In the Cards DOUBLE PACK #7 and #8

David Buhr Belgian Wiffles There are a lot of things you probably do not know about David Buhr. For instance, did you know that he is an editor here on The Skinny? [Ed. note: David did not get his hands on this one, though, since it is about him (or because I just remembered a few hours ago that these are four months overdue :P ). Sorry for the surprise, David!] Did you know he is the coach of a baseball team? That he is a soldier in the U.S. Army National Guard? How about that he plays piano and sings? One thing I am sure you do know about Mr. Buhr, however, is that he absolutely loves playing and being involved with this Wiffleball game. 2011 was rough for David's Belgian Wiffles. That is an understatement. A solid roster was stung by injuries before the season began, and was continually plagued by absence. His team will forever own one of the strangest records on the books: an entire season, 28 games, played without a full roster. I am sure David laughs it off, though; or at least smirks and shrugs about it. He likes bits of trivia like that, after all. Oh yeah, that reminds me: did you know that David is a go-to guy when it comes to baseball trivia? Well, now you do! Back on topic: being a trivial part of Wiffle history is surely something Buhr finds amusement in, the same way that he will be giddy to talk about Belgian Wiffles being the 2011 NWLA "Team Nickname of the Year." So, even in a year with fraught with hardship, the fun in Wiffle always shines through. In a similar spirit, as a player on the field David is all heart and fundamentals. It would have been easy for him to have given up, but Buhr never approached the game with anything less than a "happy to be out here playing ball" attitude. He led the Wiffles in AVG, SLG, and OBP, and had only one less double and home run with twenty-eight less at bats. That said, I am sure he cares less about personal stats than just wanting to see a more steady lineup improve on thirteen wins. Solid and smart defensively, Commissioner Coffee recently commented that David would be an excellent role player in any lineup. I will take it a step further and say that he makes an excellent captain, in that he will not give up on a game, a season, a player, an at bat, or a good experience. One last thing you probably do not know about Mr. Buhr: David will be interviewing players from around WSEM for his new feature on the website, Captain's Corner? Now that you know, get excited for that and prepare yourself for the random onslaught of questions coming your way!				Ryan Bullard Ass Kickers (Picked up by the Flying Squirrels for 2012) I am pretty sure baseball is not even one of Ryan's top five favorite games. Basketball is his number one, and he has the stature to make that perfectly fitting. Poker and beer pong probably take slots two and three, respectively. NFL football is leaps and bounds ahead of the MLB at gathering his interest, and he has certainly swung more tennis racquets in his life than baseball bats. Tacking onto that last statement: I bet he knows stats for Nadal or Federer off the top of his head better than Verlander or Cabrera. Yet Ryan has still been involved in WSEM/Downriver Wiffle since our resurrection in 2009, traveled to two London tournaments, and won a Diamond Digits award in our inaugural season. More than the sport itself what Ryan loves is the thrill of competition. So, whatever the game, he is going to get involved, give it his all, and make it tough for his opponents all day long. You might look at his offensive numbers quickly and underestimate what he brings to the game. Sure, those are not world-beater numbers, but they are not dismally ineffective either; not bad at all for someone who is not a baseball player by trade. Especially not when combined with the defense Ryan provides in the field: a combination of instincts, quick reactions, and range culminating in that aforementioned Diamond Digit award. The ground Bullard covers in the outfield, the catches he makes with his mitts-for-hands, and his ability to rob home runs at the wall can make a .239 batting average seem more like .280 to .300. Most impressively for Ryan in 2011 is that he learned to take walks! Having rarely ever walked in prior tournaments, Bullard took 30 walks this season to post a sexy .465 OBP. Care to apply the "his defense improves his offense by x" equation to that number? Giving you more opportunities to score, while taking more away from the opponent: that is an effective ballplayer. What is really important about the jump in number of walks is that it shows he is learning elements of the game, like patience and an eye at the plate. The natural progression from here should be that he finds a rhythm with his swing, which coupled with the power behind it would make him a very dangerous hitter. Heck, if we allowed one-handed swings, his tennis skills would probably mean we would have another DeLano on our hands already!

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels - 17
Media Director, Fire Chief

Your Help Needed to Foil Criminal Plot!

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Later this week the WSEM Championship Trophy will pass from the possession of its creator into the hands of the WSEM front office. No more information about the time or route of the transfer can be made public, however, as multiple tips have trickled into the WSEM offices about a potential plot to steal the trophy before it is safely transported back to headquarters. Five people have been identified as suspects, and investigations into each are underway. Details in the case against each suspect can be found below. Authorities request any further information that will help identify and apprehend the mastermind behind this heinous, criminal plot be submitted through our tip line found in the right-hand column. Remember, you can make a difference.

