Team Tuesdays: Belgian Wiffles

You know how people will often say that they have put their blood and sweat into something to plead their dedication? Hey, Carl and I have probably let that overstatement slip once or twice in getting this league running. Well, David Buhr, captain of the Belgian Wiffles, actually has put his blood into our wiffleball Field of Dreams. The first time he came out to play at Pacman Park in the summer of 2009, he made a diving attempt on the first base side of the field.  When he got up blood was streaming down his forearm. Not sure how much time actually passed, but it seemed to be a long, drawn out moment, before David finally casually said he should probably leave and get his arm taken care of. The rest of us scoured for the rest of the glass and kept saying we couldn’t believe that happened, and imagine how bad it could have been. At the field later, Carl received a text from David stating that his sister had convinced him he needed to get stitches, even though he still didn’t think it was that bad. Needless to say this was the big push for us to finally start having players sign waivers. We even considered putting up a gag advertisement for “Buhr-mese Imported Glass” on an outfield wall to commemorate David’s accident. We did not, nor was David about to give up wiffleball over a glass shard; he was one of the first signed up to bring a team to the August tournament.

This first incarnation of the Belgian Wiffles was pieced together from free agents, and the results were like trying to piece back together broken gla… Alright! I’ll stop with the glass talk! Buhr was joined by current teammate Nolan Gonyea, as well as Matt Murtha, now a Flying Squirrel, and good friend to Wiffle in Southeast Michigan, Chris Kincaide. With an 0-2 record in the double elimination tournament the team’s performance was not up to the same level as their enthusiasm. Still, there is a bright side found in 2009 for the Belgian Wiffles: Gonyea and Buhr had a .500 and .300 AVG, respectively, as well as nine walks between them in two games. So, they will get on base and then approach every play with an aggressive mindset to try to swing the momentum their way. This year, having more experience with wiffle, we should only expect the numbers from these two players to improve. Oh, and while we are talking “numbers,” Gonyea has selected the most original, stand-out uniform number in WSEM by far: 52.7!

David Buhr at bat the 2009 Downriver Wiffle Tournament

The Belgian Wiffles did not play in 2010, and when they take the field in 2011 the team will be running out a heavily restructured lineup. Power at the plate was a problem for Belgian in 2009, and wasn’t helped with the loss of Murtha, their only true power threat. So, to resolve that problem in the 2010-2011 offseason Buhr has made three signings to boost his team’s slugging numbers, as well as to shore up their pitching ranks. The first two signings, Chris Lewis and Marc Strawser, will join Buhr on the mound, and look to form a strong rotation: Buhr is an accurate pitcher, having never recorded a BB, while Lewis and Strawser are billed as confident, hard-throwers who will throw the ball by batters and likely compete to be the Belgian Wiffles’ ace. Both Lewis, a fast-pitch baseball player by trade, and Strawser, a GM at Powerhouse Gym, also look to provide some much needed power to the Belgian lineup. The most recent addition to the everyday Belgian lineup is Chuck Weiler, signed to his deal by Chris Lewis earlier this week. Weiler brings with him wiffleball experience dating back to at least 2003 in the South End Wiffle Association, and has some impressive references on his wiffle resume, having played with the Michigan's wiffleball Moses, Alan Garcia, at Fat Bastard in 2008. Weiler is not alone in his wiffle pedigree on the team either; Jay Mac, another recent signing to the Belgian roster, has also logged playing time at the Wifflehouse.

I led this article off with the “blood and sweat” joke, but the truth is David really does have a passion for this game and puts a ton of effort into it. Buhr and new teammate Chris Lewis approach their lineup in the same way David approaches his game: make every move count, play every play one-hundred percent, and, simply, just do it right. This methodology seems to be present with the whole 2011 roster of the Belgian Wiffles: the first truly assembled roster in WSEM. Although, less like “pieced together broken glass,” and much more in the way of one solid unit methodically crafted in the furnace and precisely prepared with time. They may have made something special with this lineup; do not be surprised to see the Belgian Wiffles amass a sizeable win total and go on a serious run when the games mean the most.

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/belgian-wiffles.html

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Brandon Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Strike Zoning Commission Supervisor

8 Preseason Predictions

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

After a one week hiatus, I return with a brand spanking new Coffee Time. This week, I am going to list eight predictions for what I think will occur in our inaugural season of WSEM. These predictions will range from slightly obvious to bold, and maybe even to moronic. As the season nears and we hopefully reach eight teams, Brandon and I will have fun with betting lines and over/unders, but for now, let's just have some stupid fun.

8. Brian Constanti will NOT be the most dominant pitcher this year.

I know how dominant Brian was in the only tournament he played in, but I just don't see him as the league’s number-one pitcher this year. I believe veterans Corbett, Chad Hoppe, or even Pearson all have a good shot at taking over the honor of #1 pitcher with their continued improvement and experience.

7. Alex Shore will lead the league in runs scored.

Not the most exciting stat in the world, but when it is all said and done, what is really more important than runs? Alex has the patience and the timely hitting to get on base, and with a strong lineup behind him; he should score a lot.

