Shane Myers was thrust into Wiffle in Southeast Michigan as an emergency replacement for the Westside Warriors on May 14th. All he did in that performance was hit 2 HR, drive in 5 RBI, bat .600, and slug .867 to lead the Warrior's offensive charge on the day. Captain Alex Shore was quick to bump Shane up from substitute to a spot on the full time roster.
Since that time he has played in just four more games, although that number may be reduced on account of the forfeits two weeks ago. In those four games, though, he has done nothing but continue to bolster his numbers. His AVG is good enough for #3 in the league (.472), has tripled his RBI total from his first day (15), crossed the plate 12 times, and is at a .750 SLG%. Shane has also tacked on 13 BBs for good measure. In only one game has Myers had an OBP below .400, while he has posted that number above .700 three times. He is an offensive machine!
Still, his contributions slip largely under the radar. Even his captain, Shore, was shocked when he saw Myers' .472 avg near the top of the leader board. "What?! Shane Myers is third in hitting?," to paraphrase Alex's reaction. Shane's a quiet guy (at least around most of the league) on a loud team full of big numbers. So, it's not surprising that his efforts are overlooked. He shares a clubhouse with Maclin Malloy and all the chatter of his pitching dominance, Matt Whelan and his outstanding offensive numbers, and Alex Shore who... do we really need to same more? Really it is the perfect atmosphere for a player like Shane to thrive: the opponents concentrate on the rest of his roster, and before they know what's happened Myers has blown the game wide open. With the black uniforms that the Warriors wear he is already primed for the assassin's role.
Shane's 2011 stats (as of June 30th) to complete the card treatment:
With Carl out of commission with strep, I figure I will try my hand at one of his Coffee Time rankings efforts. Then once it is done and after you have read it, you can wish even harder for his speedy recovery! In the last two weeks Carl has done top 5 pitchers and hitters lists, as well as power rankings. So, what does that leave us to rank? Best deliveries? Top 5 trip and falls? Best facial hair... and its impact on the game? How about just "best looks?"
If you have ever been to the Teams or the Standings pages, then you will notice we have a very colorful league: a wide-spread assortment of team colors. As far as this article is concerned I wish I could concentrate on teams' on-field looks, i.e. jerseys, but with only three teams having them (Squirrels, Warriors, and DeLoppes) that is next to impossible. So, take two: I will go with ranking teams' look and style as a whole. Jerseyed team will get top billing, and I will lead up to those by giving the rest love, or hate, based on their logos alone.
8. Git r' Done
I don't even know what this is. Obviously it's a face traveling blazingly fast with a backwards hat on, but is it a face on a wiffleball? Or just some mustachioed guy? A faced wiffleball could be a good nod to Dennis Pearson, if that is what it is. Really, it looks like a window or bumper sticker you see on early 90s half-rusted out trucks: not really an image that shouts "wiffle." Git r' Done also lose style points for the bulk of their roster wearing blue Carlson Marauders gear when they listed their team color as red in the beginning of the year. What is this? Amateur hour? (That's for you, Carl!)
7. Campus Commandos
Not a bad logo, per se, but the fact that is actually the company's logo hurts its rank. (No offense, Adam: I just hate "sponsorship" of teams. :P). I will give a nod to the coincidence that the Commandos use the jungle camouflage greens and play at a field nicknamed the Jungle. So, there are some style points thrown in for that!
6. Ass Kickers
To be fair, it is not really fair to rank or critique this logo. This is one of the logos made to temporarily fill in, but was never replaced with a submission from the team. Still, an ass kicking boot on a ball diamond isn't a terrible identity, just kind of... unimpressive overall. To improve on it there is also this more "amusing, wiffle attitude" alternate: boot prints wiffling an ass!
5. Jason Mattseals
This logo is just awesome. A seal balancing a wiffleball, about to swing a wiffle bat, in kelley green and royal blue: this is a "wiffle attitude" logo if there ever was one. Full disclosure: this logo is an altered California Golden Seals logo, but that doesn't take anything away from the amusement it provides. It also pretty much perfectly illustrates the on-field personality of the Mattseals.
4. Belgian Wiffles
What can I say? It's a waffle that's wiffled! With butter! Probably the best primary logo in the league: its simplicity is what makes this a home run. Funny story: it almost never got used. Okay, not a funny story... or even much of a story, really. Captain Buhr had commissioned a jersey and new logo back in March, but it was aborted, abandoned, never completed, etc. Now, though, we can all take solace in that even though the jerseys never made it to the field, at least this gem of a logo got to stay.
