Oh, Hey Todd.

		Your Junk my Happy Zone
		by Brandon Corbett

So far this season WSEM has gotten away virtually Todd free it seems. You remember Todd, right? So, where has he been? The DeLoppes have played all of their games in the friendly confines of Frenchtown Field, and you can confidently say that the little specter's one-nutted curse has not affected them. Likewise the Commandos, who will play their first road games this weekend, have rather been blessed with what many believe is an overachieving .500 record at home to start the season. Who knows? Maybe the wretched weather we have had over the start of most of the season made him decide to loom over India a bit longer after the World Cup of Cricket for a rash of spontaneous holiday haunting. Or maybe he has been here all along and was the weather that has been plaguing us. Well wherever Todd has been, his hex unquestionably made its first huge supernatural play against the home team in WSEM league games.

The Westside Warriors opened their Westside Reservation on Sunday with what was to be a four game series against Git r' Done. However, they only played two, and only five complete innings at that. No, it was not on behalf of the weather; it was high 70s and sunny. It was at the behest of the de-balled and bereft Todd. The Warriors were mercied quickly in both games, and just as swiftly the minds of the team were distracted and floating this way and that on anything but the game. At one point Warriors outfielder Nick Woods was seen texting on his phone in the field, possessed by Todd who was likely prank texting the Detroit Cricket Club; the records of the texts in question have yet to be released to prove this. The sense of "don't wanna be here" ectoplasm emanating off the Warriors is the most severe amplification of Todd's abilities to affect the concentration and skill level of a wiffleball home team yet seen. Maybe he brought back some new tricks from his recent stint in India?

Nick Woods caught on film possessed by Todd sending spooky,
yet horribly out-dated with early 80s slang text messages.

One thing is undeniable about Todd since his return, though: he is much more thorough, much more ruthless, he is not after-living within limits or playing by any rules. Not only did he destroy the Warriors' will to win or compete on the field, but his twisted hex followed the players into the clubhouse and in its insatiable evil is threatening to disenfranchise the team. Literally. Disenfranchise: as in to no longer be a franchise. The team's complacent, unenthusiastic attitude has pushed captain Alex Shore about as far as he is willing to go. Alex, for his part, seems to be immune to Todd's non-corporeal wiles; or maybe Todd's just such a sick bastard now that he just wants to watch someone suffer while he intertwines his tricks. Whether or not Alex is the chosen one to ultimately defeat Todd or if he is just another pawn, talk over the past week has set in motion the possible folding of his Westside Warriors and signing with another team to finish the 2011 season and beyond. I suppose we can answer the "where has Todd been" question, though: in Farmington, nefariously plotting. He seems to have put all the pieces in place and pulled the strings perfectly to enact his plan and exact his revenge.

Is this hooded figure Todd admiring his handiwork
from the outfield at the Westside Reservation?

What a motherfucker! But even if Todd is able to take down one of our teams with his curse, we will not let it infect, hang over, or haunt the rest of the league or this season. If it comes to it, we will play with seven teams; one or two of whom's roster will get a great pick-me-up addition and new found life in the clubhouse. What will not happen is that we will not let losing one team mean we lose the league, our simultaneous sense of comradery and competition, or site of what we want WSEM to become. Sure, looking at the standings week after week and seeing that team permanently relegated to the 8th spot will be disappointing, but it doesn't weaken the league. It could actually do a couple things to boost the competition and mentality of the league: 1) There would be a play-off bye to shoot for, so teams may fight for that through the last day of the season. 2) The level of enthusiasm off the field and energy on the field would jump through the roof (if we had a domed field). The players who would be lost were apathetic about the game and league, but the ones who would stay to picked up by other teams would be playing out of their minds to prove themselves and show their former teammates what they left behind. So, everyone who remains in WSEM is enthusiastic and involved in the league, all about it. Try and find something bad about that!