6. The DD Boys will both be Top Five HR hitters.

Dennis Pearson and Dylan Braden could have shared the honor of most improved players in 2010, and this year I expect big things from them offensively. Both of the DD Boys swing hard, and I think when it's all said and done, they will both be two of the top HR leaders.

5. No team will win more than 20 games.

I really believe the parity in this league is suburb. There are four or five teams I could see winning it all, and that number could even be higher once I see the rookies play. Even though I wouldn't be shocked to see a team win 20-22 games, I am gonna stand firm in this prediction.

4. Chad Hoppe will lead the league in strike outs.

Chad, who I mentioned as a likely candidate to be the most dominant pitcher this year, has a history of high strike out totals. I have no reason to believe that won't continue. He also pitches pretty much every inning for the DeLoppes, so that will obviously help his total.

3. Chris Lewis from the Belgian Wiffles will be an All Star.

Captain David Buhr took advantage of an unknown free agent and signed Chris Lewis. Nobody in the league except for Chris Lewis knows how good Chris Lewis really is. I have a feeling this guy will be a stud. Although he is a pitcher, I think his hitting will get him voted in as an All Star. This is a bold prediction, so make me look smart Chris.

2. The Westside Warriors will lead the regular season in wins.

Captain Alex Shore has made some big moves this offseason and has assured himself to be able to find four guys when they play. This team made it to the championship game in September with only 3 guys, so imagine what they will do with a full team. The Warriors have the young legs, strong hitters, and a roster full of pitchers. When all the teams have played their full 28 games, you will see the Warriors going into the playoffs as the #1 seed.

1. The WSEM World Series will be between the DeLoppes and the Flying Squirrels.

Although I like the Warriors in the regular season, I think these two veteran teams will meet in the end. The DeLoppes and the Squirrels both have an ace pitcher in Corbett and C. Hoppe, and the two teams will ride their coattails. Who will win it all? Well you have to wait to find out that one.

Those are my eight predictions for the season. A lot could obviously change these predictions, though. For instance, how good will the Commandos be? With a ten man roster, they could be just as dominant as any team. Who will be the 8th team? Will they be a team of unknowns, or will wiffle veterans claim the final franchise? Will rookies dominate again? Will Chad Hoppe hit his first home run? Will Todd make an appearance? Well...I can't wait to see how these predictions pan out.

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Carl Coffee

Flying Squirrels, 18, SS

VP of Communications

Team Tuesdays: Westside Warriors

When a bunch of unknown high schoolers showed up to play in our tournament last June, I really didn't know what to think. Would they be cocky? Would they be competitive? Would they be able to handle the trash talk and dish it back? Would they show? Or would these guys from the northern suburbs be overwhelmed, disinterested and never play again? Well, much to my delight and for the good of the game, the Westside Warriors were confident, into wiffle, competitive, and they were talkers. Oh, were they talkers!

The first thing I noticed about the Warriors as they swaggered toward the fields was their very well made, lettered hockey style black jerseys. Is it smart to wear black jerseys in the summer? Well, maybe not, but it sends a message and if any team can pull it off, it is these guys. These high school seniors with their black jerseys, wicked sunburns, and fearless attitudes may seem standoffish at first, but once you talk to them the back-and-forth jokes and jabs start, and your preconceived notions evaporate quickly.

Now batting... batting... batting... batting...
Cool: confident and competitive, if likely not by temperature

The Warriors are led by captain Alex Shore. His left handed power bat combined with top speed makes him a dangerous hitter. He also has a 3-2 tournament pitching record with 43 strike outs. When you combine power, speed, stellar defense and pitching, you have a nice player there. Although Alex excels in those aspects of the game, he isn't the best pitcher or hitter on his team. The pitching ace of the Warriors is Maclin Malloy. In 4 games Malloy went 3-1 with 26 strike outs along with a 1.43 ERA. When the Warriors have Malloy on the mound, they will be a tough team to beat. The Warriors top bat is Nick Woods. Woods is one of the smartest hitters in the league. His patience and timely hitting should scare even the best pitchers in the league. Lost in the shuffle is Matt Whelan. Whelan along with Shore, Whelan was the only Warrior able to play in both the June and September tournaments. In the June tournament, he led the Warriors with 12 hits. Greg Voutsos, who only played in the September tournament, is an RBI machine. He had a tournament leading 11. Wesley Papacharalambous also has tournament experience, and hopes to rebound after a sub-par performance last June. Wesley did have 3 RBIs, so he can come through with a hit in the clutch even on an off day. The Warriors made a couple big splashes in their lineup this offseason in the signing of Tom Heffernan, a wiffle rookie with a power bat, and PJ Nowak, who has committed to Yale to play baseball, so you know he will be a threat in WSEM.

Won't lie; I'm not sure what's happening here. I just want to throw out sweet nicknames!
"Shoeless Joe" Matt Whelan collides with "Michael Jordan tongue" Maclin Malloy
as he flips the ball toward the mound? (Or a still from a Godzilla movie?)