Home whites and road greys! How does a team with home and road sets not get the top spot? Simple. This is just not a good logo; especially for wiffleball. The logo switch made in mid-June looks like something you wake up with on a friend of a friends' floor after stumbling drunk into a tattoo parlor at 4am. I get that it is supposed to be reminiscent of the Tigers' old-English D, but it doesn't get the job done. A huge downgrade from the minimalist ball and bat they started the season with; "MMA/ghetto fabulous" does not work as a wiffleball look. The Squirrels have a superior logo design, but the multiple jerseys and their quality give the DeLoppes the push to beat them out. The simplicity of the jersey design is wonderful, and it is a huge relief that the colored side panels from early prototypes were left on the cutting room floor for the final design.
1. Westside Warriors
Great hockey stylelayout. The black and orange pops and stands out distinctively: the guys most often tend to match fairly uniform black shorts, too. Not even the random grey piping ruins the look, which is really surprising since I hate random piping and garish side panels (looking at you early 2011 DeLoppes white jerseys). The Native American's head logo is dignified and steady, not trying to be anything more than it is; it is a logo that just exudes confidence.
Well then, what have we learned about proper wiffle design? Obviously, trying to be more "badass" falls flat on its face. Humor and silliness tend to capture that "kid's game played in a backyard" atmosphere of the game. As always, there is also something to be given to understatement. The main thing I am coming away with, though, (and hope you do, too!) is that more teams need jerseys for next year!
Bobby's found his number! [ref.: see #3] The DeLoppes third and newest jersey style this year finally sees Bobby's rightful number 96 emblazoned across his back, bold in black. His number's not the only thing Bobby Hoppe has found this year, either: he's found his bat! In a big way.
Before this season it could not have been easy for Bobby scrapping in the shadows behind the likes of his brother Chad and Joey DeLano on the DeLoppes. Onlookers would often see only those two, associate the "DeL" and "oppes" to their last names, and only later realize there were "other Hoppes" on the team. This disrespect seems to have sent Bobby on a quest in the offseason to earn his face time and a prominent position on this team. He embarked with a supply of medicinal herbs, wearing his signature red Titleist cap, map in hand and pointed himself in the direction of "Wiffle Mecca," which conveniently followed a route featuring many Chinese buffets. He has never shown the map to anyone, and many believe he found other use for it while on the journey.
We can however safely assume a few things about what it contained. It almost certainly seldom made use of the letter 'K' or 'O.' Instead using 'R,' 'B,' and 'I,' as well as 'H' and 'R' in place of those. Numbers bigger than one must also have been included en masse: 2s and 3s specifically; unless Bobby just trained by ritually double or triple folding the map between the times he's rumored to have torn and rolled pieces of it. Lastly, not about the physical map itself, but he must have carried it in a long plastic container the same size, shape, and weight of a wiffle bat to allow Bobby to become so well acquainted with how to effectively use the real thing.
How far did Bobby trek to reach "Wiffle Mecca?" What did he find when he got there? Did he get ever get there, or is the idea of "Wiffle Mecca" just the drive for a player to make themself better and obtain that new level through their journeyman training? ... Shit. This is getting philosophical. There's no time for that in wiffleball... Unless a philosophy that works is what Bobby learned, a steady and centered consciousness on the field: see ball, smash ball, flash a confident smile, pick cigarette back up, and repeat. Wherever his journey took him, whatever was waiting for him at the end underneath the 'X': it worked. Bobby has come out in 2011 as a whole new ballplayer, playing a huge part in his team's success. He is ripping the ball harder, for better average, and coming through in clutch situations. He has found his bat, and damnit has he earned his number 96! So, with that, here are a few more numbers for Bobby:
Bobby's 2011 stats (as of June 16th) to complete the card treatment:
It is Week 8 and time for some WSEM power rankings, and I must say, parity has not been our friend this season. Git r' Done and the Wiffling DeLoppes started hot and have stayed hot, while the other six teams are either just hanging around or have been huge disappointments. I didn't use a fancy computer formula or poll the coaches to figure these rankings out; they are all just my personal opinion. I know a few may spark some anger or even confuse you, but that's the point. So yeah... enjoy!