Both Chad "Skippy" Hoppe and Joel "Bond Villain" Crozier were brought in for questioning by authorities after following up on your tips. Chad quickly spilled his guts, admitting to having been hired by Crozier to seize the trophy. He provided full details of his plan, dates and times the two met to discuss their arrangement, and even handed over a taped phone call between the two. Due to his help in the case, Chad has been sentenced only to allowing half-shirts and stripping down to one's boxers at Frenchtown Field in 2012. Crozier escaped soon after being taken into custody. He is rumored to have fled the country to his island lair in the Caribbean. The trophy is safe, however. So, remember, you have made a difference.

Chad "Skippy" Hoppe, aka "The Rubber Bandit"

Chad has been quiet this offseason. Too quiet you think? Even without knowing the route, Chad is located in the perfect position between Whiteford and Canton to intercept the transport. The DeLoppes have the numbers to cover multiple choke points and the resourcefulness to pull off the heist, as well as plenty of space to stash their score afterward. Chad has publicly stated that he feels the DeLoppes are the best team in WSEM and deserve the championship. We have to realize the threat of our benefactor, who has given so much to the league, resorting to piracy to claim something he thinks he is owed.

It is understood that the only means to counter an attack by Chad's crew is to be on high alert at all times and never hit the brakes; unless, of course, he is chasing close behind, in which case hit the brakes and he will fly right by.


Brian Wheeler, aka "Wheel Man"

We were surprised to get this tip. Brian runs the London Wiffleball Tournament in central Ohio, and has a long-standing relationship with Commissioner Coffee. The only motive we can deduce is that he learned of our early plan to name a tournament trophy the Wheeler Cup. Since we have nixed the plan to do so, he feels betrayed and wants to affix a picture of his face - or at least a wheel - to the trophy before returning it to us. That way we would always remember Brian Wheeler, the impact he had on our league and on our trophy.

All members of the transport team know to look out for Ohio plates and Cincinatti Reds apparel while avoiding KFC restaurants and Pepsi delivery trucks - both prime ambush points for Wheeler's crew.


Larry the Cable Guy, aka "Already an Alias"

Reportedly news of Git r' done being WSEM champions spread to the man who coined the phrase, and now he wants the honor of having the trophy for himself. That or maybe he is rehearsing a role for a movie about a haphazard attempt to steal a Wiffleball trophy; that plot seems about right for Larry, actually. Whether or not Larry actually has friends who are fast cars is the only real concern here. The only instruction given to the team is simply to do as they always do: just ignore him and keep driving if he shows up.


Joshua "War Games" Nagorski

Why would Nagorski aim to steal the trophy when he is already a member of the champion Git r' Done/Thunder Ducks team about to receive it in a few weeks? Simple. It makes for the perfect crime. Who would suspect a player who would be in possession of the trophy in a few weeks? Git r' Done won the preseason tournament, they won the pennant, they won the WSEM Championship... Who could fault them for growing an invincibility complex? What better way for Nagorski to cement his increased role with the Thunder Ducks in 2012 than to go for it all right away? The possibility also exists that this could be a play for power within the ranks of the Thunder Ducks.

The transport team has been briefed to be on the look out for flocks of ducks slowly crossing the road, and given noise cancelling headphones to deal with the involvement of thunderous noises if Nagorski is the one coming for the trophy.


Joel "Bond Villain" Crozier

I take back using "perfect" to describe Nagorski's plan. This is the perfect, over-the-top, completely unnecessary crime: create the trophy, hold onto it for a few weeks, set up the date to hand it over, hand it over, then immediately steal it back. Whether Joel intends to pull off the job himself or hire a team is unknown. Being one of the few people who knows the start point, he is in the best position to cut off the transport. It is also likely that he would implement a trap within the trophy to incapacitate the team during transport - it fits his creative idiom.

In order to protect the shipment without tipping off Crozier the team must proceed cautiously. Smiles and excitement at seeing the trophy first hand will likely not have to be faked, however, gloves must be worn before shaking hands or handling the trophy to avoid exposure to possible chemical agents. Any additional security volunteered by Joel is to be refused, and the transport will avoid any streets mentioned in directions given to them. The team is also instructed to plant bugs on Joel's person and around Poolside Park if presented the opportunity.

