 | A Cup of Nick Coffee | |
| by Nick Coffee |
With a new season just around the corner, the WSEM Winter Meeting took place this past Saturday. Snow painted the ground more beautifully than a Van Gogh, beer flowed like a cheap box of wine, and the chip dip was so hot, it made our teeth sweat. One by one, captains and team representatives piled into the small 2-bedroom apartment eagerly waiting to hear Carl and Corbett announce divisional picks, scheduling, formats and new rules. It was nice to see some of the guys I haven’t seen since the season. There were good times, a lot of laughs, a heated argument, and a spontaneous Wiffleball game that broke out in the tennis courts. All in all, it was a good meeting. 
Carl told me that around 15 guys were coming over for this winter meeting and I tried to reserve the apartment complex’s banquet hall, but obviously that didn’t work out so we had to squeeze everyone in our apartment. However, it really didn’t seem that cramped. I enjoyed making some snacks for everyone and it gave me another opportunity to make an extremely spicy dip that includes Sriacha-infused beef, 6 jalapeno peppers and 12 habaneros. Most people tried it, some enjoyed it, and others couldn’t feel their tongues for the rest of the day. I didn’t mind having everyone over, it gave us a reason to get drunk, have fun and after everyone left, fully clean the apartment.
I had to do something that I swore I never would, I had to tweet. Carl gave me the duty of tweeting things that came up during the meeting, including teams and their divisions. I think King Friday has a tough road ahead of them finding themselves in the stacked Ringler division. Other news that was brought up is that teams will pay $200 this year. That seems like a lot considering it’s only a Wiffleball league and you still have to buy your own jerseys, but after seeing the breakdown it’s really not that outrageous [Ed. note: $25 per person, roughly]. I know that Carl and Corbett had to go out of pocket every year since they’ve started running leagues and tournaments. They are obviously not doing this to make money.
I think the biggest change for next year is the bats. When I think Wiffleball, I think of the traditional yellow bat and classic plastic ball. Taking the yellow bat out of the equation makes hitting extremely competitive and might add many homeruns and more powerful hits. Not to mention with the pitchers backing up a few more feet this year, too. We are also including stealing bases to this year’s season. I didn’t think this would turn into what it did. After a heated debate between 2 captains and the commissioner, we turned to a vote. 4 were for it and 4 were against. It came down to the original ruling of “steals are legal”. There will be only 2 attempts per game and you cannot steal home, which was originally up for debate at the meeting, but was quickly and wisely scratched off the agenda. After that there were a couple tweaks and rules with trades,
temporary players, jersey guidelines, satellite tournaments, and the playoff format.
After adjournment, the remaining 9 guys decided to head out to the tennis courts to play a 5-on-4 game of snow Wiffle. We used the bigger barreled Nerf bat and it was slow-pitch. It was extremely fun and Carl hit a walk-off home run to win the game. However, after watching the video, it was later ruled that the home run only got us to within 2 or 3 runs from the lead and playing should have continued. I think it’s safe to say that we can call that one a draw.
So after all that excitement, am I ready for the season? I’d say so. I’ll have a bottle of booze in one hand and the new Griffey bat in the other. I’m ready to see some new fields and tear it up. I can’t wait to see the competitiveness I saw from the meeting and at that snow game in a setting that actually counts for something. I see drive, motivation, and passion in each player. You wouldn’t have wasted your time traveling to Farmington Hills on a snowy Saturday afternoon if you didn’t love this game. I wouldn’t have wasted my time cooking, cleaning, tweeting and letting all you guys come into our apartment that day. That reminds me, somebody stole the rest of the moonshine. I would have brought it up at the meeting, but there was no way in hell that I was going to bring up stealing again.
Carl told me that around 15 guys were coming over for this winter meeting and I tried to reserve the apartment complex’s banquet hall, but obviously that didn’t work out so we had to squeeze everyone in our apartment. However, it really didn’t seem that cramped. I enjoyed making some snacks for everyone and it gave me another opportunity to make an extremely spicy dip that includes Sriacha-infused beef, 6 jalapeno peppers and 12 habaneros. Most people tried it, some enjoyed it, and others couldn’t feel their tongues for the rest of the day. I didn’t mind having everyone over, it gave us a reason to get drunk, have fun and after everyone left, fully clean the apartment.
I had to do something that I swore I never would, I had to tweet. Carl gave me the duty of tweeting things that came up during the meeting, including teams and their divisions. I think King Friday has a tough road ahead of them finding themselves in the stacked Ringler division. Other news that was brought up is that teams will pay $200 this year. That seems like a lot considering it’s only a Wiffleball league and you still have to buy your own jerseys, but after seeing the breakdown it’s really not that outrageous [Ed. note: $25 per person, roughly]. I know that Carl and Corbett had to go out of pocket every year since they’ve started running leagues and tournaments. They are obviously not doing this to make money.
I think the biggest change for next year is the bats. When I think Wiffleball, I think of the traditional yellow bat and classic plastic ball. Taking the yellow bat out of the equation makes hitting extremely competitive and might add many homeruns and more powerful hits. Not to mention with the pitchers backing up a few more feet this year, too. We are also including stealing bases to this year’s season. I didn’t think this would turn into what it did. After a heated debate between 2 captains and the commissioner, we turned to a vote. 4 were for it and 4 were against. It came down to the original ruling of “steals are legal”. There will be only 2 attempts per game and you cannot steal home, which was originally up for debate at the meeting, but was quickly and wisely scratched off the agenda. After that there were a couple tweaks and rules with trades,
temporary players, jersey guidelines, satellite tournaments, and the playoff format.After adjournment, the remaining 9 guys decided to head out to the tennis courts to play a 5-on-4 game of snow Wiffle. We used the bigger barreled Nerf bat and it was slow-pitch. It was extremely fun and Carl hit a walk-off home run to win the game. However, after watching the video, it was later ruled that the home run only got us to within 2 or 3 runs from the lead and playing should have continued. I think it’s safe to say that we can call that one a draw.
So after all that excitement, am I ready for the season? I’d say so. I’ll have a bottle of booze in one hand and the new Griffey bat in the other. I’m ready to see some new fields and tear it up. I can’t wait to see the competitiveness I saw from the meeting and at that snow game in a setting that actually counts for something. I see drive, motivation, and passion in each player. You wouldn’t have wasted your time traveling to Farmington Hills on a snowy Saturday afternoon if you didn’t love this game. I wouldn’t have wasted my time cooking, cleaning, tweeting and letting all you guys come into our apartment that day. That reminds me, somebody stole the rest of the moonshine. I would have brought it up at the meeting, but there was no way in hell that I was going to bring up stealing again.
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