They did get the monkey off their back against the struggling Flying Squirrels last Saturday, but the Mattseals still only managed two runs in those four games. The good: Jason Hewlett is becoming more polished every time he pitches. The bad: This team only has one quality hitter, Jeff Biegas. They are a fun team to play against, though, and I do believe they will win a game or two more before the season ends.
Besides Git r' Done and the DeLoppes, the Squirrels are actually the only other team with a winning record in the last five games. However, those games were against the Commandos and the Mattseals. The good: Merlo and Corbett are an outstanding 1-2 punch on the mound. The bad: This team cannot score runs. If the Squirrels can learn to hit the ball again, I bet a lot of teams would not be too excited to see this team in the 1st round of the playoffs.
Going into the season the Campus Commandos were the most unknown team in the league. Right now, captain Adam Grant has built this team into one of the most active in the league. They also have overachieved for the most part, but a four game sweep from the DeLoppes has unfortunately cornered them in the 6th spot. The good: Joe Seto. The bad: No #2 pitcher. No other standout hitters. The rest of the Commandos are getting better as they gain experience, and I look forward to seeing how this team will finish the season.
The Belgian Wiffles almost deserve being ranked 8th for their lack to put together a real roster. Belgian is losing a player a week it seems like, and that is not a healthy trend. Why are they ranked 5th then? Well, in the last couple of weeks they beat the DeLoppes twice, and Git r' Done once. That has to impress. The good: Belgian finds ways to win, even with a small roster. The bad: Will this team have enough players to even compete in the playoffs? [Ed. note: to be eligible for a playoff roster, a player must have 5 games with the team.] I hope this team can sign a couple of reliable guys down the stretch, because I would hate to see this team's talents wasted.
Captain Alex Shore scrambles each week to find people to play for his team (Take note, Belgian). Many of these guys have never played wiffleball before, but they still manage to stay competitive. If Alex Shore can get Whelan and Malloy to play with him consistently, they will be a tough team to beat. The good: This team didn't fold! The bad: Walks, walks, walks. When it is all said and done, the Warriors will be in the #4 or #5 playoff spot.
I know some people will have a tough time seeing me put the Ass Kickers here, but I do believe this is the 3rd best team in the league right now. A part of me also believes Brian Constanti is saving all of his best stuff for the playoffs, so that could make things interesting. The good: Mike Constanti has carried this team on the mound. The bad: Their .248 team batting average is worse than the Squirrels. If the Ass Kickers can have four players down the stretch and into the playoffs, this team will be in the finals.
I almost just put the DeLoppes and Git r' Done at 1a and 1b, but the DeLoppes do not have Dennis Pearson. The DeLoppes are built to win, and Chad Hoppe already deserves to be Captain of the Year. My only concern is, are the DeLoppes just built for regular season dominance? They have proved me wrong already though, so I would not bet against these guys again. The good: Deep roster, no weaknesses The bad: Tough one... too many jerseys to choose from? [Ed. note: Recent logo downgrade?] In future seasons when a team wants to be successful, they should model themselves after what the DeLoppes have done this season.
Git r' Done continues to win, and win, and then win some more. Something that gets unnoticed is the fine job captain Dennis Pearson has done compiling his 1st place team. He also has done a great job not overdoing it on the mound. Git r' Done is winning with power, both pitching and hitting. The good: Dennis's arm is holding up. The bad: A team this good should have uniforms. Git r' Done will be in the best of 7 Championship Series, I have no doubt.
Those are my power rankings and I must say it wasn't easy to figure out teams 3-7. So, although we have two teams dominating, I still think the rest of the season will be quite interesting as the playoff seedings are ironed out.
Before the season started I wrote about all the fun you can have and the interesting-to-weird things you can do with building your own wiffleball field. Four teams have already built and played on their home fields with a fifth opening this weekend and a sixth still possible. So, of course, this got me thinking about how reality matches up with those crazy dreams. I will start off with looking at two fields that debuted Opening Weekend and have hosted 16 of the 47 WSEM games so far this inaugural season, how they play, and what makes them special.