Alex has assembled a great roster. The Warriors strength is their speed and patience. They can win games by taking walks and then showing off their heads-up baserunning. They are an average hitting team, but with one year of experience under their belts and signing Heffernan, they will likely bring those numbers up and move toward becoming elite. The biggest question mark with the Warriors is their pitching; the Warriors aren't sure if they can rely on Malloy consistently, and their only other proven pitcher is Alex. They will need another pitcher to step up if they want to stay competitive over the length of a four-month season.

I look forward to seeing how the Warriors play this season. The enthusiasm, good-natured ribbing, and competitive edge they bring to the game are some of the things that have boosted interested in wiffle and helped make this league a reality. These guys have fun when they are on the field, and when you play against them that fun is contagious!

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/2011/01/westside-warriors.html

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Carl Coffee
Flying Squirrels, 18, SS
Ass of an Insistent Traveling Secretary

The Curse of the Host Team

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

There is a curse that hangs over the wiffleball fields of southeastern Michigan. It stirs quietly, nigh unnoticeably. It does not behave like the curses of mummies found in Egyptian architectural digs; it has never claimed any lives, but it has been known to haunt the dreams of every tournament host at night. It gets in their heads. It will never allow them to win!

Our knowledge of the curse goes back as far as our knowledge of competitive wiffleball. It showed up twice in 2005, when we resumed play in 2009, and twice again in 2010. The occurrences are too frequent to be chalked up to coincidence. The wiffle community has come up with a multitude of theories as to why this phenomenon exists: psychological, scientific, athletic related, Bermuda triangular… perhaps some with a scant amount of merit. Yet no one has performed any research into the “why” or “what” is behind its unmistakable presence. So, over this offseason that is what I set out to do: find the source of the reason why wiffle host teams have been damned by the universe.

My initial searches of the popular internet search engine Google for “wiffleball fatalities,” “hundreds burnt to death in wiffleball tournament with poorly organized fire exit,” the similar yet possibly more apropos “tens drown in wiffleball tournament poorly organized to be played on swamp bog,” and the perhaps too on the nose, “ghost haunts wiffleball field” all proved fruitless. So, I expanded my horizons. I changed my search parameters to not only include wiffleball hauntings, but all baseball related games. This was the breakthrough in the case!

Now, softball and baseball are too well-established and played in too many places (even if still usually poorly organized) to be effectively haunted by a vengeful spirit, so I skipped over those cases and landed on a fascinating cricket story out of Dearborn, MI that had all of the elements that made it fit perfectly with our problem. I know, you’re thinking, “why cricket?” Well, maybe they knew what a crumpet is? That’s what you need to know to understand cricket, after all. Now then, back to our connection. In 1982 as part of the launch of the Detroit Cricket Club, a small 4 team tournament was played at a neighborhood park in the suburb of Dearborn. [Ed note: Does this sound like something that might happen in a sport we’re familiar with? Hmm…] The tournament was put on by one of the founding teams from the club, and they invited friends, neighbors, and friends’ neighbors’ kids to participate. One of the latter, a 14 year old referred to in the article only as Todd, is without a doubt in my mind our ghost. The hex that hangs over us is his. How can I be sure? Just read on.

1982 cricket article clipping

The team that came from the cricket club to put the event on had great intentions, but didn’t have enough proper equipment to go around, or the patience and tact to properly teach all the participants the ins and outs of the game. The organizers lacked batting leg guards in a size that fit Todd. In his first attempt he looked foolish trying to swing the cricket bat in an oversized pair, then stumbled and tripped trying to run in them when he finally made contact with the ball. So to remedy this, he did some Goldilocks problem solving, and wore leg guards that were too small for his second time up; an excruciatingly poor and painful decision. One of the bowler’s [“pitcher” in cricket] deliveries redirected off an uneven patch of dirt and caught Todd square in his left testicle. No one got to see whether Todd would have fared better running in the smaller pads, and Todd’s left testicle never experienced anything again after going into the hospital.

Details on the rest of Todd’s life are difficult to come by, but we can assume a few things. First, he never played cricket again. Second, because of the curse we can assume he held onto his hatred for small, independently run sports tournaments, especially those involving showdowns between pitchers and batters. Third, because of the hex that hangs over us he has passed away. [R.I.P. Todd. Your sports casualty is tragic. We feel terrible for you. Please, don’t haunt us.] I know, you’re asking, “why would he haunt wiffle? The likelihood of losing a nut in wiffle is infinitely small.” Well, yes, your nuts are tiny but that’s just going to get us off track. Todd’s vengeance is massive, unlike your small balls, and he is unable to satisfactorily deal out his wrath on only the few cricket clubs and teams in the area. He smites the Greens, Whites, and Blues of the DCC with all of his scorn every chance he gets, but that alone cannot satiate him. He needs more.

