The Balls: 1st Inning

[Mike Constanti takes center stage today debuting his column that is sure to get a reaction and generate some buzz around WSEM this offseason. Here is Mike with The Balls.]

INTRO:

What's up to all the Wiffle ball freaks out there? Mike Constanti here to give you all not only something to read about while taking a ..., but a trip to the underbelly of what is known as the WSEM. I'm gonna put out 5 articles over the offseason on what has been pissing me off, who deserves a reality check, and my annual run down of the bottom 5 teams and why they sucked! Kind of like Ken Burns baseball. Get it? 5 innings, 5 articles. If you get through the entire article pissed off, there will be a bonus article which I'll mention in the end. So, without further ado let's get it on!


Inning 1: Why do players believe their shit smells good?
What's that smell? It's everywhere. All teams got one. I sometimes get caught up in it. It's that odor that can make or break your game. It's that player who believes he's the shit. It smells like dandelions. No one can touch them. Oh, lord, "I am the shit" syndrome. To tell you the truth, nothing pisses me off more than when someone grandstands in front of the opposition (to the dismay of teammates), that he is gods gift to wiffleball, and everyone sucks and can eat a big fat one. Even though the player talking shit isn't that good, his team is getting their asses handed to them, or is in complete denial that you are good and he is just having an off day. In my opinion, I always believe you earn your stripes, get the respect you deserve by playing hard and let the stats speak for themselves. People just cannot come in and declare themselves to be the next Joey DeLano. The best players do not have to be outspoken. It takes a team to win in Wiffleball. As much of a beating the Ass Kickers took, I enjoyed playing with Bully, my brother, and Kirk. We didn't show off or talk shit. We know who we are and we didn't brag about it. I feel that the league is full of guys who need a quick reality check. I'm gonna give it to them. Here are my top three Dandelions of the sport that get on my damn nerves sometimes or all the time:

3.) Chris Lewis - It hurts me to put him on this list, because he is such a great guy. A lot of respect for him. The reason for Chris being here is that he has a mouth to go with that so called "intimidating" riser (not !). Great! He pitched in almost every game for Belgian last season. The part that irks me is that he brags about the amount of K'S he recorded and considers himself to be one of the elite pitchers of our game. Here is the reality check: granted I feel he is a top 10 pitcher. More towards number 10, though. He needs a better secondary pitch to make his riser more effective. It is mostly a go to pitch and everyone anticipates it. Three of my four homers came off that pitch. He may be the number-two man in the rotation for the Ducks, but I think he is the third best pitcher behind Pearson and Dylan Braden.

2.) Me - I am writing this article. Enough said.

1.) Alex Shore - This doesn't hurt me at all. In fact, he is the poster child for being full of shit. Nothing proves that to me more than the way his field looks, the smarmy arrogance, and lack of sportsmanship. I consider him the Rick Flair of our sport. He can wow and dazzle you with his speed and play on the field, but then he comes up to you and gives you a low blow from behind. His character shows when his team doesn't even want to play ball for him. That is sad. Talking shit ain't good when your team is getting their butts kicked. Example: Chris Kirk wanting to tear Alex and the Warriors' heads off after a poor sport attitude from him and his team after they got eliminated by the Ass Kickers in the playoffs. The worst part of all this is that Alex is an extremely talented player. He doesn't need a 65' right field wall or the shit talking. Top 5 player in the league. I don't know if it's immaturity or what. Hate to see what little respect he has go away because of his arrogance. I would take him on my team in a heart beat. That sucks. I hope that next season with the Donkeys he can straighten up and make them a huge contender for the title. He is in good hands with Joe Seto, but is it enough?

To end this topic, I feel that people should understand we play a game that we play growing up in the backyards, sandlots, or even the street you live on. There is no need for being full of shit and ruining this wonderful experience we have with the WSEM. It is for fun. Right?


Teams that sucked last season:
The Jason Mattseals

Great things happen to great people. I have a hard time believing that, because what Jason Matt went through last year is bullshit! His team struggled out the gate and it took them nearly two months to get in the win column. A lot of close games. The offense, aside from Jeff Biegas, was putrid to put it nicely. I think two or three guys were in the bottom five in offensive stats. Jason Hewlett got better as the season went on, but the team lacked a number-two starter. It is sad to see a team of good guys come out and make every game, just to get their butts kicked. They did make believers out of some people when they almost knocked out the champs, Git r' Done, in the playoffs. These guys have improved. They need a couple hitters and another pitcher to get there. Until then, it is batting practice for game days when scheduled to play the Mattseals.

That is it for Inning 1. Hope you guys liked this, but I don't expect you to. If you have any anger you would like to vent out, for our bonus section for the next article, fire away at my email, facebook post on my account or the league's, or give me a call and I will come out to drive Brian's truck on your front lawn. Top three complaints will make the article with a response from yours truly. In a couple weeks will be Inning 2: The art of ... Until next time Constanti out!