heard of a Wiffleball tournament in London, Ohio. It was a slow-pitch tournament and I couldn’t have had more fun. We made it to the playoffs and immediately got knocked out. Carl had a vision to bring this to our neck of the woods. I remember the first few times we went to Brownstown Middle School to set up a field. I think the school was under construction, because we found fencing, tubing, poles, and other material we used to create the ever-so infamous “The Rodney.” The green-monster-like left field fence sported a “Danger” sign on it, so we dubbed it “Danger Field.” Get it? Rodney? After that, the track field came up by using hurdles as a home run fence and the black tubing over the chain-link fence, which is still in place to this day.

When it came time to host a tournament, Carl was in his comfort zone. He was always good at organizing those kinds of things. Since this was before social networking websites, we mostly asked people we knew from school and the neighborhood. I remember writing a letter to every newspaper in the metro Detroit area to write an article about what we were doing. All in all, we had about 5-6 teams who threw down 20-something bucks to play. It was a winner-take-all tournament and Carl and I didn’t take a dime of the entry fee. This wasn’t about money to us, obviously, we just wanted to play. And if you’re wondering, two newspaper reporters actually showed up and one wrote a story!

This was the beginning. This was how it all started. This was something that we built from the ground up. Sure, we had some troubles and even went through years of not playing. Some people moved away, others moved in. We had teams who were dominant, teams that sucked, and teams that cheated. We went through different league names, different field locations, different captains, players, field dimensions and THIS YEAR, different bats. But one thing will always be the same; playing Wiffleball brings me back to my childhood. Back to when Carl and I made up our own games and played them for days. Sure, we are getting older. We have careers and some even have kids of our own. I hope our and everyone else's kids will have the imagination, the motivation and the passion to create something like we did. We have to teach them that playing video games and computers are great, but in moderation. We have to teach them to go outside, run, throw, sweat, laugh, build, and always play Wiffleball.