Wiffleball makes the perfect secondary target for Todd: pitchers, batters, tournaments organized by individuals played in parks and backyards, and most importantly host teams to use as the whipping boys for his lifetime of anger. [What? You thought the “seem familiar?” question in paragraph four was rhetorical?] By his ghostly logic wiffle is a perfect home away from home for his beyond the grave vengeance. How he effects the gameplay is purely conjecture as I am not a spiritual envoy, but I have a theory based on another wiffle phenomenon: the power of his lost testicle is supernaturally given to rookies, allowing them to play with, literally, 1.5 times the balls of veterans. This is supported by the evidence of outstanding performances by rookies through the history of WSEM, and perhaps it can also explain why some of the best rookie performers (Emery, Falleteich, and Negele) choose not to come back to the game – the feeling from their supernatural possession frightens them away from coming back. However Todd is able to do it, he is effective. In five tournaments no host team has ever won and only once have they made it to the championship. That one time happened to be our first tournament; it is likely the hosts’ early success was due to Todd not yet being aware of us or present in our midst.

Non-believers have tried to convince me that there are “real-world” explainable reasons for both the host teams’ lack of success, as well as rookies’ success. They say that the host team has so much else on their minds, like keeping everything organized and making sure everything is running smoothly, that people know where they’re supposed to be and when, keeping track of wins, losses, rankings and the bracket, and then having to focus on a game with all that going on. Rookies, on the other hand, think about next to nothing; having little experience with the game it is pretty much “see ball, hit ball” and when pitching “see target, hit target;” no over-thinking. Sure that sounds good, like math, but to them I say, “Todd works in mysterious ways…”

[Ed. note: After further, more sober research into the matter it appears possible that the “ball lost” by Todd may have been a ball he fouled off into the yard of a reclusive elderly resident, which would make this more a tale like ‘The Sandlot’ than a tale of sordid revenge. However, even IF this version of the story is true, it would remain possible that Todd, still responsible for the ball, went to get it back and was killed by the crazy old coot. Therefore, he’d still harbor ill will in the afterlife toward the cricket team and club for its poor tournament organization, namely still bringing adequate supplies. So, the case is not yet closed!]

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Brandon Corbett

F'n Squirrels, 17, P

Chief Experimentation Officer

Team Tuesdays: Ass Kickers

Sometimes game imitates name. When Michael Constanti signed his team up for their first wiffle tournament, the 2010 Flag-a-Palooza, he made a statement to the effect of, “I don’t care about team names much, just winning on the field. So, just give us a kickass team name.” And so they came to be the Kickass Team. Their roster was culled from softball leagues, so everyone expected them to bring big bats and put up impressive offensive stats. No one knew what they would be able to do on the mound. So, would this be a case of game imitating name?

Well, when the day started for the Kickass Team they seemed to be playing right by into our expectations, going 1-2 in round robin play. The softballers put up respectable offensive numbers: two players above the tournament average for AVG and SLG, with a third right at the average, and nine home runs on the day. Brian Constanti was the team’s best performer with a .500 AVG, .921 SLG, and four home runs. They juggled pitching duties between three of their players: the brothers Constanti and Ryan Davis. Michael and Ryan both had a hard time finding their way around the mound, walking more than they struck out and losing in their efforts. It looked as though offense alone wouldn’t be enough to live up to the name… but then Brian took the mound.

The Ass Kickers bring the big bats and long balls with
them from the softball diamond to the wiffleball field.

At the perfect moment Brian Constanti took on the pitching duties for his team, and brought the kickass into the Kickass Team. He put up pitching stats that were even more dominating than his offensive numbers: 0.34 ERA, 1.34 WHIP, 42 Ks in 29 IP, a 5-1 record, and the tournament championship. What might be most impressive is that Brian has this dominance with one stand-out pitch. He throws a cut fastball with good velocity and crippling accuracy; the pitch is always in on the hands of righties and cuts 4-6 inches late, giving him control over the inner third of the plate, forcing defensive swings. Weak hits, tips into the board for Ks, as well as good old fashion swing and miss Ks are the usual fare when in the box against Brian.

Hard and in on the hands: a good example of Brian's pitching style.

For 2011 there will be some makeover for the team. First, they are taking the soccer out of their name, changing to the Newport Ass Kickers. Also, they are in the process of shaking up their lineup. So far the Ass Kickers are only returning three players from last year’s roster for 2011, the Constanti brothers and James Harris, but Michael is already proclaiming the Ass Kickers as the team to beat, predicting a championship run, and heralding Brian’s dominance as WSEM’s number-one pitcher. [Edit: Damien Rogers has been picked up from the Commandos to provide another everyday, consistent bat in the Ass Kickers' lineup.] Last year’s Flag-a-Palooza was their first experience with competitive wiffleball, so their numbers will likely improve across the board. If that is the case and their championship wasn’t just “rookie luck,” then the guys hailing from Newport are definitely going to be one of the teams atop the standings, living up to their captain’s hype, and playing game like their name: Ass Kickers.

This just in at five o’clock: Captain Constanti is considering a name change to the Newport Yankees. If this development happens and their game does imitate name, they’ll obviously command all of the media attention to over hype mediocre on the field performance and elitist off the field stunts. So, let’s hope the imitation won’t extend to such an instance for these guys; they deserve better!