Constanti Field - Brownstown, MI
First up, let's take the trip to Brownstown, MI and have a look at the grounds of Constanti Field. Constanti Field is nestled in an open space between backyards of a residential neighborhood built in the 90s, which was originally intended to be a park. This setting gives playing there an enclosed feel, somewhat reminiscent of Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, especially with the all the windows looking down on you from behind the outfield. Even greater, though, is the sense of being a kid again that it brings up: playing ball in backyards, making up the ground rules, the creativity, and the larger than life moments. The Sunday series hosted at Constanti Field take you back to that.
Brushing up against neighboring backyards makes the grounds quite scenic, as well. The trees and landscaping behind left field give batters a lot to aim for and measure home runs by. The white fence in right provides a nice asymmetry. This location does also create some limitations and criticisms of Constanti Field, however. The first is only an occasional, weather dependent issue. After heavy rains the field can turn into a mud pit with right-field even being underwater; making for wild, wet, and wobbly playing conditions. Obviously with the spring we had this was highlighted earlier in the year, and won Constanti Field the nickname "The Swamp."
The second criticism that comes up is that the fences in both right and left field are quite short, and players around the league have not held back in letting it be known that many home runs at Constanti are chip shots. Center field does get respectably deep, however, and has taken away home runs that would have left other yards. So, while Constanti Field does have Pesky Pole short-porch syndrome, the field does a fair job evening out in the vein of Petco Park overall. In my opinion the one thing the dimensions really change about the game is not the long ball, but the positioning of defenders. The short right field wall pretty much puts the right/right-center fielder in straight away center, due to having little room or need, aside from ground balls, to be positioned further right. Obviously, this makes for a tight defense to try to get a ball through in the right-handed pull field; even further balancing out the gifts of the short-porches.
Constanti Field is a nice place to play a series or two. I would not want to play all of my games there, but the enclosed backyard feel and sense of being a kid that you get while playing there is excellent, and that is really what wiffle is about. Definitely a good experience once or twice a season.
Lafayette Park - Detroit, MI
Next up, we head downtown to Lafayette Park! This is, without a doubt, the most polarizing field in the league. There are huge issues that players have with the quality of field conditions. First up, let's go with a problem that has been fixed. On Opening Weekend Lafayette Park did not have enough fencing to complete its outfield wall, and used branches to complete the span in right field. Ugly: yes. Effective: not really. Disgraceful: yeah, pretty much. Since that time more silt fencing has been procured to render this quibble with Lafayette moot. However, the bigger (read," longer") problem with the grounds still exists.
Quite literally: the grass is long! This really falls on the location: a public park in the city of Detroit. A city with little resources really is not going to keep its open parks cut short, and even when they do mow Lafayette the grass is still longer than most. This feature has given Lafayette Park the nickname "The Jungle." While the problems players around the league have with the long playing surface vary from "eh, kind of annoying" to "this is a huge fucking problem," what the length really does is change the game play drastically! Obviously a slow playing surface, most ground balls that would cross the dead ball line elsewhere stay foul, and balls that would normally make it to the SS or LF stop short and make for tough plays. Sure, you could be mad about it, but really isn't that the point of home field advantage and building different fields? Different gimmicks? Different ways they play? It has burned me more than a couple times and I do not love the long grass, but I do not completely hate it either.
The third feature at Lafayette that causes contention, but I absolutely love, is the tree in left field! Its branches overhang into fair territory and the ground rule is that it is a live ball capable of being caught, plinko-ing back into fair territory or over the fence for a home run: essentially it is treated just like gusts of wind. I love it! It came up in a Westside Warriors vs. Campus Commandos game, and damn did the Warriors have the total opposite reaction of me when the tree knocked a grand slam over the fence. But hey, unique ground rules are awesome! They keep the game sensational and out of the box. Plus they allow for those perfect "wtf!?!?" moments that are as hilarious as they are puzzling. Much love for the tree and other anomalies!
Even the players that protest conditions or ground rules at Lafayette agree on one thing about this field. The location and scenery it provides are absolutely first rate! The field is half a mile east of I-375, and when viewed from down the right field line or behind the right field has Greektown Casino, the Renaissance Center, and the rest of the Detroit Skyline as a backdrop. A lot of teams have been hesitant to make the trip, but after playing down there were thrilled by the experience. Similarly, after seeing pictures from games teams have jumped up to excitedly set up their own games at Lafayette. It is a polarizing setting - not just between people, but sometimes within one person - but Lafayette Park is definitely one of the fields with the most personality, intrigue, and draw in WSEM.
