3 Pros and Cons of Being Austin Bischoff's Brother

		View from the Top
		by Evan Bischoff

Some might think it would be cool to have a good wiffleball player living with you. Usually things are pretty chill, but there are definitely some disadvantages to having a brother/manager/National Wiffleball Pitcher of the Year/Clown Shu winner sleeping (literally) three feet below me (yes, it is true). These are three pros and cons of having Austin Bischoff as a brother.

Pro #1: He’s a Decent Wiffleball Player

In case you didn’t know, he’s pretty good at wiffleball. I could write a short novel of all of his wiffleball awards. Also, the kids at school think that I’m so cool because I have a brother that’s good at wiffleball. Easily the best part about all this is that we are on the same team. Unless your team has Ryan Bush, the Harley twins from TBW, Joe Seto, or the Manchester Punchouts, you probably haven’t beaten him. It’s pretty awesome to have him win almost every game (18 out of 20) he takes the mound. So, if you want a good wiffleball player on your team pretty much forever, they should have been born a long time ago.

Con #1: He’s a Wiffleball God

Yeah, it’s cool and all that he’s on my team. However, I also face him more than any other pitcher in this league. I get to risk my life and step in the batter’s box with him on the mound, knowing that I’m probably going to be sent to the bench over and over again. In my defense, on his bad days, I can occasionally get solid contact on one or two. A whole other story is when I’m on the mound. He pretty has my pitching locked in. Even when I feel like I’m pitching well, I’ve seen him hit back-to-back-to-back-to-back dingers off me on multiple times. That’s a pretty good kick to the pride if I ever felt one. Even though I will occasionally think I’m decent at wiffleball, I’m always reminded I’m not even close to being the best player in the household.

Pro #2: Dedication

You will never meet somebody as dedicated to wiffleball as Austin Bischoff. He’s always practicing and perfecting his pitching technique. When he “struggles” during a bullpen or scrimmage, he will go back and watch his own film to see what he was doing wrong. He’s quite the wiffleball addict. Sometimes he will gently (and occasionally not so gently) remind me to throw a bullpen on certain days. Truthfully, I wouldn’t be half the wiffleball player I am today if it weren’t for him. Just watching him do what he does is helpful.

Con #2: He’s Lost His Mind

Have you ever thrown a bullpen in the snow? Be thankful. When it comes to wiffleball, Austin Bischoff has no limitations. It’s a little alarming how seriously he takes wiffleball, both as a player and even as a manager. He’s told me before some starts that if I walk the first two batters, I’m going to be pulled. If I let up a run, I’m gone. Sometimes he will even expect a perfect game out of me. Maybe this is why the Wicked Aces are a good team. Maybe he’s a little bit off his rocker. Some days it’s just a little scary to think that this kid sleeps in the same room as me.

Pro #3: He Introduced Me to WSEM

Ever since he found Carl’s ad on Craigslist for a “<18 year old wiffleball pitching stud,” my life hasn’t really been the same. My time in WSEM is almost complete because of him. I would have never looked for a bigger/awesomer wiffleball league than the vintage Whiteford Wiffleball Association. I really didn’t even participate that much in the original WWA. Now I find myself playing 20+ games a year on a team consisting mostly of former opponents. On a side note, my backyard is definitely not the same either (it’s much more “dope” now).

Con #3: He is Crazy About How Things Look

I enjoy winning games as much as the next guy. I understand his desire to win the championship every year. However, it’s the appearance-related things that he will go crazy over. For example, having the best field is not a huge deal, right? Wrong. Apparently, he has a burning desire to indisputably have the most awesome field ever created. The league will have to wait until opening day, but if the plans that he has in his mind come true, he may just have that title. Also, I guess it’s a requirement to get new uniforms every year. We have two sets of blue jerseys and yellow jerseys. Yet, the league may see new uniforms again this year.

Can Big Wood Perform on the Big Stage?

by  Alex Shore

 

Bold predictions, smack talk, and a little bit of love were present in the WSEM NWLA Inaugural Tournament podcast. Sure, we got some heat from the other seven leagues, but I must say, it started to get people excited for the NWLA Inaugural Tournament. Now, I had WSEM as the best team, but not only was that a pump up for my team, but I feel if we want to see success, we will have to do much more than actually believe in ourselves. I will present to you want needs to be done by each player in order for WSEM to get their first ever National Championship.

1)  Austin Bischoff Austin needs to do what he is known for, pitch dominantly. And by dominantly, I mean the Austin that only gives up a run approximately 2% of the time he pitches, a jaw dropping statistic. In addition, Austin has to get the bats moving, as he could be one of the games deadliest hitters with his power. Considering he has hit three homers in one game this year, two of which were over 135 feet in distance!! 2) Dennis Pearson Dennis has taken a little bit of a slump this year, he isn’t exactly dominant on the hill, and his batting is down. What needs to happen out of Dennis is a massive 2011-esque pitching performance. I’m talking the Dennis who pitched 47 innings in last year’s championship series and, I kid you not, did not give up a single run. Oh did I mention he struck out 83? Or that was all in one day?? Anyway, he also needs to step up the bat. He is one of the most powerful people I have seen, and can hit the ball a country mile. If Dennis does this, we will be tough to beat. 3) Brandon Corbett Corbett needs to keep on keeping on! By that I mean continue his pace and play. He had a down year in 2011, but right now he is killing the ball and also pitching well. If he can do this, Brandon could be a useful reliever and also a batting threat as well. His 22 RBI’s through 22 games speak volumes. Meaning if Corbett knocks in one run per game in Columbus, and is in addition complemented by the rest of the lineup, this team has prime chances of winning games! 4) Sam Hatt Mr. Perfect! And by that I mean the fact that he has thrown a perfect game this year and also has an ERA of 0.12 and a 7-1 record!! He is a pitching threat and he is on a roll this year! If he brings that to Columbus other teams will have a tough time getting on base, let alone a hit!! Sam’s batting stats of an OBP of .417 and 34 total bases make him an offensive threat, as well. If Hatt can continue to get on base, that will make it tough for other teams to beat us, when he is complimented by the others in this lineup. 5) Evan Bortmas Evan has not only pitched a perfect game but he is without a doubt one of the league’s best hitters. No matter how hard you pitch, Evan can hit you. His .314 batting average, .450 OBP, .721 SLG and 1.170 OPS speak volumes. Evan also has a 0.45 ERA, 0.76 WHIP, 72K’s and a 6-1 record on the hill! If Evan just does what he does, I see him having a lot of success in Columbus! 6) Alex Shore I need to elevate my level of play. As captain of this team, I feel that leading by example will lead these guys to out do me. If I get on base, I feel they will drive me in. 2012 has been a down year for me, but I need to rekindle my 2011 season in which my batting average was .417, my OBP was .516, and my SLG was. 787. My base-running needs to be at its peak considering that is what I do best. Speed and power are a deadly combo, and that has to be present for us to see success in Columbus.

Captain’s Final Note: I know my guys can play with the best of them, I know my guys are tough to beat, and I know for a fact, that we have the best pitching around. It is an honor to have been elected to lead this team as captain. It is an honor to play against some of the best leagues around. It is an even bigger honor to feel that we can walk away champions.

Best of luck to all teams competing. I hope to meet some of you and also have a great time.


Alex Shore ^C
#33 Big Wood - WSEM