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/2011/01/newport-ass-kickers.html

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Brandon Corbett

Flying Squirrels, 17, SS

Chairman of Electronic Oversight

Top 5 Hitters

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

After reading my first two "Coffee Time" articles, you probably think I only care about the pitchers and the defense. Yes, it's easier to rank the Top 5 pitchers. Yes, our rules do favor the defense. However, I still haven't forgotten about the hitters. As exciting as dominant pitching or a diving catch can be, a home run still takes the cake. As someone who only pitches during batting practice, or if we have a dominant lead in the 5th inning, I can only get my glory from a big at bat. Through the years I have played against a number of great hitters, and just like with the Top 5 Pitchers Rankings, I will use past stats, future potential, and personal experience to rank my Top 5 Hitters. A lot of teams and players are new, so if you get left off now, don't feel bad. You still have a chance to get on them later, because once the season starts, I will adjust these rankings.

#5 Nick Woods [Westside Warriors]

Just like his teammate Maclin Malloy did with the Pitching List, a member from the Warriors cracked this Top 5 list. Although Woods only played in one tournament, it would be very hard to leave him off the list. Woods not only showed patience at the plate, (7 BB's in 29 plate appearances) he also showed great power and timely hitting (2 HR's, 4 RBI's). His 11 hits propelled him to a very impressive .500 Batting Average, but Nick's two most impressive stats were his .621 On Base Percentage (OBP), and his .818 Slugging Percentage (SLG).

#4 Brandon Corbett [Flying Squirrels]

Teammate Brandon Corbett comes in at #4. Along with his #2 Pitching Ranking, it sure makes him a dual threat player. Before I get into his stats, my favorite wiffle memory of him was during round robin play at last year's Flag-a-Palooza tournament. Corbett and Chad Hoppe were having a pitching dual, and with the score 0-0 in the bottom of the 5th, Corbett hit a solo HR to win the game. It's good to have a guy like that on your team. In the three tournaments Corbett has played in, he has a lifetime .345 Batting Average, .637 SLG%, 6 HR's, and 14 RBI's. Also in every tournament, he's been over .500 in OBP. So as you see, he can hit for both power and average.

#3 Dennis Pearson [Git r Done]

Dennis just missed getting ranked for top pitchers, but he cracks the list at #3 for Best Hitters. When Git r Done first burst onto the wiffle scene in the August of 2009 tournament, Dennis was the lone bright spot in a team that went 0-2. Although he didn't show his power then, everyone knew this kid could hit. The following year at the Flag-a-Palooza, Dennis along with a surprise offensive showing from Dylan Braden, shocked everyone and reached the finals. Dennis continued to pound the ball at the Hoppe’s Fall Tournament, and was once again the lone bright spot for them. Dennis is one of the most dangerous hitters in the league, because at any time he can send one over the fence. Although his stats won't blow you away just yet, (.279 career BA, 6 HR's, 11 RBI's) I have a good feeling they will after this year. Dennis is easily my prediction for Home Run King.

#2 Brian Constanti [Newport Ass Kickers]

Along with Corbett, Brian Constanti also made both the Top Pitchers and Batters Lists. I really didn't want to rank Brian this high knowing he only played in one tournament, but I just can't ignore his stats. We already know they won the only tournament they played in led by Brian's pitching. Well, they had to score some runs too, and Brian did just that. Brian led his team in every single offensive category. He went 19 for 38, (.500 BA) had 6 walks, 4 HR's, and 8 RBI's. It doesn't stop there, he also scored 7 runs, had a .568 OBP, and an incredible .921 SLG%. It is hard to believe that these stats are from one tournament!

#1 Joey DeLano [Wiffling DeLoppes]

For the veterans out there, this may shock you: a Wiffling DeLoppe as the top hitter in the league?!?! I've played against and watched Joey play, and no batter in the league is a tougher out than him. The most dangerous part of Joey's game is his speed. I would bet that he is the fastest guy in the league. You better be on top of your game when you're playing defense against him, because any ball he hits on the ground he will most likely leg out for a base hit. In the August of 2009 tournament, Joey went an astounding 11 for 19 (.579 BA) and also hit 1 HR and had 7 RBI's. He also only struck out twice and had one walk, which shows that this guy loves to swing the bat. Did Joey carry the DeLoppes on offense that day? Well he did have 7 of his team 9 RBI's, so the answer is easy. In last year's Flag-A-Paloozas he cooled off a little bit, but not by much. He still finished the day with 10 hits and another HR. Joey's .466 career BA, along with his killer speed made him an easy choice to be #1.

That concludes the rankings of the Preseason Top 5 Hitters. Once the season is about a 1/4 of the way through I will take a look at everyone's stats and redo them to see how this stacks up. But for now, the guys who I just mentioned, enjoy the bragging rights!

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Carl Coffee
Flying Squirrels, 18, SS
Chief Wiffling Officer

Team Tuesdays: Wiffling DeLoppes

I have to think that being a Wiffling DeLoppes fan must be a lot like being a Chicago Cubs fan. You love them, they’re all great guys, great competitors, they always seem to be in the hunt, but just don’t come out on top. Although maybe in the Detroit area, we should say it is more like being a Detroit Lions fan. They play a ton of close games, but just can’t get the “big play” when they need it, so their record [6-11, two wins in each tournament they’ve played] doesn’t show you how tough of an opponent they really are. Forget the cubs, except the loveable part – the DeLoppes are one of the most fun teams you’ll ever share a field with. The DeLoppes are the Detroit Lions of wiffleball, with one critical difference: the Lions’ problem is defense; the DeLoppes have defense in spades, but can’t seem to find the offense when they need it.

