The Balls: 1st Inning

[Mike Constanti takes center stage today debuting his column that is sure to get a reaction and generate some buzz around WSEM this offseason. Here is Mike with The Balls.]

INTRO:

What's up to all the Wiffle ball freaks out there? Mike Constanti here to give you all not only something to read about while taking a ..., but a trip to the underbelly of what is known as the WSEM. I'm gonna put out 5 articles over the offseason on what has been pissing me off, who deserves a reality check, and my annual run down of the bottom 5 teams and why they sucked! Kind of like Ken Burns baseball. Get it? 5 innings, 5 articles. If you get through the entire article pissed off, there will be a bonus article which I'll mention in the end. So, without further ado let's get it on!


Inning 1: Why do players believe their shit smells good?
What's that smell? It's everywhere. All teams got one. I sometimes get caught up in it. It's that odor that can make or break your game. It's that player who believes he's the shit. It smells like dandelions. No one can touch them. Oh, lord, "I am the shit" syndrome. To tell you the truth, nothing pisses me off more than when someone grandstands in front of the opposition (to the dismay of teammates), that he is gods gift to wiffleball, and everyone sucks and can eat a big fat one. Even though the player talking shit isn't that good, his team is getting their asses handed to them, or is in complete denial that you are good and he is just having an off day. In my opinion, I always believe you earn your stripes, get the respect you deserve by playing hard and let the stats speak for themselves. People just cannot come in and declare themselves to be the next Joey DeLano. The best players do not have to be outspoken. It takes a team to win in Wiffleball. As much of a beating the Ass Kickers took, I enjoyed playing with Bully, my brother, and Kirk. We didn't show off or talk shit. We know who we are and we didn't brag about it. I feel that the league is full of guys who need a quick reality check. I'm gonna give it to them. Here are my top three Dandelions of the sport that get on my damn nerves sometimes or all the time:

3.) Chris Lewis - It hurts me to put him on this list, because he is such a great guy. A lot of respect for him. The reason for Chris being here is that he has a mouth to go with that so called "intimidating" riser (not !). Great! He pitched in almost every game for Belgian last season. The part that irks me is that he brags about the amount of K'S he recorded and considers himself to be one of the elite pitchers of our game. Here is the reality check: granted I feel he is a top 10 pitcher. More towards number 10, though. He needs a better secondary pitch to make his riser more effective. It is mostly a go to pitch and everyone anticipates it. Three of my four homers came off that pitch. He may be the number-two man in the rotation for the Ducks, but I think he is the third best pitcher behind Pearson and Dylan Braden.

2.) Me - I am writing this article. Enough said.

1.) Alex Shore - This doesn't hurt me at all. In fact, he is the poster child for being full of shit. Nothing proves that to me more than the way his field looks, the smarmy arrogance, and lack of sportsmanship. I consider him the Rick Flair of our sport. He can wow and dazzle you with his speed and play on the field, but then he comes up to you and gives you a low blow from behind. His character shows when his team doesn't even want to play ball for him. That is sad. Talking shit ain't good when your team is getting their butts kicked. Example: Chris Kirk wanting to tear Alex and the Warriors' heads off after a poor sport attitude from him and his team after they got eliminated by the Ass Kickers in the playoffs. The worst part of all this is that Alex is an extremely talented player. He doesn't need a 65' right field wall or the shit talking. Top 5 player in the league. I don't know if it's immaturity or what. Hate to see what little respect he has go away because of his arrogance. I would take him on my team in a heart beat. That sucks. I hope that next season with the Donkeys he can straighten up and make them a huge contender for the title. He is in good hands with Joe Seto, but is it enough?

To end this topic, I feel that people should understand we play a game that we play growing up in the backyards, sandlots, or even the street you live on. There is no need for being full of shit and ruining this wonderful experience we have with the WSEM. It is for fun. Right?


Teams that sucked last season:
The Jason Mattseals

Great things happen to great people. I have a hard time believing that, because what Jason Matt went through last year is bullshit! His team struggled out the gate and it took them nearly two months to get in the win column. A lot of close games. The offense, aside from Jeff Biegas, was putrid to put it nicely. I think two or three guys were in the bottom five in offensive stats. Jason Hewlett got better as the season went on, but the team lacked a number-two starter. It is sad to see a team of good guys come out and make every game, just to get their butts kicked. They did make believers out of some people when they almost knocked out the champs, Git r' Done, in the playoffs. These guys have improved. They need a couple hitters and another pitcher to get there. Until then, it is batting practice for game days when scheduled to play the Mattseals.

That is it for Inning 1. Hope you guys liked this, but I don't expect you to. If you have any anger you would like to vent out, for our bonus section for the next article, fire away at my email, facebook post on my account or the league's, or give me a call and I will come out to drive Brian's truck on your front lawn. Top three complaints will make the article with a response from yours truly. In a couple weeks will be Inning 2: The art of ... Until next time Constanti out!