Next time we will trek to our most northern and southern fields, as we take a look at the twice used and coming into its own Westside Reservation and the field that has been improved on each week while being the workhorse for WSEM so far this year, Frenchtown Field. Until then check out this field the Winston Salem Wiffleball League just recently debuted, and somebody get on finding a site like this!
Dylan Braden cracks the list at #5, narrowly beating out Bobby Hoppe, Jeff Biegas, and Brian Constanti. The deciding factor are his power numbers. Dylan is tied for 2nd in home runs at 7, and his 21 RBIs rank 3rd. Dylan is one half of the DD Boys, and I did predict these two would both be Top 5 In home runs this year. I have no doubt that prediction will come true when the season closes.
In the mess that is the Westside Warriors, their only consistent player has been captain Alex Shore. Their four wins are all because of clutch hitting performances from Alex, and I put clutch performances on a pedestal. Alex is easily the most powerful and dangerous lefty in the league with 6 home runs, and many times that lefty power can cause trouble for opposing defenses. With Nick Woods leaving the team, Alex now has to carry the load as the offensive leader for the Warriors.
What doesn't Joe Seto do? Mr. Seto made both lists at #3. In the very first game of WSEM history, Joe went 5 for 7 with 4 home runs and 10 RBIs. We knew he couldn't keep up a pace like that, but he hasn't fallen off very far. His AVG, SLG, and OPS numbers are among the best in the league, and his six home runs put him in a tie for 3rd. Who would have thought this Donkey would make such a big splash as a Commando?
Dennis Pearson joins Joe Seto as another player on both lists. Dennis barely missed being #1 on both lists, but I wouldn't put it past him to have that honor when the season closes. Dennis leads the league in 2 of the 3 Triple Crown categories (HR, RBI), and is 2nd in AVG. Dennis has one simple strategy when at the plate, and it is the same strategy when he pitches: HE GOES ALL OUT! Dennis swings for the fences every at bat, and that strategy has obviously paid off.
Did I put Joey at #1 so I could get one of my predictions right, or because I didn't want Dennis to be #1 on both lists? How dare you ask that! Joey DeLano deserves this spot. He leads the league in AVG, and I also say he leads in OBP, since the two guys ahead of him are part timers. When you break down every stat, AVG and OBP are the two most important stats offensively [Ed. note: Really? Not SLG?]. Another reason DeLano beat out Dennis is because of his lightning quick speed. His nine doubles and three triples both lead the league, and he leads his team in home runs at four. I've often said there's only two ways of getting Joey DeLano out: striking him out, or have him pop out. When this guy puts one on the ground, he will be on base.
I did a little better in the hitters' rankings, getting 2 of 5 right. #5 Nick Woods (WW), #4 Brandon Corbett (FS), and #2 Brian Constanti (AK) all dropped out of the rankings. When I do an end of the year rankings for hitters, I will change it to top 10. Too many players with great half seasons were left off this list. On podcast #4, I will make sure the guys left out will get some love.
With most teams at or near the half way point of the season, it is time for new Top 5 rankings! Well, before the season even started I ranked both the Top 5 pitchers and the Top 5 hitters. Those rankings were based on past stats and the potential I saw in those players. These rankings will be a lot easier, since I have actual stats to base the rankings off of. Looking at the new rankings: I was more wrong than right. But hey, who takes preseason rankings seriously? Enjoy!
#5 - Chuck Weiler - Belgian Wiffles Preseason Rank: Not Ranked
When I ranked the Top 5 pitchers, I had no problem figuring out the first four, #5 was tough though. It was a toss up between Cliff Comstock of the Wiffling DeLoppes and Chuck, but in the end I had to give it to Chuck. Even though the Belgian Wiffles have only played eight games, it is obvious that Chuck has the stuff of an ace. If I had to put money on it, I would even say he will move up in the Top 5 rankings when I do them one last time at the end of the season. Chuck leads the league in ERA, and as the season progresses, he will be right up there in strike outs and wins too.
#4 - Michael Constanti - Ass Kickers Preseason Rank: Not Ranked
No, this is not a typo; Michael is now the better pitcher of the two Constanti brothers. No one fell farther from my preseason list than #1 ranked Brian Constanti, and no one on the new list surprised me more than Michael. With rumors of Brian holding back his best stuff, Michael has not been shy to bring it. His 69 K's rank 3rd, while his 2.06 ERA ranks 4th. The Ass Kickers are very fortunate Michael has performed this way, and I am very curious to see if he can keep it up.