Led by captain and pitcher Chad Hoppe the DeLoppes play more one-run games, walk-offs, and extra inning games than any team should ever have to suffer. The tension and sense that the entire game could be decided on any single at-bat is nearly always hanging overhead in a DeLoppes game.  The location and break of every pitch needs to be precise, even more so than usual. As a batter you need to capitalize on any mistake you see, and leg out any pitchers’ pitch you’re able to fight off onto the ground into fair territory. On the base paths you need to be aggressive, because going first-to-third may present the only true scoring chance you’ll get in the game. As a defender… no errors, that’s you’re thought, no errors and keep it in front of you.

What’s the reason behind this heightened, “elephant on your shoulders,” any and every play means the world level of competition? Chad Hoppe; he’s a pitcher. On a bad day most pitchers might have one or two pitches working, Chad will have four. He has somewhere around eight in his repertoire, six-ish in heavy rotation: there’s a riser, slider, sinker, effective fare of that normal sort, and then there’s something that no one is sure about: is it a curve, a sinker… a change-up? No one knows. So, opponents have bestowed upon it the name “broken zipper,” after the odd gyrations it puts your legs through when trying to swing at it, in a sacrificial attempt to appease whatever wiffle deity gifted the pitch. Seriously, here are some pictures of what the broken zipper does to otherwise coordinated men:

Behind that pitching the DeLoppes’ defend the field smoothly: lots of ground balls, lots of clean plays and throws from the other Hoppe brothers, Bobby and BJ. Joey Delano playing LF gives them the big play ability in the field, as well, and is the big bat in their lineup. Cliff Comstock debuted in the September tournament and will join the everyday roster this season, providing the DeLoppes a relief arm out of their bullpen. The DeLoppes one problem is stringing together hits to produce runs. They get men on base, but cannot get timely hits to push them across the plate. Thus, they often find themselves unable to capitalize on chances in low-scoring affairs. Captain Chad Hoppe is promising a remedy for their offensive woes in the 2011 season with the additions of the bats of Nick Snow and Chucky McDonald to the roster. Chad has gone on record in offseason talks saying, “we won’t  just be heart and defense anymore.”

Wiffling DeLoppes' games are every bit deserving of the "wiffle" in their name: exciting, demanding, competitive, and always fun. If Chad is right and they get their offense clicking, even just enough to get two or three runs per game, they will find themselves atop the league standings and being gunned for in some of the most buzzed about playoff games come July. Oh yeah, in case you didn’t catch it, they divined their team name from a mash-up of the last names of their first roster: perhaps a real testament to a team made up of and depending on all of its parts.

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/wiffling-deloppes.html

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Brandon M. Corbett
F'n Squirrels, 17, P
President of Tangential Operations

Coffee Time: Super Rule Fun Play

		Coffee Time
		by Carl Coffee

5 "Wacky" Rules for Wiffling in WSEM

For my second Coffee Time discussion I am talking about the unique rules of Wiffle in Southeast Michigan. This is to benefit league veterans who have wondered where these rules came from, and to help the rookies, who may be a bit confused by them, get a handle on them. Wiffleball is such a different game than baseball or softball, and rules can change drastically from one wiffle league to another. We formed our rules by taking rules from tournaments we have played in, rules we read about and found awesome, and the products of our own creative minds.

First off, wiffleball is usually played one of two ways: slow/medium pitch with base running, or fast pitch without base running. Well, right off the bat you can see how different we are, because we are a fast pitch league with base running. Pitchers can throw as fast or as slow as they want, which I believe is the only way to play the game. A wiffleball field without bases, instead using lines to determine whether a hit is a single, double, or triple, looks incredibly silly and amateurish. I never see us changing the fast-pitch/base-running style of play.

This next rule is easily our most popular and exciting: our first pitch strike out rule! If I have asked 100 people about this rule, I would say 99 out of the 100 love it. It speeds up the game, but more importantly it creates excitement that few sports rules can. It's very simple: if the pitcher hits the strike zone board on the first pitch of an at bat and the batter does not swing, they are out. I found this after reading the rules of the Wiffleup Tournaments (http://www.wiffleup.com/). When I read about it, we tested it out and instantly knew it was a keeper. For the new players who have never played with this rule, you are probably thinking it isn't a big deal, well, any of our veterans will tell you differently. In baseball, the most exciting count is of course the 3-2 count. Well in our league, the most exciting count is the 0-0 count. No pitch is more important than the first, and the best pitchers in our league take advantage of it. Pitchers who have a reputation of being accurate, will more times than not start with an 0-1 count (more on our count a couple paragraphs down). The batters will be swinging away to avoid being one and done. Something that I find funny is when a pitcher throws a beauty of a first pitch that hits the board and the batter takes a lame looking, half cut swing, the batter’s teammates usually always cheer him on,"nice swing". Yes, the batter looked like a fool, but he is still alive in the at bat. Striking out on the first pitch happens to everyone, the good hitters and the bad, so don't feel bad when it happens to you.