Get out of my Dreams, Get into my Yard

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Before the season started I wrote about all the fun you can have and the interesting-to-weird things you can do with building your own wiffleball field. Four teams have already built and played on their home fields with a fifth opening this weekend and a sixth still possible. So, of course, this got me thinking about how reality matches up with those crazy dreams. I will start off with looking at two fields that debuted Opening Weekend and have hosted 16 of the 47 WSEM games so far this inaugural season, how they play, and what makes them special.

• Constanti Field - Brownstown, MI

First up, let's take the trip to Brownstown, MI and have a look at the grounds of Constanti Field. Constanti Field is nestled in an open space between backyards of a residential neighborhood built in the 90s, which was originally intended to be a park. This setting gives playing there an enclosed feel, somewhat reminiscent of Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, especially with the all the windows looking down on you from behind the outfield. Even greater, though, is the sense of being a kid again that it brings up: playing ball in backyards, making up the ground rules, the creativity, and the larger than life moments. The Sunday series hosted at Constanti Field take you back to that.

Brushing up against neighboring backyards makes the grounds quite scenic, as well. The trees and landscaping behind left field give batters a lot to aim for and measure home runs by. The white fence in right provides a nice asymmetry. This location does also create some limitations and criticisms of Constanti Field, however. The first is only an occasional, weather dependent issue. After heavy rains the field can turn into a mud pit with right-field even being underwater; making for wild, wet, and wobbly playing conditions. Obviously with the spring we had this was highlighted earlier in the year, and won Constanti Field the nickname "The Swamp."

The second criticism that comes up is that the fences in both right and left field are quite short, and players around the league have not held back in letting it be known that many home runs at Constanti are chip shots. Center field does get respectably deep, however, and has taken away home runs that would have left other yards. So, while Constanti Field does have Pesky Pole short-porch syndrome, the field does a fair job evening out in the vein of Petco Park overall. In my opinion the one thing the dimensions really change about the game is not the long ball, but the positioning of defenders. The short right field wall pretty much puts the right/right-center fielder in straight away center, due to having little room or need, aside from ground balls, to be positioned further right. Obviously, this makes for a tight defense to try to get a ball through in the right-handed pull field; even further balancing out the gifts of the short-porches.

Constanti Field is a nice place to play a series or two. I would not want to play all of my games there, but the enclosed backyard feel and sense of being a kid that you get while playing there is excellent, and that is really what wiffle is about. Definitely a good experience once or twice a season.

• Lafayette Park - Detroit, MI

Next up, we head downtown to Lafayette Park! This is, without a doubt, the most polarizing field in the league. There are huge issues that players have with the quality of field conditions. First up, let's go with a problem that has been fixed. On Opening Weekend Lafayette Park did not have enough fencing to complete its outfield wall, and used branches to complete the span in right field. Ugly: yes. Effective: not really. Disgraceful: yeah, pretty much. Since that time more silt fencing has been procured to render this quibble with Lafayette moot. However, the bigger (read," longer") problem with the grounds still exists.

Quite literally: the grass is long! This really falls on the location: a public park in the city of Detroit. A city with little resources really is not going to keep its open parks cut short, and even when they do mow Lafayette the grass is still longer than most. This feature has given Lafayette Park the nickname "The Jungle." While the problems players around the league have with the long playing surface vary from "eh, kind of annoying" to "this is a huge fucking problem," what the length really does is change the game play drastically! Obviously a slow playing surface, most ground balls that would cross the dead ball line elsewhere stay foul, and balls that would normally make it to the SS or LF stop short and make for tough plays. Sure, you could be mad about it, but really isn't that the point of home field advantage and building different fields? Different gimmicks? Different ways they play? It has burned me more than a couple times and I do not love the long grass, but I do not completely hate it either.



The third feature at Lafayette that causes contention, but I absolutely love, is the tree in left field! Its branches overhang into fair territory and the ground rule is that it is a live ball capable of being caught, plinko-ing back into fair territory or over the fence for a home run: essentially it is treated just like gusts of wind. I love it! It came up in a Westside Warriors vs. Campus Commandos game, and damn did the Warriors have the total opposite reaction of me when the tree knocked a grand slam over the fence. But hey, unique ground rules are awesome! They keep the game sensational and out of the box. Plus they allow for those perfect "wtf!?!?" moments that are as hilarious as they are puzzling. Much love for the tree and other anomalies!

Even the players that protest conditions or ground rules at Lafayette agree on one thing about this field. The location and scenery it provides are absolutely first rate! The field is half a mile east of I-375, and when viewed from down the right field line or behind the right field has Greektown Casino, the Renaissance Center, and the rest of the Detroit Skyline as a backdrop. A lot of teams have been hesitant to make the trip, but after playing down there were thrilled by the experience. Similarly, after seeing pictures from games teams have jumped up to excitedly set up their own games at Lafayette. It is a polarizing setting - not just between people, but sometimes within one person - but Lafayette Park is definitely one of the fields with the most personality, intrigue, and draw in WSEM.



Next time we will trek to our most northern and southern fields, as we take a look at the twice used and coming into its own Westside Reservation and the field that has been improved on each week while being the workhorse for WSEM so far this year, Frenchtown Field. Until then check out this field the Winston Salem Wiffleball League just recently debuted, and somebody get on finding a site like this!