Joe Seto has put the Commandos on his back and carried them to a shocking and very impressive start. Joe eats up many innings for his team, and you have to wonder if he will hold up. Joe leads the league in innings at 38, but yet, only has walked 11 batters. He also is 2nd in K's at 74, and many of those come at clutch times. Joe won't over power you with lightning stuff, but it doesn't seem to matter.
Oh hey, one of my preseason ranked guys made this list! Is Chad Hoppe the ace of the Wiffling DeLoppes? Yes. Is Chad Hoppe the reason for the DeLoppes impressive start? Kinda. The Wiffling DeLoppes have a deep roster with two starting pitchers (C.Hoppe, Comstack) and two relief pitchers (B. Hoppe, McDonald). I make these points not to downplay anything Chad has done, but to praise him for his superior managing skills. Now lets talk about his own pitching talents. Chad is second in the league in ERA at 1.43, and 4th in K's at 63. I have no doubt when the playoffs start, Chad will even take his stuff a notch or two higher, and that will be frightening.
#1 - Dennis Pearson - Git r' Done Preseason Rank: Not Ranked
I was skeptical to put Dennis in my preseason rankings because of his wild throwing. He is much improved in that category, and his 37 walks compared to 82 K's is why I put him at #1. You can also look at his 2.32 ERA which ranks him 5th and ask, how that is #1 worthy? Well in the opening weekend, Dennis was injured from pitching too much in our April tournament and was pitching at probably 50%. He got knocked around by the DeLoppes and the Mattseals but he is back at full strength now. One reason why he is back at full strength and staying healthy is he has given Dylan Braden 23 innings. When Dennis is on, he is unhittable, simple as that.
Well, I got 1 out of 5 right. Mendoza lined it. The four pitchers who dropped from my rankings are: #5 Dylan Braden (GD), #4 Maclin Malloy (WW), #2 Brandon Corbett (FS), and #1 Brian Constanti (AK). It has been a very unpredictable half season and if that is any measure to how the rest plays out, the next rankings could change just as much.
When Josh Roberts arrived at his first WSEM league game he walked the long and lonely road to the field. Literally. He was dropped off at the end of Frenchtown Field's 50+ yard driveway and took each step in stride, carrying his drink for the day, getting loose for his upcoming games, and thinking about how he was going to approach the the DeLoppes' and Mattseals' pitching. With players and spectators already assembled everyone stopped what they were doing and admired his definitive, poignant method of arrival. Some, seemingly starstruck, could be heard to murmur, "who is this guy?" While many others did cut right cut through to the obvious question, "what the hell? Why'd he get dropped off at the end of the driveway?" Okay, in the spirit of total honesty, that whole part about game planning is complete conjecture, but how else do you explain his .462 BA out of the gate in Week 1? Josh is heady, two steps ahead of you, but you wouldn't guess that based on the way he carries himself.
It's very probable that what Josh was thinking as he approached Frenchtown Field and its staring assembly was, "if they think this long walk in is something, just wait until they get a load of me!" And oh boy! Would he ever be right! Josh Roberts is a character. His antics on the field are some of the most demonstrative, over the top, and likely embarrassing to a lesser man: Truffle Shuffles, half-shirts, random singing and dancing, random-er bat tricks, loud exploits and odd approaches, along with the occasional as awkward as possible way start a conversation. All delightful amusements to be sure, but could Josh have a less happy-go-lucky reason hidden behind his amorous behavior? Trying to get in opponents heads, take them off their game, and catch them off guard maybe? Only Josh knows for sure if that constant smile he wears is because he is having fun or if he knows he just suckered you.
Roberts knows he is a role player for Git r' Done, and he accepts that position with the team gladly. He even seems to thrive on it, due in large part to the "what's the best way to make this fun," carefree attitude he approaches the game with. Josh will never over analyze or worry about the heat or junk a pitcher is going to throw; he is just going to go up there, swing the bat, and try to help the team, because let's face it: when your winning the laughs roll out a lot easier, and that is Josh's element. Sure, he'll strike out and unintentionally look silly for a change sometimes, but instead of throwing the bat into the ground he'll do something like balance it on his nose. Why? *shrug* Why not? You won't keep Josh Roberts down, and you will never keep Josh Roberts from having fun.