Pitcher, Chad Hoppe, surprises Ryan Davis with a
breaking ball on the outside corner with the first pitch.

The first rule I want to write about here is our unique force out rule. We use this rule because it was the rule at the first competitive tournament we ever played in, London, OH (http://www.londonwiffleball.com/). Wiffleball is obviously not baseball or softball, so fielding a 1st baseman is a crazy idea. Instead, there is a five foot radius circle around the pitcher's mound for force outs. We are not unique to have a giant circle around the pitcher's mound, however, most leagues use that as an out ONLY to 1st base. WSEM uses the circle to get all force outs for the lead runner. The rule officially reads as this: The force out in the pitcher's circle applies to the lead-runner. However, if the lead runner beats the throw to the bag, the rule “waterfalls" back through the bases. So, if the trailing runner doesn't beat the throw, then the force out applies to that trailing runner. Only one out may be recorded in the pitcher's circle per play. You really have to be on your toes on offense and on defense. A bases loaded situation with one out in our league is not as scary of a situation as it would be in a league that only uses the pitcher's circle as an out to 1st base. A lot of the top offensive players in our league are the fearless base-runners who turn singles into doubles, or go from 1st to 3rd on a base hit so they can be immune from being a force out. It's a fun rule that helps out the defense immensely, and also creates many exciting situations for the offense.


The Warriors attempt to make an out in the pitchers' circle. Since
the runner has rounded second, the force play will be at first base.

Another way to get base runners out is our rarely made use of pegging rule, or I should say our lack of pegging rule… or limited pegging rule. In most, if not all base running wiffleball leagues, pegging is a staple. We, however, only allow pegging from 3rd base to home. This is another rule we took from London Wiffleball. Just like the force out rule, it has just stuck after all these years, and we like it this way. We know wiffleball has its wacky rules and we sure have a few of our own, so you would think we would have no problem pegging base runners. Once again we love to be different, so of course our pegging rule is much different than most leagues. I've played in a few tournaments that do allow pegging, and I believe it makes the game very messy. If wiffleball was art, then pegging would be "finger painting". We like our outs to be pretty and look like baseball: thrown from one defensive player to another, whether it's to the player in the pitchers’ circle, or to a player standing on a base. Although it rarely happens successfully, pegging is attempted from time to time when a runner is on his way home. So for you wifflers who love to peg out a runner, you aren't completed ignored. I guess the reason why we keep the rule this way is simple, we need to help out the offense sometime! The first two rules I wrote about are very much to the advantage of the defense, so we needed to even things out somehow.

Our ball-strike count rule is simple, yet still quite unique. It is a rule that once again is to the advantage of the defense, 5 balls for a walk, and 2 strikes for an out. We have tried all kinds of different counts in wiffleball. From the traditional 4-3, to changing to a 5-3, and I think we even at one time played with a 6-2? Nothing is worse than a game filled with walk after walk. A windy day or having an inexperienced pitcher can make a game unbearable to play in or watch. Combined with our unique first pitch rule, a 5 balls for a walk, and 2 strikes for an out rule speeds the game along very nicely, and keep the batter engaged for every pitch; he is not able to look for and wait on a specific pitch.

The last rule is our most frequently changed, while probably the least used on the field: our tag up rule. We used to let base runners tag up from any base on a caught fly ball. Now, we only allow runners to tag from 3rd to home. The changes to the rule don’t stop there. In 2010 halfway from 3rd to home there was a line. On a pop fly when the runner is tagging up from 3rd base, if the pitcher or any other fielder got the ball in the pitchers’ circle, and the runner’s entire body had NOT completely crossed the line, the play was dead and the runner had to return to 3rd base. If the runner had crossed the line, then you either had to peg him or tag him before he touched home. The Hoppe’s in their September tournament shook it up a bit and added some spice to the rules of this play, making it so that if you are able to throw the ball and hit the strike zone board before the runner touches home, then the runner is out. We like the addition of being able to hit the board as another way to get the tagged up runner out, and are carrying it over into league play in 2011. However, we’re changing the tag up rule once again by removing the halfway line. The reason we’re doing this is to simplify play and make the game run smoother. Having to notice if the runner had crossed the line is just one more thing someone has to pay attention to, and more often than not, no one had a sure look, which can lead to arguments, slowing the game down. Without the line, all players need to concentrate on is the runner, the plate, and the board: all conveniently in one spot. Less confrontation, more action!


Pretend Jason Stanley made this great diving catch and is quickly getting
the ball in to the pitchers circle.  In 2010 this would have been
a dead ball. In 2011 his only play will be to peg the runner or the board.