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels - 17
Media Director, Rod Farva's Triumphant Return

Over/Under in the Eyes of Sir Nikolai

We get a different opinion on the make up of WSEM today with a countdown of the five most overrated and underrated players in the eyes of Sir Nikolai, Nick Braden, co-captain of the Thunder Duck squad. So, it is a champion's view from the top! I bet you think you already have an idea what his list might look like, but read on; you might be surprised once or twice.

Overs are listed over their respective numbers with the unders under. Get it? Also, player pictures link to their 2011 season stats in case you care to examine Nick's picks further.

	Starting out at number five on my overrated list is the man himself, Mr. Perfect Game, Chris Lewis. The only reason Chris makes this list is because of his tossing of the first ever WSEM perfect game, which put him in a high spot of the free agent market. On the plus side, he is now in a rotation with Dennis Pearson and Dylan Braden that may help him add a pitch or two to make him better, so he will no longer be on this list. If he adds another deadly weapon to his already stacked arsenal, he will throw another perfect game - mark my words.
5
	To start off the countdown of the most underrated players in the league I have to name my fellow Thunder Duck, Josh Roberts. Although people may think he is a complete and total jokester, he is not horrible. He has an absolutely amazing eye at the plate, which leads to a very high on base percentage (OBP) and more runs for the high powered Thunder Ducks offense. Once his fielding gets better he may become an everyday player for us.

	At overrated number four I have another Thunder Duck, Dylan Braden. He may be the second best hitter on the Thunder Ducks and part of the D&D Boys, but when he is bad he is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. For example, in this year's playoffs he hit .106, even though he hit the home run to win the championship. Those are no stats to scoff at. Sorry, Dylan, I had to do it.
4
	At the fourth most underrated spot is Bobby Hoppe. He is a dominant force on the Deloppes in the shadows of Joey Delano, Nick Snow, and Chad Hoppe. He closes for the Deloppes, although, he should be converted into a starter due to him throwing fast and very accurately. Bobby fights at the plate every pitch to make sure he gets on base.

	Next up, Joe Seto of the newly formed Donkeys. Now, don't get me wrong, Seto is a very good player given the stats he put up this year, but he lacks a good game against a good team. Until he is able to put together good performances against the good teams, I will place him on the over-rated side.
3
	Just edging out his brother for the third underrated spot is B.J. Hoppe. B.J. was the only guy to get a hit off of Dennis in the championship, an excellent defender, and you have to remember he gives it his all on every pitch. I can see him being a force to be reckoned with this upcoming season.

	In the two hole is WWA "fireballer," Austin Bischoff. Bischoff, a.k.a. Brennan Boesch with a half a year of stats, had a Brennan Boesch type year. Once every team figures him out WWA is screwed, because their number one will be taken out of their hands and they basically have no number two. For those that think he is better, or just as good as Dennis Pearson, SHUT UP and do the league a favor. The kid can only pitch, not produce with a bat.
2
	In the two slot we have Jason Hewlett of the Mattseals. Before getting hurt Hewlett was putting up very good numbers on a very bad team: that is unheard of. [Ed. note: Is it really? Last year in the AL West alone you had Fister with the Mariners and Gonzalez with the A's.] Rumors say he has been practicing at work, wherever he works, which leads to the question where does he work to have the time to practice wiffleball? I would love to work wherever he works. If he can stay healthy this season, he will be a very powerful force. This could make the Mattseals a spoiler.

	To round out the countdown of my overrated players we have Mr. Chad Hoppe. Somehow the number one pitcher on the excellent Deloppes in front the one and only lefty, Cliff Comstock. Chad lacks speed, which makes his pitches easier to hit. He should be dropped to the number four on his team. When it comes to batting, if he does not walk it is an automatic out.
1
	Rounding out the under-rated players in the league I have my teammate Josh Nagorski. Gorski is the founder of the Thunder Ducks. This guy may step into Dylan's spot and become the second best hitter on the team. Good defensive abilities, speed, and his performance in the playoffs will make him a leader in batting average and a lead component for the Thunder Ducks to repeat the championship.

-
Nick Braden
Thunder Ducks - 23
KGB

PEBs, the MLB, and You!

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

Nick Snow recently started the discussion about "construct(ing) a way to give the hitters an edge;" meaning we use larger barreled bats. Many leagues around the nation do this: Palisades, Golden Stick, and Tampa Bay Wiffleball - whose season should be just about ready to start - are some of the best examples. These leagues all use the larger barrels to give their batters a better chance and even up the play in their leagues. Quite literally performance enhancing bats. These leagues also allow scuffing; each pitcher meticulously carving personalized patterns into their own balls that boost the performance of their pitches. Quid pro quo. Over time hitters would gain an advantage, so rules changed to help pitchers; then pitchers began to dominate, so rules were amended to benefit batters, and so on.