Going back to add something to the opening "long walk to the ball field" story, because it's smooth to work in circles. Just this past weekend Josh confessed the real reason why he was dropped off at the end of the driveway on Opening Weekend, and none of our early thoughts were anywhere near close. Turns out that his mom, in his words, "is a terrible driver... she would have hit every car in the driveway trying to get in and out of here." So, go ahead and add "considerate" to the list of good qualities Josh possesses, too.
Josh's 2011 stats (as of June 2nd) on the back of his card:
So far this season WSEM has gotten away virtually Todd free it seems. You remember Todd, right? So, where has he been? The DeLoppes have played all of their games in the friendly confines of Frenchtown Field, and you can confidently say that the little specter's one-nutted curse has not affected them. Likewise the Commandos, who will play their first road games this weekend, have rather been blessed with what many believe is an overachieving .500 record at home to start the season. Who knows? Maybe the wretched weather we have had over the start of most of the season made him decide to loom over India a bit longer after the World Cup of Cricket for a rash of spontaneous holiday haunting. Or maybe he has been here all along and was the weather that has been plaguing us. Well wherever Todd has been, his hex unquestionably made its first huge supernatural play against the home team in WSEM league games.
The Westside Warriors opened their Westside Reservation on Sunday with what was to be a four game series against Git r' Done. However, they only played two, and only five complete innings at that. No, it was not on behalf of the weather; it was high 70s and sunny. It was at the behest of the de-balled and bereft Todd. The Warriors were mercied quickly in both games, and just as swiftly the minds of the team were distracted and floating this way and that on anything but the game. At one point Warriors outfielder Nick Woods was seen texting on his phone in the field, possessed by Todd who was likely prank texting the Detroit Cricket Club; the records of the texts in question have yet to be released to prove this. The sense of "don't wanna be here" ectoplasm emanating off the Warriors is the most severe amplification of Todd's abilities to affect the concentration and skill level of a wiffleball home team yet seen. Maybe he brought back some new tricks from his recent stint in India?
Nick Woods caught on film possessed by Todd sending spooky,
yet horribly out-dated with early 80s slang text messages.
One thing is undeniable about Todd since his return, though: he is much more thorough, much more ruthless, he is not after-living within limits or playing by any rules. Not only did he destroy the Warriors' will to win or compete on the field, but his twisted hex followed the players into the clubhouse and in its insatiable evil is threatening to disenfranchise the team. Literally. Disenfranchise: as in to no longer be a franchise. The team's complacent, unenthusiastic attitude has pushed captain Alex Shore about as far as he is willing to go. Alex, for his part, seems to be immune to Todd's non-corporeal wiles; or maybe Todd's just such a sick bastard now that he just wants to watch someone suffer while he intertwines his tricks. Whether or not Alex is the chosen one to ultimately defeat Todd or if he is just another pawn, talk over the past week has set in motion the possible folding of his Westside Warriors and signing with another team to finish the 2011 season and beyond. I suppose we can answer the "where has Todd been" question, though: in Farmington, nefariously plotting. He seems to have put all the pieces in place and pulled the strings perfectly to enact his plan and exact his revenge.
Is this hooded figure Todd admiring his handiwork
from the outfield at the Westside Reservation?
What a motherfucker! But even if Todd is able to take down one of our teams with his curse, we will not let it infect, hang over, or haunt the rest of the league or this season. If it comes to it, we will play with seven teams; one or two of whom's roster will get a great pick-me-up addition and new found life in the clubhouse. What will not happen is that we will not let losing one team mean we lose the league, our simultaneous sense of comradery and competition, or site of what we want WSEM to become. Sure, looking at the standings week after week and seeing that team permanently relegated to the 8th spot will be disappointing, but it doesn't weaken the league. It could actually do a couple things to boost the competition and mentality of the league: 1) There would be a play-off bye to shoot for, so teams may fight for that through the last day of the season. 2) The level of enthusiasm off the field and energy on the field would jump through the roof (if we had a domed field). The players who would be lost were apathetic about the game and league, but the ones who would stay to picked up by other teams would be playing out of their minds to prove themselves and show their former teammates what they left behind. So, everyone who remains in WSEM is enthusiastic and involved in the league, all about it. Try and find something bad about that!