These rules have been critiqued many times, even during the writing of this article, and probably will be critiqued again in the future. Some people love our rules, some people dislike them, and some are just left confused by them. One thing Brandon and I talked about was having certain rules be flexible, so a team with their own home field could adjust them to their liking. Certain rules such as the force outs, the first-pitch strikeout, and the 5-2 count would be the same at every field. Rules such as the tag-up rule, though, and maybe even pegging, might be something that a home team could change. That is something we will talk about at our winter meeting. I hope this helped everyone out a bit. Stay warm, winter is half over!



-
Carl Coffee
Flying Squirrels, 18, SS
Commissioner,
A Tourney General

Team Tuesdays: Git r' Done

Git r' Done is one of Wiffle in Southeast Michigan’s youngest teams by age, but are also one of the teams that has been competing with us the longest. First appearing on the wiffle scene in Downriver Wiffle’s August 15th, 2009 Fast Pitch Tournament, they have since played in both 2010 Downriver Wiffle tournaments with different lineups on each occasion. The core of the team, Dennis Pearson, Dylan Braden, and Nick Braden, however, has been in the lineup at each tournament and has made great strides toward being strong contenders. On the field Git r' Done has developed strong rivalries with both the Ass Kickers and Westside Warriors, and off the field their search for a visual identity has resulted in the first behind the scenes controversy between teams in the upstart WSEM.

After a disappointing 0-2 showing in the double elimination tournament in 2009 Git r' Done came back and put on a showcase of offensive power that catapulted them into the Rally Around the Flag-a-Palooza championship in June [stats: batting, pitching]. Coming out of the losers’ bracket they defeated the Kickass Team (now Newport Ass Kickers), who had beaten them in the first round, in game one forcing a final showdown between the two teams. Kickass and Git r' Done had faced three times prior with Git r' Done having won a round-robin game and now holding a 2-1 series lead. Kickass would come back, however, quiet the now tired Git r' Done’s bats, and win the championship in the final low-scoring game.

Still, they showed tremendous progress as a team and came away with something to brag about: going from 0-2 to 5 wins and playing for a championship – a championship that was lost only on the timing of the wins in a 2-2 series tie. So, going into the September tournament expectations were high and pitchers were looking for ways to limit Git r' Done’s newfound offensive prowess. Perhaps  they were bitten by a familiar gremlin, though, as Git r' Done followed up their 5-2 runner-up finish with a 1-4 showing after playing in an extra-inning slugfest that lasted over an hour and fifteen minutes in round-robin play against the Westside Warriors. They seemed to again run out of gas after this effort the same way they had after forcing the final game in the Flag-a-Palooza championship. Possibly the more critical thing to come out of the marathon game, though, is the heating up of a rivalry between the two young teams.

Git r' Done has become a lightning rod for rivalry and controversy both on the field and off. Recently while trying to create a visual identity in anticipation of WSEM’s inaugural season, Git r' Done’s selection of the Confederate Flag as their logo made many around the league uncomfortable, including in the league’s front office. Apprehensively a compromise was reached, and a modified flag with wiffleballs substituted for the stars was uploaded to the website. The front page blurb announcing the logo included this statement, “(Git r' Done has chosen) a logo that might make them WSEM's team people love to hate, like the Yankees, though not at all like Yankees.” The expectation was that players would use their disdain for the divisive symbol as extra determination to beat Git r' Done on the field. However, the WSEM Facebook immediately started buzzing with ranging levels of dissatisfaction with the use of politically charged emblem: from lighthearted, sarcastic jabs to discussion of why use the flag and whether it should be allowed, and even some players expressing their desire not to play in games that would associate them with the Confederate symbol.

Controversial logo used from 1/30/2011-1/31/2011

The controversy peaked less than twenty-four hours after the posting of the logo, and Captain Dennis Pearson chose to have the logo removed and begin a search for a new team identity. Pearson expressed that something such as a logo or symbol isn’t nearly as important as playing the game and having fun. “I don’t want people not playin’ against us just because of our logo … I want everybody to play and be fair,” he calmly stated. The WSEM front office responded to the incident by giving Git r' Done a temporary red, white, and blue retro “GRD wiffleball” logo (seen above), and instituting a “standards and common sense” mentality to govern over team names and logos, since image is important for the league’s standing in the community and with future sponsors. It is unclear whether Git r' Done will play as Git r' Done in 2011, now, or if they will select a new moniker for their third year.

Back where every team decision plays a more important role, on the field, Git r' Done heats things up just as much. All three of the core members will take the mound and are solid, competent, and capable pitchers. They won’t light up the world with records, but they don’t need to; they have their offense to do that. They can put up 5 runs or more runs and with error-free defense and solid pitching that is enough to win frequently, if not consistently. Gaige Braden played in 2009 and will return to the lineup full time this 2011 season. Joining him on the roster are Josh Roberts, who played in a limited role at the September 2010 tournament, and Chris Barta. In the sea of potential, progress, and power Git r' Done has, consistency is the one big question mark. No matter what the 2011 season holds for the young, talented team of Git r' Done, they have already made a terrific mark on Wiffle in Southeast Michigan, both on and off the field.

Team Page: http://wiffleinsemiteams.blogspot.com/p/thunder-ducks.html

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Brandon M. Corbett
Flying Squirrels, 17, P
Co-Commissioner,
Secretary of Defense