"Performance enhancing bats," or PEBs, are a huge deal in Wiffleball circles. Their use is routinely debated with each side remaining certain that their way is correct. The Wiffler's Digest Magazine featured them as the cover story of their debut issue. Is Ryan Winfield right in his assertions that PEB users shell out hundreds of dollars only to take a game meant for childlike enthusiasm and fill it with scowls, disparaging remarks, and stepping on other players to elevate their own status? Do the replies in the inbox of the Second Edition from D. Morse and R. Ewald (and to a much lesser extent B. Kind) make a good point that yellow bats are useless when trying to hit at the highest level of fast pitch? It is probably important to note at this point that the bottom-tier pitchers in Palisades or GSWL are on par with Dennis Pearson and Austin Bischoff.

One thing any fan or player of Wiffle will, hopefully, agree on is that a lopsided game is a bad game. If pitchers completely dominate, then the game ends up boring. If pitchers cannot get a batter out, the big blasts may be fun for a minute, but soon it becomes old hat and tiresome to watch. So, what constitutes a fairly matched, "good game?" Why not go straight to the top? The MLB.

After talking with Snow and Commissioner Coffee, I was interested to see where exactly the numbers fell for our league. A quick glance showed that in 2011 WSEM had 26 batters, out of the 66 in the league, hit over .300. Looking a little deeper at only "everyday players" (14+ games played), only four hit below .200, while twelve hit above .280. Those numbers seemed to show that our batters were not so dominated by the pitchers after all. Still, that evidence was not concrete enough to make a statement. So, I dug up league averages for the MLB on www.baseball-reference.com and put them alongside ours. How do you think we lined up against the league we all grew up emulating?

Take a look:

On the batters' side, it is a clean sweep for WSEM. We hit better than the big leagues in each stat category! Wait, that is not really the point. Still a fun fact to tell your friends, though. The point is: the MLB is considered to be baseball played at its highest (read: "best") level. If our hitters were at a severe disadvantage that threatened to ruin the quality of the game, then you would expect us to fall far short of the MLB numbers.

Average (AVG) is the most obvious stat to look at, and a +.023 difference shows that as a league we hit very comparably to the MLB. Also, 35 WSEM players (53%) hit above the MLB average of .255, while 31 (47%) hit below that mark. Just about a perfect spread. A marginal difference of +.035 in Slugging percentage (SLG) shows that extra base hits come at a similar rate in WSEM as they do in the MLB, as well. On base percentage (OBP) is slightly inflated due to the greater number of walks in Wiffleball than baseball, but those extra bases mean another plus for our hitters. Looking at the numbers I think it is safe to say that our batters are not playing at an unfair disadvantage - just being challenged at a competitive level.

What about that challenge? How do WSEM pitchers match up against their MLB counterparts?

Remarkably well. WSEM pitchers show the same pattern of closely comparable numbers with the MLB that our batters did. The -0.11 advantage in earned run average (ERA) for our pitchers is so close it is beautiful. It is the aforementioned increase in walks that pushes our WHIP behind The Bigs, in what is the largest margin of difference of the six categories at +.064. The increase in Wiffleball strike-outs, though, brings the strike-out to walk ratio (K/BB) down to another so-close-it-is-beautiful -0.13 difference.

That last sentence is where the perceived "hitter's disadvantage" stems from; specifically, the increase in Wiffleball strike-outs. I get it. I feel you. Striking out does not make you feel good. Maybe it makes you feel silly, or even pissed off. It should not. Everyone strikes out, even Mr. .567, Joey Delano. The key point here is that, even with the Ks, we are still reaching base at the same level seen in the Major Leagues. Remember why the Wiffleball was created: so a twelve year old could throw a curve ball.

In addition to pitching being the reason behind the game, WSEM will already be featuring two new rules on the field next year that will assist the offensive numbers. First, the pitching rotation will limit aces to at most 14 games pitched; unless they only throw two innings, in which case you have three innings to get hits off someone else. Second, runners can now tag up from any base, allowing you more opportunities to maneuver into scoring situations. With those two rules providing a bump to already good offensive numbers I cannot see any reason to tell teams they need to spend hundreds of dollars on equipment for having fun in the backyard or park. In fact, I do not even see a need to take lesser action, such as moving the mound back to 48'. One day WSEM will probably face with the need to balance out the game for our hitters, but we are not there yet.

-
Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels - 17
Media Director, Research ANALyst